One of the most important lessons to learn while standing for marriage restoration is how to forget the former things; because we have to let go of our past to make way for what God has planned for our future. Even though our marriage might seem totally broken and hopeless now, it will be put back together by God himself and ALL THINGS will be restored for His glory. So God isn’t just going to hand us back the same marriage that left us standing where we are today; He is going to make it brand new!

As Isaiah 43:18-25 says Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

And since we are instructed NOT to dwell on the past, we can not pick apart events that happened in the past and sulk over them. As a matter of fact, in the above passage of scripture, we are asked “do you not perceive it?” And the definition of perceive can be defined as having an awareness or knowledge or to become aware of through the senses, as defined in the Merriam Webster Dictionary. So we should have a sense within us that tells us of the new thing the Lord is doing; in other words, we should be able to feel it. But if we are dwelling in the past, we will miss it altogether.

So we have to let go of all of the hurt, pain, resentment, bitterness and wipe away the memories of those things that caused us so much grief. Before the marriage we’re standing for completely came apart at the seams, we most likely struggled through many trials just to keep it together. And it’s those struggles that we need to erase away from our memories.

Most of us standing for the restoration of our marriages, have spouses involved with an NCP (non-covenant person), and there is always tremendous pain involved in learning about the involvement of another person. However, we have to put the attention back on God’s purpose and understand that nothing comes as a surprise to Him, and that as a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, there is nothing that happens to us that God can’t and won’t use for our good. And we know that because Romans 8:28 says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

So we have to know and trust that there Is a purpose in all things that come our way, and that God has GOOD plans for us, as he declares in Jeremiah 29:11-13, which says For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

And we can’t forget that God knows the end from the beginning and sees the BIG picture and WILL bring it ALL to pass (Isaiah 46:10-11). Yes, we have been through painful experiences and difficult times and might well go through even more before our marriages and families are fully restored. However, we can’t drag yesterdays pain into today or today’s pain into our tomorrow (Philippians 3:13), or we will end up carrying so much emotional baggage that we will be overcome by it and prevent the new thing God wants to do for us (Matthew 9:17 and Mark 2:21. So we have to cast our burdens on the Lord and trust Him with the outcome (Psalm 55:22). And once we give it to God, we must be careful not to pick it back up again, or we will find ourselves right back in the same mindsets and patterns of behavior that have already failed us. It is God and GOD ALONE, Who can make ALL THINGS new and breathe life back into our dead marriages (Ezekiel 37)!

So when we struggle with memories and thoughts that sow seeds of doubt and discouragement into our minds, we absolutely have to take them captive and MAKE them obedient to The Word (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). Whether it’s the memories of broken promises, finding out about an NCP, or dealing with the hearts of stone our spouses have toward us now, we have to trust that God is a God of restoration and that HE can heal all things and make them new. And we have to understand that our spouses are not the only reason our marriages failed. We ourselves have played a large part in the breakdown of our marriages, and when we focus on letting God do the work needed in US, we release His supernatural power to work within our spouses too. This is something FAM members have experienced over and over again; once our spouses take notice of the changes in us, their hearts of stone becomes softened and they start turning back home. And letting go of the past and walking in true forgiveness toward our spouses is evidence of our own hearts being softened. And if God can soften our hearts, we know He can soften our spouses’ hearts as well! Praise His Holy name!

Posted Tuesday, December 9th, 2008 at 11:55 pm in Seeds Of Faith.