Recent conversations with several FAM Fellowship members revealed that they still struggle with overcoming learned or conditioned responses to their spouses, which is a deadly deterrent to marriage restoration. So that’s definitely part of the past we have to leave behind in order to press on and take hold of all that God has for us in the future, just as Paul wrote about in Philippians 3:12-14, which says Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Most of us are quite familiar with that passage, but when we take the time to really meditate on it, there’s an awful lot in it that pertains to letting the past go and giving our spouses a clean slate in terms of our interaction with them. First, just like Paul, none of us are perfect and we never will be; but we have been called by God and predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, as confirmed in Romans 8:28-30, which says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. Obviously, that is something we can’t do on our own, so we have to rely on God’s promise to do it for us. And we do that by remaining in the Word and allowing ourselves to be transformed by the renewing of our minds as Paul teaches in Romans 12:2, which says Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. And without reading the Word, we can’t possibly know God’s good and perfect will or for what purpose Christ took hold of us! And that’s the ONLY way we’ll EVER have the faith we need to DO what God has called us to do (Romans 10:17)!

One of the most important aspects of what Paul teaches us in the above passage for those of us standing for marriage restoration is that we have to FORGET WHAT LIES BEHIND! And one of the reasons so many struggle with doing that is a lack of genuine and heart felt forgiveness, which is discussed in great detail inBehold I Will Do A New Thing, a previous post about the fact that forgiving DOES MEAN FORGETTING; because we’re called to forgive others as God forgives us. And one of the reasons we have such a difficult time forgiving and forgetting is because we aren’t willing or able to show others the same mercy God shows us, even though we’re also instructed to do that as well. What About Mercy? is another previous post about forgiveness and letting go of the past. The links included are no longer valid, but the Bible references sure are powerful.

Letting go of the past and refusing to react negatively as we previously learned and were actually conditioned to do in response to just about everything our spouses said and did is absolutely necessary if we’re ever going to obtain the restored marriages God has planned for us. And the ONLY way to do that is to genuinely forgive them and to extend them the same kind of mercy God has so graciously given to us.

Fortunately, identifying and understanding our “conditioned” responses goes a long way toward helping us overcome them and leave them behind as we learn a new and better way! And one of the most powerful examples of a conditioned response that helps us understand how they affect and hinder us is an actual experiment I learned about in college. Anyone familiar with fleas knows that they are amazing little jumpers! But when they are put in a jar and the lid is placed back on the jar; after jumping a few times and hitting the lid, they keep jumping, but just high enough to avoid hitting the lid. Well, after a certain amount of time, when the lid is removed and they could jump out of the jar; they don’t even try! They just keep jumping only high enough to avoid hitting the lid! I’m sure that sounds familiar to a LOT of us; if not ALL of us! We became so used to acting and reacting a certain way with our spouses that even when we and/or they have changed, we continue to act and react the same way! And that’s got to stop, because we can’t have the new relationship God has planned for us by continuing our old ways of interacting and responding to our spouses. But the good news for all of us is that we CAN change and learn a new and better way, because as Jesus declared in John 15:5; “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. So just like Paul, we have to press on toward the goal of marriage restoration to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus! Apart from Him, we just can’t do it, but when we remain in Him and abide and rest in the power and promise of His Word, we can bear much fruit and we CAN do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13)! And when the devil comes to tell us we can’t change and we can’t learn a NEW way, we can send him packing by simply believing and claiming the awesome assurance we have in 2 Corinthians 12:9, which says And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. And when we remember that, we can’t help being blessed and encouraged!

(Note from Linda: I have a strong sense that this is a very significant message for someone today. So I hope and pray that you’ll be blessed, and encouraged to unlock and open the door and receive the glorious blessings Jesus is just waiting to pour out into the abundant life He came to give you. John 10:10)

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“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20

The Lord wants you to know this morning that it’s time for you to open some doors in your life (heart) that you have had closed to Him for quite some time. I know this message is for many people. Some of you have closed the door to certain areas in your life because of fear- fear of what He’ll ask you to do, fear of the unknown, fear of failure or rejection. Some of you have closed the door because there is sin in your life that you aren’t willing to let go of so you are trying to hide it behind a locked door. Some of you have locked God out of certain areas because you are angry at Him- you feel He let you down, didn’t meet your need, allowed something and you are confused as to why. Some of you can’t forgive yourself for past sins, failures or mistakes, so you keep a locked door in your heart. Some of you have been so badly hurt by someone that you find it easier to just “lock the door”.

Whatever it is that you have locked up inside of you needs to come out, but that can only happen as you unlock the door. You need to let the Lord heal the hurts that are locked up inside of you. You need to give Him access and free course into every area of your life. The thing that you are protecting behind a locked door is keeping you “locked up and locked in” instead. Let the Lord give you freedom today. Open the door- every door- to your heart. He stands knocking waiting for you to open.

Have a great day. It’s time to remove all locks and open widely all the doors of your heart to the Lord .

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Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.

So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

One of the most influential passages of scripture when setting up FAM Ministries was Revelation 12:9-12, which says “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.”

