Taking a Stand for Jesus!
One of the most important things we have to get straight in our own hearts and minds when making a decision to stand for the restoration of our marriages is exactly why we’re standing. Most people initially answer the why question saying how much they love their spouse and how they just couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, or that they don’t believe in divorce. And those are all natural and understandable reasons to stand for the restoration of our marriages, but they probably aren’t good enough to endure everything that comes against us as we stand, including the passing of time and everything else that makes marriage restoration look impossible. Most standers started out standing for those exact reasons, but most of us eventually came to recognize that the only way to experience peace, strength, joy and victory in the Lord, while standing for the restoration of our marriages is by putting our faith and confidence in Jesus Christ, as we learn to walk in obedience to His Word, and stand for HIS Glory!
So we can certainly relate to 1 Peter 2:9, which says But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. And what encouragement and assurance we have in Isaiah 42:16, where God says I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
However, really understanding John 15:1-8 is vitally important as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, because it says “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
This must be a message the Lord REALLY wanted to get across, because He laid it on the hearts of two of our members, who posted the following messages on the private websites last Friday afternoon and evening, without knowing the other had done so! So I thank the following FAM Fellowship members for allowing me to share their posts and responses here, because they certainly glorify the Lord and hold the key to being blessed and encouraged as we stand for the restoration of our marriages!
While feeling depressed and down last night, I decided to sit down and make a list of how God has been there for me over the past eighteen months. In the beginning it seemed I could not think of too many things. But once I got started, the list began to grow and I was truly amazed how God had given me so many opportunities to grow in Him. But that could be a whole other post! The common theme that summed up my list was my relationship with Jesus Christ, and I looked back at how my life and attitude toward my stand had changed over that period of time.
Originally I had focused my stand on what it would do for me (my selfishness), what I was missing and how my life and the life of my kids would be affected forever. I never thought the word divorced would describe me! How could this happen to people who were Christians and lived a “good” life? I even unloaded my self-righteous attitude onto my wife. For a period of time I let Satan control my thoughts and actions and did not give God the chance to intervene. My commitment to my marriage was not for the right reasons, although I loved my wife immensely.
Yes, I do love my wife and want to spend the rest of my life with her. What is more, I know that is what God wants for us also. The more I have grown in my relationship with Christ, the more important my remaining faithful to my marriage vows becomes, but not for my original reasons. The covenant marriage created by God should be stood for so that Jesus might be glorified. His faithfulness should be honored and praised; His power, grace and mercy should be magnified and proclaimed. He has helped me to have the unconditional love for my wife that He has for me; no matter what I did or said, He was right there with me at all times. He never gave up on me. And I must show the same kind of love to my wife.
So my faith is a powerful witness to others, especially to my wife and kids. Living for God has given me an inner peace that I did not have before. May our stand glorify God and may we be powerful witnesses to our families and those around us who are watching our situations. May we all be blessed as we stand with God for our marriages, and look forward to the future, when we are worshipping and praying with our spouses at our side!!
Isaiah 43:19 (NLT)
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
Philippians 3:13-14 (NLT)
13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,
14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Response by Linda Wattu on June 9th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Dan, this is such an important message! there’s no way we can stand victoriously for our marriages when we’re doing it for the wrong reasons, and the ONLY reason that pleases God is the glory of His beloved Son, Jesus Christ! And there’s NOTHING God won’t do for the glory of Jesus! And when we demonstrate that we will give Him the glory for the little things He does for us, which we do by sharing His praises and ministering support and encouragement (comfort) to others, He will most certainly move more quickly on our behalf! Why would He delay any glory for Jesus?! He wouldn’t!
Response by Janet in Maryland on June 9th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
Dan, God has done a mighty work in you. He is well aware of how much you have grown in Him, and He will certainly reward you for your love for Him and your obedience.
