There’s SO much in the following word of one of our FAM member’s testimony, which she recently posted on the private website, that I asked permission to share it here because I know many could and should learn so much from it to use to keep the devil from stealing, killing and destroying once their marriages are restored, or even on the way to being restored; much of which speaks for itself. And I thank her for sharing in such a frank and honest way how she, by her own hands, tore down her own house and failed to put into practice all she had learned here to work together with God to bring her husband back home in the first place. And I love the analogies she drew in her situation with her Sunday School lesson too; because there’s just no doubt about it…GOD’S WAYS ARE NOT OUR WAYS, BUT HIS WAYS ALWAYS WORK (Isaiah 55:8-11 and Luke 6:46-49)!!!

But the one thing I think she missed, which I want to point out is just HOW GOD’S WAY WORKED! I don’t for one minute think jumping up and down and making her car shake is what dislodged dirt in the gas filter and enabled her to drive the rest of the way home. No way! I think that was a SUPERNATURAL ACT OF GOD BECAUSE she SUBMITTED TO HER HUSBAND IN EVERYTHING AS UNTO THE LORD (Ephesians 5:22-24 and 1 Peter 3:1-6)! Just like Sarah submitted when Abraham asked her to hide the fact that they were married to save his own hide and for his own enrichment, and allowed herself to be taken into the King’s and pharaoh’s harems without giving way to fear because she put her hope in God, and HE SAVED AND VINDICATED HER (Genesis 12 and Genesis 20), MNO (member name omitted) submitted to the instructions from her husband and GOD ACTED SUPERNATURALLY ON her BEHALF!!! Now that’s what being humble before our husbands and under the mighty hand of God is all about (1 Peter 5:5-7)! This is such a powerful example of how God moves so mightily in our lives and circumstances when we just TRUST AND OBEY HIM! So I hope and pray that the truly significant and powerful message in this part of the word of MNO’s testimony will indeed be used in the lives of many to overcome, hurl down and DEFEAT the devil for years to come (Revelation 12:10-11)! When we REALLY get the power and promise of just TRUSTING AND OBEYING GOD, we will indeed be blessed and encouraged beyond belief (Psalm 37:5-6 and Proverbs 3:5-6)!!!

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Greetings Everyone!

I so love to read all of your posts and I have been blessed in so many ways by your testimonies. In one way or another, especially in moments when I really need to trust God and learn to rely totally upon Him, God has used your posts as reminders of what He is doing, what He can do and what He wants to do in my own life. And I give Him thanks that He has this whole world, including our marriages, in His hand.

As many of you know, my husband has been home for a little over four months now. And as I surrendered everything about my restoration and marriage to God, I could see Him really softening SNO’s (spouse name omitted) heart. We had even started going to church together, reading the Bible together from time to time, and even praying together. God had truly blessed me for obeying Him and for cooperating with His plan for our family and marriage.

But since then, our relationship has taken some steps backward because my testimony was not always one of unconditional love and respect for my husband, and he decided to return to his home country within a year, if not sooner. And after some big and dramatic disagreements and my pride getting in the way, he would no longer attend church with us. And since I believed that I could keep better tabs on what my husband was up to and possibly prevent any form of unfaithfulness on his part by staying home, I decided not to go to church unless he went with us, and I even made excuses to stop going to our Bible studies too. And even though we had some good days, the bad still seemed to overshadow the good.

So I was fighting some terrible thoughts, and started feeling frustrated and tired. Even though God was always there when I cried out to Him, I was not in the right place. As we know, frustration is all that we get when we trust in ourselves to do what only God can do on our behalf.” So as I read your praise testimonies, I longed for my own to share, but I felt that God would not and could not bless me, since I was still allowing sin into my life. So when I was feeling so overwhelmed recently, I asked God to forgive me for everything. But I heard the enemy say, “God can’t forgive you this time, you’re too far from Him now.” So I was asking God whether or not He would forgive me, and begging Him to take me back. And HE said…“Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” So I felt so much better, and the next day when the leader of the Bible study called to invite me to the study that night, I asked to see her right away, and she prayed with me, and I confessed, and repented to God about everything; even things from a long time ago. So I went to the Bible study that night and received confirmation that I am to continue standing for the complete restoration of my marriage.

The next day, the girls and I had a beautiful time on the American side of Niagara Falls, but while driving home, our car just stopped working on the busy highway. I know that the enemy would have loved to use that event to get me down, but God used it for His purposes and our good. I began to pray and asked the girls to pray too. I felt hesitant to call SNO to ask for help; partly because of my pride and I wanted to show him that I could handle it myself. But I was also afraid that he would get upset and blame it on me, so I called him since I felt in my heart that he is my husband and who better to call than “your husband” in such situations! So there I was waiting for some “great advice” about what to do, and all he calmly and seriously told me was that it might be some dirt lodged in the gas filter, and that we should jump up and down on the car, so it comes loose. I laughed, and thought “We’ll look so foolish…all of us jumping in the car!” So I prayed again, and asked God to rescue us and to please help us! And I was reminded of the story of Naaman (2 Kings 5:1-15), and I told the girls, that no matter how silly we look, why would we not do whatever it takes to get out of here and go home. So we began to jump and make the car shake something fierce! And then I started the car and proceeded home, thanking and praising God the whole way for ALWAYS taking care of us and for giving us so much to be thankful for. And the blessings I have received from the lesson I learned that day are numerous!

The girls got to see first-hand, that God hears and answers our prayers. And I was reminded to be thankful for my husband, and that he is here to call was a blessing in itself. And, yes, I am most thankful for his “mechanical knowledge!” As I look at it now, I realize how I came so close to missing out on God’s blessing for us all that day. But more than that, I think of how it relates to marriage restoration in that I have always desired to have a marriage built on the Solid Rock, but I have not been 100% willing to do what is necessary to receive it.

Unfortunately, the next day started out rough; to the point of SNO wanting to leave again. So I kept thinking, “I’ve got to let him go in peace.” And that’s when it all hit home about what God had been trying to get me to understand all of this time. Just like it was such a simple, uncomplicated instruction for Naaman to be cured of his leprosy, God has been telling me that I have been making it unnecessarily difficult. He keeps saying, “Come unto me, and I will give you rest, take my yoke, it is easy. Stop thinking that you can change your situation, and take your hands off and just LET ME HANDLE IT…ALL OF IT!” So I immediately repented and cried out for God’s forgiveness and mercy again; realizing that I cannot continue this painful path of doing things my way. Unfortunately, I am reaping the consequences of my behavior, and SNO was not willing to forgive me that time.