I have no idea how many times I read that same passage before reading it one day as I was contemplating FAMM, but when I read it that time, it had a very profound effect. I just couldn’t comprehend that the word of our testimony could ever in ANY way, shape or form be equated with the blood of the Lamb; yet there it was! And as I thought about a bit more, I realized how it works. Obviously, we know and understand the awesome power of the blood of Jesus as our Lord and Savior, but if not for the word of our testimony, others might never know about it. So the devil was and is defeated and overcome by the Blood of the Lamb, but it’s by the word of our testimony that others know that and turn to Him for the salvation and deliverance He provides! And from that time on, I knew that sharing the word of our testimonies would be a very important part of the ministry and that we could and would rely on the power of our testimonies to overcome and defeat the devil as he comes to steal, kill and destroy our marriages and families. But there was no way I could have ever imagined then just how true that would end up being! We have truly seen lives transformed as hearts and minds have been changed through the supernatural power of many testimonies shared on the private pages of the FAM Fellowship website.

It’s always amazing to witness the profound impact the word of one person’s testimony can have in the hearts, minds and lives of so many others! And the fellowship members were blessed to witness that again last night when one of the ladies shared a powerful testimony of how the Lord has worked in her heart and life and how the devil tried to come to steal, kill and destroy JUST before the manifestation of her breakthrough and the restoration of her marriage! And since it is such a powerful testimony and had a VERY profound effect on so many of our members, I requested and received permission to share it here so others might be blessed by it as well. And I expect to have additional testimonies to share that were posted in response, so the devil is most certainly being overcome by the word of this testimony! And we praise God for it because we know that it will be used for His glory and hope and pray that all who read it will indeed be blessed and encouraged by it! (Names and other personal information have been omitted.)

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Don’t Give the Enemy a Foothold!
I wanted to write a post about the importance of staying true to God’s word, no matter what. I know standing for the restoration of our marriages fills our heads with happy thoughts of not being alone, and always having that someone special in our lives once we can claim restoration. But we need to make sure that the motive for our stands is not to cure the loneliness, but that it’s a matter of morals, and doing what God told us to do, no matter how our circumstances look.

When my husband first left, I hated being alone. I couldn’t eat or sleep and although I was a few months pregnant, I actually lost ten pounds in about three weeks. I would go to bed at 4:00am, and wake up at 6:00am and just clean my house. I was wearing myself thin with the kids, and would often let my youngest one sleep as long as he desired because I was emotionally drained and physically tired; yet so overwhelmed that I couldn’t rest. And as much as I wanted my husband to come back, I really just wanted “someone.” As a matter of fact, the enemy had put it in my head that God was removing my husband because I was too good for him…whoa! Pride overload! I believed that his sins were so great, that God wanted me to be with someone better…PRIDE!

Well, about that time, I began telling everyone that I was giving him one year to straighten out and that if he didn’t come back by then, than I would start dating again. I didn’t want to be alone; and I didn’t know how to live alone!

Well, fast forward to now, and I can see that my motives back then, even desiring to have my husband back home, were based on the fear of being alone. I didn’t want him to return because I loved him, or because I vowed to be with him in good times and bad; I didn’t even want him back to be able to honor God, because after all I had allowed Satan to tell me “God was protecting me from him.” Instead, it was selfish motivation that made me completely infatuated with my husband to the point of refusing to let him go.

But God spoke to me quickly and taught me so much and so fast that by the time I came to this ministry last July, I was ready to look at my self for my faults, and seeing what kind of wife I truly was. It was certainly a hard process to go through, but as I began transforming into the woman God created me to be, I also began to love my husband with the most amazing, truly unconditional love. All of a sudden, everything I had done in the marriage to break it down seemed to erase the hurt and betrayal I had felt. And I knew if God was going to forgive me, I had to forgive my husband entirely.

The feelings of loneliness were stripped away from me and I was able to enjoy the best relationship with the Lord that I have ever experienced. I now know God in ways I never even imagined. My stand became a real true stand; I was standing on the rock of Jesus for not only a restored marriage, but to have my husband’s heart turned back to the Lord too. I could go on forever explaining all the wonderful things that began to happen in my life once I recognized His call on my life and marriage, but you can all read the archives for that.

Instead, I wanted to let you know that right before my miracle phone call from my husband the day he said he wants us to be a family again, Satan tried to tempt me with thoughts of a new relationship. A neighbor of mine, who I consider a friend, told me that someone she knows had seen me in passing and was interested. Now, at that point in time, I had not had a guy look at me to check me out since my husband, and even he had not showed any attraction to me since the day he left. It was easy for me to be flattered, but I needed to remember that it is only my husband’s attraction to me that should make me start blushing; I am a married woman. So I explained that I wasn’t interested, and left it at that.

God showed me a reward that I will never forget, because the very next time I saw my husband was the day he checked me out! That was the day I wrote about in a previous post just a few weeks back. All that time and he had never laid eyes on me like that!

But, I was still about to face another test. The following Friday, my neighbor called and said that she and her boyfriend were going to a comedy club, and they were going with the guy who was interested in me and he wanted to know if I wanted a night on the town! She insisted that we can just go out as friends and have a good time together, but that would be it. For about half a second my mind said “Go…” and then the other half of that second was “NO!” Thank you, Lord! I said “NO” and it was that next Monday that my husband first indicated that there was a significant change in his heart, which was followed by my miraculous phone call the very next Friday!

