One of the devil’s most effective and destructive weapons against men and women desiring to stand for the restoration of their marriages is the false doctrine of “free will”, which is very unfortunately believed, taught and promoted by a surprising number of Christians and Christian leaders today. As I acknowledged in the first Seeds Of Faith post I wrote on this topic almost two years ago, The False Doctrine of Free Will, I grew up believing this lie too, which is one of the reasons it makes me so angry when I hear that pastors and counselors continue to preach it to the majority of men and women who come to the ministry and have to unlearn it. I just don’t believe it’s possible to read the Bible and continue to believe this invention straight from the pit of hell! If we believe it, there’s just no point in standing for our marriages, because we don’t believe God can do anything without the approval or permission of our spouses; that He won’t do anything against THEIR will! How preposterous is that!

Yes, God will let us stray and He will give us numerous opportunities to make the right choices, but there WILL come a time when He will intervene and bring HIS will to pass in our lives. And that does NOT require a decision from any of us to do the right thing according to God, because He is more than able to change our hearts and create circumstances that radically change our minds and attitudes; including our willingness to live obediently! We recently had just such a testimony posted on the ladies’ private website by a FAM member who had been divorced for many years. She had filed for the divorce, which ended up being very nasty, and she and her husband remained bitter and angry with each other over the years. But they saw each other at an event where contact with each other was unavoidable and much to her surprise, she fell in love with her husband all over again! So after being divorced for so many years, she is now standing for the restoration of her marriage, and they’ve actually had some very encouraging and positive interaction with each other since she realized that she still loved him and wanted him back! And all of that came about through circumstances she and her husband had nothing to do with and could not avoid, and it was all totally against anything either of them wanted or expected, especially since the husband had recently become seriously involved with someone else for the first time since their divorce!

As I often tell men and women standing for marriage restoration when they struggle with whether or not it’s what God wants them to do or if they want to do it anymore; if God wants us to stand for our marriages and we try to walk away from it, HE will create the circumstances that bring us right back to it. So I just tell anyone thinking of abandoning their stand to go head and try, because God will bring them back to it and they won’t be happy with the consequences when they do. And without exception, the men and women I have talked to about it acknowledge that every time they’ve tried to abandon their stand, God has always brought them right back to it. So much for free will! Standing for marriage restoration when the whole world, including your pastor, family and friends think you’re crazy is one of the hardest things anyone will ever attempt to do, and it is not something anyone ever “chooses” to do. We do it because we love our spouses and we take our marriage vows and commitment seriously, and because God has given us the desire, grace and strength to stand against the odds and rely on the power and promise of His Word for the restoration of our marriages and families.

But as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and the salvation of our spouses, we must devote ourselves to prayer, because as John 6:44 tells us, “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day. And John 12:32 says “But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.” So it is God and Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, who will draw our spouses to the Lord and salvation; not a matter of their free will choice, as the false doctrine of free will would have us believe. So we have to rely on God’s promise in 1 John 5:14-15, which says This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. And thanks to John 3:16, we know that it is God’s will for our spouses to be saved; it says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. While we all probably know that verse, we might not be so familiar with the two preceding verses, which say Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.” And when we stand on the power and promise of God’s Word for the restoration and salvation of our marriages and spouses, we are lifting up the name of Jesus, and others, including our spouses, will be drawn to salvation as they witness how the Lord works in our lives and restores our marriages and families..

As one of the youngest FAM Fellowship members recently shared with me; the ONLY way we can stand in absolute faith and confidence that God is going to restore our marriages is to know that there’s no such thing as free will. She said she believed that God wouldn’t do anything against her husband’s will when she came to the ministry (and that’s what everyone counseling her keeps telling her), which is why she felt she had to do something to change her husband’s mind and attitude about what he was doing. Of course, as we’ve all discovered the hard way; that only made things worse. But now she understands that it is God who can and will change her husband’s heart and mind, so now she doesn’t have to do anything but her best to love, respect and honor her husband unconditionally, and let him see the way God has and continues to work in her own heart and life. Like she said to me; “How can we believe in the restoration of our marriage if we believe God can’t and won’t do it unless it’s what our spouse wants?” And the only answer to that is that we can’t.

Since Dr. Charles Stanley is one of the Bible scholars and teachers I have the greatest respect for, because I know he believes and teaches the Word of God, I was thrilled to hear how he confirmed so much of this post in his message yesterday, which I didn’t listen to until after writing it (one of the FAM members sent me the link because he liked what Dr. Stanley said about there being no such thing as free will)! So I’d encourage everyone to take the time to listen to That All May Know Him. And be blessed and encouraged to know that there is no such thing as free will, because no matter what we or anyone else think or believe, God Almighty reigns and HIS will WILL be done here on earth just as it is in heaven! Amen!

Posted Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 1:39 pm in Seeds Of Faith.