Standing Firm
Based on conversations with FAM Fellowship members, the email I receive and the search phrases used to bring people to this ministry, I know one of the most challenging issues for many standing for the restoration of their marriage is standing itself. Sadly, one of the search phrases used this week probably expresses how a lot of people feel, but don’t verbalize, at least not to me, because they know what my answer would be. The search phrase was “how long should you stand for restoration of your marriage”, which I’ll attempt to address today by sharing just a few Bible verses about standing..
First and foremost though, the answer to that question is that if you have to ask it, you probably need to seriously examine your reasons and motives for standing for marriage restoration in the first place, and more than likely they’re not what they should be. So please take a minute to HONESTLY answer this question. Why are you standing for the restoration of your marriage? Since that’s something I often ask the women I talk to, I know what the usual answers are. And based on what James 4:3 tells us about why our prayers are not answered, they’re cause for concern, because it says When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
The ONLY answer to the “why” question that keeps us from asking the “how long” question is “in obedience and submission to the will and word of God.” And that’s why I tell every woman I speak to about marriage restoration that she MUST first determine the will of God for her situation through studying the Bible and prayer and fasting. That’s the ONLY way we can ever stand firm for the restoration of our marriages…NO MATTER WHAT. And as Isaiah 7:9 tells us …>If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.'” When we stand for the restoration of our marriages in obedience and submission to Christ, that makes Him the priority of our lives, and NOT our husbands and not our marriages. In fact, I firmly believe that many of us made the mistake of putting our husbands and marriages above our walk and relationship with the Lord, and the Bible is full of scripture verses clearly warning us that He will take anything we place above Him away from us. The very first commandment was that we should have no other gods before Him, and many of us are guilty of doing exactly that in terms of our husbands and marriages. Don’t expect the Lord to restore a relationship that you want or think you need more than Him, because it won’t happen! However, you CAN rely on the promise found in Matthew 6:33, which says But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So our PRIMARY focus should be seeking the Lord and His righteousness, and then HE will give us the restoration of our marriages.
Our obedience and submission to the will and word of Christ is the ONLY foundation strong enough to withstand the storms and trials of marriage restoration, and the ONLY one that will be strong enough to hold our marriages together once the Lord restores them. Jesus gives us a very powerful illustration of that in these verses from Matthew 7:
24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.
27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
I hope the following verses will encourage you and remind you to stand firm in your faith and confidence in the will and word of God, and in the knowledge that HE is the one who WILL restore your marriage.
Proverbs 10:25
When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever.
Exodus 14:13
Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.
1 Samuel 12:16
“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!
James 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.
2 Corinthians 1:
20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.
21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us,
22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
Psalm 33:11
But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.