But as you can see, I had given the enemy a foothold all that time. I said that if after one year…” (which would have been about one month ago), my husband was not back, I would start dating again. And all of this happened within weeks after the one year mark of our separation! I know that God allowed the test so that I would see how He had transformed my own heart, because had an opportunity like that presented it’s self when I was full of pride, and so self righteous, I know I would have fallen. And that’s just it; our spouses have fallen because they truly do not know what they are doing. We really are not any better than them, and it is only by God’s grace that we are not right where they are. Once my eyes were opened, I was able to do the right thing! I thank God for the work he has done to change me and my heart, because no matter how good I may appear to another person, I am still a filthy rag in front of God, and yet He chooses to wash me clean and declares that I am as clean as freshly fallen snow!

It is so important that we do not let the enemy have a foothold in our lives. Let’s make sure our motives are pure, and that they line up with God. And never forget that it is Satan who comes to steal, kill and destroy BUT it is Jesus who has come to give us life and life more abundant (John 10:10)!

As someone usually more focused on ministering to men and women standing for marriage restoration, it was brought to my attention last night that more care and thought might well need to be given to those on the other side of our stand; the men and women who have left their marriages and yet end up visiting our site for some reason. So I want to express my personal appreciation and welcome to everyone who visits and who are not necessarily standing for marriage restoration. I hope and pray that the lord will touch your hearts and spirits with the power and promise of His Word and that you will be blessed and never hurt by what you read here. It is never my intention to judge or hurt anyone; but one thing those of us who are now standing for the restoration of our marriages do understand is the transforming power of conviction found only in the truth of God’s Word; we truly know the power it has to totally transform our hearts, minds, spirits and lives. So we pray that you will find blessing and encouragement here as well.

I received communication from such a woman last night, who shared how many things in her life were not going well. And it brought me to tears when she shared that when she reads what is posted here, it always makes her feel that it’s because she has not been faithful. I felt such a strong sense of compassion for her and a flood of other emotions as well; but I knew the only reply that has the power to bring her any comfort or help her in any way as she seeks answers to her questions must come from the Word of God. And since she is very likely not the only one in similar circumstances visiting the website, I have been asking the Lord to give me the wisdom and words to share the truth of His Word with love and integrity.

Yet, God really didn’t seem to be giving me much as I sought His guidance about this throughout the day. I felt blocked, because all I kept getting was “love”. So finally instead of thinking there had to be more, I started meditating on how to explain the way God works to bring correction as love. Of course, the first thought that came to my mind was that God disciplines those He loves. But when I went to read it in context, I saw that I had totally forgotten the first part of that very wise counsel, because Proverbs 3:11-12 actually says My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Yet, even as men and women standing for the restoration of our marriages and families, the truth is that we often do despise and resent the Lord’s discipline and rebuke. But as I thought more about how to explain God’s discipline in terms of love, I thought of God’s awesome promise in Jeremiah 29:11, which says For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. If God’s plans for us are for good and for our best and we are on a path that would keep us from realizing His GOOD plans for us, it would obviously be loving of Him to do whatever it takes to get us back on that path. And I couldn’t help thinking of the many testimonies I’ve witnessed over the past years that really bear that out. So when we are not walking according to the path God has PREDESTINED for our lives, He often uses challenging and painful situations to get our attention and bring us to the fulfillment of that promise, which is confirmed in verses 12 and 13, which say Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Unfortunately, when life is going along pretty well and everything seems to be great, we aren’t quite so inclined to seek the Lord with all of our hearts; but when disaster strikes, we tend to turn to Him, and quite often in sheer desperation. Obviously, that’s something just about every man and woman visiting this site and standing for marriage restoration knows all to well. In fact, many of the FAM Fellowship members rededicated their lives to the Lord or were only saved after their marital problems arose, and most of us wouldn’t trade all of the pain and disappointment we’ve had to come through to get to the walk and relationship we have with Him now. BUT if not for the problems in our marriages, we wouldn’t be where we are today, so that’s a perfect example of WHY God allows things into our lives that hurt us so much; He just wants to get our attention. After all, He does command us to make HIM FIRST (Exodus 20:2-4 and Matthew 22:36-38)! Yet, very few of us really do; at least not until we have no other choice.

I have no doubt that it was not just by coincidence that as I listened to Charles Stanley’s TV broadcast about dealing with rejection this past weekend, I was especially struck when he read a passage of scripture I thought I was VERY familiar with; yet it was as if I heard it for the first time! He read Romans 8:16-18, which says The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. I couldn’t believe that I never caught the significance of what that says… we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. That’s certainly not very popular theology; yet there it is in black and white and pretty hard to disregard since it’s such a powerful and definitive statement. So I’ve actually been meditating on it for the past few days; thinking about why it is that we are so afraid and do our very best to avoid any kind of suffering. The trials and tribulations of our lives are used by God to mold and shape us into the vessels He always intended us to be for His glory, and He assures us that the things we suffer won’t even begin to compare to the glory He will reveal in us! And the Bible is full of many stories proving that it is often through terrible times of injustice and suffering that God’s perfect plans to bring blessings and glory are manifested. One of my favorites is about Joseph, who never could have or would have ended up the second most powerful man in the land if not for the jealousy of his brothers who sold him into slavery, and then the unjust accusations of a lustful woman who caused him to be thrown into prison when he righteously rebuffed her adulterous advances! When John the Baptist baptized people, he would say that he baptized by water, but that one was coming soon Who would baptize by fire (matthew 3:11). Of course, we know that was Jesus and I can’t help wondering if that refiner’s fire isn’t what John was talking about! Because it is through the fire of adversity that we truly turn our lives over to Jesus and release all of the junk that does not please him. So we are cleansed through the fires of trials and tribulations in the same way we are symbolically cleansed by baptism through immersion under water.

