Living Life More Abundantly! by Stephanie
(Note from Linda: As always, we were all blessed when Stephanie shared the following message on the private FAM Fellowship website because she really hit the nail on the head! Jesus came to give us abundant lives and we do not glorify Him when we continue to live in the miserable state many standers make of their lives while waiting for the restoration of their marriages. But when we live in the faith and victory Jesus came to give us, we give others a reason to believe in and receive Him as their Lord and Savior and when our faith brings about the restoration of our marriages and families, Jesus is lifted up, His kingdom is magnified and glorified, and HE will draw all men to Himself (John 12:32)! So let’s learn to live life more abundantly and we will indeed be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!)
Hello Everyone!
I want to share another very important lesson I just learned. This past weekend was my wedding anniversary and I had anticipated that I would be doing something with my husband, especially since we had seen each other so much the week before. But he didn’t contact me at all that day, so I decided to drop my children off at my mom’s, and treated myself to dinner and a movie; which is something I never would have done by myself in the past. I was hurt, angry and disappointed. And I was frustrated with myself, my husband and the whole situation. I even thought about all of the scriptures we all know and love so much; particularly Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11, but I still wondered what kind of good plan could come of this, and I sat at the restaurant feeling lonely, depressed, abandoned and rejected. But it was those very feelings that taught me an invaluable lesson. Simply put; God does not want us to live with those feelings, because He wants us to live life ABUNDANTLY! So I was just letting the devil steal, kill and destroy!
More than likely, most of us tend to think about marriage restoration day in and day out, and often become prisoners of our own thoughts because our emotions, behavior, prayers, and time with the Lord are significantly impacted and influenced by what our spouses are and are not saying and doing, or what our current circumstances happen to be. Yet while we live our lives as “standers” and wait for marriage restoration in God’s perfect timing, we are not meant to be angry, lonely, depressed or whatever negative emotions we naturally tend to experience while we wait.! And even though it is important to know the scriptures that comfort us so much, there’s no doubt that God does not want us to require so much comforting. He obviously wants us to change our FOCUS and to stop spending so much time fretting and thinking about marriage restoration that it becomes the driving force of our lives and who we are (Philippians 4:4-9).
We are so much more than “standers” and God wants us to be thankful and content with where we are at any given time (1 Thessalonians 5:18 and Philippians 4:11). His plan is for us to have good lives and He even sent Jesus to die on the cross to enable us to live life more abundantly (John 10:10 NASB). So God does not want us to waste valuable time and energy on the negative emotions often associated with standing for marriage restoration. Restoring our marriages is God’s work, and He does not need or want our help! But He does want us to DO something with the gifts, talents and abilities he has given each of us for His glory and the furtherance of His kingdom.
So I learned a very important lesson about letting go; that it actually means moving on with our lives and living in peace (1 Corinthians 7:15). Of course, that’s not the “moving on” that naysayers tell us we need to do, but God’s kind of moving on–which is moving out of the way and letting God work. And letting go and getting out of God’s way means that we don’t have to concern ourselves with how God is going to restore our marriages, when he’s going to do it, or what WE need to do to make it happen, etc. For example…a child is waiting for dinner to be ready, and he is VERY hungry…the same way we desire marriage restoration. The child can smell the food cooking…the same as when we see positive changes in our spouses. And the child knows that the dinner will taste good…the same way we believe God’s promises. However, the child is SO hungry that he keeps running into the house to ask his mom when dinner will be ready…the same way we repeatedly ask God when our promise of marriage restoration will be manifested. So the child asks his mom if there is anything he can do to help speed dinner along…the same way we want to “do something” to help God. But his mom tells him to go out and play…the same way God tells us to trust Him; not to worry about it and to live life abundantly. So the child goes out to play AND has a great time because his friends are there and the sun is shining, and he even learns a new game he loves and loses track of time…the same way we do when we live fruitful lives with hearts full of praise and thanksgiving. And then his mom suddenly shouts “Dinner’s ready!”…the same way our marriage restorations occur suddenly!
Even though I was out doing something to pass the time and keep myself distracted, I was miserable and that’s NOT what God wants for me or for any of us. He knows how this is going to end, and he knows what he is doing(Isaiah 55:9) and that it will be good and that we will be overjoyed and in awe when it manifests. God doesn’t want us upset and miserable; but He does want us to enjoy and learn while on the journey.
So I encourage all of us to go out and DO something; to get involved in other things. We need to return to doing the things we loved to do before we became consumed with marriage restoration; whether it’s reading a good book, seeing a movie, working in a ministry, volunteering, or whatever feeds our spirit. And if we don’t know what we would enjoy doing, we should pray about it and let God show us the things we have forgotten. Let us no longer be held prisoners by our circumstances. Our spouses and marriages should NOT be our world and the source of our happiness and fulfillment. God is the only one Who can do that and our marriages should not take first place over God. He loves us more than our spouses can or ever will. And when we live life ABUNDANTLY, despite what is going on, we are not only TRUSTING him, we are GLORIFYING him. We all have special talents and gifts He is just waiting for us to use. We are each unique and wonderful, and He made us that way for a reason; for a purpose that NO ONE else can fulfill but US!! So, we need to hit the minimize button on marriage restoration, change our focus and live life more abundantly!!!!
With Love, Your Sister in Christ,
Stephanie
Wow! Thanks, Stephanie, for this post because I really needed to read it. I have really been working at turning my former wife over to God and trying not to try to win her back on my own. Then something good happens and I get my hopes up, and then we talk on the phone instead of just by text or email and I am so disappointed and feel rejected because her goals and desires are not anywhere near mine in regard to the restoration of our marriage. I sent her roses on what would have been our anniversary and she was very happy, but the next day she sent me a message to tell me that she is seeing someone new. I know God’s plan is for me to keep standing, but there are times I feel so hopeless. But I am learning more and more each day to trust God and I know that in the end He will either restore my marriage and we will be able to give testimony of His restoration, or He will give me the peace I need to live alone for Him.
So thanks again for sharing a message I really needed, especially after talking to her on the phone last night and being at rock bottom emotionally.
Thank you, Stephanie, for this wonderful analogy! You are so right that we get so consumed with praying for our marriages, and we need to enjoy our lives ABUNDANTLY. Several weekends ago, I was so busy with activities in my community and church and being with friends and my kids, that even though I did pray, I was not consumed and worried. And the following week, my husband asked me to dinner FOR THE FIRST TIME.
So I’m trying not to just pray for my marriage, but to join my voice with other standers for our spouses in prayer.
Again, thank you, your words are a blessing to us.
Sharyn
Hi,
My name is Carolyn. I wanted to become a member over a year ago, but I didn’t have a job then to pay the annual membership dues. But I visit your website daily, and I’m still standing for my marriage. The post from Stephanie today on Living Life more Abundantly came right on time. I had just received an email from my husband who was just deployed last week to Iraq for seven months. So I sent him an email telling him that our eight year old daughter wants to send him a care package and he responded by saying that the NCP sent him all sorts of things, that he welcomed a care package from our daughter and that I was doing a good job raising her. And just at that time, I read the message from Stephanie that really encouraged me that I shouldn’t worry about what’s being said and to concentrate on God and to continue walking by faith and not by what I hear or see. So thank you, Stephanie, for encouraging me today. Thank you and God bless everyone.
Thanks Stephanie! I was doubly blessed by your Seeds Of Faith and Carolyn’s comment. I shouldn’t worry about what’s being said and concentrate on God. Again, thank you so muchh. Reading this was a blessing for me.