God is the Source of Life; Not People — by Dan Spitz
In Gary Samlley’s and John Trent’s book, Love Is A Decision, they stress that God must be the number one priority in our lives. When we put God first in every aspect of our lives, He promises to meet all of our needs. Matthew 6:33 (NLT) says Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
But many of us have made our spouses our number one priority instead of God. When we love someone, that is often the case; whether it be our spouse or our children. They are someone we can touch, talk to, see and connect with in our flesh; that’s a human response. As we gain knowledge and understanding of the Word of God, we know that He has to be the priority in our lives, and He does not want anyone to come between us and Him.
Yet, many of us even now, maybe especially now, let our spouse take the top spot in our lives. And until we let God become number one in our lives, we can expect hindrances to our prayers in the restoration of our marriages.
We must get to the point where we experience the spiritual growth described in Ephesians 3:14-21(NLT) as follows:
14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father,[a]
15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.[b]
16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.
17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.
18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.
19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
Smalley and Trent state that the fundamental problem with expecting fulfillment from people, places, and things is that these are the gifts of life, not the source of life. Any time we expect gifts of life to give us what only God can, we are asking for our cups to be drained of energy and life itself. The source of life comes from God; not people, yet we often look to our friends, family, ministers or books.
They continue to say that the more we place our expectations on another person, the more control we give them over our emotions and spiritual state. And the freer we are of expectations from others, and the more we depend upon God alone, the more pure and honest our love for others will become.
How many of us are miserable because we continue to let our husband/wife have control over our emotions and spiritual state? How many of us know we allow this to happen, but for some reason are not willing to do anything about it. It is a scary thought to let go of our spouses. But we must get to the point where it is a much scarier thought to keep God from doing what He promises to do in our marriages! As long as we hang on to human qualities and reason, we are going to get human results!
But once our expectations for wisdom, love, peace and joy are placed in God and not our spouses, we are finally free to love them unconditionally. Then we will have the strength to keep persistently, and expectantly praying for positive changes to happen in the restoration of our marriages. Repeatedly, we have read on this site that we must let our spouses go, but that does not mean giving up on our marriages. It simply means that we let God be God, and know that HE will ultimately direct them to obedience in Him, which will lead to the victory we are assured – marriage restoration and the healing of our families.
Father God, I pray with all my heart that You will give us the strength, faith and trust in You that will allow us to surrender our husbands/wives, the ones we love so much, to You. Lord, we know You are the only source of life that we seek. Let us be released from our human tendencies to seek refuge in others and to fully trust in You to deliver the promises You have made to restore and heal the covenant marriage to which You were a witness. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen
I must admit that I am guilty of this. I have always prayed and been very close to God, but when I got married, I sort of strayed and put my husband’s priorities first. I often think that God has been putting me through this trial to bring me back closer to him. Before I got married, I wholely and solely depended on God for everything! Then I got married and I prayed, but I didn’t solely depend on God. Please forgive me, Lord, for not putting you first in everything.
WOW Dan! This is what God spoke to me about 2 weeks ago, which is when I finally “let go.” And there has been such a peace. I cannot give someone else control over my being, and my emotions. I belong to God and all of me, emotions and all, belong to Him and must be used for HIS glory.
I liked when you said” As long as we hang on to human qualities and reason, we are going to get human results!” I am a person of reason and rationalization, and I had to rid myself of those processes, because they work in opposition to faith. I am going to print this SOF and read it again tonight.
I thank God for you sharing this post with us!
Fay, don’t feel bad; we ALL are guilty of putting our spouses and marriages before our walk and relationship with the Lord. And there is no doubt that is why we are where we are today; the Lord just wanted to draw us back to Him. And, Paula, you know we’re all guilty of trying to reason and understand everything, but that is so contrary to what the Lord wants and demands of us – He says NOT to lean to our own understanding; to TRUST HIM WITH ALL OF OUR HEARTS, and to acknowledge Him in ALL our ways…but none of us do that all the time! But, oh what peace when we do! Thanks, ladies!