So adversity in our lives is NOT necessarily the result of disobedience; it may just be God’s way of getting us where He wants and needs us to be for our best and for HIS glory. Yet, it is also true that when we are disobedient and act in a manner contrary to the written Word of God, we can DEFINITELY expect to be corrected by the Lord and that we will experience adversity that IS the consequence of our sinful or disobedient ways. If God allows us to continue on a path contrary to His Word, will and plan for our lives; then He is a liar, and a mockery is made of His Word; an that’s just not going to happen (Numbers 23:19)! And when God puts it in the hearts of men and women to stand on the power and promise of His Word for the restoration of their marriages, He is not going to allow their spouses to walk away and right into the happiness they expect to find elsewhere; that too would make Him out to be a liar and a mockery of His Word, which just isn’t going to happen either! Malachi 2 makes it very clear that God HATES divorce and that He is willing to go to great lengths to uphold the marriages of faithful spouses (and even not so faithful spouses who have truly repented!) by not accepting or honoring the offering and worship of someone who has divorced a faithful spouse; and 1 Peter 3:7 even indicates that He doesn’t answer the prayers of men (and women too) who don’t live as they should with their wives! So God is SERIOUS about the covenant of marriage and He will stand with us as we stand for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families.

So yes, it is reasonable and biblically sound to believe that God can cause our lives to spin out of control when we are not living according to the instructions found in His Word. And that’s true whether we believe it or not and the private pages of the website are filled with testimonies proving that! God’s Word will NOT be mocked and if God said it; it WILL happen! And even if it is against our own will, God has a very powerful and persuasive way of bringing us around to His way of thinking! He is a jealous God and He will not allow us to continue to put other things or people before Him or for HIS plans to be thwarted by our own or anyone else’s. As Proverbs 21:30 states; There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. And while it may not seem loving from our limited human perspective when God allows so much pain and disappointment in our lives; when we understand that He has a much better plan for us, and one that WILL bring us happiness if we submit and surrender to HIS will and way, AND that He does it ALL for the glory of His son, it begins to make a lot more sense. God WILL have His way, but we get to choose whether it will be done the easy way or the hard way and the difference is based on whether we choose to be obedient or disobedient. He allows us to make that choice, but also promises that there will be consequences based on the choices we make; either life or death, and blessings or curses. And He even tells us to choose life and blessings by being obedient (Deuteronomy 30:11-20)!

But it does no good to recognize the will and ways of God if we are not going to put them into practice. And in Revelation 3:19, John wrote Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. And when we do, we will truly be blessed and encouraged, because of God’s most awesome promise in Isaiah 55)!

We added a new category to the private website today in honor of some very encouraging and instructive praises posted by several ladies with restored marriages, which is titled After Restoration! It’s SO encouraging to see how the Lord keeps working after restoration; how faithful He is to restore so much more than was lost in the first place and to complete the good work He’s begun! In addition to the following Praise Testimony, posted today by one of our members with a restored marriage; one of our other restored FAM Fellowship members shared how well things went when her husband joined her for the first time at her small group Bible Study where they had a barbecue; and he really enjoyed himself! And then I talked to another one of our Ladies whose marriage was restored just before Christmas, and she shared how her husband had given his life to the Lord at a marriage encounter weekend they just attended and how wonderfully she is seeing the Lord work in Him! God just never does ANYTHING half way! And the latest member with a restored marriage shared that her husband told her that he loved her for the first time in a long time last night! And everyone reading the prophetic messages we often refer to knows that based on all of them; there’s a WHOLE LOT more coming, so GET READY! And be blessed and encouraged as you read how the Lord has been working in the full and complete marriage restoration of just one of our members!

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Hello All!!! I’m so excited to get to write a post with such wonderful news!
“The earth was formless and void…and God said, Let there be light.” (Genesis 1:2-3)

…I am here to Praise God and thank Him for all of His AWESOME ways and how He continues to bless me and my family! My “something out of nothing” is proven in the fact that I am writing this message freshly back from a week long cruise with my wonderful husband!!! WOOHOO!!!! Praise God!!! Sixteen months ago, I would have NEVER guessed that I would have been spending time on a cruise ship with my husband beside me as we continue on this God glorifying road of restoration!

June of last year is when I stood on the solid rock of Jesus and claimed that our marriage was restored. Since then, Satan has tried in different ways to steal God’s glory. Each time, every principle on the road TO restoration became a vital tool for me to maintain the path OF restoration and bring forth God’s glory light to every situation. Once you stand up and make the declaration in Jesus’ name, Satan pulls out all the stops. God knows that steal, kill and destroy game though! That is why hand in hand on the path of restoration each of us are on, God continues to equip us with His word, His love and FAITH that God works all things for our good and His glory!!!

