Overcoming Confusion And Uncertainty
Divorce is quite often said to be even worse than death, which is so understandable, because with death there is a sense of finality that eliminates the uncertainty and confusion created by marital separation and divorce. Even though there are many emotions to deal with when our husbands leave, confusion is probably at the top of the list for most of us. And two of the things we’re usually most confused about are how and why this happened and what we’re supposed to do now that it has.
The first question is something we’ll probably never fully understand or have answered with real specificity, and women who insist on trying to make their husbands explain what they themselves don’t really understand, do great damage to the restoration process. So this is definitely one of those times in our lives when we REALLY need to apply the wise counsel found in Proverbs 3:5-6, which says Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. In fact, that probably gives us the only answer that matters as to why we are where we are today, because Jeremiah 18:15 says Yet my people have forgotten me; they burn incense to worthless idols, which made them stumble in their ways and in the ancient paths. They made them walk in bypaths and on roads not built up. And we know separation and divorce is not God’s way or path or what He intended for us, because we know He hates separation and divorce based on Malachi 2:16 (NKJV), which says For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “ Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
So when we failed to walk in God’s ways, and when we failed to give Him the place He demands in our lives, we were walking in the dark and we were bound to stumble just as Jesus warned in John 11:8-9, which says Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world’s light. It is when he walks by night that he stumbles, for he has no light.” And then Hosea 14:9 tells us Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand them. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them. And there’s no more important passage of scripture for women standing for marriage restoration that better illustrates the absolute truth of that than 1 Peter 3:1-6, which says:
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
So if I were told that I had to pick just one passage of scripture for all women standing for marriage restoration, it would have to be 1 Peter 3:1-6, because of its vitally important instruction, and because I have NO doubt that the women who come the closest to consistently walking it out are the ones who experience the restoration of their marriages. However, just as Hosea 14:9 says, it will become a stumbling block for those who rebel against it. But the women who understand it and consistently practice it will know and experience the awesome promise and assurance found in Psalm 119:165, which says Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble. And it’s only through God’s grace and unshakeable faith in Him that we’re able to walk out these important biblical principles, especially when facing so much change in our lives, where there’s nothing more than confusion and uncertainty in the natural realm of things. However, we also have to understand that our stand for marriage restoration is NOT about works. Instead it’s really about facing the fear of change and uncertainty with absolute faith in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, because when we put our trust in HIM, we will NOT be put to shame, as Romans 9:31-33 assures us, but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it. Why not? Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works. They stumbled over the “stumbling stone.” As it is written: “See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” And when we keep our eyes on Jesus, and put our trust in Him, we can rely on the wisdom found in Proverbs 4:12, which says When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. So when the uncertainty and confusion naturally caused by marital separation or divorce threaten to overwhelm us, we need to remember that 1 Corinthians 14:33 (NKJV) tells us For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. And Philippians 4:6-8 gives us very specific instructions about how to avoid confusion and experience the peace we desperately want, because it says Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. So the next time confusion and uncertainty threaten to overwhelm us, we need to be doers of the word and not just hearers only, and then the Lord WILL be glorified!