GOD IS USING US! by Lisa in Florida
(Note from Linda: The following message and testimony was shared on the private website yesterday and I asked Lisa’s permission to share it here because it is such a significant message and powerful testimony for everyone standing for marriage restoration; especially as we have all been blessed to witness the Lord’s miracle of restoration so powerfully at work in Lisa’s marriage and family! So read it and learn from it and you will indeed be blessed and encouraged; because when you DO as God’s Word says, the Lord WILL most certainly move on your behalf just as He has for her! And not only has her relationship with her husband been restored, but she just started the job of her dreams last week too!)
As we stand on the power and promise of GOD’S Word for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families, it is vitally important for us to fully understand and implement the instructions given in Colossians 3:23-25, which says:
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
(And check out the Amplified Bible version as well.)
So no matter what the situation with our spouse, we should never say or think “He/She is just using me.” Instead we must KNOW and understand that GOD IS USING US! Nd we must come to realize that since we are the ones called to “stand” for our marriages, God requires complete obedience from us and that we have to obey His word no matter how we feel or what we think. And we need to understand that we are also the very vessel God will use and work through to bring restoration to our marriages. Therefore our assignment is to submit to God! And when submitting to God, we surrender and rely completely on HIS WORD (The Holy Bible) ONLY, and not on our thoughts; not on our emotions; not on worldly opinions or worldly advice; not on our education and not on our upbringing (traditions, sayings, social status, etc.).
With this in mind; there will undoubtedly be times when our spouses ask or expect something of us in certain situations that we feel is going above and beyond the “call of duty” or that requires us to give up our so-called “rights or entitlements.” Unfortunately, that’s when thoughts usually come to our minds like; “It’s just not fair.” or “He/She is just using me.”
Yet Colossians 3:23 states “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, NOT FOR MEN (in our case, our spouses). And, if by chance our spouses have wrong motives, we have God’s assurance in verse 25 that “Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.” So they are not getting away with anything, even though it may SEEM otherwise to us; we have GOD’S Word on that.
And look at what we get when we do things GOD’S way; verse 24 says “since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.” And our earthly reward is a restored marriage! Praise God!
So we need to read and study the entire chapter of Colossians 3, and pull out every precious nugget of wisdom and godly counsel and PUT IT INTO PRACTICE! And we must ALWAYS check our motives for doing everything we say and do! Amen.
It was my failure to understand this and the resulting damage to my own marriage that taught me how important this is as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families. After my husband and I separated, he would call and ask me to pay his bills online, or constantly ask me to do this or that for him. And after a while, I got tired of it and when he called, I would tell him, “The only reason you’re calling me is because you want me to do something for you.” And he would reply “Because I need your help.” So after a while, I just stopped answering his phone calls because I kept repeatedly thinking and saying “He is only using me!” In fact, one time I even called him and said “Don’t ask me to help you or your children with anything else, I don’t want to be bothered anymore.” He immediately came over to the house and asked what I was going through and if I was alright. I told him yes, but that I thought he was just using me and I was tired of it. After that, he stopped calling me and whenever I called him from that point on, he wouldn’t answer my calls and would call me back whenever he decided to. And when he did talk to me, he was very cold hearted toward me and things just got worse from there; and not just in my relationship with my husband.
Back in March of this year, I lost my job because even though I was totally in the right in a certain situation; the way I handle it was wrong. Again, I FELT like I was being used in that situation just because my boss felt he could. But that’s when I was forced to take a long hard look at ME and MY WAYS!
One of the areas I had to deal with was my marriage and once I decided to stand for my marriage, I had to allow God to change how I thought, felt, spoke and saw every situation in my life involving my husband, his children, my children and people in general. Everything about me had to change or nothing would improve. God had to literally bring me to nothing; that’s how stubborn and prideful I was and my husband could not stand that about me. After finally submitting to God and allowing him to change me and my outlook according to the word of God, I can truly say “To God be the Glory for the GREAT things He has done!”
So the question is “Do we REALLY trust God?” Let’s look at what the holy women of 1 Peter 3:5-6(AMP) did; For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who TRUSTED GOD also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord whose daughters you are if you DO GOOD and are NOT AFRAID with any terror.
It’s so important to realize that when we pray and petition God for something, how we respond in the very situation we are praying about actually determines the answer we get. We have to remember that God is ONLY obligated to HIS WORD and nothing else! So we have to make sure that our hearts are pure before God and that they are full of love, because the greatest Gift is Love.
1 Corinthians 3: 4-8 (AMP) – Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].
So the next time we find ourselves in any scenario involving our spouses that causes us to feel as though we are being taken advantage of or taken for granted; instead of thinking or saying my spouse is using me; say “GOD is using me.” And our whole outlook on the matter will change and the ultimate outcome will be more restored marriages! WE MUST GIRD UP OUR LOINS WITH TRUTH!!!
My prayer is that our hearts will be open and receptive to receive what God is imparting to all of us! I love you all very much and know that I am praying for everyone.
Lisa, thank you for sharing your powerful testimony and insight; I know it will be used to bless many others struggling with the same issues, because WE ALL DO AND HAVE! But the good news is that we CAN and WILL overcome our flesh nature when we walk in the power and promise of God’s Word and allow it to transform us into the likeness of Christ. And as you so wisely point out, that means living pure before the lord and with HEARTS FULL OF LOVE!!! Unfortunately, until we let the Lord come in and cleanse out all of the yuk (bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment, pride, self-righteousness, etc.), there’s no room for God or love in our hearts! And what we wrongly call love is not love at all; at least certainly not based on God’s definition of love as shared in your post. As 1 Corinthians 13 makes VERY clear; it doesn’t matter what else we do if we don’t have love! And isn’t it interesting that the Word also tells us that UNFAILING love is what EVERY man (and woman) desires! And when we allow our hearts to be filled up with love, we are transformed so totally and completely that our spouses are indeed captivated by our love and we’re just supernaturally irresistible; which is exactly what we see happening here time after time! So to the extent we allow God to work in US, our spouses will respond and their hearts will turn back to us and our marriages and families will be restored.
As we’ve discussed privately; God wants us to have a sin consciousness; but ONLY of our own sin, and as long as we are looking at what someone else is doing wrong or not doing, we have no real consciousness or understanding of OUR own sin; and God can’t and won’t work in us and through us until we do. The three examples of that which come to mind right now are the woman caught in adultery–let him who is WITHOUT sin casst the first stone; the speck in someone’s eyes vs. the plank in ours–remove the plank out of your own eye and THEN you can see clearly to help someone remove the speck in theirs; winning spiritual warfare by taking thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ/the Word–we will be ready to deal with THEIR disobedience WHEN YOUR OBEDIENCE IS MADE COMPLETE!
God knows very well that what He calls us to do as Christians is not easy, because Jesus told us that to follow Him, we have to pick up our cross daily, which means continually crucifying our flesh. Yet, Jesus also told us that HIS yoke is easy and HIS burdens are light. That’s why apart from Him and continually abiding in His Word, we can do NOTHING! Yet, when we abide in Him, we can and will bear much fruit, His grace is sufficient, and we can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us!
I can’t wait to see how the Lord will continue to bless and reward you because you are sowing so much for His kingdom and glory into the lives of others, and God is ALWAYS so faithful to richly and graciously bless and reward us when we do that! As I shared in another response: we ALWAYS get what we give and a LOT more of it!