God has also been using my children to encourage me to go to church even if SNO didn’t want to. So we invited him to go this past Sunday, even after the events of the previous day, and I was not at all surprised when he refused. But I prayed the moment when he said no, and within ten minutes, SNO asked if he could come too! The speaker was First Nations, and the praise and worship was so awesome that day. The speaker asked us “if you could have one thing from the Lord, what would that be? Just ask Him for it now.” Feeling overly needy, a million and one things popped into my head, and as I sat there, I thought about asking for healing in my marriage. But that changed to asking God for His love, and for His love to overflow from within me, so I can give real love and radiate His love to others; especially unconditional love and respect to SNO, who is not saved. And I can honestly say that after the service, I felt something different inside of me; so much that I had peace about my situation. I thank God for changing my heart that day, and my thinking too; because I know something SUPERNATURAL happened since I went from being doubtful, to trusting God and getting excited about what God is doing and is going to do in our lives!

After church, we went out to lunch, and then coffee, and grocery shopping and just had a peaceful day. In the evening, SNO said something that was not so nice, and by God’s grace, I was able to ignore it. And before I knew it, SNO was apologizing! Praise God for showing me that “without a word” really works! Okay, I knew it before, but I guess I just needed the reminder! So please continue to pray for me; especially that I will follow the example given in 1 Peter 3:1-6, and for SNO, who needs salvation.

So, friends, I share my journey with you in hope of reaching someone who might have lost hope along the way and might be in a similar situation. And I want to encourage you and assure you that if you’re in the same place, God does not want you to stay there; so please call out to our Lord God and repent and receive His forgiveness; because you will experience great peace from knowing that you are clean before Him. And for the rest of you, please keep posting as I have been greatly encouraged by each and every single one of your posts. We just never know how God uses each of our testimonies, and we may never know until we reach the other side. I thank God for all of you and pray for you and your spouses by name. And I give thanks to Him for always being God and never changing. Be encouraged that He is working in each of our individual situations, all at the same time! Yes, He is the great I am and I give Him praise for reminding me of the story of Naaman, who “went down to the Jordan River, he dipped himself in it seven times, he did exactly what the man of God had told him to do, then his skin was made pure again. It became clean like the skin of a young boy.” God bless you all as we stand strong together!

As regular visitors to the site know, it’s been increasingly difficult to write Seeds Of Faith posts as I did before the ministry started growing so much, but I just don’t have the time these days. However, we do want this site to provide hope and encouragement to men and women standing on the power and promise of God’s Word for marriage restoration, so I will be making a more concerted effort to post actual testimonies from the private website here on occasion because I know little else matches the powerful encouragement of seeing how God has been (and still is) working in the lives of other men and women standing for marriage restoration, and even those who already have Restored Marriage Testimonies, which is no surprise considering the awesome revelation found in Revelation 12:10-11! And since we have truly been blessed in recent days with some very powerful After Marriage Restoration testimonies, I want to share one of them here today, which I know will be a blessing and great source of encouragement to everyone standing for marriage restoration! And more will be coming in the next few days too, so I thank our FAM Fellowship members for permission to share the word of their testimonies here as well! So be blessed and encouraged and keep in mind that God is faithful, and if He said it, HE IS GOING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO DO IT (Isaiah 46:10-11)!

Hope NEVER Disappoints!

Hi Everyone,
I have come to realize more than ever that standing for marriage restoration is about transformation and not just about bringing our spouses home. I thought that when SNO came home, we could pick up where we left off; just with God in control this time. But God wants so much more for us and that has been evident in what He has been doing in our marriage. He is continuing to change me and He has been changing my husband in ways I never would have imagined. So I just want to share some praises here in hopes of encouraging someone; especially anyone who might question why they are standing for the restoration of their marriage.

One of the biggest praises I have is that God has taught me what the “forget” part means in “forgive and forget.” When I look back on our separation and the weeks leading up to it, I realize that I have forgotten the pain I felt during that time. Yes, I recall that I felt pain, but even if I tried, I could not describe all of the negative emotions I felt then because my memories of that pain have been replaced by my memories of how God revealed Himself to me in such amazing ways during that time, as well as all of the comfort He provided me.

And while we are talking about forgetting, SNO seems to have forgotten many things too! During our separation, he told me that there was no way we could ever make things work again after what we had been through; including discussions about divorce. He even re-iterated that just days before he returned home; saying that things could never be the same. And he was right…things haven’t been the same; they are better than ever before!! And I have noticed that SNO talks about last fall and the holidays as though he never left and we never spent time apart! So I praise God that He has bound up our wounds and made us new again!!

We celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary in Jamaica last week, and I praise God for blessing us with such a wonderful trip and for all of the quality time we were able to spend together. I’m not a morning person, but on the morning of our anniversary, God woke me up pretty early and I could not sleep. So I stepped outside on our veranda and I started praying over our marriage. And shortly after that, God blessed me with the most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen in my life!

Then on the night of our anniversary, we enjoyed a private, romantic dinner out on one of the piers. It was the most romantic dinner I have ever had; complete with flowers covering the table and the entire area being covered with little candles. It was an extremely windy evening; so windy that I thought the lettuce from our salads was going to blow away! As the sun was going down, our waiter attempted to light all of our candles, and I thought to myself that there was no way any candle could stand up to that wind!! But he wouldn’t give up, and he said that if we didn’t have the candles, we would be sitting in complete darkness. Then he said that when God said there would be light, there was light and this would be no exception. I smiled because I knew immediately that those candles were going to be lit! And just a few moments later, the heavy wind stopped and every single one of the candles were lit and remained lit for our special anniversary dinner, and I felt very blessed to have only God’s special light surrounding us that night! Since the strong winds, darkness, and light represent so many things in the restoration of our marriage, words cannot even describe all of the special emotions I felt. God is so good!!

When our plane landed back in our hometown after our trip, I realized that I had a missed call from my doctor. After experiencing our second miscarriage in a row several weeks ago, my doctor became very concerned and ordered some tests to determine if there was a cause, so that it could be prevented in the future. The second miscarriage really broke my heart, but I have had so much peace knowing that God is in control. So I actually haven’t been too concerned with the tests. Although I have had a few instances in which I allowed myself to feel like a victim and to feel hopeless, God has really helped me pull past that, and I know that SNO and I will be parents in His perfect timing. So, the doctor was calling to deliver some of the test findings. They were able to determine the cause of the second miscarriage and it turns out that it was not preventable and it was the result of something that is very unlikely to happen again. So I praise God that He used this test to strengthen the hope we have that we will eventually have a successful pregnancy.

Sadly, the day we returned from our trip, one of our friends died in an automobile accident while he was driving home from work. And I have not been able to get his wife out of my thoughts and prayers because they have only been married since last October, after dating for ten years. He was a good friend of SNO’s, and I have never seen my husband so affected by someone’s death as much as he has been now. But God seems to be using this situation to really speak to him. He told me that if he ever lost me, he didn’t know how he would be able to move forward with his life. Praise God for how He has softened my husband’s heart!!! It was less than a year ago that SNO voluntarily left me and started creating a new life without me. Yet God has done such a mighty work, that he now says that he can’t imagine his life without me! However, my prayer is that if anything ever does happen to me, he will find strength and peace in God to move forward.