Another Praise I have to share shows how God shines His light in the darkest of situations, making something else out of nothing. My husband still has contact with the NCP, and I didn’t understand at all why God would continue to allow that. So I prayed and continue to pray. And I now know that there are reasons for that. One of my prayers has been that God would bring someone into her life that would show her His eternal promise and gift. And I recently found out that my husband purchased a gift and sent it to her. The gift…God’s Holy Word. Praise God!!! Not only does she have the awesome Word of God in her hand, there is now one more Bible in a part of the world that doesn’t normally get to hear or see God’s Word. What a wonderful example and testimony of Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”!!! I am now so excited to daily see how God is going to use us and our marriage to bring forth His glory! I haven’t always been able to say that though! There are times wen I look at a circumstance and it brings sadness, heartache or fear to me. All those are straight from Satan and his silly attempt to get my eyes on my circumstance and off of the glory light of God. The Sword of the Spirit is the tool and weapon God showed and taught me how to use as I journeyed to restoration. Now that I am in a restored marriage, I know that when I feel those feelings, I have to stop and say and claim verses outloud; such as Romans 8:28; and claim promises like Jeremiah 29:11 . Restoration is not just a journey that stops once we claim it; it’s a God glorifying journey that I will continue down for the rest of my life. It is my calling from God to bring forth His glory through the life I live daily…my testimony!

I just wanted to give God glory for the wonderful blessing He gave me and my husband in such a delightful week together! I also wanted to stop and give God glory and remind everyone to take today as it is suggested…”a present”. God is using you today and gifting you today with tools that will help you in your daily life and bring forth His glory for many to see. Take ahold of them and cherish them as the blessings they are. God will bless you and many people around you in ways that you would never imagine! I never would have imagined that God would use our marriage to bring His Holy Word to a darkened part of the world. Nor would I have ever imagined the wonderful week I just experienced with my husband! It does happen and God fulfills every promise He makes! Stand strong and JUST BELIEVE!!!

As incredible as it is, though something we all totally expected, this morning I was very blessed to post another huge praise testimony with an update on another one of the FAM Fellowship members whose husband certainly appears to be on his way home! He’s the only thing missing, because ALL of his “stuff” is now back where it belongs! And that’s the husband who had a visitation from the Lord, as shared in a previous Seeds Of Faith post last week, God CAN and WILL use ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to Accomplish His Purpose! And just in case you missed it, I shared what God is doing with the other husband in the above post two days ago in Victory is CERTAIN When we Overcome Fear and doubt and Walk by Faith!

This time, SNO (Spouse Name Omitted) was unjustly fired from his current job, and he and the NCP were told to pack up and leave and since this same scenario has played out repeatedly for them in the past few months, they are probably out of places to go. So SNO asked if he could “store” his “stuff” at his wife’s apartment, which she agreed to. But instead of just putting everything into the storage room, where there was plenty of room; he put his clothes in the closet and drawer space his wife had kept ready for his return! And instead of being angry and stressed out as he usually was when this happened in the past, especially under these circumstances, he seemed to be in a very good mood and was actually flirting with his wife! So there’s little doubt that his heart (and now his stuff) is where it should be, and in God’s perfect timing and way, there’s NO doubt that he will soon be home as well!

I feel as though I learn something new with each and every restoration I’m blessed to witness, and the Lord has really impressed upon me lately that if there is no change in the one standing for restoration, there isn’t going to be a change in their marital status either! Without exception, those situations I’ve seen the Lord moving in the most miraculously are also those of the people I’ve seen change quite drastically just in the time I’ve known them. And there never seems to be any meaningful change in the circumstances for those who aren’t obviously changed. Of course, that doesn’t mean that our marriages aren’t yet restored because we haven’t changed, but it is something we all should consider in our own hearts, minds and spirits. As I often say, we can fool others and even ourselves most of the time; but we can’t ever fool God.

I don’t remember just who said it to me, but I was really struck with the truth of the observation that we can do the right thing ninety-nine times out of a hundred; but when we mess up that one time, it can totally undo all the good we did the other times. Unfortunately, that is so true. And that’s exactly what happens when the change doesn’t take place on the inside and when we truly are not the same person and our attitudes of judgment, self righteousness and criticism are replaced with the love, mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. If we don’t really have a genuine heart of compassion toward our spouse; we’re probably not ready for restoration. So let’s focus on asking the Lord to make the changes He desires in us and leave the changes needed in our spouses up to Him and them. He knows our hearts and if we don’t have heart changes, we probably aren’t going to have marital changes.

Psalm 139:23-24 is a very powerful passage of scripture, and when we consider it as we SINCERELY ask the Lord to reveal anything in US that is displeasing to Him and ask Him to change US, as HE desires, we WILL never be the same again because God is often quite painfully faithful and quick to respond and answer this prayer! BUT if we sincerely praySearch me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting., we WILL BE blessed and encouraged beyond belief!

