Show your Prodigal the Love of Jesus! By Stephanie
(Note from Linda: The FAM members were once again blessed by the following testimony from Stephanie sharing The Prodigal Perspective, which I’m sure will bless everyone standing for marriage restoration and struggling to understand their beloved spouses’ behavior, because it’s such an important message. As Proverbs 19:22 states, What a man desires is unfailing love. …, and understanding that helps us better understand the works of the devil because he very effectively uses that against us and our prodigal spouses. As humans, when we don’t feel loved, we tend to look for it elsewhere and then having found what we thought was love in all of the wrong places, we understandably find it impossible to believe that the person whose love we already doubted could ever forgive and love us again. Yet, men and women standing for marriage restoration all say that they love their spouses more now than ever before, which is something ONLY God can do! But it’s important to note that love is something we DO according to 1 Corinthians 13 and not just words we say, and when we demonstrate unconditional love on a consistent basis, we will see the hand of God move on our behalf and our marriages restored. So let’s learn to show the love of Jesus and we will be blessed and encouraged! Because according to God, love is greater than either faith or hope!)
Hello my FAMM family! I wanted to write another post because something reminded me of my “prodigal moments” and I feel it’s really important to share with all of you.
I actually felt good about sharing my experience as a prodigal in my last posts, but as I became more and more at peace, the enemy showed up and tried to keep me from sharing again. My husband had stayed with me and our kids for a few days and then started going back to his mom’s, so there were times when I needed to read my own posts for strength. Of course, the enemy told me how terrible it was that I was reading my own posts…how could I help others when I can’t even help myself…and lots of other crazy stuff. At first, I was agreeing with him and feeling really bad, but then the Holy Spirit stepped in and showed me the lie I was being fed. He took me down memory lane and reminded me of all the things the enemy had told me when I was a prodigal. Satan was just up to his old tricks again, but he’s a loser and God is on my side! Praise God!! So I want to use my testimony about the time I was held in Satan’s captivity to help others stand and to glorify God!
The Holy Spirit gently reminded me of the time when as a prodigal, I felt –I had gone too far to be forgiven. And I was convinced that I was unlovable and that there was no way my spouse would take me back. I can assure you all that if your prodigal spouse is not there already, they will be there at some point. The illusion of happiness, contentment and being fulfilled without you, our spouse, is just fleeting and temporary. But then Satan tells us that we’ve gone too far this time and that you would never forgive us. He reminds us of what friends/family might think and that no one will accept us or get past our sin. And he reminds us of how disappointed God must be with us, how unworthy we are to call ourselves Christian (to those of us who are), and how unworthy we are to call ourselves someone’s “husband” or “wife.” (John 10:10) So as prodigals, we begin to not only hate our sin, but ourselves. We don’t love ourselves, so how could anyone else love us?
So when you see our up and down emotions, that’s usually when we are battling our sin and our emotions toward that sin. We don’t know what to do, where to turn, or who to turn to. Surely not God; we’ve turned our backs on him for too long. So where do we go for help; for comfort; for love?
Are you ready, guys–this is YOUR cue. Camera, lights, action—-you’re on–show us! Show us that YOU love us. (Hosea 3:1)
When we believe we’ve gone too far and we don’t know how to get back to you—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Ephesians 2:4-5)
When we have spent countless days/hours hearing Satan’s condemnations and we speak/behave badly towards you (because we are angry/disappointed in ourselves)—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Psalm 86:15)
When we indicate or tell you that we don’t love you (because we don’t love ourselves and can’t imagine why you would)—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Psalm 36:5)
By doing that, you are the reminder of God’s love that we so desperately need. So show your spouse the love of Christ within you. That is what your prodigal sees that makes them look at you with awe, with delighted confusion, and amazement. How can you love us (the prodigal) considering everything we’ve done? What they don’t realize is that it is not you alone; it is Christ within you. (John 15:9 and 1 John 4:4)
He has brought us all to this journey to show us how much he loves us. He has changed our hearts and has given us an unshakable compassion and love for our spouses. Why? And why the spouse that has hurt us so deeply? Because YOU are the ONE FLESH partner and you are no longer two people but ONE!!! (Matthew 19:5) YOU are the one who holds HIS PROMISE and COVENANT! God knows what is happening on the other side of the mountain. He knows the situation your prodigal is in and He hears the destructive and hurtful lies the enemy is speaking to your spouse. So God uses YOU, the person he created for your spouse to INTERCEDE for him/her. God does not want your spouse to be deceived by Satan, so your stand is two fold; for yourself and your closer walk and obedience to God and for your spouse and their deliverance and salvation or return to the Lord. You are the divine part of your spouse that God will use to show them that they are not so far gone that God’s love can’t bring them home. Please, there is no one else that we really trust to show us love more than YOU (not even the NCP). And one day your marriage will be restored and you will get to share with your spouse all about God’s love!!!
With all my love,
Stephanie
P.S. Even if your spouse is not with an NCP, your command to love still applies!
Stephanie, I thank God for using you to share your experiences as a prodigal and giving standing spouses in depth perspective of what our spouses are thinking and going through. I revisit your posts very often and I cannot begin to explain how encouraging/motivating they are. I pray and trust that God will bless you in return for blessing us.
Stephanie, I enjoy reading your post. It helps me see what my spouse might be going through. We have been separated for four and a half years and he is living with a NCP. He only communicates through text messaging or the few minutes I see him when he picks up our boys for visits. But we have not talked at all about getting divorced. Standing for marriage restoration is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, but I’m so encouraged to hear that things on the other side of the mountain might not be what they appear to be.
I give my marriage to God every day and trust that he will move those mountains. God Bless You!
This post has helped me so much. I can’t thank you enough. YES, these articles are still being read in 2013!!!
Thank you so much for this post! It’s such an encouragement right now to keep standing. I see my husband’s emotions go up and down and that he has a hard time forgiving himself and has bought into the lies of Satan. But I am trusting God to restore our marriage and use this time to build my relationship with Him.