As a result of his friend’s death, he has started opening up to me about financial matters he never wanted to discuss with me before. He said that his friend’s death has been a wake-up call for him and he wants to make sure that he starts being more responsible. And I don’t think I can adequately communicate what a huge praise this is, because in the past, discussions concerning certain areas of our finances have always been tense and he has refused to discuss anything with me. And whenever I brought it up, we would end up in a fight. Needless to say, since he has been home, I have not brought it up and I have not even felt the need to because I now know that God is in complete control. So imagine my surprise when he set up an appointment with his brother (who is a financial advisor) to discuss previously private financial areas and asked that I attend and bring up any questions or concerns I have. Praise the Lord!!

I also praise God because He is helping SNO have more patience with me. Yet, that is not something I have ever brought up to him or even anything I have taken to God in prayer, but God knows our needs better than we do. A few days ago, we were getting ready to go somewhere, and as we were walking out the door, I noticed that SNO was being very quiet and he seemed a bit distant. I thought he was upset about something we had talked about earlier, so I apologized to him if I had upset him. And he surprised me by saying, “I’m not upset about that at all. I was just getting impatient because we are running late, but I didn’t want to say anything because I am working on improving my patience.” Praise God!! In the past, if I was running even 5 minutes late, he would be so upset with me that we would be fighting in the car and the evening would practically be ruined. So I have been working on being more on time and I praise God that He laid it on my husband’s heart to be more patient with me!

I feel like I could go on and on about all of the great things God is doing! God has been showing me what it means to be a submissive wife, as His word instructs, and I have seen so many positive results and changes in SNO, which has changed the dynamic of our relationship in such an amazing way. In addition, God has taken away SNO’s strong desire for alcohol and has replaced it with a desire to return to cycling. So every day, I am in complete awe of the changes God has made in our marriage and things keep getting better. I know there are moments when I have slipped, but I thank God that He has picked me right back up!

I hope this will provide at least a little bit of encouragement for my FAMM family. I know that God is working in all of our marriages and He will be faithful to complete the work He has started. So please remember that hope never disappoints (Isaiah 49:23 and Romans 5:5)!!

With Love,
MNO (member name omitted

Today’s Small Straws message from Marsha Burns is one of the simplest and yet most powerful messages I’ve seen for men and women standing for marriage restoration in a long time. So I hope and pray that everyone reading it will very seriously meditate on it and consider its significance as we stand for the Lord’s SUPERNATURAL power to be released on our behalf and manifested in our lives and marriages. And when we do, we will most definitely be blessed and encouraged beyond belief, especially when we also heed the rest of the instructions given to us by the Lord in Romans 12:20-21, which says On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

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Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin

SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns — June 24, 2009:

Have I not spoken to you to give place for wrath? I cannot bring justice as long as you take matters into your own hands. Forgiveness is what makes a place for judgment in My kingdom, says the Lord. I see the injustice, the reproach, and the betrayal, and certainly I will repay. But, my wrath will also give place for conviction and repentance. You don’t have to micromanage your situation. Trust Me to bring righteousness to every circumstance. The only thing you have to manage is your own indignation.
Romans 12:19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

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You can read the Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin online (along with archived messages and other prophetic messages) and sign up to receive them by email on The Spirit of Prophecy website.

I know our regular visitors to the public site have noticed that I don’t get to post Seeds Of Faith posts the way I used to, which I greatly miss, but that’s because I’ve been so busy keeping up with my other ministry responsibilities and the private FAM Fellowship website. The Lord has blessed us with so many new members recently (over thirty in the past six weeks), and we have truly been blessed beyond belief to see Him moving so mightily in our midst—and we really don’t know who will be next! But since I know it’s very encouraging to hear the testimonies of others when we are standing in faith and obedience on the power and promise of God’s Word for marriage restoration, and we are called to give God the praise, honor and glory He deserves, I want to share just some of what we have seen God do in the lives of our FAMM family in just the past week.

First, we were all truly blessed beyond words to see the Restored Marriage Testimonies of two of our members this past Wednesday, and then another one the following day!!!

After dealing with years of her husband’s non-covenant relationships including a child born to one of them, herself being unfaithful, and many attempts to restore their marriage, MNO (member name omitted) decided that she had to do whatever it took to provide for herself and her children without relying on her husband. So right after Christmas last year, she sent her children out of state to live with her mother and began an accelerated nursing program and cut her ties with her husband while she focused on doing what she needed to do for her family. And within a few months, her husband left the NCP and was living with friends and relatives, and after a death in his family last April, he came to his wife and told her he was coming home and they have all been back together as a family now for almost two months! And she says that things are VERY different and MUCH better than ever before! Praise the Lord!

After fifteen months of separation, and recently setting up house with an NCP (non-covenant person) she had been involved with years ago, MNO’s wife was very upset when the family went on a vacation without her, because it’s been pretty obvious for some time that she had already fallen in love with her husband again. So he comforted her by telling her that he really wanted to invite her, and that as hard as it was, they would be okay and had to get used to separate vacations given the current circumstances; which she later told him really hit her because she knew that wasn’t what she wanted and that he wasn’t saying it to be mean but because he was accepting her decision even though it wasn’t what he wanted. And soon after returning from their vacation, she spent the day with her family, and during that time, she told MNO that she loved him very much and missed him terribly and that she was sorry for everything. But she doesn’t know how they can get past everything or how to unweave the mess she has created. But He assured her that they had made it together and that the Lord could help them get through it and give them the strength and grace to move forward; that they could just take it one day at a time. And standing in faith on the power and promise of God’s Word, he claimed the restoration of his marriage because he knows that his wife’s heart is home and she will soon follow!

After being an unfaithful wife, the Lord brought MNO back to Him a little more than a year ago and called her to stand for her marriage even though her husband was involved with someone else at that time as well and ended up filing for divorce. And after recently coming home for about three weeks, he left again (to live with family members and not the NCP) because he said that he needed to know what God’s will for his life is and that his desire is to do not what he wants to do, but what God wants him to do! Well, he took her to lunch this week and told her that he wants to stay married and even though he doesn’t know how to work that out, it is what he wants to do. And he has started making plans for them as a family; such as vacations together and even making home improvements he knows she wants! So knowing that and that GOD will bring it to pass, she also stood on the power and promise of His Word and claimed the restoration of her marriage, which we all agree will be very soon!

But God didn’t stop there! In addition to the three wonderful Restored Marriage Testimonies mentioned above, we were also blessed to see God moving very powerfully in the hearts and marriages of seven other FAM members as well!

