Some of the most painful and challenging conversations I have with women standing for marriage restoration occur when their husbands are being incredibly irresponsible, insensitive, cruel and thoughtless, because there are times when we can’t help feeling like a “doormat” when we do what the Bible tells us to do in such circumstances. For instance JUST doing what the following passage from Luke 6 tells us is a huge challenge for all of us, because it says:
27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.
30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.
31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them.
33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that.
34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full.

Yep, that definitely sounds like being a doormat when we lean on our own understanding, and think like the rest of the world. But since the final outcome we want is so much different than what the rest of the world ends up with, we must be willing to do things differently. And here’s what Luke 6 goes on to tell us happens when we do things God’s way instead:
35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

I probably wouldn’t believe anyone standing for marriage restoration who denies feeling like a doormat from time to time, or the internal struggle that goes on inside of all of us when we fight the sinful nature of our flesh and try to walk in the power of righteousness, humility and love, which IS our spiritual nature in Christ. And we all know how challenging it is to put 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 into practice at such times, because it says:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Based on my conversations with other women and my own experience, I know ALL of us struggle mightily with not being easily angered, keeping no record of wrongs, and ALWAYS trusting! Some women even feel that doing that would make them look stupid, and they want to know if they’re just supposed to ignore what’s right under their noses. But the Bible doesn’t tell us not to get angry. It just tells us not to sin when we are, and not to let the sun go down on it. And we need to remember who the enemy is and be angry at him instead of our husbands, and even the NCP if there is one. And, of course, the enemy is Satan. Keeping no record of wrongs doesn’t mean we don’t notice them, but it does mean we have to forgive AND FORGET them, because the Bible tells us that when the Lord forgives our sin, He casts it as far as the east is from the west and never looks at it again. And we should never put our trust in our husbands in the first place, because they are human just like us, and we will ALL disappoint each other at some time or another. So our trust must ALWAYS be in the Lord, and that’s why the most important thing to do when we are challenged to walk in the wisdom of any of the above verses is pray.

Obviously, the root problem when being obedient to God’s word makes us feel like a doormat, or ignoring our husbands’ sin makes us feel stupid, especially when they flaunt it right under our noses, is pride. However, that’s another matter for another time, other than a reminder of James 4:6-7, which says But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Jesus obviously knows and understands how difficult it is for us to do many of the things we’re asked to do for the sake of His kingdom and glory, which is why Luke 9:23 says Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. But thank goodness we have the assurance in Philippians 4:13 that we CAN do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us! And then we have God’s awesome promise that we will NEVER be put to shame for being obedient to what His word teaches, as the following passages of scripture reassure us, and which we need to remember the next time Satan tries to convince us that doing things God’s way makes us a doormat or makes us look stupid!

Romans 10:11
As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

1 Peter 2:6
For in Scripture it says: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

Isaiah 50:7
Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.

Isaiah 61:7
Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.

Psalm 25:20
Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

Psalm 31:1
] In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.

Psalm 25:3
No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.

Psalm 71:1
In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame.

Psalm 119:31
I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD; do not let me be put to shame.

Isaiah 45:17
But Israel will be saved by the LORD with an everlasting salvation; you will never be put to shame or disgraced, to ages everlasting.

Psalm 34:4-5
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalm 119:80
May my heart be blameless toward your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.

Psalm 25:2
in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.

Psalm 71:24
My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.

And Jesus gave us HIS personal assurance that being humble and obedient to His word in response to our husbands’ ungodly behavior, as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, will NOT cause us shame, because Matthew 5:2-12 says and he began to teach them saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

We can learn a lot from the instructions in Titus 2:7-8 , because they’re so simple and yet so powerful. It tells us In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. That’s certainly a God glorifying and worthy goal for all of us!

And in our darkest and most difficult moments, it should help and comfort us to remember 2 Timothy 1:12, which says That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. AMEN!!!

Posted Friday, August 18th, 2006 at 2:36 pm in Seeds Of Faith.