Whose Journey Are We On? by Dan Spitz
Whose journey are we on? That’s a question my pastor asked last weekend, which of course got me to thinking about standing for marriage restoration. Over the past 4 and a half years, I have talked to seventy-five or more men who were experiencing the pain and hurt of divorce, and we were all gung ho at the beginning of our stand. Why? I think it was because we were on “our” journey and thought for sure that if we “changed,” our spouses would be more than willing to come back to us. Yet, after a week, several weeks, a few months and then maybe even a year or more, “our” journey looked too hard and hopeless; so many of those men have now sadly given up on “their” journey of restoration.
In our world, we are used to seeing a journey come to an end. If we go on vacation, we are gone a set time and then return. When our wives were pregnant, we knew the baby would be born in about nine months. We go to school for a set amount of time. We have jobs, projects, childhoods, and most everything in our lives has an end to the journey…even death. However, for some reason, in our stand for marriage restoration, in our obedience to God, it is common to give up on the journey.
Why is that? Some of it is obviously attributed to the influence of the enemy; but for me, it comes down to my choices and knowing whose journey I’m on. If I am on my journey, then of course the pride and selfishness in me will surface and I’ll do what my flesh desires. Yes, I want someone to love me, to have companionship and to have an intimate relationship with. God created me to want that, but He also created me to give those same things to someone else; the wife He created and chose for me to live with for the rest of my life.
So we can easily give up on our journey when it is focused on our own desires and not God. Yet when we focus on God’s Word, which is very clear about marriage and divorce, then we can let Him take us on the journey where only He can heal and restore. I wouldn’t ever attempt to repair the engine in my car or perform surgery on someone; nor would anyone else want me to because I can’t do it. And the same is true with our marriage restoration because we cannot do it. Yet we can prepare for it by letting God make the changes in us that need to be made. And we can get ready by becoming the spiritual leaders of our families. We have work to do and responsibilities, but we cannot do what only God can do and that is change hearts. Most of us have had a changed heart, which we know didn’t come about by our own doing. God worked in each of us and we have to believe, just as the Bible teaches, that He will make those changes in our spouses as well.
So until we decide we are on God’s journey and not our own, letting Him prepare the way, continuing to make the changes in us and change our spouses, we are going to get results that are not Godly or supernatural. God is a God of healing, restoration and the supernatural. And as we wait on Him to make the necessary repairs and do the heart surgery needed in both us and our spouses, He will provide the grace to do what He has called us to do.
We have to know and believe in God’s Word or it is of no use to us. We cannot be obedient if we don’t know what that means. And if we don’t trust God to keep His Word, then none of it is any use to us. Thankfully, God has provided the path for our journey! He loves us and we need to stand because we love Him; giving Him all the glory and honor and having absolutely no doubt that He will complete what He has begun! And GOD’S journey will indeed take us to an incredible marriage; the one He intended for us to have in the first place.
Thank you so much for reminding me that it’s not about me and that this is the Lord’s journey.I felt like giving up myself recently because I was focused on my loneliness and my own efforts. But every time I’m reminded that this is for God’s glory and in keeping with His Word, I get renewed strength. Thanks again and God Bless you.