Over the weekend, one of the FAM Fellowship members posted the following prayer request and I asked her permission to share it here, along with my response, because I know there are many men and women asking themselves the same questions. Even though there is SO much more to understanding what we should and shouldn’t do when our husbands and wives start divorce proceedings, I hope my response to MNO (Member Name omitted) will help by giving some basic direction and encouragement to anyone in the same situation and just now making important decisions about how we should respond when our spouses file for divorce. We have to understand that as long as we DO what God’s Word tells US to do, we don’t have to worry about our spouses’ “plans”, because in the end, it is the Lord, and HIM alone, who will determine the outcome! As Proverbs 16:1 assures us; To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. And I sure hope that we all know by now that what God says goes (Isaiah 55:10-11! Here’s MNO’s prayer request:

“Hello Everyone,

On Sunday, I received a call from my husband and he told me he has decided to file for divorce. He does not want me to contest it and says that if I do he will hate me. He said he had been going to counseling to get past the anger he had toward me but that he can’t get past it and does not think he ever will. I still believe that God will restore our marriage, but I am not sure which way to go with this. I have been praying since I got off the phone with him. Ironically, I was on my way to church when he called. I still went because the enemy used that as an attempt to keep me from hearing what God had to encourage me through this situation. Our pastor preached “Change”; Going from Chains to Change. He used Luke 15; the story of the prodigal son. He focused on how when the son lost everything he had and was down to nothing, he realized he had to change his way of thinking. He spoke about how we have heard God talking to us about things we should change, but we don’t. We just sit and think about or plan to do it and that is called fantasy. But it’s time to actually do it.

I am at a crossroads; I am standing for my marriage, but do I fight the divorce and make him more angry or do I give in and seem as if I’m giving up on what God has promised me.

In my morning meditation, I clearly heard God speaking to me; saying “Just Trust Me.” And I want to, but what do I do while I’m trusting God? Do I stand still and do nothing? Do I react and fight back, or Do I give in and just let my marriage go?

Please keep me and my family in prayer as I seek God’s guidance and direction in this time.”

And here’s my response:
MNO, I’m so sorry for not getting back to you with a response earlier, but I’ve been swamped and really wanted to take the time needed to fully answer your questions, especially since they are the same questions so many men and women have in the same situation. And HOW you deal with this could make the difference in the future of your marriage. BUT the answers have to come from the instructions and wisdom found in the Bible and not as the result of relying on the wisdom or even experience of man or leaning to our own understanding or relying on our feelings. When God said to trust Him, He means that if you DO what His Word teaches, HE will DO what His Word promises and uphold its power and authority! So let’s look at what the Word says and what God tells us to do and what He promises to do when we do.

As Christians, the SPECIFIC instructions God gives us when our spouses want to leave or divorce us is found in 1 Corinthians 7:14-16 (NASB), which says For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? But it’s VERY important to understand that Paul did NOT mean that we are no longer bound by the covenant of our marriages when our spouses leave or divorce us; he just meant that we are no longer bound and in Paul’s personal opinion, hindered by our responsibilities and duties as husbands and wives. He used a totally different word in the original text here than he used later on in verses 39 and 40, where he said A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God. So, as he concluded his instructions concerning marriage and divorce, he felt it was necessary to REPEAT the exact SAME instructions he gave in the beginning; where in verses 10-11 he wrote But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. So it’s VERY difficult to understand how it can be thought, as more often taught than not, that Paul meant that when our spouses (particularly unsaved spouses) leave us (and they’re obviously not believing the Word and instructions of God when they do) , we’re released from the covenant of our marriages and free to divorce them and remarry. That just defies reason, especially since it creates confusion, and 1 Corinthians 14:33 very clearly tells us that God is NOT the author of confusion, but of peace. And the argument that we’re not bound because they are not Christians doesn’t hold water either, because Paul even tells the spouses of unsaved husbands and wives that they MUST NOT leave their unsaved spouses in verses 12-13, where he said But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. Paul clearly felt that the natural and obvious duties and concerns of marriage hinder our ability to freely and completely serve the Lord, which is revealed in verses 32-35 where he stated But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. And before saying that, in verses 25-28, he went so far as to say Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. So it’s no wonder that when we understand Paul’s passion for serving the Lord and how he viewed marriage as an impediment to doing that, and even felt it was necessary to make a distinction between his personal opinion and the instructions he had received as a command directly from God (which he does not do anywhere else in the Bible, that he considered marriage as a form of bondage or slavery. And that’s confirmed by the fact that he used the same word, DOULOO, in verse 10 above that’s used in Acts 7:6, which says God spoke to him in this way: ‘Your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years. And that’s also the same word used in 2 Peter 2:19, which says They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. Yet, the word used in verse 39 is DEO, which is the same word Paul used again in Romans 7:1-3, where he used marriage to illustrate his point about the law and wrote Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.

