Discouragement is one of the most persistent battles everyone standing for marriage restoration has to overcome, especially when months drift into years and there’s NO evidence that our husbands (or wives) are EVER coming back to us. While almost everyone talks and preaches about faith, it occurred to me this morning as I considered the discouragement some of our ladies are experiencing, that one thing we don’t hear much about is confidence, and there is actually a BIG difference between the two. Dictionary.com says that confidence is The state or quality of being certain. And faith is Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. I really LOVE that definition of faith, because it so clearly illustrates where discouraged standers go wrong. We keep trying to analyze and evaluate the status of our marriages and the potential for their restoration based on logic and material evidence. Well, guess what? That’s NOT faith, and it’s not God glorifying. Not to mention that it actually displeases God, as Hebrews 10:38 tells us, But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.” And we see the same message again in Hebrews 11:6, which says And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. But the GOOD NEWS is that there IS something WE can do when we struggle with living by faith, because Romans 10:17 (NLT) tells us Yet faith comes from listening to this message of good news–the Good News about Christ.

So if we want to please God, not only do we have to believe something that TOTALLY defies logic and goes against everything the material evidence supports, but we have to be CERTAIN of that which defies logic and all of the available material evidence! And here are excerpts from Dictionary.com’s definition of certain:
2. Sure to come or happen; inevitable: certain success.
3. Established beyond doubt or question; indisputable.
4. Capable of being relied on; dependable: a quick and certain remedy.
And no matter how we try to get around it, there’s only one reason we’re not CERTAIN that God will deliver on EVERY promise found in His word, and that’s a failure to KNOW and BELIEVE His word. So, going back to Dictionary.com, here are excerpts from the definition of know:
1. To perceive directly; grasp in the mind with clarity or certainty.
2. To regard as true beyond doubt.
3. To have a practical understanding of, as through experience; be skilled in.
4. To have fixed in the mind: knows her Latin verbs.
5. To have experience of.
a. To perceive as familiar; recognize: I know that face.
b. To be acquainted with: He doesn’t know his neighbors.
7. To be able to distinguish; recognize as distinct:
knows right from wrong.
8. To discern the character or nature of: knew him for a liar.
And here are excerpts from the definition of believe:
1. To accept as true or real: Do you believe the news stories?
2. To credit with veracity: I believe you.
1. To have firm faith, especially religious faith.
2. To have faith, confidence, or trust:
I believe in your ability to solve the problem.
3. To have confidence in the truth or value of something:
We believe in free speech.
One thing I know everyone involved in marriage restoration ministry would agree with is that there’s NO way to know and believe, or to have faith and confidence in the word of God without spending a lot of time studying and meditating on what the ENTIRE Bible says. And while there are exceptions to most things, for the most part, the people most likely to experience the restoration of their marriages are those who put the Lord first by setting aside significant time for prayer and studying His word. And I know for CERTAIN, that in EVERY case, the ONLY way to glorify the Lord by walking through the trials and challenges of standing for marriage restoration with the righteousness, peace and joy He came to give us (Romans 14:17), is to devote quality time in prayer and Bible study. And the bottom line is that there IS a VERY direct correlation between our devotion to prayer and understanding God’s word and how much we battle discouragement.

So, now that we’ve established the difference between faith and confidence, and hopefully have a better understanding of what keeps us from having both, the following verses illustrate why it’s so important for us to have CONFIDENCE in the Lord and every promise He gives us in His love letter and owner’s manual to us as His beloved creation, which is the Bible.

2 Chronicles 32:8
With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.

Psalm 71:4-6
Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of evil and cruel men. For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you.

Proverbs 3:26
for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Hebrews 3:13-14
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.

Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 10:19-23
Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:35
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

Hebrews 13:6
So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

1 John 3:18-24
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

1 John 4:16-18
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

(1 John 5 – Faith in the Son of God)
1 John 5:13-15
I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Psalm 27 is a very encouraging chapter for anyone standing for marriage restoration, so I couldn’t resist including the whole chapter as follows!
The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD. Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

And the next time we feel like quitting and giving up, when we don’t even want to pray anymore, we have to remember and read Luke 18:1-8 (The Parable of the Persistent Widow), which says Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’ ” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” Ouch! That “HOWEVER” really hurts! Because it sounds a whole lot more like “BUT…”, and a great reminder of why we have to apply Psalm 27:13-14, because it says I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Posted Wednesday, August 9th, 2006 at 8:47 pm in Seeds Of Faith.