One of Satan’s strongest weapons against us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is our failure to overcome totally justified and righteous anger, because we’re so easily deceived into believing that God doesn’t want or expect us to sit by and do nothing. So I can’t count how many times women have very sarcastically and in total disbelief said “So, I’m supposed to sit by, and just let him…blah, blah, blah.” And with VERY few exceptions, the answer is always a resounding “Yes.” Why else would 1 peter 3:5-6 say For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. And let’s not forget exactly WHAT Abraham had asked and expected Sarah to do…to protect HIS hide, when HE was supposed to be the one protecting her! He asked her to hide the fact that she was his wife and he allowed (and probably expected) her to be taken by other men with less than honorable intentions, and for such a despicable deed, he was blessed! And WHY was he blessed? Because of his wife’s total obedience AND her absolute reliance on the Lord to deliver and protect her. Now ladies, it doesn’t get much worse than that! And of all the examples he might have used, that’s the one example God tells us we’re to follow as wives when we’re trying to win over our husbands who don’t believe in the word! So we need to read and learn what happened when Sarah was so faithfully obedient and submissive even when her husband asked her to do something so totally contrary to what she knew the Lord would want or expect in Genesis 12:10-20 and Genesis 20. If ever a woman was justified to feel total betrayal, abandonment, humiliation, devastation, frustration and anger, it was Sarah! And if ever a woman had reason for fear and a righteous reason and justification to tell her husband he was asking too much, it was Sarah! And if ever a woman had more than enough reason to take offense, it was Sarah! Yet she RESPECTFULLY submitted to her husband’s wishes and relied on the Lord to save and protect her, which is a perfect illustration of what Proverbs 3:5-6 really means, when it says Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Even though this is definitely a topic best covered in a book, it’s too important to ignore because of that, so I was very happy to see Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast this morning (and tomorrow), which deals with overcoming offense and how Satan uses it against us. And as the Lord just LOVES to do, it was perfectly timed, because it’s amazing confirmation of a testimony and praise report shared on our private site by one of the FAM members yesterday.

The day before, we had spent quite a bit of time discussing a very serious matter concerning her son and the totally justified and understandable anger she felt about what he was exposed to while spending the weekend with Her husband and the NCP. Sadly that’s an issue many of our ladies have to deal with, so it comes up often, and I tell them just as I told her; the Lord loves her children a lot more than she does, and that HE has the power and ability to protect them and she doesn’t. I told her that’s why the Lord tells us to trust Him with all our hearts and not lean on our own understanding and why He promises that when we acknowledge Him in ALL our ways, HE will take care of the rest. I also pointed out that for all she knew, god was going to use that very thing to break through the veil of deception that Satan is using to lead her husband astray…that we never know what the Lord is doing or how He’s doing it, that we just have to DO what the word tells us to do and leave everything else up to Him. She was very tempted to take her husband to court to establish some kind of restrictions for visitation, but when she asked the Lord what to do, she didn’t hear anything from Him, and agreed that probably meant He didn’t want her to do that. So even though she felt totally justified anger and offense, she chose not to let it lead her into sin. Instead she made a very conscious decision to trust the Lord and believe that HE would protect her children, and she was able to find that place of peace that comes only from resting in the confidence and assurance we have in God and what His word promises. Then the next morning, she ended up being at her desk when she was supposed to be somewhere else; otherwise she would have missed a call from her husband in which the person the day before she thought was happily getting on with his life without her, was very distraught and totally broken, but not ready to tell her why. And it’s amazing how much of what we had talked about the night before played out right down to the smallest detail as she ministered to her husband in genuine love and support, WITHOUT ANY CONDEMNATION at a time of great need for him! Now, that’s God in action!

And then I got a call from another woman with an awesome praise report this afternoon about how the Lord had blessed her when she refused to take offense and insist on what she had every “right” to expect. Last July she asked her husband about paying half of something for their daughter, which he agreed to do, and based on that she went ahead and paid the full amount because it had to be paid by a certain date. But the check he sent was not made out to her. It was made out to the organization she had already paid, so she sent it back and asked him to send another check made out to her. She asked about it one other time, and he said he was sending it, but she never got it. So she decided not to make a big deal about it and we agreed in prayer that the Lord would make up for it, because of her faithfulness and obedience. Well, the first thing that happened was that she got a totally unexpected raise at work! And then she was asked to sing at an event where she got paid half of the money her husband owed her. And today she called to tell me that she had been asked to provide consulting services for a Christian organization, for which they said they would give her a “love offering”. And the amount they gave her was the second half of what her husband owes her! And the exciting thing about that is that she will continue that consulting service once a week for an undetermined time! Who but God could do all that? And I have absolutely NO doubt that NONE of that would have happened if she had held onto her anger and offense (don’t forget he lied and isn’t supporting his daughter, on top of the fact that she was out money she couldn’t afford) instead of making a conscious decision to let it go and trust the Lord!

Then another FAM member posted an awesome praise report and testimony today about how after five years of standing for the restoration of her marriage she was finally beginning to see things turn around, which happened because she learned to be quiet and to stop taking offense. She started PUTTING the biblical principles she was learning into practice, and taking her concerns to the Lord in prayer instead of “nagging” her husband, and God did the rest! The husband who didn’t want anything to do with her when we first met just two months ago, is now enjoying and seeking her company, recently taking her out to dinner twice and on a spur of the moment trip to visit their son, and now the voice on the other end of the phone is like that of a giddy school girl instead of the hurt, confused, angry, resentful and suspicious woman she sounded like not all that long ago! Now that’s God in action!

So learning to overcome totally justified and righteous anger without taking offense is something we really need to devote a lot of time and attention to and do our best to understand, because we’re always going to face offense of some kind, and even more so when going through separation and divorce, especially when an NCP (non-covenant person) is involved. That’s why Luke 17:1 (NKJV) says Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! So we have to rely on the awesome assurance we have in Romans 10:10-11, which says For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” And one of the most important passages for us to study and understand when it comes to dealing with totally justified and understandable anger and refusing even righteous offense is Luke 6:27-42, which says:
27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.
30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.
31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them.
33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that.
34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full.
35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Judging Others
37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
39 He also told them this parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?
40 A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.
41 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

And here are Joyce Meyer’s awesome messages, The Bait of Satan – Part I and The Bait of Satan – Part II, which are very important messages for anyone standing for marriage restoration. So listen to them carefully and be blessed and encouraged!

Posted Thursday, December 14th, 2006 at 11:27 pm in Seeds Of Faith.