Stand Firm in Faith and confidence in God’s Word and Will!
Based on conversations with FAM Fellowship members, the email I receive and search phrases that bring people to Faith And Marriage Ministries (FAMM), it’s obvious that one of the most challenging issues for many standing for the restoration of their marriages is standing itself. More than likely, the search phrases that often bring people to FAMM express a question many “standers” have, even when not verbalized. And that’s how long we should stand for the restoration of our marriages. And as always, the best way to address that is to see what the Bible says about standing.
First and foremost, just asking such a question indicates that we probably need to seriously examine our reasons and motives for standing for the restoration of our marriages in the first place, and that they are probably not what they should be. So it’s important to take a minute to HONESTLY answer this question. Why are you standing for the restoration of your marriage? Since that’s something I often ask men and women, I know what the typical answers are. And based on what James 4:3 tells us about why our prayers are not answered, they are often cause for concern, because it says When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
The ONLY answer to the “why” question that keeps us from asking the “how long” question is that we stand “in obedience and submission to the Word and will of God.” That’s why everyone standing for marriage restoration MUST first determine the will of God for their situation through serious and diligent Bible study and prayer and fasting. That’s the ONLY way we can ever stand firm for the restoration of our marriages…NO MATTER WHAT. And as Isaiah 7:9 tells us …>If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.'” When we stand for the restoration of our marriages in obedience and submission to Christ, we make HIM the priority in our lives, and NOT our husbands or wives and not the restoration of our marriages. In fact, many of us made the mistake of putting our spouses and marriages above our walk and relationship with the Lord, and the Bible is full of passages clearly warning us that GOD will take anything we place before Him away from us. We know God is faithful to bring His Word and will to pass (Numbers 23:19, Isaiah 46:9-11, Isaiah 55:10-11), and the very first commandment from God is that we put no other god before Him; yet many of us are guilty of doing exactly that in terms of our spouses and marriages. But we shouldn’t expect the Lord to restore relationships we want or think we need more than Him, because it just won’t happen! However, we CAN rely on the promise found in Matthew 6:32-33, which says For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So our PRIMARY focus should be seeking the Lord and His righteousness, and then HE will give us everything we need and what we seek after, including the restoration of our marriages.
The bottom line is that obedience and submission to the Word and will of Christ through our faith and confidence in Him is the ONLY foundation strong enough to withstand the storms and trials of standing for marriage restoration, and the ONLY thing strong enough to hold our marriages together once the Lord restores them. And Jesus gives us a very powerful illustration of that in the following verses from Matthew 7:
24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.
27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
So be blessed and encouraged by the following verses and remember to stand firm in faith and confidence in the Word and will of God, and in the knowledge that HE is the one who WILL restore our marriages.
Proverbs 10:25
When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever.
Exodus 14:13
Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.
1 Samuel 12:16
“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!
James 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.
2 Corinthians 1:20-22
For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
Psalm 33:11
But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.