(Note from Linda: The following post was shared on the private FAM Fellowship website by one of our members with a newly restored marriage. And since it’s an important message for everyone standing for marriage restoration, especially at this time of year when families will be gathering to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, I greatly appreciate MNO’s (member name omitted) permission to share her testimony here as well. And when we do remember to cover our spouses, we will indeed be blessed and encouraged, because that’s what LOVE does!)

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God has put it on my heart to share another valuable lesson with everyone standing for marriage restoration. Please, please cover your spouse during this time of separation and/or divorce, especially during this Christmas season.

No one ever knew how many times my husband had actually left until he left for the last time in April of this year. And when he left that time, I felt that I had protected him enough, and chose to tell my Mom and my brother that he had left two other times since we had reconciled in May of 2006. But I could not have made a bigger mistake, and looking back, I know that I told them for my own selfish reasons. Perhaps I was suffering from a guilty conscience due to my own failures. Perhaps it was pride. Perhaps it was anger and a sense of self-righteousness. Whatever the reason was, it was the wrong one.

And now it looks like I am going to pay the price. I have learned this week that my brother will not be coming to my house on Christmas day as usual. And that’s because he is angry with my husband. He is angry because he now knows that SNO (spouse name omitted) left a total of four times and that two of those times were during a very difficult time when my father was gravely ill and dying.

If we believe that God is going to restore our marriages, then our actions and words need to reflect that. When I decided to “tell all” to two family members, I did not believe God was going to restore my marriage. Instead, I had accepted defeat, and was patting myself on the back for not telling the whole world what my spouse had done to me. However, it only took me telling one person to cause our family to be divided on our first Christmas without my father. And I cannot take back what I said just because I didn’t start standing for my marriage until September, and the damage is done. I can only hope that what I have shared here will keep someone from making a similar mistake and suffer similar or worse consequences.

During this Christmas season, or any season in your life, instead of serving up the details of your marriage and the wrongdoings of your spouse, serve up some humble pie to yourself. In fact, serve up and eat so much of it that you nearly choke on it. My brother is not a believer. And my words regarding SNO should have been words that God would have said. They should have been words that would lead my brother toward Christ, and not words that would cause him to harbor so much unforgiveness and anger.

So during this Christmas season, instead of telling others what your spouse has done TO you; tell them what Christ has done FOR you. God led you to stand for your marriage for a reason. And everything we do or say should reflect Him, and everything we do or say should lead people toward Him. If you don’t do anything else to honor your stand for your marriage at the upcoming times of family gatherings…cover your spouse. You will be so glad you did.

Love and blessings, MNO

Posted Monday, December 22nd, 2008 at 5:45 pm in Seeds Of Faith.