In response to yesterday’s Seeds Of Faith post, Overcoming the Hold Pride has on our Flesh, a visitor to the site shared how not taking matters into her own hands is such a struggle for her personally, as it is for ALL of us! She also acknowledged the need to take our thoughts captive; because God’s ways are always better than what we can do ourselves. And since that’s SO true and very important for all of us to understand as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, I wanted to respond to Kathy in today’s post, especially since God’s ways are also VERY different than ours!

And since the challenge to overcome feelings of being taken for granted or taken advantage of and avoiding our natural self-defense mechanisms is also something everyone standing for marriage restoration tends to struggle with as well; it’s important to understand what the Word teaches. And that begins with understanding the awesome power of forgiveness and not keeping a record of wrongs, because that’s the only way to deny pride’s hold in our lives and overcome our natural tendencies to rationalize our own efforts to manage or make things right.

When asked, it’s probably safe to assume that we’d all say we love our spouses; yet 1 Peter 4:8 says that love covers a multitude of sin. In fact, it actually tells us Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. And then Proverbs 10:12 tells us that Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. And since Dictionary.com defines dissension as strong disagreement; a contention or quarrel; discord, we need to pay very close attention; because this is the difference between love and hate according to the Word of God, which Hebrews 4:12 tells us judges the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts, and we certainly want to be found to have love in our hearts and not hatred. And then when we study God’s definition of love in <1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we see that love isn’t even supposed to keep a record of wrongs, because it says:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And we surely know that’s not possible without the grace of God!

So if we say we love our spouses, we obviously have to forgive them. And that means that as hard as it is to do and as difficult as it is to understand; even considering how we’ve been taken advantage of is not walking in love or humbling ourselves as the Bible tells us to do time and time again. And when we’re in that frame of mind and attitude, we’re NOT very likely to give up our coat or turn the other cheek; much less follow the instructions Jesus gave us in Luke 6:27-32 (NKJV), when He said:
27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.
29 To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either.
30 Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back.
31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.
32 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.

Should there still be any doubt in anyone’s mind that God’s ways and thoughts are indeed so much different and higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), the above passage should certainly settle the matter, because it’s SO contrary to our human nature and anything we’d naturally be inclined to do! Yet, when we truly walk in the power of the Holy Spirit that resides within us as Christians, WE CAN DO IT! And seeing it physically and literally walked out in the lives of men and women who have truly put their faith and confidence in the power and promise of God’s Word as they stood for the restoration of their marriages, has been one of the most powerful instruments of marriage restoration I’ve been blessed and humbled to witness! And I still stand in total amazement and awe of how I’ve seen that power at work to restore so many marriages and families! When we walk in the control of our flesh and fail to walk by the power of the Holy spirit as we submit to the wisdom, power and promise of God’s Word, we end up with the world’s results; separation, divorce and nothing but heartache and disappointment and dealing with the harm and damage done to our children and their children for generations. But when we truly understand and stand in absolute faith and confidence on the power and promise of God’s Word, we WILL defy the ways of the world and see the restoration of our marriages and families for the glory of Jesus Christ! Yes, Kathy, God’s ways are most certainly ALWAYS better! And He just keeps proving that to us over and over again as we continue to see Him miraculously restoring what the world would call hopeless marriages; just as we were blessed to see Him do again today! So trust the Lord and commit to doing things HIS way, and you WILL BE blessed and encouraged!

Posted Thursday, January 17th, 2008 at 8:53 pm in Seeds Of Faith.