While most of us in the FAM Fellowship are practically speechless as we witness the miraculous power of God at work in the lives and marriages of our members, there are some VERY important lessons to learn from what we’re seeing take place in our midst. And despite not being able to give them all the in depth attention they merit, I want to highlight three of them.

First, each of our members who have seen the amazing breakthroughs and even restored relationships and marriages, made a determined decision to be obedient to the one and ONLY clear and specific instruction we have from God about what we’re supposed to do when our spouses want to leave us. And that’s the instruction in 1 Corinthians 7:15, which says But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. Even though it’s contrary to the teaching most prevalent in today’s churches, I have NO doubt that does NOT mean that we’re free to just forget about our spouses and get on with our lives by marrying someone else. To accept that means we have to ignore the very next verse; assuming that even though it’s there, it doesn’t really mean anything, because it says How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? And what could we be saving them from if not the consequences and devastation the Bible teaches result from dishonoring our marriage vows and failing to live with each other in accordance with God’s commands. It also means that we don’t take Malachi 2:10-17 or 1 Peter 3:7 seriously; implying that even though that’s what God wrote, that’s not what He really meant. Well, I happen to think God absolutely means EVERY Word written in the Bible and I believe Jesus meant it literally when He said that man does not live by bread alone but by EVERY word that comes from the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4! And Isaiah 55:8-11 assures us that His thoughts and ways are not our thoughts and ways and that His words do not return void or empty,; that they accomplish what He desires and they achieve the purpose for which He sent them. So when we refuse to accept the world’s interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:15 and stand in faith for the restoration of our marriages, relying on the supernatural power of God Almighty, we are in very good company, because OUR thoughts and ways are lining up with the Word of God instead of the way of the world! BUT we aren’t TRULY standing in accordance with the WISDOM and Word of God UNLESS we let our spouses depart when they want to leave, and seek to live in peace with them and ourselves. And if the events of the past couple of weeks in this ministry have taught us anything, proven it in fact, it’s how faithful and quick the Lord is to respond and act on our behalf when we are obedient to His instruction and LET OUR SPOUSES GO! And letting them go does NOT mean we’re giving up on our marriages! Quite the contrary; it’s recognizing that there is NOTHING we can do to change our spouses’ hearts or minds, but that when we ACT in accordance with what God’s Word tells us, we can rest in ABSOLUTE confidence that He will then bring the restoration of our marriages to pass, because He HATES divorce and He promises to REPAY the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:23-27)! And that’s ACTIVE faith!

Then another VERY important principle we’re seeing at work in the ministry was well expressed by one of the FAM members who recently posted the following message on the men’s private site:

God is working and what rejoicing there will be!! I was thinking this morning how easy it is to see the hope in others’ marriage restoration but how we sometimes close our eyes and not focus on what God is doing in our own marriages. How plain it was for me to see the work God is doing in Peter’s restoration or Don’s – even though Don and Peter were reluctant to get too excited about the responses of their spouses. So I had to stop and ask forgiveness this morning for not giving God glory for what He is doing in my own restoration process. Yesterday I had emailed my wife to tell her Happy Birthday and that I had tried to arrange a massage for her but because of the distance it just didn’t work out yet. Anyway, she emailed me back – which she didn’t have to do. The plot thickens! She told me that one of her patience had died yesterday but she had spent time talking to the wife. She told me that they had a really good talk and that the couple had been married for 72 years. At first I overlooked that comment but then God shook me and said – don’t you get it? I am working here!! That was no coincidence that I hooked her up with this woman. Now, I know nothing about the woman’s spiritual life but I do know that God was using her regardless. Normally I would not share this as a praise because I would not have seen it as that. So my point is, as easy as it is to recognize God working in other’s situations, I pray that each of us will be mindful of the “little” things God is trying to show us in our own stand. God does not give false hope; that comes from the enemy. So we should give thanks for all and any confirmation/affirmation that He gives us as we stand for Him and our marriages. May God bless you all and continue to grow you in the Spirit.

It’s no surprise that Dan’s post received quite a bit of positive and appreciative response from the other members, because for some reason it IS so much easier to see what God is doing in someone else’s lives than our own, so we really do need to start LOOKING for His hand at work in the restoration of our marriages! After all Colossians 4:2 tells us Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And in Matthew 9:29, Jesus told us …”According to your faith will it be done to you” So we have to literally change our mindset from looking for the negatives and accepting them as truth instead of mere facts, giving them a lot more weight than they merit, to looking for and giving thanks for the positives, NO matter how small or insignificant they may seem! When we honestly understand and believe that marriage restoration IS God’s will and plan, and realize that There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD., as Proverbs 21:30 tells us, then we will start looking for the evidence that confirms and affirms that, just like Dan said! And that’s ACTIVE faith!