After three months of separation and quite a bit of hostility, and recently finding out that the NCP is pregnant, one of our newer member’s husband told her that he misses home, but doesn’t know where to start and if things can even “be fixed.” Needless to say, those words were music to her ears and she assured him that they can be!

After a little more than eleven months of separation and a child born to the NCP, another one of our newer member’s husband told her that “the grass isn’t greener on the other side”…but he doesn’t know “how to get back.” Needless to say, those were very encouraging words, and even though her husband continues to be double-minded, she sees God moving in his heart and knows their marriage will be restored!

After not attending church during their separation and divorce for the past year, MNO’s wife has been attending church with him and their daughter since Mother’s Day and even wants to sing in the praise and worship band now! Even though she says they are “just friends,” she displays affection in public, which is something they never used to do! So MNO knows that it’s just a matter of time before the Lord completes the restoration of their marriage; in the same way his wife is now being restored to her walk and relationship with Him! And as God tends to do with all of us, He has really used this time to draw MNO closer to Him too, and there’s no doubt that his wife likes the changes she sees in the new husband God has been making him!

After nine months of separation, being very angry and very little contact, another one of our new member’s husband has called twice this month and they have had pleasant conversations and now they are going out to dinner today, which just happens to be their 18th wedding anniversary! Needless to say, she is thrilled and very excited about what the Lord is doing on her behalf and to see her husband’s heart soften so much! So we’re praying that the Lord will totally melt his heart today and he will just fall in love with his wife all over again tonight!

After nine months of separation and no contact or expression of interest in anything to do with his wife, MNO’s husband asked his mother how MNO is doing and said he knows that she loves him; but she doesn’t like him or his friends. While that might not seem like much, it really is because it demonstrates that his thoughts have turned back to her and their marriage, which means his heart will soon follow, and then his feet…and we know that where our feet go, there our bodies go as well! So that’s just one more husband on his way home! Praise the Lord!

After almost thirty years of marriage and being separated and divorced for almost three years, MNO recently heard from a family member that her husband is no longer with the NCP; which might explain why twice in the past few weeks, he called her with impromptu dinner invitations, during which time they were both in tears as he shared things going on in the lives of people they knew that would naturally cause him to think about his own life. And for the first time in many years, he went on vacation to visit his family and will return today, which he sent a text to let her know and to say that he would call when he returns. So God is obviously working in his heart and life, and as MNO said, we all stand in agreement that he was going home to come home!

Another one of our new members joined the fellowship even though she filed for divorce after years of her husband being unfaithful and even having a child with the NCP, and their final divorce hearing was fast approaching. But God had a totally different plan! I always tell members who have filed for divorce that we can’t stand for marriage restoration while pursuing a divorce because that’s certainly not consistent with walking in faith or being obedient, and I encourage FAM members who have done so to withdraw their divorce petitions. But before I could actually speak with MNO, God intervened and the hearing was postponed. Two days before the hearing, she found out that she is pregnant and the night before the hearing, one of their children was hospitalized with pneumonia and they had to postpone the hearing. Yet, within an hour after doing so, the doctors decided to send them home with antibiotics! And two days later, her husband decided to move away and live with his parents instead of the NCP! Needless to say, God is obviously speaking to both of their hearts and I’d say getting their attention! God’s will and plan will NEVER be thwarted!

It’s so exciting and exhilarating to see how mightily and powerfully God has been moving in the hearts and lives of our members and their spouses recently because they have made a commitment to stand in faith and obedience on the power and promise of His Word for the full and complete restoration of their marriages and families, which means learning to be the spouses God has called them to be, to love and respect their spouses unconditionally and to LET GO and leave their spouses and marriages in the hands of our most awesome and faithful God! Marriage restoration is done in the SUPERNATURAL, so we have to learn HOW to work together with God instead of against Him as the world teaches and promotes, and the ONLY way to do that is according to His Word. But when we stand on the power and promise of His Word in faith and obedience, we are in fact humbling ourselves under the mighty, loving, and ever faithful hand of our great and mighty God and HE WILL LIFT US UP IN DUE TIME…just as He promised in 1 Peter 5:5-8!!! So as we all say as FAM Fellowship members…GOD IS MOVING…SO GET READY!!! And the way to do that is to LEARN WHAT HIS WORD SAYS AND DO IT TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY! And then we will indeed be blessed beyond belief because we will be ready when our spouses come back home!

Today’s Small Straws message from Marsha Burns is so simple; yet so powerful that I just have to share it here and pray that everyone standing for marriage restoration and finding it difficult to “rest” in the Lord will be blessed and encouraged!

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Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns — June 9, 2009:
Even though things still seem strange, unpredictable, and unsettled, you can rest assured that I know every detail of your circumstances. I hold your times and seasons in My hand, says the Lord, and I will establish, settle, and strengthen you in the purposes of My will. All you have to do is trust Me and obey My leading. Doubt, frustration, and double-mindedness will get you nowhere. Make a quality decision now to stand in faith that I will lead the way and bring you through this difficult time in triumph.
Deuteronomy 33:27a The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.
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(Note from Linda: I have no doubt that everyone standing for marriage restoration will be blessed and encouraged by the post Donna shared on the private website over the weekend. And since one of the other members reminded me of something I had shared in a Seeds Of Faith post over two years ago, The Power and Purpose of the Refiner’s Fire, I want to share that as well because it really does go hand in hand with the powerful message in Donna’s post. As I shared then, I received the following in an email message that morning:
“Malachi 3:3 says: “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.” She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?” He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.”

So I pray that anyone who is feeling the intense heat of the Refiner’s fire or the discomfort of the Potter’s wheel, will be comforted to know that Luke 3:16 says John answered them all, “I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. And instead of feeling defeated and discouraged because of the heat and pressure, I hope and pray that you will keep your eyes upon Jesus so you can be purified, strengthened, blessed, and encouraged as you’re molded and transformed to reflect the image of Christ! And we will indeed be blessed and encouraged when we learn to sing our Lord’s praises even in the midst of our trials as Donna shared!)

*****
Hi FAMM Family,

I am so excited about the growth of the ministry that I’m rejoicing. Welcome to all of the new members. This may very well be the most exciting time of our lives. How incredibly AWESOME to have the privilege of watching God transform us and our spouses into the vessels He has always intended us to be.

I saw John Hagee on television the other day, and he was speaking about his trip to Israel. He said he and his wife went to a potter’s house to see how he worked with the clay. He said that the potter was working on his wheel, taking the lumps out of the clay. The potter put the clay on the wheel, which he turned with his feet, and then pounded the clay until there were no more lumps. He then formed it into a vessel and placed it in the fire. Hagee asked the potter how he knew when the pot was ready to be removed from the fire. The potter replied, “When it sings.” The potter removed the pot from the fire, and while it was still red with heat, he thumped the pot, and the pot rang out the most beautiful sound; like a song. So it was ready to be removed from the fire. If the pot had not responded with a song, the potter would have put it back into the fire until it sang.

