Exposed and Restored by His Light!
What an awesome blessing it is to witness the total and complete transformation that takes place when men and women finally SURRENDER ALL to Jesus Christ and let the light of His love and goodness transform them as they are restored to Him and ALL THINGS are indeed made new! The following testimony was posted earlier tonight on the private website, and since it is SO encouraging and such an inspiration, I requested permission to share it here because it is such a powerful illustration and testimony of the power God ALWAYS has in our hearts, minds, spirits and lives when we just LET GO and give it all to Him!
It’s amazing how so many conversations with someone seem to make NO difference and then when it’s least expected, the Holy Spirit works SUPERNATURALLY and that person never seems to be the same again! After ministering to this FAM member for about two months and honestly wondering if she could ever get past her anger and unforgiveness toward her husband, no one could be more surprised and pleased to read the following praise testimony of how God truly got hold of her and restored her to Him and has already taken her so far toward the actual restoration of her marriage and family in the process! Her entire demeanor and attitude are totally different; the things that would have driven her into a tirade against her husband before, just don’t seem to matter to her anymore, so I hope and pray that sharing her experience here will touch a chord in the hearts, minds and spirits of others who are right where she was such a short time ago and that you will be blessed and encouraged!
I haven’t been on in a while, and first want to thank everyone for your prayers during Hurricane Ike. That was the last time I spoke to Linda, but when she called me, Ike was the last thing on my mind and I had no intentions of evacuating. I just wanted to vent my frustrations about my circumstances and what I was feeling. But as always, she stopped me dead in my tracks and put me in my place. Thank you, Linda; I really needed that. But after hanging up with her, SNO (spouse name omitted) called to say that we were evacuating and told me to get some things together. We went to his sister’s, but to be honest, I wasn’t focused on anything but what I had already been going through. Every time he wanted to know what the weather was like, all I could think was that he wanted to get back to the NCP (non-covenant person). But when we came back home, we were blessed to have no damage to the house, even though we were without lights for a little over a week and we had some issues with our cable/internet. My youngest daughter also had her birthday that weekend, but she was so sweet; she told me that she was just thankful that we were together and that her daddy wanted to make sure we were safe.
Secondly, I would like to welcome all of the new members to the family. I haven’t always participated but I can tell you that I’ve been encouraged so much by reading all of the posts. It amazes me that many have felt the same things that I’ve felt; not to mention being in some of the same circumstances. There have been times when I felt like no one could possibly understand what it feels like, and then to read that someone was in the same situation, and that they came through it is very encouraging. So, welcome again, and it is my prayer that each of you be blessed through this awesome ministry, as well as with the wisdom of God’s Word that’s shared here.
So much has happened since September that I don’t even know where to begin. My husband started a trucking business in both of our names, and he is the driver/dispatcher and I wear all of the other hats. So please pray for us in this area, as I’m learning as I go and we still have some things to work out.
I praise God that he has started helping financially and that he actually added my name to his bank account and ordered me a debit card. This is huge because he was not helping me out much before. And it frustrated me to know that he was taking care of someone else and their child better than he was taking care of us. There was a time when I thought we were going to be evicted from our home because he hadn’t paid the rent as promised, and then I found checks showing that he had been paying the NCP’s rent.
When I joined the ministry, my husband was living with one NCP and another NCP was pregnant. I was so focused on his sins that I couldn’t see my own and how I helped tear down my marriage. And I kept a mental note of every wrong he had done to me right down to the most trivial detail. I wasn’t spending time in the Word or with God like I should have been. But it was on September 12, 2008 after speaking with Linda that I had to make the decision to get real about the things of God and let my husband go. I also had done this before so many times that I’ve lost count, but that time I began to ask God to change me…not SNO.
I began to recall, for the last year and a half how God has been the “ULTIMATE PROVIDER and SUPPLIER” of my every need. Although we say it, how many of us really know GOD to be just that in our lives. Honestly speaking, I admit being guilty of taking God for granted. Before March 2008, I never really knew “Jehovah Jireh.” Boy, was I in for an awakening experience of what the name would really mean to me. To date, I have been on a journey, that I thought was going to be a marathon. But you know…a strange thing happens, when you really begin to pray and seek God for truth and with a pure heart. Not only am I beginning to know who God really is; but during this experience, he has begun to show me who He really is in me SPIRITUALLY and what I am in my FLESH (Romans 1:21).
I am calling this period of time “EXPOSURE” because it is during this season, that I am learning that not only did I take Gods goodness for granted; I don’t think I ever truly appreciated and thanked him for what he had blessed me with. LIGHT! There is something very special about LIGHT. As it shines and hits a certain spot, it reveals the Purity and Beauty of a thing. LIGHT also EXPOSES the Darkness and Flaws of a thing. And that is what God has been doing with me. Yes, The Holy Spirit spoke, that he was EXPOSING the DARKNESS of the FLESH in me with the LIGHT of his spirit (Daniel 2:22), as there were things in me that would taint and destroy the VISION of where he was taking me (Matthew 6:22-23)
Let me be real with you all today. I wanted to be used by God without anything about me CHANGING; let alone God EXPOSING me to me. But the Holy Spirit said, “Look in the MIRROR and what do you see? Look deep; beyond the clothes, hairdo’s, nails and perfume.” And when the deep layers underneath started to be EXPOSED, I noticed a lot about me was PURE “UGLY” to say the least. That was not in what I saw visually, but what I felt and knew internally about myself and often over looked.
Most likely, in most if not all cases, the EXPOSURE comes with the COST of losing who we THOUGHT we were and are. It is during that time that we are enlightened to what GOD has placed in us that needs to come out. I call that the BUTTERFLY EFFECT, because that’s where we see, the good, the bad, and the ugly; which in time will be used for GODS GLORY. (Romans 8:28)
Who wants their dirty laundry EXPOSED? I have to admit that I didn’t want to remember all of the dark things from my past that hurt not only my marriage, but my husband deeply; or for it to be revealed. I would have preferred to just suppress most of what had transpired throughout my marriage to which I had contributed. Even more than anything else, I just wanted to forget that any of it had ever happened. So I asked God, “Is this truly the route I have to take on this JOURNEY, and why recall my part? He’s the one who needs to change; not me. Don’t you see what he’s doing; how he’s hurt me and our children? I only cheated out of revenge, so he could feel the pain I felt.” He said “The restlessness you’ve been feeling, scattered distracting thoughts and emotional weariness. is because the light of my spirit inside of you wants out; you’re allowing it to be trapped in darkness and held captive to your circumstances.” (Psalm 18:28)
It was time for me to come to grips with the REALITY of what needed to be PURGED, REMOVED, RELEASED and SURRENDERED and laid at the ALTAR of the Father; Who knows ALL, who sees ALL and can fix ALL, in order to get to the DESTINY I’ve been PURPOSED and POSITIONED for. (Psalm 51) I wish I could tell you that I’ve been totally transformed, but that would be a lie. It is still a struggle for me not to go through my husband’s phone to see the call log, text messages or pass by the NCPs house to see if he’s there. But now when that type of thoughts come up, I quickly try to take them captive. I know I’m on the right track because my oldest daughter (who has been angry with me for a while because she felt like I was allowing her dad to run over me and she didn’t understand why I wasn’t standing up for myself to him) recently told me that she notices that her dad and I are getting along better and we actually laugh together now instead of always arguing. Praise the Lord!! Be blessed everyone and I’m sorry this is so long.