Overcoming Self-Condemnation
One of the most important and difficult things to accomplish when initially ministering to women standing for marriage restoration is convincing them to stop focusing on what their husbands have done (and are doing) wrong long enough to see what they did and are still doing to contribute to the demise of their marriages. But as Satan usually manages to do with all of us, he doesn’t pass up any opportunity to bring self-condemnation once our eyes are opened to our own faults and failures, which is why I REALLY appreciated Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message so much this morning.
While Jesus tells us to deal with our own sin, faults and mistakes before worrying about those of others (Matthew 7:3-5), We also have to love and forgive ourselves the same way we do others, which is why it’s so important to take to heart what Jesus said in Matthew 22:36-40, which says “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Simply and incredibly put, Jesus was telling us that ALL of the rewards, blessings, provisions and protection promised in the Bible hinge on and are summed up in those two commandments, which obviously means we should pay them a whole LOT more attention than we tend to. Yet, when most people summarize what Jesus said, they just say the part about loving the Lord with all our hearts, souls and minds, and loving our neighbors, leaving off the part about as we love ourselves.. But Jesus in His infinite and perfect wisdom, new that without loving ourselves, it is not possible to truly love others. And based on 1 John 4:16, we know that without God it’s not possible to love at all, because it says And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. And as incredible as it is, 1 John 4:10 says This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. That means that loving God requires us to first accept that He loved us enough to send His son as a sacrifice to atone for our sin, which makes perfect sense, because we know that’s the FIRST step of salvation! Yet so many people struggle with really accepting the literal consequences of Jesus’ sacrifice when Satan is trying to steal their peace, joy and victory, even though that’s the very thing they HAD to believe to become a Christian in the first place. That’s why I some times offend women who have such a difficult time with forgiveness and struggle so much with issues of self-condemnation, by asking them to revisit and consider whether or not they’re really saved. Because if we truly believe, understand and accept that Jesus shed His precious and sinless blood at Calvary for the remission and forgiveness of our sin, which is required for salvation, we have no reason to feel condemnation for something Jesus died to cover in His atoning blood. If we accept and acknowledge the sacrifice, how can we then reject its purpose?
So the first step to overcoming self-condemnation is understanding and accepting the blood sacrifice of our Lord and Savior and then applying it and allowing it to cleanse away ALL of the guilt and shame, regret, sorrow and remorse we feel over our sin. Then it’s not so easy to accept self-condemnation for what we know Jesus died to atone for. And receiving and experiencing the awesome grace and mercy of our Lord and Savior is what teaches us to love Him with all our hearts, souls and minds, and that makes it very difficult to then fail to extend the same grace and mercy to those who hurt and disappoint us, which makes it a lot easier to love them as we love ourselves, as Jesus commanded us to do. The following verses are just a few that help us gain a better understanding of God’s love and how it works in our lives to bring deliverance, salvation and restoration:
Ephesians 2:3-5
All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
Joel 2:13
Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.
Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”
Romans 8:39
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” —
Hebrews 6:10
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.
1 John 4:9
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
And living through Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to really have the abundant life John 10:10 says He came to give us. And 1 Peter 5:10 (AMP) even tells us And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you. So it ALWAYS comes back to our willingness and determination to submit and surrender our own will and ways to be good FROGs, FULLY RELIANT ON GOD, and that’s for EVERYTHING, including the changes we know He wants to make in us. That’s why I really appreciated Joyce’s message, Are You Offending Yourself? – Part I, so much this morning. She talked about something we hardly ever hear about, and that’s not offending our own spirit, which IS exactly what we do when we accept condemnation instead of the love, power, mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. So please listen to it, especially if Satan has been stealing the peace, joy and victory Jesus came to give you, and be blessed and encouraged!