Encouragement from the Other Side of the Mountain!
(Note from Linda: The FAM members have truly been blessed to watch the Lord at work in the restoration of two families that were totally devastated by a non-covenant relationship that led to two divorces and a non-covenant marriage. MNO (member name omitted) has a very powerful testimony of how the Lord spoke first to her non-covenant husband and then to her, and convicted both of them that they needed to return to their covenant spouses if they would have them. The legal dissolution of that marriage will be final this week and both are standing on the power and promise of God’s Word for healing and the restoration of their covenant marriages. It’s truly been a great blessing to see how MNO moved from uncertainty about what to do (even wondering if she should stand for her second marriage) to the understanding and confidence she now has in the truth of God’s Word and will; not to mention so much love, admiration and respect for her husband. And what a blessing her very unique insight has been to everyone in the fellowship; such as the following message she shared this morning. I know it will be a great source of insight to all who read it, so be blessed and encouraged! Thanks, MNO! I know the Lord will bless you so abundantly for the great praise, honor and glory you bring to His name; so just as we’re told in Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:28, God ALWAYS meant it all for good and the saving of many!)
Sometimes it is hard not to lean on your own understanding about what is happening on the other side of the mountain; but as a former prodigal, I can tell you that image of happiness is fake; nothing but an act, and all of the hurtful words come from frustration.
I tried to make everyone believe I was happy; I made myself believe I was, even though I can’t count the many times I cried myself to sleep or the number of times I would dream about returning to my covenant husband. But despite that, the hardest thought to deal with was the fact that I walked out on my husband of fourteen years and hurt not only him, but his family, my family, and all of our friends.
I grew up in a Christian home, so I questioned how I could let this happen. I knew how God felt about divorce and adultery, but that wasn’t enough to keep the devil from making me believe I was doing the right thing, because all that really mattered was MY happiness. I couldn’t understand why everyone didn’t understand that. Didn’t they want me to be happy?
Is that what your prodigal is saying to you? “I am not happy. Don’t you care about my happiness? How can you be so selfish?” I’m sure many of you have heard those words. I know I said them numerous times. And yet, in my mind I knew I shouldn’t be saying them, but I had to try anything and everything to “validate” what I was doing. I made up lie after lie to make people feel sorry for me; to try and make them understand. I even told my husband that I was never happy in our marriage. It’s amazing how we could be married for fourteen years and all of the sudden I came to the conclusion that I was never happy. Or have you heard the words “I love you, but I’m not in love with you?” What does that really mean? It means “I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you. But I am being deceived by the evil one and I must go. I cannot stay here. Please pray for me, pray that I will be convicted, pray that God will call me back home.”
The dynamics of my non-covenant marriage changed the minute my husband and his first wife started showing respect to each other, because I became very insecure and threatened by that. Before that, they argued constantly on the phone, and I was always happiest when they were not getting along. Wives, are you showing respect to your husband as it says in Ephesians 5:33, and husbands do you love your wives as you love yourself as it says in Ephesians 5:28-29? I can tell you from experience that when you do, the non-covenant partner will become threatened by your actions. I felt much safer when fiery darts were being launched instead of honoring words and actions of respect.
God loves each and everyone of us, even me, the former prodigal. And God has promised us marriage restoration, so do not worry about what is happening on the other side of the mountain; He has it all taken care of. Appearances can be very deceiving, and prodigals can even fool themselves into thinking they are happy, but God knows the truth, even when we can’t see it.
Thank you. I am sitting at my desk at work and crying. Your post has moved me so much especially since I have been feeling so discouraged. Even though I know what the Word says, it has become difficult to look beyond the natural and keep focused on God and His promises. Thankyou so much for being vulnerable with us – that takes a lot of courage. Bless you.