The third principle we’ve seen so strongly affirmed in the ministry, especially over the past week, is how important it is to share the word of our testimonies and praise reports with others, and to realize that God is not working in our lives just to make us feel good. Everything God does is ultimately for the glory of His Son, Jesus Christ, and when we realize that God wants to use us and the work He is doing in and through us to minister to others in similar situations and start doing that, we release God’s supernatural power as little else seems to do. And the following stats are the best evidence of that. There are currently 56 registered FAM Fellowship members, but only 21 members have posted their information to be included on our prayer list, and out of those, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, the ones who are the most active on the sites, faithfully supporting and ministering to the other members through words of encouragement and prayers, have ALL seen encouraging changes in their relationships with their spouses, and several have had very significant breakthroughs in the past couple of weeks, including one totally unexpected restoration when a husband just came home. And I fully expect to hear at least two or three more restored marriage testimonies in the coming weeks! So, even though it is often used in regard to tithes and offerings, the meaning of Luke 6:38 is MUCH broader, saying Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” And there’s NO doubt we’ve seen that proven in the FAM Fellowship in the past couple of weeks! So if someone comes to a marriage restoration ministry just for what they can get out of it, they will probably be VERY disappointed. But when we get involved in ministries so we can minister to others, and when we have a genuine desire to live for the glory of our Lord and Savior, we WILL se GREAT and MIGHTY things, which we do not and can not know or understand! And the following testimony posted by one of our members (name withheld) this morning, certainly illustrates the power and promise of ACTIVE faith we’ve witnessed the past week or so! So read it, learn from it, and be blessed and encouraged by it!

“Yep, you’re right, it’s another praise report. As most of you know, I am a prodigal turned stander and have been standing for 6 years. However, out of those 6 years, I have only been standing properly for about a year.
On January 1st of THIS YEAR, my husband declared that he had feelings for a co-worker. As a prodigal with no room to judge, I immediately gave him my forgiveness and he was floored; thanking me for showing him mercy. I reminded him that my mercy was God’s mercy and since that time, I have seen significant softening in my husband’s heart towards me. I posted a praise report several weeks ago after my husband complimented me, and I am reporting now that he is continuing to praise me; thanking me for how well I take care of him; calling me a good and godly woman. I couldn’t ask for a greater compliment. We all want to be men and women of God and we want that affirmation from our families. Praise God, because not only has my husband begun praising me, but the physical affection is returning. The other night, I got a back rub for the first time in 6 years! My husband has been dancing with me as he used to do in the beginning of our marriage and he now tucks me in at night and kisses the top of my head. He has even agreed to take over the finances because he doesn’t want me to be overwhelmed.
Two and a half years ago I gave my engagement ring to a friend as a symbol to God that I was surrendering my marriage to Him and as an expression that I would put God first in my life. Lately, I have had it in my heart to get my ring back and after consulting some very wise ladies, I did so. But I was not prepared for what happened when I went to visit my friend, who I had not seen for over a year. She and I had gone to the same church; however, neither she nor the pastor agreed with my stand. They thought I was not reading the handwriting on the wall and that I should give up. Well, she saw God’s light in me; she saw the joy I had because of my relationship with God, which was a testimony in itself, because I had suffered deep sadness in the past. As a result of my sharing with her my own stand and also sharing with her about the FAM fellowship, she asked me if I would be willing to give my testimony before the pastor and the entire church-and this before my restoration is made completely manifested! She also asked me if I would come and do a day or weekend seminar with the women about faith, the biblical principles of restoration and what it means to be a surrendered wife-PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!!
After reflecting on that experience, I came to the conclusion that I could not wait for the moment when my husband tells me that he wants to renew our vows, before sharing my praise with this fellowship. I declare the truth of God that he is restoring my marriage right now and it is my prayer that my husband and I will renew our vows this summer after having God work to renew our physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy. I now have my engagement ring on my finger, and I have written a love note to my husband today letting him know that I had dishonored the promise of love with which I received that ring. I affirmed in my note that it is a new day and that I cherish that promise, that love and the man who offered it to me. I also let him know that I value my own promise of love for him. I trust God that as I continue to praise him for his commitment to my husband and me, my restoration is soon coming. As Marsha Burns said in her message…I continue to praise and thank God for those small openings and I trust that very soon the dam will break and my husband and I will again lay complete claim to each other with God being the center of who we are and how we live.
I thank God for delivering me from the darkness of my sin; the darkness of the abuse I both suffered and afflicted on others. I thank God for his gift of joy, which is not dependent on the restoration of my marriage. My joy comes from being personally and intimately loved by my God. I’m crying right now because as Psalm 116:12 says, “How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?” The next 2 verses have the answer; “I will lift up the cup of salvation for others to see…I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.”
Everyone, I want to tell you that this is not just about our marriages and families being healed. We all need to get it deep within ourselves that God delights in us and rejoices over us. It’s about being made whole and complete by the love of God and seeing how our wholeness translates into our marriages and families and to others who are hurting and need that same relationship with God; people who need hope. I can’t bear the thought that others are moving throughout life without the love and hope of God. Imagine how God feels then. As God restores us personally and moves to restore our families, our mission field is before us. We are all called to move among believers and unbelievers, sharing our incredible testimony and praise. So I pray that I will get into that regular habit of praising him.”

Posted Wednesday, February 28th, 2007 at 11:26 pm in Seeds Of Faith.