One of the saddest aspects of marriage restoration ministry is seeing so much awesome human potential for the furtherance of God’s kingdom wasted, because so many “standers” become so preoccupied with the restoration of their marriages that they end up doing little or NOTHING to use the gifts and talents God has blessed them with for the praise and glory of Jesus. In fact, it’s entirely possible that such preoccupation could actually hinder the marriage restoration they’re so desperate for, based on what Jesus told us in Matthew 25, particularly based on The Parable of the Talents (verses 14 to 30), which says:

“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey.
The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
“After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
“The man with the two talents also came.’Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.’ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
“Then the man who had received the one talent came.’Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’ “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. “‘Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Since Jesus used this parable to describe the kingdom of God, it must be important for us to understand as we strive to learn how things work in accordance with His will and word. And reading it leaves NO doubt that when we use the gifts, talents and ability the Lord blesses us with for the purpose and glory of His kingdom, He will bless us with even more. On the other hand, it’s just as clear that when we don’t use the gifts, talents and ability He’s blessed us with for His purpose and glory, He will take even that away from us. So it’s very important for us not to become so preoccupied with the restoration of our marriages that we lose sight of the work the Lord is calling us to do NOW! And He does have work for us to do every day of our lives. He didn’t die on the cross just to give us fire insurance, and when we got saved and made Him LORD of our lives, it wasn’t just so we could “add a little Jesus” to our lives. Many of us now realize and understand that it was BECAUSE we put our husbands and marriages before the Lord that we ended up in the situations we find ourselves in today. But do we also recognize that we’re doing the same thing now? Only this time, it’s the restoration of our marriages that we’ve allowed to take first place and priority in our lives. That’s just about all we think about, all we talk about, and most of what we pray about, which puts us in danger of James 4:3 being applied to our prayers, because it says When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

I am persuaded that the ones who experience the restoration of their marriages in the end are those who come to understand that “it is NOT about us!” We are not here for any other purpose than to bring praise and glory to Jesus Christ, as Ephesians 1 makes clear. And when we understand that and start living our lives with that in mind; that’s when we will see the power of God move in our lives like never before. When we reach a point in the process of standing for marriage restoration that we become so concerned and burdened for the deliverance and salvation of our husbands that our own desire to have them back pales in comparison, our focus changes and we’re finally able to give the Lord His rightful place in our lives. I wonder how many of us could honestly say that we’d be willing to forfeit our dream of marriage restoration if that was necessary for the salvation of our husbands. My heart breaks for the women who can’t stop looking at what their husbands did/do wrong, and seeing themselves as innocent victims, long enough to acknowledge their own shortcomings and the glorious power of God, because, as long as we’re so focused on everything Satan intends to steal, kill and destroy our marriages, our husbands and our families, we’ll never experience the Lord’s power to work it all together for our good, and for HIS praise and glory.

Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that many of us could honestly say we focus nearly as much time, thought and attention on what pleases the Lord, what He wants, what He thinks, how He feels and what He’s doing as we do our husbands, which says an awful lot about our priorities. And too often, when we do give time, thought and attention to the Lord, much of it is focused on or motivated by our desire for the restoration of our marriages. So it’s important to make an assessment of our relationship with the Lord and what we’re doing with the gifts, talents and abilities He’s blessed us with and how we’re using them, or not using them, for His praise and glory and for the furtherance of His kingdom. After all, His promise to give us the desires of our hearts requires us to “delight” in Him, as we see in Psalm 37:4, which says Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Since we all want the desires of our hearts, all we have to do is start delighting ourselves in the Lord, and when we do that, we won’t be able to avoid using the gifts and talents He gives us, because our hearts will genuinely desire to bring Him praise and glory!

Posted Wednesday, October 11th, 2006 at 4:39 pm in Seeds Of Faith.