Since I know what a huge difference it would make for everyone standing for marriage restoration to understand and believe that it does NOT matter what our spouses think, plan or propose, because in the end it is God who disposes, that’s what I want to focus on today. First, it’s important to dispel any notion we have that man has “free will”, because there is NOTHING that supports that doctrine anywhere in the Bible, and I challenge anyone to prove otherwise. That’s nothing more than Satan’s attempt to elevate the position and authority of man over God, which is not sound biblical doctrine. But this is not about The False Doctrine Of Free Will, even though it IS important to understand that to make sure we realize that God’s will will be done despite ANY contrary plans and intentions our spouses have. But since we need to avoid being Deceived By Deception, our goal is to find a place of trust and confidence in the written word of God that enables our thoughts, words and actions to bear witness to the faith we claim to have in our Lord and Savior as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

And, without a doubt, the very first step is determining that the Lord has called us to stand for the restoration of our marriages, because unless we’re certain of that in our hearts, minds and souls, we’re not likely to have the grace, patience, perseverance, wisdom and strength to stand against everything the world and Satan will throw at us to make us doubt what we’re doing. And the only way to answer that question is through studying the Bible for ourselves, devoting ourselves to prayer and seeking the Lord’s direction and revelation through fasting. While I’m sure there are those who have reached decisions to stand for their marriages without doing that, it is an important foundational step we shouldn’t skip, because doing so makes us more vulnerable to the dangers and pitfalls of deception, doubt, and discouragement, which are Satan’s most powerful and effective weapons of destruction. That’s what Jesus taught us in Luke 6:46-49, when He said “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” So successfully standing for the restoration of our marriages requires a strong foundation of faith and confidence that comes only when we know we are doing what God’s word calls us to do.

And even though it is an unpleasant experience, for those of us who are standing for something other than our first marriages, I actually suggest reading the opinions and rationales of those who think we have no biblical grounds to do so, because that’s the best way to test what we’ve received in our spirit to confirm that we have heard from the Lord. That was a very painful and emotional experience for me personally, because it made me doubt and question everything I had felt led by the Lord to do for so many years. But in the end, it was the best thing I could have done, because once I had the inevitable questions settled in my own heart, mind and soul, once I knew without a doubt that I am doing what the Lord called me to do, NOTHING could move me from the stand I’ve taken for my marriage. Unfortunately, that’s a step many standers won’t take, because they’re afraid of finding out that God might not be calling them to stand for the restoration of their marriages, which is very sad, because it means that obedience to the Lord is not their motive for standing, and they will never have the grace and strength to stand in peace with total trust and confidence in the promises found in the word of God. And Satan will always use the unanswered questions in the back of their minds to torture them with doubt and uncertainty, and James 1:6-8 tells us But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

That’s why it’s SO important to seek the answers we need in the written word and then seek the Lord through prayer and fasting, and THEN LISTEN to hear His answer. With her permission and without giving too many details, one of the FAM members has recently had to come to terms with this in her own situation. She’s standing for what is her first marriage, and her husband’s second; they have a young child together, and she has no reason to believe he had biblical grounds to divorce his first wife and remarry. So she’s been up and down on an emotional roller coaster trying to figure out what she is supposed to do. Then every time she makes a logical decision that she’s NOT supposed to stand for her marriage, the Lord always seems to bring her back to it, which she can’t understand and I can’t explain. Despite his recent remarriage to a third woman, the Lord seemed to be giving her pretty strong confirmation that He’s still calling her to stand for her marriage, which has led us to discuss the issues involved in a lot more depth and detail. And the only explanation I can offer is that we do not know everything God knows and we can’t expect to understand what He’s doing based on our limited human understanding. But she took one last trip around that mountain a few days ago by calling another ministry that makes no exceptions for the recognition of ANY marriage but the first, and she was told that she was never married and that she should go back to her maiden name. Understandably, she was crushed and devastated, but it was the best thing that could have happened to her, because she was finally forced to face and work through the apparent conflict between the written word of God, circumstances as they exist based on her understanding, and what she felt sure in her spirit the Lord was telling her to do. That made her cry out to the Lord even more desperately than before and she now has no doubt that the answer He gave her was to stand for her marriage, so those questions were finally asked and answered and Satan can no longer use that doubt and uncertainty against her. Since she’s absolutely certain she’s heard from the Lord, the only thing for her to do now is to go about living her life as a single mother to the best of her ability, doing what the Lord puts in front of her to do every day, and then leave everything else up to Him. Since she’s a new Christian, my advice is to focus on growing in her walk and relationship with the Lord, being obedient to what she knows the Lord has called her to do and trusting Him with the when, how and wy. For obvious reasons, I often remind her of Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV), because it says Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. The fact is that God knows things we can’t possibly know and if He has called her to stand for her marriage despite the circumstances that seem to indicate she shouldn’t, there must be a reason beyond our ability to understand or explain. She certainly has biblical grounds for release, even without considering her husband’s first marriage, which I’ve actually encouraged her to give a lot of thought and consideration to, but God is telling her something totally different, and that’s what she has to do. Even though the Lord has given me a word of knowledge for women in similar circumstances, He never gave me anything when it came to this woman’s situation. In fact, with one woman, I felt certain she was to stand for her marriage, and then with another, the Lord told me the first time I talked to her that she was standing for the wrong marriage AND that I had to tell her so in that conversation! And that was tough! But she’s now happily raising her kids, with no interest in restoring her first marriage, at peace and content with her life. And, yes, as amazing as it is to believe, she still calls and talks to me even though you’d think she would never talk to me again after telling her that the first time we ever talked! In fact, she called last night to catch me up on how she and the kids are doing. She was able to receive what I told her when we first talked, because what the Lord revealed to me bore witness in her spirit, and she knew it was a word from God, and that’s what gives her the grace and strength now to live her life as a single woman and mother until or unless the Lord brings about some very unexpected changes. So even in the circumstances of these two women, we can see how the Lord worked to lead them into doing something very contrary to their own will, understanding, desires, plans and intentions. And just as with them, most of us can look back at our lives and where we are today and see how the following verses are so true and just confirm that even though man proposes, God disposes!

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Proverbs 20:24
A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?

Proverbs 21:2
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.

Proverbs 21:30
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.

Then once we are convinced that the Lord wants us to stand for the restoration of our marriages, we’ve got to decide once and for all if we really believe the word of God enough to base our eternal lives and hope for salvation on it; to put our hope and confidence in it; and to let it guide and direct us in our daily lives, especially as we take a stand against Satan for our marriages. That means we have to decide whether or not we believe God’s awesome promise in Isaiah 55:10-11, where He said As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. And Isaiah 1:19-20 tells us If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” For the mouth of the LORD has spoken. And Isaiah 40:5 promises And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.” So when we know the Lord has called us to stand for the restoration of our marriages and we’ve decided to put our faith and confidence in the power of God’s word and His faithfulness to bring it to pass, one of the most encouraging verses for all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages has to be Proverbs 16:1, because it says To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. And when we believe that, we’ll have the foundation we need to withstand the floods Satan will bring against us, because we’ll be standing on the rock of Jesus Christ, and the solid foundation we build ONLY by practicing His word.

Posted Thursday, December 7th, 2006 at 11:31 pm in Seeds Of Faith.