Sharing a Powerful Message from one FAM Fellowship Member to Another
Something that really touches my heart and blesses me so much is seeing how the Lord works when FAM Fellowship members reach out to each other in their time of need and share how God has worked in their lives to bring them comfort and His victory when they were in the same place earlier in their stand for marriage restoration. And it’s been a real blessing to see that the men are getting so much more involved in the fellowship! In fact, over the past couple of weeks, the last seven new members in the fellowship have all been men, which is a definite record! So we look forward to seeing their names added to our Restored Marriage list in the near future as the Lord continues working in their hearts and marriages!
Since I know the response from one of our members to another this morning speaks to so many other men standing for marriage restoration, I want to share it here (with names omitted for obvious reasons) with the hope and prayer that it will speak to someone and be a great source of blessing and encouragement as you learn to stand on the power and promise of God’s Word and to rely on HIM and HIM ALONE for the full and complete restoration of your marriages and families. When we learn to truly let go and give EVERYTHING to the God Who loves us and our spouses so much, we will never be disappointed and we can’t lose! So take heed to the godly counsel in the following response from the private FAM Fellowship site and be blessed and encouraged!
MNO, heed the above advice and what God tells us in His Word. We have to support, affirm, validate and encourage our spouses. And we cannot do that when we are caught up in our selfishness and self-pity. I spent too much time wallowing in my own misery and not understanding how my wife could hurt me so much and reject me and not feel badly about it! But I now understand that I was not acknowledging her feelings and reality any more than she was mine. Even though I had admitted the problems I brought to our marriage, I was still not listening to what she was telling me. I was the best husband I knew how to be and was focused on that, and that it wasn’t my fault. But when I stopped blaming her, and started looking at myself instead of accepting the devil’s condemnation, I was able to focus on God. He had plans to change the person I was into the person He intended me to be from the beginning, but it unfortunately took this circumstance of brokenness to get me to surrender to Him; thank God! Trust me, I had plenty for God to change in me without worry about how He needed to change my wife. I did not have the anger issues that some have, but I certainly had other deep seeded strongholds that I needed to be set free from. But God is awesome; never leaving or forsaking us!
When God puts the desire in our hearts to stand for our marriages, it is not about having our marriage restored; it is about making us into the Christ-like husband His Word calls us to be. We have to be willing and humbled to give Him 100% so we can give our wives 100% regardless of what we are getting in return. When they are able to see Jesus in us, they will desire what we have and God will soften and change their hearts to desire Him, which is most important. And then as they surrender their hearts to Jesus, He will put the desire in them to be obedient and trust Him and then they will have the desire to have their marriage restored. It will be a God thing.
So I pray that you will let Jesus change you. There is nothing on earth that you can do aside from God that will change your wife’s mind. It will be her seeing Jesus in you that will move her heart towards you. She has been wounded and healing has to take place. As we wait for that healing to happen, we must give everything we have to God so He can make us into the Godly husbands, fathers, and men that by His grace and mercy, He desires for us to become.
There is no doubt that God wants marriages restored and families healed. Yet we must also realize that He wants us to live life abundantly and that can only be done by following Him and letting the Holy Spirit work in us. God loves our wives more than we do, and He loves us. None of us will ever hurt or suffer more than He did when He sent Jesus to suffer and die for our sins. By standing for our marriages, we have the opportunity to show the world that we have victory in Jesus as we trust and obey Him, and that God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. God is the truth, the way and the life and we have the privilege of proving that to the world.
So, hang in there and let go, and let God bless you both by giving you the marriage He intended for you in the first place.