I think this is a beautiful analogy of how God molds us. God is the potter, and we are the clay. And it seems that the more we sing, the quicker we get out of the fire. Praise God and rejoice. The answer is always in our response to the fire we are in at any given time. So, I am singing my heart out. God bless our family and remember to SING, SING, SING!

(Note from Linda: Karen shared this on the private website yesterday and since it’s such a powerful and simple message, *I appreciate her permission to share it here as well because there is no doubt that we all would be mightily blessed and encouraged if we just understood what a difference our God can make! Thanks for such a simple and yet powerful reminder, Karen!)

*****
Hi Everyone. God revealed Himself in a mighty way to me this morning, and I want to share it with you.

I walked outside with our dog, as I do every morning, and looked toward the east. The sun was rising into a beautiful blue cloudless sky and I spoke to God about how there was not a cloud in the sky, when He brought yesterday morning to my mind.

I saw no sun yesterday. I could see a small bit of pink way off in the southeast sky, but it didn’t look promising. I also could see patches of rain coming down in the distance from steel gray clouds, and I remember noting a variety of angry-looking cloud formations. At the time, I hoped my dog would hurry and get to doing her business because it was going to rain soon and she hates the rain.

Wow! Twenty-four hours later, there was no trace of the storm. Some might say, “What a difference a day makes!” but I say, “What a difference our God makes!” The God of the universe, the Creator of the earth and the sky, can in one sweep of His hand dispel every menacing cloud and erase them totally from view. Our lives may be cloudy and stormy now, and we might not even be able to see the sun yet, but it is coming because His promise to us is blue sky and bright sunshine after we weather the storm.

So God reminded me of His power this morning, and how quickly He can act and how completely He can transform…not just the sky, but also our hearts, our lives, our spouses, and our marriages.

Praise Him for He is God Almighty!

If we truly understood the awesome SUPERNATURAL power released into our lives and circumstances when we faithfully trust God, it would be the easiest thing we ever do. But the sad reality is that when it comes right down to it and when it usually matters most in our lives, most Christians don’t truly trust God. So, as someone ministering to men and women standing against all earthly odds for marriage restoration, I know that helping them truly understand the greatness and faithfulness of our God and that He loves us with such an awesome and everlasting love as they develop a personal and intimate relationship with Him is the single most important thing I will ever do. And with every passing day of experience in marriage restoration ministry, I am more convinced than ever that the root of every moment of fear, despair, anger, frustration and many other negative emotions often experienced when standing for marriage restoration is our failure to know, understand and faithfully trust God. So with that in mind, I recently started writing a post about what it means to really acknowledge God in all our ways, which I hope to complete and publish soon.

However, as the ministry continues to grow very rapidly and so far beyond anything I ever imagined when establishing it over four years ago, writing Seeds Of Faith posts is something I rarely have time to do these days, so I apologize to everyone who has been concerned and especially appreciate hearing from those of you who have called or written to find out why I haven’t done that for the past few weeks. But since the FAM Fellowship was blessed to add twenty-one new members to our family last month, and since there’s little doubt that we will continue to grow, one of the main items on the agenda for tonight’s FAMM Board meeting will be finding ways to better manage such rapid growth and better meet the needs of our members. And it is my goal, though not all that realistic, to free up some of my time to be able to write more, because that’s something I truly love doing. In the meanwhile, I encourage everyone to make use of the option to search and read the archives, because they contain posts on most topics of interest and importance when standing for marriage restoration. And please keep the growth of the ministry and our ability to effectively manage it without losing all that we love about it in your prayers.

As always, God’s faithfulness to confirm the messages He wants to get across to us and the way we see recurring themes in the ministry keeps me in a continuous state of awe, and yesterday was no exception! As I said, two or three days ago, I started a post about the vital importance of understanding what it means to acknowledge God in ALL our ways (based on the instructions found in Proverbs 3:5-6), which focuses on the importance of trusting and obeying God and how it’s not really possible to truly do that without studying and knowing His Word. So I really appreciated Glenn Jackson’s Life of Faith message when I received it by email last night, which I encourage everyone to read at this link, where you can also sign up to receive them by email. It’s a very powerful message and one I hope and pray every man and woman standing for marriage restoration will read and take to heart. And I couldn’t help smiling when I saw the topic because earlier in the day, I had received a message from Rich, who noticed that I haven’t posted a Seeds of Faith post in a while and wanted to suggest sharing Why Waiting is Really Trusting by Daniel Darling. And since “waiting” is one of the greatest challenges many men and women standing for marriage restoration face, it’s a perfect follow up to Glenn’s message, so I hope an pray the Lord will use both of the above messages to speak to someone today, because the lasting restoration of troubled marriages really depends on our ability to FAITHFULLY trust God NO MATTER WHAT, as we acknowledge Him in ALL of our ways and learn not to lean to our own understanding and TRUST Him WITH ALL OF OUR HEARTS; heeding the warning found in Hebrews 10:38, which declares…But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.” So let’s focus on learning to “live by faith” and we will indeed be blessed and encouraged!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:5-6

Time Always Serves God’s Divine Purpose by Stephanie
(Note from Linda: Stephanie shared the following post on the private site yesterday, and since I know so many of you love hearing her testimony, I always appreciate her permission to share her unique insight and experience here. The overwhelming thought I had as I read what Stephanie shared is how significant 1 Thessalonians 5:18 is as we stand on the power and promise of God’s Word for the restoration of our marriages, and that we must ALWAYS remember and claim the promise of Romans 8:28. And when we keep the powerful insight provided in Ephesians 1:4-14 about how and why God moves in mind, we will all eventually reach the point Stephanie has been blessed to reach and will ultimately see that EVERYTHING we go through ALWAYS serves God’s divine purpose, which is ALWAYS for our good and for the glory of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! So be blessed and encouraged by this powerful word of Stephanie’s testimony and remember that God is the same yesterday, today and forever and that He is not a respecter of persons and what He does for one, He will do for all.)

*****
Hello Everyone,

I’ve missed you all so much, so forgive me for not getting a post up sooner. And please know that all of you are in my thoughts and prayers each day.

My husband and I are continuing to adjust to our restoration, and as strange as it seems, he has not mentioned one word about our marriage, separation, future, or anything else that happened. In fact, he acts like none of it ever happened, which is perfectly fine with me because having him back home is far more precious than any words we could ever say to one another. I sometimes think how unreal this is, especially considering how convinced I was that I didn’t love my husband, or want to be with him. And yet, here I am, joyful about all the small things we do together; like taking the kids out to dinner, cleaning the house together, and just watching television. It’s just so amazing to consider how God has changed my heart.

