(Note from Linda: The following was posted by Melissa on the private FAM Fellowship website as she looks back and shares what she has learned while standing for the miraculous restoration of her marriage and family. It’s been nothing short of wonderful and exciting for all of us to see the Lord move in Melissa’s heart and life since she first came to FAM a little over a year and a half ago. And we’ve all been so excited, encouraged and honored to witness the miraculous ways God has been and continues to resolve ALL of the obstacles that have stood in the way of her husband’s return. Their relationship has been restored for months now and Melissa even claimed her marriage restoration (something we do in FAM—speaking things that are not as though they were) many months ago when he told her he was coming home and how much he regretted his involvement with the NCP. But since there are two more children now involved and so many other seemingly impossible issues to overcome, knowing that he wants to come home and getting it done are two totally different things. Yet, God has ever so faithfully been resolving one issue after another and it’s actually very amazing and awe inspiring to see how He has worked out every little detail for them! So SNO should indeed be home very soon and the message Melissa shares as she looks forward to that and contemplates what she has learned during this time is very important for everyone standing for marriage restoration to understand and implement in our own lives. God doesn’t want any of us to get into a “just waiting” mode; because He has a plan and purpose for each of us and He means for us to do ALL that He has called us to do; not just to stand for the restoration of our marriages. And if we haven’t yet been radically changed and transformed in the process of standing, we are probably not ready for restoration and God isn’t likely to act SUPERNATURALLY to bring it about because He knows we will end up right back in the same place if we don’t change and if we don’t have the right walk and relationship with Him. And the more time we waste expecting and waiting for God to change our spouses instead of asking Him to change us, the longer we will likely wait, so I hope and pray that everyone reading what Melissa shared will take it to heart and allow God to reveal the work He wants to do in US instead! And when we do that, we are the ones who will be blessed and encouraged as we release the power of the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts, lives and marriages!)

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There are often times during our stand for marriage restoration when we feel that we are “just waiting”…just waiting for our spouses to come to their senses….or just waiting for God to get a hold of them. So we can easily get into a pattern of thinking that we are ready for our spouse to come home and definitely beyond ready for all of this to be over. I’ve certainly felt that way many times throughout my stand, but God always manages to reveal something to remind me that He is working on ME during this time too. It’s not like I think I have reached “perfection” since I am human and never will because I am a sinner like everyone else, but I have often thought that I was ready for my husband to return and that it must be a matter of “just waiting..”

Fortunately, I finally realized that when I got into that mindset, I would tend to become anxious for my husband’s return; anxious to the point that waiting was becoming very uncomfortable and stressful, and I just wanted the time of waiting to be over. Yet, being anxious is totally contrary to doing things God’s way because we’re instructed to be anxious for nothing in Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV. In fact, God is actually using this time of waiting for our own good and benefit, regardless of how ready we think we are, and He truly knows what’s best (Romans 8:28). Furthermore, when we are anxious, we are more prone to attempt to manipulate or “fix” things by trying to speed up the process in our own way instead of trusting God and not leaning to our own understanding, which is something else God tells us not to do in Proverbs 3:5-6. And I can regrettably recall many times when my anxious spirit didn’t heed or surrender to the work God was doing because I was obviously not content with all that He was doing and mistakenly thought I had to do something to “help” God. Yet, God expects us to be content and to give thanks in ALL circumstances (Philippians 4:11-13 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18) because we trust Him! And when we trust God and love Him enough to obey and serve Him, we will indeed be content and prosperous (Job 36:11) and able to truly praise the Lord and give thanks in ALL circumstances!

And looking back, it’s easy to see that time after time, when I tried to take matters into my own hands, it just made everything worse. But God knew that and just wanted me to get to the point that no matter what, I would trust Him for everything; including His most perfect timing (Ephesians 1:4-14). So God has taught me many lessons through this journey, which has brought about a radical change in my heart and in my whole way of life. And I really do feel like a completely new person because I have had a total make over on the inside that shines on the outside too. So standing for the restoration of my marriage has been a very precious and valuable time in my life. And it’s been (and continues to be) an incredible journey because God has shown Himself to me in so many amazing and miraculous ways, and I have truly made Him the Lord of my life and learned to trust Him and to have complete faith in Him to meet every need and to get me through everything life brings my way.

As things with my husband are finally coming full circle and we are very close to having a fully restored marriage (after two years of separation and two children with the NCP), I have become a lot more thoughtful and reflective. Since I have continually and faithfully prayed for SNO (spouse name omitted) to come home and it’s SO close, I have such an amazing feeling knowing that it’s almost here. And as difficult as this time of waiting has often been, it’s so much worth everything I’ve been through because God’s Word assures us that He will do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I don’t know about everyone else, but I have often imagined what it will be like to be a family again and to have my husband home with us, so it’s incredible to know that God will exceed all I have imagined and really makes me look forward with great anticipation to the fulfillment of His plans for my marriage; which I know will be nothing short of miraculous and fills me with hope for what lies ahead for our family (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

So I want to encourage everyone still waiting for the manifestation of your marriage restoration to remember that while we wait for our spouses to come home, God is SUPERNATURALLY laying the foundation for our restored marriages. And no matter how it might seem otherwise to us, He is not idle for one second or letting time stand still without working mightily in each of our situations. Even as I put this in words, I am aware that SNO would be home today, if God said today was His perfect timing. And since my husband has not yet walked through the door, there are obviously things God is still working on in both of us to lay His solid foundation for our new and improved restored marriage. Since what we had before fell far short of either of our expectations, and we will now both have the marriage we always wanted and dreamed of, I have not been “just waiting” as I often thought; God was just preparing both of us to be the spouses we each want and need.

When we learn to enjoy every day and keep an attitude of gratitude and praise, this journey in our lives will likely be one of the most precious and life changing times we will ever experience. So it is very important that we keep our focus on God and give Him full control of our lives and circumstances; trusting that every day and every situation and circumstance has purpose in GOD’S plan and that His plan will be fulfilled (Isaiah 46:10-11 and Proverbs 19:21). And that means letting go of our personal time table; knowing that God is not going to keep us waiting any longer than necessary. But we are NOT “just waiting” because God has something He wants us to do and learn every day we wait. God sees the big picture; He knows the end from the beginning. And when we let Him do the work He wants to do in us, not one second is wasted while we wait for the full and complete restoration of our marriages. God is never idle and we shouldn’t be either, and there is ALWAYS something more God wants to teach us and to do in us and something He wants us to do for Him. So let’s not fall into the trap of thinking that we’re “just waiting” and passing time…the truth is that it is more than likely God Who is “just waiting”…just waiting for us to truly trust and obey Him and to allow Him to complete the work still needed in US before HE completes the work of restoring our marriages and bringing our spouses home!

Posted Thursday, March 5th, 2009 at 12:14 pm in Seeds Of Faith.