Wow! I just read this. I am not a member, but am thinking about it. You validated everything I believe and everything that I wrote in a book I have published. Just by coming to an understanding of my husband, I realized he was going through his own turmoil and that much of the grief they give us is only from their frustration, and then you hit it on the head! Thank you for this testimony.
thank you for the letter from the prodigal who asked if my husband stated that he “loved me, but wasn’t in love with me.” My husband says that all the time. Praise the LORD. I finally see what it really means. As I was reading this letter, I felt it was written by my beloved husband…I will pray forever. THANK YOU, Jo
This was exactly what I need to read…thank you! All the things you told your husband, my wife has told me. Thanks again!
My wife left me almost two months ago and she has said to me almost verbatim what MNO said to her husband. It was almost as if someone was transcribing our conversation. MNO, you have renewed my faith and my hope that my marriage will be restored. May God bless you and continue to strengthen your marriage.
Thank you; I needed to hear this.
Wow! It is amazing how something you wrote two years ago can still touch so many of us who are going threw what you went threw. I am a stander, and what you wrote inspires me to keep trusting God and to keep my eyes focused on what God has promised me. Thank You! Grace
Thank you! This is just what my husband said to me, but God is in control. Thank you for being so real. I stumbled across this website, but God did that. Thank you for putting hope back into me. God will take care of all of us because He promised. Renee
Thank you for your encouragement. This is really a blessing for me today. God bless you and your husband and family with years of love and prosperity.
Thank you so much! You are a blessing to so many, including me. Thank you. God Bless.
I have been reading this website now for about three hours. This is my last post for the night, and it could not of ended better. As I read the comments, I have come to realize that we’ve all heard the same phrases and they’ve hurt us all in a similar way, which only shows how the enemy uses the same tactic all the time to achieve the same purpose. I thank MNO for telling her story and helping us understand and continue to pray for our spouses for the miracle of restoration. Thank you for this wonderful website and may God continue to use it for his glory. Now, I say my standing husband prayer and Good Night! May God restore your marriages!
These are such encouraging words to hear as I’ve heard the same things from my wife. And even though the divorce proceedings continue, I believe God will make a way. He is all i have as I stand in the gap for my marriage.
Thank you so much for posting your testimony…it has given me so much encouragement. I kept my daughter out of school today because I didn’t want her daddy to see her, but after reading your post about doing what God wanted me to do, I texted my husband and said she is out of school and she wasn’t feeling well today and he actually texted me back and said Thank You. God really is in control.
I struggled to believe my husband could just walk out and not care about our marriage, so your honesty has confirmed for me that God is working even when we can’t see it. Thank you!
Thank you so much! I have really struggled with forgiveness for my husband until I just read your testimony. His words (the EXACT words you used) left such a deep scar on my heart, and I have prayed daily that God would remove those memories. For the longest time, I blamed myself and could not understand how I missed the signs of his unhappiness; it was like we were in a different marriage. So I was blown away when he left and did not seem to care. Now I understand this was not my husband and that my marriage really wasn’t all just a huge lie.
God is AWESOME and I know He is working…I was ready to give up this morning on my marriage and any hope for restoration because I thought we were too far gone. But now I know we have only just begun!!! And I have such peace now. Thanks again for your honesty and I pray you help others as much as you have helped me.
I just found this site and its been such a blessing! I would love to join but am not sure if its still an active site. Please reply and let me know. Everything I’ve read so far as all been dated 2008 and there’s nothing newer..
Yes, Chris, we’re still a VERY active ministry and the private website is definitely a happening place.
However, since we now have almost three hundred members in the FAM Fellowship and most of my time is spent on the phone with members, along with moderating both websites, my other administrative duties and preparing for our weekly conference calls, I don’t have the time needed to properly study for the Seeds Of Faith post as I did in the early years of the ministry. That’s why I try to post something every once in awhile just to let people know that we’re still here. Those were very special times for me and I really do miss having that time for Bible study, but the good thing is that I did have the time to study and prepare for all the posts I wrote for the first three years and they’re all still there and just as relevant today as the day I wrote them. So I’m glad you’ve been blessed by the public site and we’d certainly welcome you to our family, which truly is what we consider ourselves in the FAM Fellowship.