While all of the above passages of scripture may not seem to address and answer your questions, they actually do; because we have to know what the Word of God teaches about marriage and divorce in order to put ALL of our hope, faith, confidence and trust in God as we rely on the power and authority of His Word for the full and complete restoration of our marriages. Sadly, that necessarily means exposing and refuting the lies of the devil, which are intended to cause doubt and confusion concerning God’s very CLEAR and UNAMBIGEOUS instructions regarding the one flesh, life long covenant of marriage (Matthew 19:1-6) and numerous other passages), and even his very clear and simple instructions concerning divorce and remarriage. And according to His Word (Matthew 19:9, among numerous other references), The only possible circumstance allowing remarriage after divorce is adultery. But God clearly prefers us to forgive and stand on the power and authority of His Word for restoration so Jesus will be glorified when a doubting and unbelieving world witnesses His faithfulness to do exactly what His Word promises He CAN and WILL do when we are faithful to turn from our own sin and trust and obey Him (Isaiah 55)! So you have to take God at His Word and know that He was serious and REALLY meant business when He said that HE HATES DIVORCE; that your marriage is a covenant made by your marriage vows; that HE was a witness when that covenant was made; AND that HE will uphold the covenant of your marriage by refusing to accept your husband’s offerings, worship and prayers (Malachi 2 and 1 Peter 3:7) if he divorces you and you remain his faithful wife and uphold and honor the covenant of your marriage.

So to more specifically answer your questions, you don’t fight your husband on the divorce; you “let him leave”, because you are “called to peace.” And you read and meditate day and night on God’s Word so you can put all of your faith and confidence in God’s power and faithfulness to fulfill every word in it! You read 1 Peter 3:1-6 backwards and forwards until you know it so well that it will always come to mind any time you are tempted to forget it and open your mouth or be anything less than quiet and gentle and pure and reverent, or to give way to fear instead of putting your hope in the Lord. You do your best to cooperate with your husband and don’t let pride get the best of you. You learn to eat so much humble pie that it feels like you’ll choke on it, because God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble and when we humble ourselves under His mighty hand, HE will lift us up in due time ( 1 Peter 5:5-6)! You show honor and respect for your husband, even when he is not behaving very honorably or respectably. You simply, and not repeatedly, express your regret that you were not the wife you should have been and that he is unable to forgive you, but say that you understand that and are not going to try to keep him from doing what he feels he needs to do; that you have to accept his decision; that even though you will always honor your marriage vows, you understand that’s not what he wants. Honey, YOU can NOT change ANYTHING about your husband, BUT GOD CAN AND WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IF YOU’LL ONLY TRUST AND OBEY HIM!

We could fill many books with testimonies of the totally different outcomes when people decide to fight their spouses and the divorce and when they are obedient and trust God; but they ALL would just totally confirm that the ONLY way to get GOD’S outcome is to DO things HIS way! So you need to stay connected with people you know support your stand and who will keep you accountable to the Word and avoid talking to anyone who does not; that’s just giving the devil entrance to your heart, mind and spirit. And you COVER your husband’s sin and nakedness and do NOT expose it to others. You learn and apply God’s Word about your role as a wife and DO what the Bible teaches us that love does, and DON’T do what the Bible tells us love does NOT do! And one way to find the answers to many of your questions and how the Word of God applies as we walk through this season in our lives is to read the archived Seeds Of Faith posts and the testimonies on the private site. And you have to learn and sow in your heart the MANY verses that assure us that it just simply does NOT matter what our spouses want, because “man proposes and God disposes!” For example, Proverbs 19:21 says Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. And Proverbs 21:1 tells us that The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. And you’ll find many other encouraging verses like these in the Restoration Bible Verses posted on the site. As you read the Bible, ask the Lord to speak to you and He will; and the verses and promises He gives you in that way will give you the grace and anointing you need and just can’t get any other way. It’s God’s Word that has the power to transform us and to give us the faith and confidence we need as we stand for the full and complete healing and restoration of our marriages and families. So you cling to the Word He gave you and just trust Him with ALL of your heart, lean NOT to your own understanding, and acknowledge Him in all that you say and do, and He WILL direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6)! And remember that the Lord doesn’t just want your marriage and family to be restored; He wants your husband to be in right relationship with Him too, and as we saw in 1 Corinthians 7:16 above; WHEN we let our spouses leave and act in peace, the Lord can use us to save them, which is exactly what 1 Peter 3:1-6 confirms! So trust God enough to let your husband go and let the Lord use your humility, obedience and trust in Him work to bring your husband back to his senses and back to you and his children; where he belongs and where God wants him. And NEVER forget Proverbs 21:30 and that There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. And NO MATTER what you see or hear, claim the awesome promise of Romans 8:28 and KNOW that GOD will cause EVERYTHING to work together for good as long as you love Him and are called according to HIS purpose, and the full and complete restoration of your marriage and family is most definitely His purpose! So JUST TRUST GOD and remember His promise in Romans 8:31, which says What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? When you put your hope and confidence in God and the power and authority of His Word, you will NEVER be disappointed and you will be more blessed and encouraged than you can even begin to ask or imagine!

There’s no way to overstate the awe and excitement in the FAM Fellowship when we have another marriage restoration in our midst, which is especially true with the most recent restoration we’ve been blessed to witness! While every marriage restoration looks impossible when looking at the circumstances through natural eyes; it is true that some seem even more unlikely than others, and this was definitely such a situation! I’ve often written about this young lady, so regular visitors to the site are sure to recognize MNO’s (Member Name Omitted) testimony.

