In the past couple of weeks, several FAM Fellowship members have had to sign legal documents agreeing to the dissolution of their marriages or had a divorce finalized. And while it’s been a very trying time, as He always does, the Lord has brought new insight and understanding. First, we all have a difficult time acknowledging that our marriages are dead; but when a spouse is so unhappy that they want a divorce or look elsewhere for happiness; the marriage IS dead. And the longer we take to acknowledge that, the longer we will wait to see the restoration we want. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 says To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. But then 1 Corinthians 7:15 says But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

So there’s NO doubt God doesn’t want separation or divorce, but in His infinite wisdom, God tells us exactly what to do when our spouses DO leave, and that is to LET THEM GO! Yet, that is probably the most difficult part of standing for marriage restoration, because in human terms, we just can’t begin to make sense of that. How can God ask us to stand for our marriages and then tell us to let our spouses walk right out of our lives and into God alone knows what? Well, the answer is pretty simple really. God wants us to let them go, so HE can begin to work in their hearts and in their circumstances, because He knows that as long as we hang onto them, it will hinder that process and could keep it from ever happening. God knows that without a burial, there can’t be a resurrection, so He’s just telling us to bury our dead marriages so HE can resurrect them and then all of the glory will be His!

In our own family in just the past two weeks, we have seen totally bazaar things happen around signing divorce papers and having a divorce go through, and none of it sounds like couples that are indeed getting divorced or who will remain divorced very long! One of our ladies even put it this way; she said that when she signed the papers she had dreaded signing for so log, because she felt it would be like signing a death certificate; she finally realized that instead it was a lot more like signing a birth certificate! Immediately after signing the divorce papers, her husband asked her out for a date and ended up staying at her house for the next four days; and they have been separated for three years! And another one of our ladies received a dozen roses from her husband and he kissed her for the first time in ages…just a matter of days AFTER their divorce was final!!! And yet another of our ladies’ husband felt free to introduce his children to the NCP after the final papers were signed; only to discover how strongly they objected to what he was doing, which came as quite a surprise to him and caused him great concern, and he seems to be reconsidering for the first time, or at least giving more realistic thought to what he’s doing. And the following was posted on the men’s site by one of our men who is in the final stages of his wife’s divorce process. When we truly put all of our hope and expectation in the Lord, we have no reason to fear divorce papers or even a divorce, because when something is dead and buried, the only thing left that glorifies Jesus Christ is resurrection! So be blessed and encouraged and trust God no matter what you face. And here’s an awesome message of hope and encouragement from one of our FAM Fellowship member who finally gets it, and whom I thank for allowing me to share his testimony here:

“This morning, I found out that my wife has submitted the “final” papers for the divorce she seeks. The praise is that “it doesn’t matter” and I really do believe that!! This past weekend, God really brought me to a new spiritual level, so I knew He was preparing me for something. He revealed hindrances to my spiritual growth and I was able to repent and turn even more over to Him.

First of all, I was still being consumed with selfishness. (That hurts! But the freedom it brought is wonderful!) I have dreaded hearing “We can be “friends” now.” I didn’t want to be friends; I wanted to be spouses. (Like a divorce is going to end that covenant!) I wanted love; not friendship. I wanted her to be in love with me. Then of course, God pointed out to me that we became friends in the first place and then grew to love each other. He asked me why I thought He was not going to have that happen again. Well, I had no answer as usual.

The next message God had for me was that my marriage is dead! Boy, did I shed some tears over that one. Fortunately, He did not just reveal that and leave me. I realized that I was hanging on to a marriage that not even I wanted. Why would I want a marriage that had such severe strife that my wife would ask for a divorce? It had become unhealthy for both of us. What kept me clinging to it was the devil telling me that a horrible marriage was better than NO marriage. And I thought that was a valid reason. Again, I was not trusting God for His promise to restore our covenant relationship. To us humans, when something is dead, it is gone, discarded and never to be again. What God had been telling me all along was that He was planning a new, incredible marriage way beyond what either of us could imagine; a marriage with Him at the center is what He will resurrect.

What a lack of faith and trust in God! I was not being the obedient person I sure thought I was. Thank God He knows I am trying as hard as I can, and He poured out His grace and mercy on me.

How awesome God is in getting us ready for what is coming our way. Nothing goes without His knowing and His timing. I would have never imagined a few short months ago that I would be praising and glorifying God when I got the dreaded news! I do trust and believe God is working in my wife’s heart and He will bring about complete restoration of our covenant marriage! He keeps His promises and always completes what He starts.

The Burns’ messages this past week also led me to pray in accordance with what God was preparing me for. I told Linda I was oozing with the fruits of the spirit; God had my emotions covered, and I knew His will and purpose for me. He allowed me discernment, insight and vision, and had brought me to a higher level of spiritual maturity. No more of Satan bouncing me around like a ping pong ball. He has been whacked!

Just wanted to share the Burns’ messages that helped me again:

I will make you aware of hindering forces that have been sent against you to keep you from moving in a divine flow. Set yourselves to see spiritually that which has held you back and remember that I have given you authority to overcome everything that would impede or block you from achieving My will and purposes for you. Be strong and move through these obstructions by the power of My Spirit, says the Lord.

Watch for signs of an attack from the enemy that will cause you to experience frustration and irritation. Refuse to allow these emotions to rule. Make the decision and carry out the choice to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-23) in making every moment holy and pristine. Recognize that this intrusion from the devil is for the purpose of separating you from Me, says the Lord, for you cannot maintain fellowship with Me when you take a position that is against My word and My nature

Now is a time when you can yield to My Spirit and develop greater discernment, insight and vision. Make the most of the opportunities that present themselves to gain understanding and revelation of My work in your life to bring you to a higher level of spiritual maturity. These opportunities will reveal places where fear and insecurity have kept you from the liberty of knowing who you are in Me, says the Lord. Galatians 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.

(Editor’s Note: The Small Straws messages can be accessed at this link, where you can also sign up to receive them by email.)

Posted Friday, August 3rd, 2007 at 7:05 pm in Seeds Of Faith.