One of the most persistent challenges when standing for marriage restoration is recognizing and overcoming unforgiveness, which is like a poison pill to the restoration of our marriages. Most people standing for marriage restoration seem pretty sure they’ve forgiven their spouses, and often have a very difficult time admitting it’s an issue, even after saying or doing something proving otherwise. But if we’re still offended, hurt, or experience an emotional reaction to something, we have not forgiven it, according to God’s standards for forgiveness. And we know that based on the following verses:

Hebrews 8:12 – For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

Psalm 103:12 – For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Isaiah 43:25 – “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.

How incredible it is that the Lord tells us that it is for HIS OWN SAKE that He remembers our sins no more! And surely if it is something the Lord does for His own sake, we should understand that it’s for our own sake that we need to forgive others, especially our spouses with whom we are one flesh. And even more importantly, there are many verses that make it very clear that God forgives us ONLY AS we forgive others, such as the following:

Luke 11:4 – Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation. ‘”

Matthew 6:14-15 – For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Luke 6:37 – “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

And that point is certainly difficult to miss or ignore based on what Jesus said in the parable of The Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18:21-35.

Then, in addition to restating the point that the Lord forgives us only as we forgive others, Mark 11:24-25 gives us another very important reason to guard our hearts against unforgiveness, because it says Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Obviously, there’s a direct connection between how the Lord responds to our prayers and a lack of forgiveness in our hearts. The Lord expects us to SEEK forgiveness as well as give it, which we know based on Matthew 5:23-24, because it says “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

And what a powerful verse Luke 7:47 is for all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, because it says Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” And this is not the only place we see love and forgiveness going hand in hand, because in describing love, 1 Corinthians 13:5 says It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Ouch…that “keeps no record of wrongs” part is a really tough one, yet that’s exactly what true forgiveness and unconditional love requires!

I was talking to one of the FAM Fellowship members last Thursday night, who was surprised when I told her it sounded like she hadn’t forgiven her husband, because she honestly believed that she had. But when I reminded her of something she said, she realized that she hadn’t really forgiven him. When we harbor unforgiveness in our hearts, even on a subconscious level, it WILL come out sooner or later, and more than likely at the worst possible moment! From our hearts our mouths speak, so when we have unforgiveness in our hearts, it WILL eventually come out, no matter how hard we try to hide it. Luke 6:45 says The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. And just as He so often does, the Lord was ever so faithful to confirm much of what we discussed that night in Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message the next morning. And since it was the second part of the message from Thursday, which I missed, I listen to that one too. They are both excellent messages about forgiveness, so I hope everyone will take the time to listen to
Put An End To Emotional Torment – Part I and Put An End To Emotional Torment – Part II.

Then Dr. Charles Stanley’s TV broadcast message from Sunday was an excellent message about forgiveness and restoration too, so listen to Bearing Each Other’s Burdens. And using his Sermon Outline will make following his message a lot easier. So as we listen to these great messages, we need to ask the Lord to help reveal any areas of unforgiveness, because when we truly forgive, we’re the ones who are really blessed and encouraged!

Posted Monday, April 23rd, 2007 at 9:47 pm in Seeds Of Faith.