It’s always so exciting to see how the Lord works in the lives of FAM Fellowship members to demonstrate His never ending power and faithfulness to confirm and uphold His Word, as we’ve all been especially blessed to witness in the past few weeks. So without exception, there’s nothing more significant we can do to insure and even hasten the restoration of our covenant marriages than truly understanding the importance of knowing what the Bible says and then learning to really put our faith and confidence in the authority of God’s Word as we stand on it for the restoration of our marriages and families. And there’s only one thing the Bible very specifically tells men and women to do when their spouses want to leave, and that’s found in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 (NASB), which says Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? And even though it’s not the topic of this post, I hesitate to ever share this passage of scripture without pointing out that God is NOT saying that means we’re free to abandon the covenant of our marriages as many Christian leaders and preachers teach and even promote today. And we know that because Paul wrote this in the context of the previous five verses, all titled Keep Your Marriage Vows, which say Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. So it’s hard to read the plain, straight forward, clear and concise meaning of those verses and then conclude that God is saying that we are free to remarry if our spouses leave us. And to put an even stronger emphasis on that point, Paul concluded his instruction concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage in verses 39 and 40 of the same chapter by saying A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God. And Paul restated the same thing again in Romans 7:1-3.

Therefore, based on the written Word of God, it’s difficult to understand and accept the allowances many Christians now make for divorce and remarriage, especially when the only possible exception found in God’s written Word (and we can’t dismiss or ignore that either as many also like to do) is what Jesus said in Matthew 19:8-9, which says Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” But that’s discussed in a lot more detail elsewhere on this site and not meant to be the main point of today’s post or to suggest that God doesn’t want us to stand for our marriages even when our spouses have committed adultery as most of them have, especially since we know God hates divorce and always calls us to forgiveness and to seek peace. And when God calls us to a higher level of faith to stand for the restoration of our marriages even after adultery, divorce and remarriage, He isn’t going to change His mind and we aren’t likely to find peace or happiness if we try to walk away from that call, as I can attest to very personally.

And since Mark 10:11-12 says He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”; and Luke 16:18 says “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery., that means God must mean something other than getting on with our lives and marrying someone else when He tells us to let our spouses leave when they want to. And since we know God is the same yesterday, today and forever, the best way to find out more about what God means is to look at similar situations in the Bible and what they teach us about God’s character and nature, and the way He works, as well as how biblical characters acted and responded in similar situations. And two of the most applicable situations demonstrating the same supernatural power God brings to bear on our spouses when they leave (IF we let them leave and do our best to live in peace) are found in the story of Hosea and Gomer in Hosea 2, and in The Parable of the Lost (Prodigal Son, as found in Luke 15. Both of these passages of scripture illustrate how God uses his supernatural power to bring our spouses home when we just let them go and put our faith and confidence in Him to do what His Word promises He will do. And they teach us so much about how He will pursue them and how all of heaven will rejoice when they come to their senses and return home where they belong. But we can’t fully rely on the supernatural power of God to work in our situations as long as we’re being disobedient and trying to hang onto our spouses and continue trying to manage or manipulate them and their lives IN ANY WAY, because that’s a definite indication to God that we DON’T take Him at His Word and trust Him to do supernaturally what we are absolutely powerless to do in the natural.

As is always the case, and total confirmation of the power revealed in Revelation 12:9-12, one of the best ways to overcome the works of the devil and illustrate God’s power and faithfulness to watch over and perform His Word is to hear how He has done that in the lives of others. And even though there are SO many testimonies of how the Lord has been doing that in our midst lately, I just want to share two of the most recent and dramatic we’ve seen in the past few weeks and days.

Two ladies in the fellowship have very similar situations and we’ve all been absolutely amazed to see how their husband’s lives and circumstances always seem to coincide with each other. For instance, they both had court appearances on the same day and they both were evicted from the homes they shared with NCPs (non-covenant persons) at the same time. They both had their cars repossessed at the same time and they both lost and got jobs at the same time (with quite a bit of time in between). And they both continually try to involve their wives in the dramas always going on in their lives by sharing all of the details with them. And they’ve both seen their lives continue to go from bad to worse and it’s been a challenge for their wives to witness how low they seem to go as they walk further and further away from the values they used to have and the relationships they once had with the Lord. And these ladies are not the only ones seeing the same things happening in the lives of their spouses. But one of the ladies recently discovered that some serious addictions were a factor in her husband’s life, so I sought the advice of someone I know who is involved in Celebrate Recovery (a Christian twelve step program) and was reminded to caution her about being co-dependent. And that really struck a cord in my own spirit, because it was just total confirmation of the Lord’s instructions to us to let our spouses go when they want to leave. And the Lord showed me how allowing themselves to be so embroiled in the drama of their spouses lives was not really letting them go. So I suggested that they stop engaging in conversations with their spouses about the messes their lives were in; that they should tell them that they knew they would figure out what was best for their lives, and that they (wives) had to come to terms with the fact that they (husbands) were where they wanted to be and then do what they (wives) needed to do to get on with their lives to make the best of their situations for them and their children. Both wives have young children and they were both stay-at-home moms and their husbands both had their own construction businesses when they left home, which they both lost in short order. And neither husband paid any kind of child support at all when they left. One wife lost her home and everything and had to move with her three children into her parents’ home and the other would have been out on the streets if not for the support of various non-profit organizations (she was pregnant when her husband left and therefore didn’t qualify for most of the housing assistance normally available because she couldn’t work or go to school while pregnant).