There were times during the waiting period that I “fantasized” about how our restoration would be; what I would say, what I would do, and how I would do it. Yet in reality, restoration is not much like we think it will be. But God orchestrates it exactly how He knows it should go, and all according to His most perfect plan. I never would have imagined that my husband would come back and never say a word about something so significant happening in our marriage. And even more amazing is how God has enabled me to understand, accept and respect how he is handling it, because before, I would have been in his face, asking what his intentions were, what he was doing, what this meant for us and our family, and a myriad of other questions. But God keeps giving me the peace I need, so I can be quiet; confident in His power and His promises Because I know that what he has begun, He will surely finish!

The waiting period I had to go through seemed unbearable at times, but it was SO important and vital because it was in fact an incredibly loving act of God Himself. It was God’s way of making things right, even if I didn’t fully comprehend or understand at the time (Isaiah 55:9). God does not make us wait just so that we can suffer, be discontent, grieve and mourn. Instead, he uses our time of ”waiting” to work on US and blesses us with special favor and gifts so that WHEN he restores our marriages, we will be able to deal with things differently than how we dealt with them in the past. So instead of grieving, we will be rejoicing in God’s power and grace; Instead of mourning, we will be filled with the joy of God’s mercy and love for us and our marriages; Instead of suffering, we will be able to have courage, adjust, and endure in God’s strength, and not our own (Job 39:11). And Instead of holding on, we will be able to surrender and to submit (Job 22:21) to His will and His way; fully trusting and resting in complete assurance that He knows the best plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

So when my husband came home, and the fairytale I had envisioned didn’t play out the way I thought it would, and negative circumstances surfaced, I remembered what God taught me in my waiting period. That was when I learned how to resist the devil’s schemes against my marriage and family, to trust God no matter the circumstance, and to have peace as I rest in His promises; the very things that led me to complete victory! God wants us to be powerful in Him and to call upon Him for everything. And putting that into practice while standing for the restoration of our marriages is like a soldier in training before the battle because once our marriages are restored, Satan does his wicked best to kill, steal and destroy them and the word of our testimony (John 10:10), and that’s where the real battle begins! So if we don’t learn how to put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:11), as God teaches us how to do in our time of waiting, than we will not be able to operate with the power given to us as children of the most high God (Romans 8:17) when our marriages are restored!

Even as a prodigal, God was getting me ready for the restoration I believed I did not want. My husband was praying for my heart to change, and for the restoration of our marriage, but it took a long time. So he gave up his hope and faith in God that I could be changed; that his prodigal wife could ever love him again and that I would choose our marriage and family (Matthew 19:26). But God allowed several painful situations and circumstances in my life, so that the scales would be removed from my eyes because He was fully aware that I would be the one praying for restoration one day, and knew I would need those experiences to help me in my stand. And although it probably seemed like forever to my husband, that time served a divine purpose, which I now understand. If all of this had happened earlier, I would not have been ready, and our restoration would have failed. But He allowed time to pass so that He could orchestrate what I specifically needed, and I know that He is doing the same thing for all of your spouses too. Our Father is the only one who knows exactly what it will take to bring us back from the deception and façade Satan uses to blind us. And then only He can build the character traits, belief systems, and behavior needed for restoration. Therefore, your prodigal spouse must experience ALL of what God plans for them, so that when they are home with you, their experiences will serve God’s divine purpose. And that is why it is so important for us to trust that God’s timing is perfect, and that the waiting time always serves a divine purpose! So don’t rush anything. Everything must have its perfect work. And time is not being wasted.

Without those experiences, I most certainly would not be where I am today, because I learned how to cry out to God in difficult times; when I was grieving, mourning, and hurting. And now I am able to wait, endure and surrender my life completely to God, and when negativity creeps into my marriage, I know exactly Who to go to, Who to trust, Who to rely upon, and Who to believe. And as God continues to work on ME, He is using me as his vessel to complete the work in my marriage no matter the circumstances.

So don’t fear time, negative circumstances, words, or hopeless outward appearances (Romans 8:15). God is at work and He has a handle on your situation, and He knows what He needs to complete in you, and the circumstances He is creating for your spouse. Time is on your side because it is manifesting God’s perfect work and will for your life and His perfect plan is playing out right before your eyes (1 Thessalonians 5:18)! And you will be amazed, so be patient.

With much Love,
Stephanie

(Note from Linda: Dan really hit the nail on the head with the following message, which he posted on the private site this morning, so I appreciate his permission to share it here as well. It’s SO important for all of us to really get and PRACTICE unconditional love, particularly since the Bible tells us that “unfailing” love is what every man (and woman) desires (Proverbs 19:22)! And I’m sure everyone will find the comparison to how we love our children very powerful and quite easy to understand and relate to.

As I was reading Dan’s post, I felt the word “secure” in my spirit, and as he described his love for his kids and what they knew, I realized that they felt “secure” in his love; just as we all should feel secure in God’s love. But the truth is that when we nag and complain and are rarely satisfied with our mates and they feel like they just can’t win with us, they are not going to feel very secure in our love. Yet, that is what loving someone UNCONDITIONALLY does; it makes someone feel secure in our love and creates an environment of freedom and intimacy that isn’t possible otherwise. And guys, this is particularly true for your wives; that’s the kind of intimacy and security they seek. And, of course, speaking words of praise, edification, approval, affirmation, validation and encouragement are how we demonstrate unconditional love. And when we speak contrary words, our spouses feel very unloved and very insecure and very unappreciated. So let’s all learn to speak words of life into our mates and marriages and stop speaking ANY words of death (Proverbs 18:21), and we will indeed be blessed and encouraged with the results…because they will be GOD’S results!)

*****
We consistently hear and read that we are to love our spouses unconditionally; but what does that mean? When we set conditions for our love and we have requirements that must be met or we demand certain circumstances before or when we “love”…that’s not UNCONDITIONAL love. Unconditional means that we don’t set up requirements or expect certain demands to be met, and unconditional love is not turned on and off by what someone else does or doesn’t do.

I have heard and read many people attempt to explain what unconditional love means and how it can be done, but never really quite understood. I think what finally made sense to me was when I related unconditional love to my kids. I care about their well fare, happiness, well-being and every aspect of their lives without any thought of getting anything from them in return. As infants, they were not capable of returning my love. And as they grew and matured, they knew I didn’t expect them to “earn” my love and they knew there was nothing they could possibly do to make me stop loving them. I appreciated any time they demonstrated their love towards me, but I did not expect it; nor did I demand it. My love for them was not based on any preconceived or preset conditions. And today, they know and trust without a doubt that I am going to love them regardless of what they say or do to me or anyone else. There is absolutely no question about my love for them. There may be times I express concern about what they are doing in their lives, but they know I would never stop loving them.

