Walking in the Power of Humility to Avoid the Consequences of Pride and Offense
One of the most important biblical principles we have to master as we stand for marriage restoration is the amazing power of humility and the disastrous consequences and results when we allow our words and actions to be dictated by pride and offense. Most standers have to admit that allowing their pride and natural defense mechanisms to control the way they responded when hurt and offended by the actions of their spouses, only made their situations a LOT worse, and NEVER better. In fact, many of the men and women I’ve talked to actually admit that it literally drove their spouses right into the arms of the other person. So it’s very important for us to study what the Bible teaches about the power of humility and the disastrous and destructive consequences of pride and responding in our flesh when we have been offended.
A very powerful testimony illustrating these principles was posted on the private fellowship site this past weekend. A few weeks ago one of the FAM Fellowship members asked for my advice concerning a situation she wasn’t sure how to deal with. She had been asked to take over as choir director at the church she joined after her husband left, because he was a pastor and their church went under. But the interim choir director seemed to be very unhappy with those arrangements and did everything in her power to create problems. At the point of our discussion, they had been in a meeting with the pastor without resolving anything and the other woman had circulated something untrue about her, and she had written a letter to send to everyone concerned in the matter; vindicating herself and setting the record straight. She hadn’t done anything to the woman and nothing she tried to do to resolve the conflict was working, and she was at a loss to know what to do. Little did she know how much like a situation from my past that reminded me of, in which I did not have the wisdom to handle things any differently than she was handling her situation, with disastrous consequences for me and a lot of other people, which I greatly regret even to this day! So I asked her not to make the same mistake I had made and to humble herself under the mighty hand of God, trusting that HE would lift her up in due time (1 Peter 5:5-8). And I reminded her of the many scripture verses that tell us to be peace makers, seek peace and to even pursue peace; and that the Bible also tells us to bless those who curse us, so I said “So, why don’t you send her some flowers instead?” We also talked about pride and how it was one of Satan’s favorite and most effective weapons, and how he especially LOVES to mess up churches through music! And I told her that I thought this was a unique opportunity for her to lead by example. Needless to say, she was not feeling all warm and fuzzy about my counsel at that moment! But the Holy Spirit must have confirmed it to her later, because the testimony she posted this weekend told of how God worked when she submitted to doing things HIS way instead of following the dictates of her flesh. She didn’t have a chance to get flowers, but bought a flower pin for the woman instead, and gave it to her all wrapped up with hearts and a card that said “Blessed are the peace makers.” She said there was no real indication of a reaction when she gave her the gift; not even much of an acknowledgement of it at the time. I bet she was thinking what a stupid idea it was! But the next week at practice, the woman came running up to her and gave her a big hug AND kiss and asked her to ride with her to the drugstore after practice, and even offered to take her out to lunch! They had a great time together and talked about going shopping; even took pictures of themselves together!!! Now, who could change a heart like that other than God? And ever since that time, they have had no problems in choir practice and every time the other woman sees her, she runs to give her a hug and kiss. Needless to say, that outcome was not possible without obedience to what the Word teaches us, and there’s NO telling what would have happened if she had continued on the path she had already started down to defend herself! That’s a very powerful lesson, and one the member said she’ll NEVER forget! When we DO things according to God’s wisdom and instruction – HE steps in and works through supernatural power on our behalf! If Jesus Christ didn’t defend Himself, we shouldn’t think it’s right or necessary to defend ourselves, even when we’re totally right and the other person is totally wrong. And the example the Bible tells us to follow is found in 1 Peter 2:21-25, which says To this you were called, be
cause Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. We HAVE to trust God to make the wrongs done to us right, and the ONLY way to make sure He will do that is to walk in HIS ways. When we DO things God’s way, we get God’s results; when we do things the world’s way, we get the world’s results…and none of us want the world’s results! So the following verses teach and remind us of God’s way, and when we put them into practice, we won’t be able to help being blessed and encouraged!
Proverbs 17:9
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
Proverbs 19:11
A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Isaiah 44:22
I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.”
Matthew 18:35 (AMP)
So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.
Luke 7:23 (AMP)
And blessed (happy– with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, apart from outward conditions–and to be envied) is he who takes no offense in Me and who is not hurt or resentful or annoyed or repelled or made to stumble [ whatever may occur].
Luke 17:4 (AMP)
And even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and turns to you seven times and says, I repent [I am sorry], you must forgive him (give up resentment and consider the offense as recalled and annulled).
Acts 24:16 (AMP)
Therefore I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men.
James 1:19 (AMP)
Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.
1 Peter 4:8 (AMP)
Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].
Leviticus 26:19
I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze.
Psalm 10:4
In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 13:10
Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 29:23
A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.
Psalm 18:27
You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.
Psalm 25:9
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
Psalm 147:6
The LORD sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground.
Isaiah 29:19
Once more the humble will rejoice in the LORD; the needy will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.
Matthew 11:29
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 18:4
Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 23:12
For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.
Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
James 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:10
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
The following messages from Creflo Dollar are two of the best messages I’ve ever heard on the topic of pride and just what it means, so you will definitely benefit and be blessed by listening to them and maybe even several times!