May you continue to be blessed as you continue to grow in your walk and relationship with the Lord and stand in faith and obedience on the power and promise of His Word for the full and complete restoration of your marriage and family. And do get ready because God is always moving ever so mightily!
In His Love,
Linda
Reading through your testimony, I recalled the voice of my husband as he told me exactly the same words you spoke to your husband. I was totally devastated and didn’t understand at all. But after reading your post, I feel that I regained the portion of strength that left me when I heard him say that he had stopped loving me.
I’m always speechless when I look back and see all the ways god used to speak to me during this difficult time in our lives.. HE IS A GREAT GOD! HE IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE A GREAT AND FAITHFUL GOD! And I am speechless now–all I can do is cry and thank Him for showing me that those words were spoken out of frustration, anger and confusion. God knows our minds and searches our hearts and He knew the questions that were constantly running through my head. I love Him so much!
Thankyou for being strong in the Lord and may God Almighty continue to bless you and your husband forever and ever! Praise God!!!
This site truly is a blessing for standers like me. My husband tried to break up with the NCP several times and wants to come back to us–his family, but the NCP won’t let him go and holds onto him by threatening to end her life. I understand now how my husband suffers from all of this and want to help him through prayer. Please send me powerful prayers for this situation.
Thank you for your testimony, MNO. It is extremely encouraging. My wife, who has filed for divorce and is now involved with someone else, said almost the exact same things to me when she asked me to move out. We have three sons and I can’t even describe how much I miss them.
The scars run deep, but it is so encouraging to read your testimony. I am a standing husband and pray daily for the restoration of my marriage. What a blessing this site is and it just reminds me that all things are possible when Jesus is in the center of it.
God is faithful to those who believe and this just reaffirms that once again. Your testimony has given me peace and confidence to continue to stand in faith for my marriage and my family. I love my wife so very much. Please pray for the complete restoration of my marriage and family.
God bless you, MNO, and your husband. Praise the Lord, He who heals, restores, redeems, and loves us unconditionally!! Thank you, FAMM…what a wonderful, encouraging ministry and website. May God bless all who come to this website and stand in faith for the restoration of their marriages!! In Jesus’ Name, Mr H
I would like to thank this ministry–you are truly a blessing. my husband is leaving me for another woman and going overseas with her in a month. I spent my days crying and not knowing what to do because he left me with so much debt. So this site has truly been a blessing and I’m so glad I found it. Thank you so so much!
Is this site being updated? Where is the link to your private site?
My husband left for the adulteress (who left her own husband) and they legalized their adultery two years ago.
Just recently, the NCP gave me a nasty note about something and signed “Mrs. (my husband’s last name) in huge writing. But I didn’t bother to reply and just asked God to take care of it.
The following week, as my birthday was approaching, my husband and the NCP brought our son back from his mid-week visitation. And my son had four birthday balloons for me, along with a card that quite honestly sounds more like something from a husband to his wife than from a teenaged son to his mother. I also got six artificial roses in a vase, which my son (who’s special-needs) indicated his dad picked out.
So despite being divorced against my will and despite the NCP wanting my husband to be nasty to me to discourage me, my husband and I are on friendly terms in spite of a virtual lack of communication. He smiles and waves at me when he drops off our son (of course, the NCP has to be there). And we do not argue about visitation; if there’s a disagreement, we work it out and come to an agreement.
I can’t help thinking the love is still there. In fact, two days before our final divorce hearing, he told me that he still loved me even though he acknowledged that he knew the NCP would grill him and ask if he said that to me. She obviously believes she’s entitled to him and that I’m just in the way.
I believe God is moving…something is definitely happening on the other side of my mountain and I think I’m getting glimpses.