How much more should we love the one person who God created for us and orchestrated for us to be united with in marriage? We entered into a covenant one-flesh marriage with our spouses, and as husbands, we are commanded to love our wives like Christ loves the church, and wives are commanded to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:21-33). In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we are given the meaning of unconditional love, and how I wish I had heeded those verses before.

Unfortunately, I can honestly admit that I expected my wife to reciprocate the love I gave her. I was caught up in the popular myth that a marriage should be a 50/50 relationship. But that is the world’s way, and certainly not God’s. God’s expectation in marriage is that we give 100% of ourselves to our spouses regardless of what we get in return; no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Our love for them should never be based on what we receive from them. And if I had loved my wife as Christ loved the church, I would not be posting on this site!

However, we do know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose for them (Romans 8:28). So we must continue to read, study, absorb and live God’s Word so that we will have the knowledge and understanding in order to receive His wisdom and discernment to welcome our spouses back and love them the way God intended for us to do from the beginning. And we have hope; God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and created marriage for a man and a woman for a lifetime–until death (Romans 7:2-3). And we know He hears our prayers which are according to His will and that even when it seems impossible to us, it is ALWAYS possible with God.

Even though God tells us that we have not because we ask not (James 4:2), that is not an invitation or license for us to tell Him how to do His business; yet that is what a lot of men and women standing for marriage restoration tend to do. Of course, the perfect example for us to follow is Jesus praying to be delivered from the cross (Luke 22:41-44), but ultimately sacrificially accepting GOD’S will.

Sadly, over the years, I have seen many fall away from their stand for marriage restoration, and the reason most standers fall away is because they come to God just seeking help in the restoration of their marriages instead of a personal relationship with God, and they are never able to truly love and trust Him, especially if He doesn’t appear to be restoring their marriages and families. And God definitely knows the difference even if we don’t, and since His Word instructs and commands us to love and seek HIM FIRST (Matthew 6:32-33) and with ALL of our hearts, minds, soul and strength (Mark 12:29-31); putting no other Gods or idols before Him (Exodus 20:2-4, God most definitely is not going to help or bless and reward us as we break His commandments! And we are told very clearly in James 4:3…When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. So our prayers are much more likely to be answered when they are RIGHTEOUS and line up with what we KNOW is the Word and will of God. As Jesus taught in John 15:5…If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. And when we truly know and understand the Word of God, we won’t try to tell Him how to do His business or ask for things that we know don’t line up with His written Word. Yes, God wants us to share our burdens, cares and hearts’ desires with Him, but we need to be very careful when it comes to telling Him the when, where and how we expect or believe He should grant our petitions and make sure that they are righteously motivated.

One reason such prayers are so dangerous is that they are very ineffective and prideful…and God OPPOSES the proud, so we become discouraged, disheartened and even angry when God doesn’t meet OUR expectations and demands or abide by OUR time tables. Yet I can’t think of many promises in the Lord’s Word that come with details such as the when, where and how, so those are just limitations we’re trying to put on God to suit our own agenda and His ways just aren’t our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9)! And God ALWAYS knows what is best for us so much better than we do, so we just have to trust Him enough to be able to walk in the wisdom, power and promise of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-20, which we will when we just BELIEVE AND OBEY IT!

Teresa recently shared the following on the private FAM Fellowship website, and based on the responses, other members realized that they were doing the same thing as well. So I want to share it here too because our relationship with God should be based on WHO HE IS and not what we want Him to give us. And the best way to more fully grasp how important it is to put our trust in God and humble ourselves under His mighty hand as we stand and pray for the restoration of our marriages is to read Job 7-42 as Teresa’s post suggested. And if we really want to be blessed and encouraged beyond belief, we need to heed and keep in mind that Job’s very hopeless and dire circumstances did NOT turn around UNTIL he prayed for his friends…NOT FOR HIMSELF, as revealed in Job 42:10…After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.

*****
Seeking God’s Agenda by Teresa in Arizona
Hello FAM Family!!! I want to share something that God has laid on my heart, which has been confirmed several times (as God always does).

Recently, I have felt that God was asking me “Are you serving Me because of what you believe I will do for you, or are you serving Me because of who I AM?” And soon after having that question posed to me, I heard Joyce Meyers say “Are we praying “more of you, God” or “more stuff from you, God?” and I was reminded of Job saying…”Even though you slay me I will trust in you.”

I have several obstacles in my life right now and there don’t seem to be any answers or concrete solutions to resolve them, so I have cried out to God; being angry because there is not a light at the end of the tunnel and telling the Lord “if only you would do this or that” or asking “Why won’t you show me the way?” I have struggled with whether or not I should even be standing and with condemnation because I am standing for a second marriage. So I have many battles going on, and that’s when God posed this question to me. And it breaks my heart to think that I have questioned God himself when the cross alone tells me more than enough how much He loves me and shows me the depths to which He goes for us!!!

I have just begun reading a book about Jesus’ prayer life and I’d like to share a prayer that’s been a good example to me. The author talks about how we are not very good LISTENERS when we pray; we would much rather tell God our latest ideas and plans. But in Job 38, God responded to Job by saying “Did you counsel Me when I put together the seas and the mountains?” Hearing that, Job responded in humility before God, and that’s how our response should be when we are tempted to tell God how to run His ministry. : “O Lord, forgive my ignorance. Who am I to tell You what I think is best in redeeming a world? I did not lay down my life. You did it! It was Your Son and His blood that brought our redemption. And it was Your Holy Spirit that You poured out on Your people to give them resurrection life and power. Who am I to tell You how to bring this world to Yourself? You alone know, O Lord.”

I am praying now that God will put me on His agenda in all I do; that I will work “with” Him and not just for Him. There are many things we “do” as Christians that seem good, but are we doing what God has called us to do? So I am asking God to reveal my motives so I know what is of Him and what is of me.

All I know for certain is that God is good and no matter what this life brings, He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will finish what He has started and I know that this life is in preparation for our real home in eternity. So I pray that we would all seek to have God’s Agenda in our lives and that we would be eternally minded rather than temporal minded. It is then that our circumstances, which are temporal, will become small and God will become BIG!

Praise God for His constant revelation in our lives and for the wonderful encouragement and exhortation we receive from one another. God bless you all!

Though not very popular teaching, the simple answer to whether or not God really expects and even commands wives to submit to ungodly husbands who are not saved or being obedient to His Word is a resounding “YES!” And since that’s been a rather challenging topic of discussion with FAM members recently, and it’s my responsibility to teach and present the Word of God as He has led me to understand it, I want to share some vitally important passages of scripture for everyone standing for marriage restoration. And then it’s up to each of us to determine for ourselves how they apply to us and our individual and specific situations.

