The greatest challenge for most men and women standing for marriage restoration has always been and will probably always be letting go and living in peace. Yet that is the single most definitive and declarative instruction in the Word of God when our spouses want to leave, as stated in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16; and as wives are even told how to do in great detail in 1 Peter 3:1-6. Even though contrary to teaching in most churches today, God definitely was NOT saying that it’s okay for us to just get on with our lives and marry the next person in line! His Word is ALWAYS CONSISTENT with the rest of His Word and as Malachi 2:16 declares, GOD HATES DIVORCE, so He was NOT telling us that it’s okay to just abandon His Holy covenant of marriage and to give up on HIS power and promise to defend us and to uphold our marriages when we remain faithful to our vows and put our trust in HIM (Malachi 2 and Psalm 37:5-6)! Not only that, believing and teaching that is TOTALLY CONTRARY to what God said in the first and last verses on the topic of divorce and remarriage in the same chapter (1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and 1 Corinthians 7:39), and God would NOT say something so totally contrary to what He so unambiguously declared before and after these verses because HE is NOT the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33)! SO it is much MORE consistent with His Word to recognize these verses as God’s counsel on HOW to SAVE our marriages and NOT a release to put them asunder, which Jesus very clearly told us that NO MAN SHOULD DO (Matthew 19:6)! However, it is TOTALLY CONSISTENT with how GOD said He would move in Gomer’s (and unfaithful Israel) life (Hosea 2) and how He moved in the life of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), along with numerous warnings against adultery found throughout Proverbs.

Since letting go is often a topic of discussion in the FAM Fellowship, I recently shared a link to a previous Seeds Of Faith post, Understanding the Paradox of Letting our Spouses Go AND Living in Peace, which I want to share here as well. Fortunately, this has even more meaning now that we are blessed with the insight provided by the testimonies of our members and their spouses who have shared The Prodigal Perspective and what happened when their abandoned spouses would not let go and then how they felt and what happened when they did. And without exception, The Prodigal Perspective and Homecoming Testimonies (another new category on the private website) reveal how they were drawn by their spouses’ peaceful demeanor. So it is obviously very important to learn HOW to walk in the peace of God as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

However, the only way to let go and live in peace as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families is to realize that marriage restoration is accomplished in the SUPERNATURAL and NOT in the natural; which is why we have to trust and obey God. And when we do, we will NEVER be disappointed, because as Numbers 23:19 declares, God is not a liar and we have HIS Word that HE will faithfully bring everything He plans and says to pass in both Isaiah 46:10-11 and Isaiah 55:10-11, as well as in numerous other passages of scripture.

Unfortunately, one of the greatest obstacles to trusting and obeying God with absolute confidence in the power and promise of His Word and His faithfulness to bring it to pass when we stand in faith and obedience is that we keep evaluating everything based on what we can or can not do, and on what our spouses do or don’t do. And as long as we do that, we are bound and restricted by the natural, which just hinders and prevents all that God can and will do in the SUPERNATURAL. So we have to understand that letting go when our mates want to leave is NOT giving up on our marriages; quite the contrary. But we ARE giving up on our misguided ideas that there is anything WE can do to keep them from leaving or to bring about restoration. And letting our spouses go also means that we have to stop concerning ourselves in any way with what they are or are not doing and thinking that we can do anything to change them or their plans; because we can’t and the more we try, the more damage we do. In fact, that’s disobedience on OUR part and disregards the instructions and counsel given in 1 Corinthians 5:5, 2 Corinthians 10:6, Matthew 7:1-5 and many other verses such as John 8:7, which says But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” And since NONE of us are, or ever will be without sin, we have no right to cast stones at our spouses or to sit in judgment over what they are or are not doing. And any time we think we are in a position or have the power to change our spouses’ hearts, we are indeed in dangerous territory because Ezekiel 11:19 and Proverbs 21:1 make it clear that it is GOD Who changes and directs our hearts and whenever we think we can do something that only God can do, we are being prideful and God OPPOSES the proud (1 Peter 5:5-6)!

So when we truly trust God and believe that HE CAN AND WILL BRING HIS WORD AND PROMISES TO PASS, and learn to let our spouses go and stop trying to “fix” or “manage” (even manipulate) their lives, we CAN and WILL live in peace if we do as instructed in Philippians 4:4-9 and keep our minds stayed on the Lord and trust Him (Isaiah 26:3)! And one of the best and most effective ways to do that is to CONTINUALLY praise God and to CONSISTENTLY take EVERY thought contrary to His Word captive and make them obedient to Christ; the Word (2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and John 1:14). So whenever we feel fearful and are not experiencing the peace that passes understanding, we know that does NOT come from God, because as 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) declares, …God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. And when we DO what Philippians 4:4-9 tells us to do, we will indeed be able to let our spouses go and live in peace, because it says:
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

God NEVER asks or expects us to do something that HE does not equip and enable us to do, and when we put these things into practice in faith and obedience as we put our hope and confidence in God instead of looking to our spouses; knowing that ONLY He can do what needs to be done to save and restore our marriages, we will surely be blessed and encouraged beyond belief as we realize that we CAN let our spouses go and live in peace because we know that God will restore our marriages for the praise and glory of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:4-14)!

Posted Monday, February 16th, 2009 at 6:50 pm in Seeds Of Faith.