I was really struck by Lorraine Ezell’s Coffee Break message this morning, because it’s so well timed with the recent discussion in the fellowship about understanding that God tells us to let our spouses go when they want to leave; yet at the same time He wants us to believe that He can and will restore our marriages. But it’s often difficult to get past the seeming contradiction of standing for our marriages and letting our spouses go, which the following sentence from Lorraine really sums up perfectly! She said “Don’t be attached to the things of the flesh– surrender them and receive the better thing God is wanting to give to you.” She also said “If you hold on to them, you are sacrificing the better for the worse.” And that really is the choice men and women standing for marriage restoration have to make. Either we can desperately and ineffectively try to hold onto marriages now filled with nothing but disappointment, pain and heartache, or we can surrender them to God and trust Him to supernaturally replace them with the glorious and blessed marriages He wants us to have. When we’re standing for marriage restoration for the right reasons; in obedience to God and for the glory of Christ, and not for our own pleasure and to meet our own needs, we have to let go of the past and our spouses to get the “better thing” God has planned for us; just as Paul tells us in Philippians 3:12-14, which says Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Yes, God tells us to let our spouses who no longer believe in honoring their marriage vows depart; as we see in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 (NASB), which says Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? But it’s very important to realize that we can’t take that instruction with disregard for what we know about God’s Word, which is that it NEVER returns void and that it will ALWAYS accomplish what God desires and what He sent it to accomplish (Isaiah 55:10-11). And in Malachi 2 (AMP), God’s Word makes it very clear that HE gets personally involved in upholding the covenant of our marriages by rejecting and refusing to accept or bless the offerings of anyone who violates the covenant He was a witness to.

And it’s not possible to read Malachi 2:11-17 (AMP) and question how strongly God hates divorce or that He very personally and actively honors and upholds the covenant of our marriages when we remain faithful to them; because it says:
Judah has been faithless and dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah [that is, Jewish men] has profaned the holy sanctuary of the Lord which He loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god [having divorced his Jewish wife]. The Lord will cast out of the tents of Jacob to the last man those who do this [evil thing], the master and the servant [or the pupil] alike, even him who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts. And this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears [shed by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives], and with [your own] weeping and crying out because the Lord does not regard your offering any more or accept it with favor at your hand. Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. You have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you say, In what way have we wearied Him? [You do it when by your actions] you say, Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord and He delights in them. Or [by asking], Where is the God of justice?

As I just reread The Lord will cast out of the tents of Jacob to the last man those who do this [evil thing], the master and the servant [or the pupil] alike, even him who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts., which I’ve done many, many times before, the Lord gave me a totally new insight and understanding. As long as our spouses are not living in right relationship with us, particularly those who are involved in adulterous relationships, repentance is NOT possible, because God will not receive their sin offering or sacrifices, and according to 1 Peter 3:7 (NASB), He won’t hear or answer their prayers either, because it says You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. And then Matthew 5:22-24 even says “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Obviously, God is very serious about reconciliation and making past wrongs right, and He did NOT say that we could just pray and ask for forgiveness. In fact Isaiah 55:7 confirms that and makes it clear that God pardons our sin when we FORSAKE it and turn away from it, because it says Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

So when we truly understand just how serious God is about honoring and upholding the covenant of our marriages and that He is going to get very personally and actively involved in creating circumstances that lead our spouses to repentance and reconciliation, it should be a lot easier for us to let them go. After all, Romans 8:30 assures us that we have nothing to worry about, because it says What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? And if God is not receiving or blessing our spouses’ offerings and worship, and if He’s not honoring their prayers, because they are not living in right relationship with us and as joint heirs with us, we can be pretty sure He’s on our side! And when we REALLY believe Proverbs 21:30, which says There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD., we don’t need to worry about the plans our spouses are making to leave, because ONLY God’s Word and purpose will prevail, just as Proverbs 19:21 says; Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. And among many other verses assuring us of that, the following definitely make it VERY clear that “man proposes and God disposes!”

Proverbs 16:1 – To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.

Proverbs 16:9 – In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Proverbs 20:24 – A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?

Proverbs 21:1 – The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.

When we let our spouses go and stop holding onto them and give up our dead marriages, putting our full faith and confidence in the power and promise of God’s Word, He ABSOLUTELY WILL BE faithful to perfect His plan for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families! So read Lorraine’s Coffee Break devotional and be blessed and encouraged!

“But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.” Romans 13:14

The other day a couple of people and I were talking about a television show- What Not To Wear. In case you aren’t familiar with the show, a person is nominated who needs help with the way they dress. Once the person has been selected they are approached with the opportunity to get rid of all the clothes in their closet and buy a brand new wardrobe with a $5,000.00 gift card. Jokingly, I asked one of the people I was talking with if they wanted me to submit their name to the show. This led to a discussion.

These people said they wouldn’t want to do it because they didn’t want to have to give up their whole wardrobe— they liked some of their clothes. Personally, I’d jump at the chance. I am thankful for my clothes, but I am not so attached to any of them that I couldn’t give them up to gain something better– a brand new wardrobe…free.

Let me bring this into the spiritual realm. We are a lot like that. God calls us to “give up” something and we don’t want to because we like it too much. He is trying to give us something better- something of greater eternal value- and we are too attached to that fleshly thing that we often won’t give it up. These nominees have to give up their entire wardrobe because what they are wearing isn’t flattering, it hides the “real” them, it distracts from their beauty. God deals with us to give up some things that we are “wearing” because it hides the light of Christ in us and distracts from them seeing Jesus in us.

Whatever God deals with you to give up- fleshly attitudes, wrong thinking, self-centered desires, desires of the flesh- give them up. You can’t afford to be attached to
them. You have to be willing to give them up. If you hold on to them, you are sacrificing the better for the worse. God wants to bless you and bring out His character in you– He wants Jesus to be seen in you. He won’t be if He’s hidden under the wrong “clothes”.

Have a great day. Don’t be attached to the things of the flesh– surrender them and receive the better thing God is wanting to give to you.

Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell and it’s sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.

So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

Posted Friday, February 15th, 2008 at 4:59 pm in Seeds Of Faith.