In the past few days, the Lord has brought it to my attention that we probably need to revisit the “basics” of marriage restoration more often than we tend to, and there’s nothing more basic or more important when standing for the restoration of our marriages than having the confidence that comes with the knowledge that it’s what God wants us to do. And even though most of us might not struggle with “hearing” from God about standing for the restoration of our marriages and families, many people do; particularly new Christians. And some of the terminology we use just adds to the confusion, especially when we say things like “God told me to stand for my marriage.” Or “I know God called me to stand for my marriage.” And we often tell people they need to “hear from God”. But sometimes that causes new Christians standing for marriage restoration to doubt or question what they’re doing because they think they have to hear the audible voice of God, or that we experienced some kind of amazing supernatural communication from the Lord telling us that He was going to restore our marriages. And while some standers are blessed to have testimonies like that, more than likely, it WON’T happen that way to most of us.

Even though this is not a very complicated issue for those standing for the restoration of first marriages, it’s not so simple for those who are standing for a subsequent marriage, and ignoring or denying that accomplishes no good purpose. Yet, because it is not what some of us want to hear, it’s often swept under the carpet or not addressed at all. Or it’s discussed in vague terms intended to leave the interpretation open to meet the desires and needs of those who hear it. Sadly, that’s exactly what 2 Timothy 4:3 foretold, because it says For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. But if we believe what John 8:31-32 tells us, we know that’s not in our best interest when we really want to hear from God and we’re seeking the truth because it says To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” So perhaps the reason we don’t revisit the “basics” very often is because even though it is very good news for many, we know it could be painful or discouraging for others. But the bottom line for all of us is that whatever we do, it must be based on what the Bible teaches because God will NEVER call us to do something contrary to His written word, and we’ll never hear anything from Him that is contrary to what is written in the Bible. So even though I feel led to share this message to provide assurance and encouragement for those standing for the restoration of their first marriages, it’s not possible to do that without at least acknowledging how it may impact anyone standing for subsequent marriages. So I pray for the Lord to speak and minister to all of us through the power of His word and the power of the Holy Spirit as we examine what His word teaches us about how He views marriage and divorce, and how we can be certain that He WILL stand with us against the forces of hell for the restoration of our marriages, and that it does NOT take a supernatural experience to KNOW that God hates divorce and that it is always His will to see our covenant marriages restored.

First, we need to understand what Jesus taught about God’s plan and intention concerning marriage and divorce, as he very clearly stated and revealed in Matthew 19:1-9:
When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

While Jesus made God’s position on marriage and divorce so clear and simple in the above verses, it has still become a matter of great controversy and conflict in the Christian church today, even though the following verses make it just as clear that God HAS NOT changed his mind (AND NEVER WILL) about marriage and divorce, regardless of ANY other scripture, because NO passage of scripture can EVER be interpreted to mean something totally contrary to another passage:

Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Numbers 23:19
God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

1 Samuel 15:29
He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind.”

James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Obviously, from the very beginning, AND NOW, God intended the marriage relationship to be a “one flesh” covenant relationship, that a man and a woman would forsake their mothers and fathers to be joined together and that they are then NO LONGER TWO, but one, AND He said that NO MAN or woman SHOULD SEPARATE them after that union. Period! That means that NO wisdom, NO plan, NO insight, and NO law or judge can succeed against the will of God and separate or put asunder what HE has joined together in marriage. So that should be enough to settle once and for all the question of God’s will and make it clear that He would always want us to stand for the restoration of our covenant marriages; meaning that’s a question we don’t even have to ask. There’s also no doubt that God commands us to forgive the sin of adultery instead of using our spouses’ unfaithfulness to justify divorce. And we know God hates divorce and the terrible pain and devastation it causes because Malachi 2:15-16 (NKJV) declares:
But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
Not only does that confirm what Jesus said about the one flesh relationship of marriage; it also graphically illustrates God’s understanding of the violent harm caused by the agonizing pain of marital separation and when marriages and families are put asunder by divorce, which is why He says He hates divorce and warns us against committing such treachery. Malachi 2:13-14 also demonstrates the VERY strong stand God takes AGAINST divorce and those who divorce their spouses, and how we CAN count on HIM to act as THE witness on our behalf because it says Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. So let’s not forget the awesome promise we have in Romans 8:31, which says What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?…because God’s quite obviously NOT on the side of anyone seeking or causing divorce!

So when we truly understand God’s plan and intention for marriage as a one flesh and life long covenant relationship, how much He HATES divorce and that HE is the one acting as the witness to our marriage vows as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, we will have the confidence we need to trust and rely on God to do everything He promises in the following verses:

John 14:13
And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.

John 15:7
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

John 16:23
In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

Then in addition to knowing that we’re in the will of God, which IS a requirement for asking something in the name of Jesus, when we decide to stand for the restoration of our marriages, the following verses assure us of His power and ability to bring His will to pass:

Isaiah 55:10-11
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Isaiah 46:10-11
I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.

While all of the above passages of Scripture are sure to provide great encouragement for anyone standing for the restoration of a covenant marriage (first marriage for both husband and wife), they might well be disheartening and discouraging words for someone standing for the restoration of a marriage not meeting that criteria. But no matter how painful or difficult it is, these ARE matters we each have to address in our own relationship and communion with the Lord as we spend time seriously studying His Word.

While there are many questions and controversies that could easily be covered here, the important point is that God always wants covenant marriages to be restored and He hates divorce, so it doesn’t take some kind of supernatural word from Him to know that He wants us to stand for our covenant marriages. And when we take a stand for something we know is in keeping with His written word, we have absolute assurance that God will stand with us and bring His word and will to pass. Additionally, if the marriage we’re standing for is not our first, when we diligently seek the Lord, He WILL answer us and give us the answers we need when we read His written Word.

Since last Friday’s message from Marsha Burns seems so appropriate to include here, I hope you’ll be blessed and encouraged by it:
December 22, 2006: Let your heart be prepared to always have a hearty “amen and amen” to My word, to My instructions, and to My wisdom, says the Lord. Never hesitate to accept My truth and guidance even when your circumstances seem to be beyond help. The difficulty of a situation never alters truth, nor does it negate My word or power to bring you through. Refuse to allow fear or discouragement to cause your faith to be ineffective.
2 Corinthians 1:20 For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.
You can read Small Straws by Marsha Burns at the above link or sign up to receive her messages by email each day.

Posted Tuesday, December 26th, 2006 at 11:47 am in Seeds Of Faith.