He sees you ministering to others and I know he is pleased. I am sure you also know how much we love you and are here for you too. May God continue to bless you as He works on the complete restoration of your marriage. Janet
Response by Diane on June 9th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Thanks for this, Dan. It is so true; our stand is for the Glory of Jesus and there is no glory in divorce. You have grown so much in the past few months and it is my honor to be a witness to what God has done in you and for you. Keep it up; God will use you mightily and other people will be blessed by it. God will do this for us all. He has given us His promise and He does not lie. Stay encouraged, as you always encourage me. Hang in there and glad to hear the Dan we have grown to love back. Thank you, Lord. All glory to YOU. Diane
Response by Paula on June 9th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
Dan, you are right! It is all about God and bringing Him glory in every aspect of our lives. I thank God for the opportunities I’ve had to share with others who were separated or on the brink of divorce, and encourage them to give God a chance in their lives. I find so much peace in helping others. My husband was a pastor and many people knew us back then and some of them know I am standing now (I don’t discuss it with nay sayers), and one recently said “I admire you and what you’re doing, because I don’t know if I could.” I quickly reminded her that it wasn’t me, but God’s grace and mercy giving me the strength to walk out my calling. Our stand is a testament to others of the power of God to live above the ways of the world. Thanks for reminding us all of that in your post. I could relate to a lot of what you said. As my stand continues, the reasons change as well.
Response by Fran on June 10th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Dan, I think your sentiment describes a lot of us. I’ve been standing for quite a while, although I’ve only been a part of FAM for a short while. In the beginning, I was so full of pride about being separated and the thought of divorce. That is definitely not God glorifying. We are getting out of our stands just what God intends. He allowed our circumstances for these very reasons. We are growing closer and closer to Him each and every day, with each and every test or trial. Stay encouraged. God is not finished with us yet. Fran
Response by Thursa on June 11th, 2007 at 10:45 am
I received an email from a friend who I had shared my husband’s homecoming with because she’s been there standing with me, and she responded by saying “Of course he’s home. Our purpose is to glorify God. Divorce does not glorify God, but the power and gift of restoration does!” God WILL use us and our testimonies to show His glory! It is our hope and faith that sustains us and helps us to persevere. We set our eyes to God and know He will restore us! We delight ourselves in Him and He will give us our hearts desires!!
This weekend I heard over and over about not being put to shame. Psalm 25:3 “No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.” Our hope and faith is in our God and He will NOT put us to shame, He will let His glory shine brightly in us and our restorations!!!
While reading these scriptures today, I really feel the lord speaking directly to me: Philippians 3:12-4:1 (NIV)
I have been a born again Christian since August of 2005. However, just as stated in verse 12, Christ Jesus took hold of me in October of 2005 and the “light came on.” That was the day that God spoke to me through another stander in another state, who knew nothing about me. In HIS perfect timing (when I really needed it), he gave her a vision of a field of daisies to give to me. There is no way this woman would have known daisies are my favorite flower and that I would take a daisy over a diamond ring. That was my turning point.
But it’s been a struggle for me to take hold of what God’s word is telling me. This is where I truly believe the ill effects of past wrong decisions sometimes hinder me now. I have a tough time remembering what I am being taught in HIS word- His manuscript-my life line- my Bible. However, God knows my struggle to remember. He knows that I am pressing on day to day; pressing toward the goal; the prize (my daisies, the restoration of my family). But most importantly, my life; to live eternally with my heavenly father.
As I look back now almost 2 years ago, when God placed me on this journey (some of my fleshly decisions also helped place me here), I see that I have learned so much. The learning has allowed me to live out today, tomorrow and years to come; little by little, still searching for HIS truth, because I know I am to live by what HE has taught me from my “yesterdays.”
In verse 13, it is written that we are to forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead. Forgetting failures, and knowing that I have now learned from my yesterdays, helps me forget my past, and now I am living a much more fulfilling life than I ever could have asked for. Not only has it helped me individually with certain issues, but it has also helped me with things that I used to hold against my husband. I CHOOSE to forget my spouse’s wrong doings, because I know God wants me to leave them behind. No, it has not always been easy to do, but after doing it day by day, it ends up becoming a very natural thing.
God is instructing us to join with others in following HIS example and that is exactly what we are doing here in this ministry. We are here to help each other learn HIS ways and to STAND FIRM in his WORD. By standing firm with each and every one of you as I learn, “WE” learn his powerful and miraculous ways.