First and foremost, we have to be careful to avoid using a single verse of scripture in God’s Word in an effort to justify and rationalize our attitudes and behavior, especially when there APPEAR to be conflicting verses and passages of scripture, which most likely just means that one thing is true in some circumstances or up to a certain point, and then something else is true. As the Bible teaches, we need to hear and heed the WHOLE counsel of God (Acts 20:27) because we live by EVERY WORD that comes from the mouth of God (Deuteronomy 8:3). And whether women like it or not, the Bible VERY SPECIFICALLY teaches wives to SUBMIT to their husbands, and it even tells us to do so when they are being disobedient to the Word; which obviously means even though they are breaking God’s commandments.

Ephesians 5:22-24 says (with my emphasis added) Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. And please note that this says IN EVERYTHING and did not mention ANY exceptions and since GOD is NOT the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), the meaning of this is pretty clear and unambiguous. Yet to eliminate any doubt that God means that wives are to submit to their husbands IN EVERYTHING AS TO THE LORD EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT BEING GODLY and obeying the Word of God, we can read 1 Peter 3:1-6, which (in the Amplified Bible) INSTRUCTS IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them]. It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].

And let’s NOT forget just what it was that Abraham asked Sarah to do!!! He asked her to hide the fact that she was his wife so that HE could be spared and she could be taken by the Pharaoh and later King Abimelech and he would then be rewarded and treated well (Genesis 12 and Genesis 20)! Yes, Sarah was indeed Abraham’s half sister, but he was lying to save his own life and apparently didn’t care that much about what would happen to Sarah as a result of that. Yet she SUBMITTED to his request even though it obviously meant that she and the men they deceived could end up committing adultery, which is obviously wrong and sinful in the eyes of God. And even though we don’t really know what happened with Pharaoh, we know God saved her from that fate the second time with the king! YET THIS IS THE EXAMPLE PETER TELLS WIVES TO FOLLOW!!!

BUT the only way to fully understand this passage of scripture is to read what preceded it (particularly 1 Peter 2:23), which we have to do since 1 Peter 3:1 said “IN LIKE manner…” (and please note the caps!).in like manner to what? To find out, we have to see what came before these instructions, and 1 Peter 2:18-25 says Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Unfortunately, people tend to use this teaching to open up a can of worms as they propose all sorts of hypothetical situations in an effort to challenge or refute it…so I sure am glad it’s not MY responsibility to explain or defend it! GOD wrote it and it’s up to HIM to speak to each one of us to help us understand what it means and how to apply it to our particular situations; yet the meaning seems pretty clear to me. WIVES ARE TO OBEY AND SUBMIT to their husbands IN EVERYTHING AS UNTO THE LORD AND THEN TRUST GOD WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!!! That means being agreeable with our husbands and putting all of our hope, faith and trust in God to protect and deliver us; knowing that even if our submission IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD leads us into sinful behavior because we are humbling ourselves under the mighty hand of God by following HIS instructions to submit to our husbands IN EVERYTHING, the sin will be accounted to our husbands; just as ours is to Christ and just as Eves was to Adam (Romans 5:12 and 1 Timothy 2:14). And when we submit to our husbands in everything as unto the Lord, we’re demonstrating that we love and trust Him because we’re obeying His VERY SPECIFIC instructions for wives to submit to even disobedient and unsaved husbands. So IF our hope is to win disobedient and/or unsaved husbands over…and we fail to do as God’s Word instructs, based on what Jesus taught in Luke 6:46-49, we can’t necessarily count on Him to move SUPERNATURALLY on our behalf to save and deliver them from the hold the devil has on them and restore our marriages and families.

It’s also pretty exciting and encouraging to realize how Peter’s teaching from Chapter 3 lines up with God’s instructions in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 to husbands and wives when an unbelieving spouse leaves, because it says But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? As most of us know, many believe and teach that these verses mean that we are not bound by our marriage vows when our spouse leaves, but nothing could be farther from the truth (for more detail, read Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage)! Since the first mention of separation and divorce and the last mention of it and the first mention of remarriage in 1 Corinthians 7 (verses 10, 11 and 39) VERY UNEQUIVOCALLY say that marriage is for life and that we can NOT remarry as long as our spouse lives (not withstanding Jesus’ declarations in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:8-9), it makes absolutely NO SENSE that Paul, who we know by reading the whole chapter was NOT pro marriage, would say that marriage was for life in the beginning and end of the passage and say something totally different (FOR ANY REASON) in the middle! No, as Paul goes to such great lengths to declare in verse 10, as he does nowhere else in scripture that I know of, the instructions GOD gave to him in verses 15 and 16 were obviously based on the same principles Jesus taught in Luke 15:11-32, which are illustrated and spelled out in even more detail in Hosea 2. And just as happened in both of these passages of scripture, when our spouses want to leave, IF we just LET THEM GO AND TRUST AND OBEY GOD, GOD WILL work SUPERNATURALLY to BRING THEM BACK!!! And since both 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 and 1 Peter 3:1-6 reveal the importance of living in peace (having a gentle and quiet spirit) and the power that has to attract our spouses and impact and bring about their salvation and deliverance, it’s obvious that everyone standing for marriage restoration should focus on whatever it takes to live and walk in peace; especially since Romans 14:17 declares that the kingdom of God is about righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit! And that’s even further confirmed in the instructions given to all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages in 1 Peter 3:14-16, which says But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

While I fully understand what a difficult and challenging teaching this is, it is nonetheless what I believe the Bible teaches, and the only way to walk it out is by the grace given to us by God when we truly put all of our hope and trust in Him. His grace is indeed sufficient and we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us! So I pray that everyone will study the Bible references and seek the Lord’s guidance because I’m fully convinced and persuaded by countless conversations and my experience witnessing how the Lord works in marriage restoration, that this is vitally important for anyone seeking to understand God’s command to let our spouses go when they want to leave and for women to SUBMIT to husbands even when they are not acting very godly and in accordance with the Word of God. God and God alone has to bring conviction to our spouses’ of their wrong doing, and it is and always will be HIM and HIM alone Who can and will change their hearts and redirect their paths. And when we put all of our hope, faith and confidence in God and the power and promise of His Word, we will have the peace of God that’s so attractive and powerful as we stand for marriage restoration, and we’ll be blessed with the manifestation of God’s awesome promise in 1 Peter 1:3-7, which says Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. And praise God for the blessed assurance we have in 1 Peter 2:3-6< which declares As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him—you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

So, wives, just as Jesus did, we have to entrust ourselves to Him Who ALWAYS judges justly (1 Peter 2:23) and expect that when we submit to our husbands in obedience to God, HE will protect and deliver us the same way He did Sarah, and by HIS great power and unfailing faithfulness, we will NOT be put to shame! So as we let the Lord speak to us concerning this, may we all be blessed and encouraged in Christ Jesus as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families in His name and authority and for His glory! AMEN!