It’s been interesting to see how that change of mindset affected both ladies, because they really started focusing more on what they needed to do for the sake of their children and figuring out how to best improve their lives and become more independent of their husbands. Of course, they were never rude, unkind or disrespectful to their husbands. In fact, they just affirmed to their husbands that they were finally doing what they had been telling them to do all along. BUT what happened next is truly amazing and something that ONLY God could do; and what awesome confirmation of how He works to bring His Word to pass when we walk in faith and obedience and put our trust in God and the power and promise of His Word!

Several months ago, the lady who lived with her parents was blessed to get into an assisted housing program and she and her kids ended up in a very nice and spacious three bedroom apartment. She got a new job at a daycare center, which took care of the child care issues facing many young moms when it comes to working to support themselves. But she had to rely on her husband to help pay the expenses. He was the one with the addiction issues and didn’t keep up the support for more than two months, which is just about when we discussed doing what she had to do to take care of herself and the kids and to stop focusing on her husband’s problems. She ended up getting a great job (and it practically fell in her lap, so that’s another huge praise report!) that enabled her to pay for her expenses, including child care, and then this month her child care vouchers came through and she’s doing great financially. Well, all of that was a huge change in her life and attitude, which her husband responded to very positively and quickly, and he recently told her that he’s very seriously thinking about coming home! He’s spending a lot of time with her and the kids again and it’s clear that he is totally smitten with his wife again! But he’s still having a problem figuring out how to break things off with the NCP, so she just keeps telling him she’s sure he will figure all of that out and changes the subject. And now he’s been spending a lot of time away from the NCP; going out of town with family for the weekend and spending several nights in a row with a friend. So it will be a huge surprise if he isn’t home very soon! Her testimony of how the Lord has blessed her and her family and looked out for and provided for her every need is just so awesome and leaves absolutely no doubt who has orchestrated it all!

Then the other lady was faced with some difficult decisions because the source of support for her housing was no longer available. But right at that time, a housing program she had expressed an interest in months earlier contacted her to let her know they had a place available. There were some conditions required for participation in the program that seemed to be problematic in terms of standing for her marriage, but she explained what she had to do to her husband and was surprised with how well he reacted. And that was after she too had told him that she had to accept the choices he had made and accept that he was where he wanted to be; and that it was time for her to focus on doing what she had to do for herself and the kids. Prior to that time, he would often call and subject her to tirades of anger when he was with the NCP, which she started telling him she wasn’t going to do anymore; that they could discuss whatever the matter was when he was calmer. And after just a couple of times, he got the message and stopped talking to her like that when he’s with the NCP, which he almost always is since she won’t let him out of her sight. And just as she was about to be evicted, she found out that she was accepted and will be able to move into a new apartment with extremely low rent! God often waits right up to the last minute, but He’s NEVER too late! And when she told her husband that she would be moving and some of the terms she had to agree to, he took it surprisingly well. But he called her later to tell her that he hadn’t been able to sleep for a couple of weeks, because even though everything seems to be going great with him and the NCP, he can’t help feeling that he’s not where he’s supposed to be!!! And after practically ignoring his new baby since his birth, he told her that he’s really feeling drawn to his son now too! And he also told her he doesn’t know how to have the conversation he needs to have with the NCP about what’s going on, even though he thinks she already senses it. So he’s confused and wondering why that’s happening, because it doesn’t make any sense to him! But his wife assured him that she knew he would make the right decisions when the time was right for him to make them. Of course, we know what’s going on, because it was two weeks ago that his wife asked the Lord to put it in his heart where he belonged and to confirm to her that He was doing that. And it was the next day that I told her that the other lady’s husband had said he was very seriously thinking about coming home! So she told me about her prayer then and how she considered that confirmation since we always joke about how the two husbands always seem to be on the same path! And so it seems they are again; praise the Lord, because we know that’s a path right back to their wives and families!

The reason for sharing so much detail, and there’s SO much more that could be shared, is to make the point that God just wants us to do what His Word instructs us to do, and that when we do, He will do supernaturally what we can’t possibly do! But His supernatural power is only released to act on our behalf in the restoration of our marriages when we stop trying to bring it about in the natural or continue to look at our situations instead of relying on His power and faithfulness! When we come to the place of finally letting our spouses go and focusing on what God has for our lives NOW, we will se God work supernaturally to do what “appears” absolutely impossible! And He appears to respond quickly too, because these ladies have been standing for their marriages for over one and a half years and one year respectively, and just as soon as they ACTED on letting their spouses go, God went into action and SUPERNATURALLY brought about the changes they have so longed to see in the natural! So when we focus on releasing our spouses to the Lord when they leave, and rely on His supernatural power to bring about the restoration of our marriages and families, there’s absolutely no doubt that we will indeed be blessed and encouraged, because what God has done for one, He will do for all; He is no respector of persons!

Posted Friday, February 29th, 2008 at 4:33 pm in Seeds Of Faith.