Blessings and Love to each and every one of you. Jenn
Response by Paula on June 8th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
Jenn, our pastor preached from this text on Sunday. How appropriate. It is important for us to keep moving forward and not looking back. We can’t change or erase the past, but I often think of what God said about Job and that is “latter end was better than his beginning.” God has a way of rewarding us beyond our imagination for pressing forward in Him. He honors our commitment to him and our marriages. DO you know how much that pleases God! Many of the things you’ve shared have been my struggle too. The Lord has used Linda to help me see the areas that I need to improve and work on, and even in that, it’s a forward move, because I’m striving daily to be what God wants me to be. My actions helped me to be where I am too, and Satan loves to remind me. But, I’m going to learn how to consistently take those thoughts captive. You know Psalms talks about how our days were ordained and planned before we were even born. So now, even in this, I am still in God’s perfect will and his plan. And it is in this trial God will perfect that which concerns us. Isn’t that great news? Grace and Peace to you, Jenn, and thanks so much for sharing this message with the FAM family tonight.
Response by Diane on June 9th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Yes, Jenn, thanks for sharing. I often recite that verse of forgetting what lies behind and pushing forward to what Jesus has for me. We all have the same struggles to overcome and the good news is that with God all things are possible. He strengthens us to be able to do this. Thank you for this post. It touched me to remember this verse again today and let go of yesterday and look to what God has planned for me today. Be blessed. Diane
Response by Dan on June 9th, 2007 at 11:42 am
I meet a group for breakfast every morning, and they don’t understand my stand, but I don’t care. Anyway, I walk to and from breakfast, about a mile and a half each way. This morning I sang on the way home – “it just doesn’t matter” until the scriptures just poured out. God has things under control, His plans cannot be thwarted, and good things are going to happen for me from being obedient, having faith, believing and praising God. I know God knows what I have done, what my wife has done, and it just doesn’t matter to Him; He wants us restored and healed and He will not stop until that is where He has us. Thanks ladies! I praise God for the relationship I have with Him and the growth I have made in my closer walk with God. This would not have happened without some event from God- and so many other events could have been worse than what I have gone through. That’s another praise; that He spared me from worse trauma.
Response by Linda Wattu on June 9th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Dan, that’s why I suggest to everyone NOT to discuss your stand for marriage restoration with anyone other than those you know for sure understand and support it. Otherwise, we just give the devil an opening into our hearts and minds, and he won’t miss such a great opportunity to bring us down; to kill, steal and destroy – and we know what he wants to kill, steal and destroy! And I’m glad reminding yourself that it doesn’t matter helped! There’s no way to keep going down the road with Satan’s wicked thoughts when we do that! That’s definitely taking those thoughts captive! And then we can make them obedient to Christ (the Word), just as you did! After awhile, the devil will just leave you alone, I promise! Look how he just slunk away after Jesus kept telling him “It is written…!” Remember to LOOK for God in EVERYTHING, and we can do that IF we really believe that God will work ALL THINGS to our good!
Response by Janet in Maryland on June 9th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Amen and amen. Jenn, I am in agreement with everything you said here. I too had a hard time with some of the things my husband has done in the past. I held these things against him for quite some time. Then as I got more and more into the Word, which is one of the greatest things to come out of our separation, I read and re-read 1 Corinthians 13:5, love keeps no record of wrongs. I said to myself, hmmm, I am a Christian and I want to be obedient to the Word; I know I love my husband with all my heart and therefore, I cannot keep any record of wrongs. Then I let it all go and gave it to God. This has been liberating. I know you love your husband and so I am confident that you will get better and better at forgetting all past wrongs. God bless you and thank you for sharing. Janet
Response by Thursa on June 9th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
This is one of the verses I consider my life verse, Jenn! I’ve had to really take hold of it and apply it to myself!!! The verse reminds me that just as God has forgiven us and forgets our sins, we too are not supposed to look back on things we have done. God has forgotten it, so why do we bring back the memory of it. Satan does it to try to make us feel “unworthy” of the blessings and gifts God has for us. He tries to get us off track so we miss the blessings. And just as you mentioned, we must apply the same thoughts to our spouses and all others we deal with! Our goal is a heavenward mission and if Satan can take our eyes off of that goal by bringing up things that are forgotten…he will do it. Ask for forgiveness, RECEIVE the forgiveness or extend forgiveness and mean it…the press forward with your eyes on God!!! Thanks again, Jenn, for reminding me how important it is!!!