MNO is very young and her husband left when she was a few months pregnant; leaving her and her children with NO financial support at all for many months. Unfortunately, since she was pregnant and didn’t know how to drive or have a car or driver’s license, she didn’t qualify for any of the available housing assistance programs, because they all required participation in either educational or work training programs. And things were complicated by the fact that she lived in a very small rural area. Since she had already received assistance to pay her rent from the only local agencies that do it (as a one time thing), and had no way to pay her rent, her landlords (a church) were threatening to evict her and her two VERY young children when God brought her to the ministry.. But God had BIG plans for MNO, and even how she came to the ministry is a huge testimony in and of itself!

I first met MNO when she posted a response to a Seeds Of Faith posts in early July, and even though I meant to reply, I didn’t do so in a timely manner. Then a few days later, she posted a response to a post in which I meant to reference Isaiah 55:10-11 and inadvertently typed Jeremiah 55:10-11. As she told me later, she just doesn’t look scripture up most of the time, but that day she did and, Of course, discovered that there is no such passage of scripture! So she responded to that SOF post as well and politely pointed out that there was no such scripture and stated that she wasn’t perfect by any means, but that she felt it was real important to make sure that we use the correct scripture references! Well, I guess the last thing she expected was for me to publish her response and thank her for it AND respond to her response to the earlier SOF. But that’s what I did and we started talking after that, and she ended up becoming a FAM Fellowship member. And very soon after she joined the fellowship, I encountered health issues and was VERY grateful to have MNO around to cover for me when I was unable to manage the sites as usual! There’s no way that was not the hand of God in action!

Well, we just couldn’t let her be put out on the streets or end up in a shelter, and we happened to have the money in the ministry account (I was trying to save that for that book I’ve been trying to get written and published for so long! LOL). So I contacted her landlords and told them we would be paying her rent and asked if they could reduce it to help us out; but they wouldn’t reduce it a bit! I told MNO that since she wouldn’t ever want to find herself in the same situation again in the future, we would require her to get her GED and learn to drive and get her driver’s license. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find anyone to teach her to drive, so we actually paid for professional driving lessons! I know that instructor never had a nine month pregnant woman behind the wheel before—probably why he so generously kept making excuses to reduce the fee for each lesson! And fortunately, MNO was a VERY fast learner!

But to shorten things a bit, we helped support MNO and her little ones for six to seven months, paid for her driver’s license, registration and the repairs on a very nice little DONATED car (which was available right at the same time she got her license—again ONLY by the hand of God!) and helped her get started in her own business as a Disciples Cross producer. We did that right up until the ministry jus ran out of money and we weren’t able to do it anymore! But God had that covered too, because several people contacted MNO to let her know that an opening was available for an assisted housing program and that since she was working toward her GED, she should apply. She was approved and was able to move out the very same month we could no longer afford to pay her rent! Who but God could manage all of that!

I’m sharing all of this to demonstrate that MNO had MANY reasons and opportunities to give in to the natural fear and doubt we’d all have, but she never did! Her situation was further complicated by the fact that her husband was living with an NCP (non-covenant person) who was pregnant and whose baby was born about one month after hers. In the beginning, her husband was very angry and bitter. Every time child support was taken out of his checks, he’d quit his job, and there was a time when he didn’t seem to have any interest in his children, and he NEVER even acknowledged his wife’s pregnancy. In fact, he did his best to ignore the baby once it was born and that really broke MNO’s heart. BUT SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON THE PROMISE SHE HAD FROM GOD OF A RESTORED MARRIAGE AND FAMILY! And she did NOT get angry or bitter. She just focused on doing what she needed to do for herself and her children, and she became an invaluable asset to the ministry. We all came to greatly appreciate and admire her attitude of gratitude, praise and encouragement. And when the ministry was reorganized as a non-profit corporation, she was even asked to serve as one of our Board members.

The details of MNO’s testimony and God’s faithfulness to her could well fill the pages of a book, but after a little more than a year of separation and finally understanding who she is in Christ and PRACTICING what it means to be a wife according to God’s Word, MNO’s husband told her this past Friday that he’s coming home! They obviously have a lot of details to work out, but his heart has been turned and directed right back to his wife by the ALMIGHTY hand of God (Proverbs 21:1) and His Word has NOT returned void Isaiah 55:10-11!

I had intended to write this yesterday, and share it along with a wonderful post written by Dan over the weekend, but just wasn’t able to get it done. And then this morning I received an email message containing a link to the following message from Tiffany Ann Lewis, which ties in perfectly to the assurance we have of victory when we overcome fear and doubt. So read “And the Lord Remembered”, and then the following post from Dan, and you’re bound to be blessed and encouraged, because you’ll have more reason to KNOW that VICTORY is CERTAIN when we OVERCOME fear and doubt!

Fear and Doubt Don’t Have to Rule by Dan Spitz

As I reflected on conversations I had with several guys last night, I was reminded of how Satan loves for us to be gripped with fear and doubt. We get caught up with fear that what we say and do will only push our spouses away, so we are afraid to set boundaries or perhaps afraid to respect the boundaries set by our spouses. But when we give way to fear and doubt, we are telling God that He is not in control. Yet, at the same time, we know that what we’re doing is not working. Unless we give everything over to God and put our trust and faith in Him, we are not being obedient. God’s love is unconditional, but His promises have conditions that we must meet. So we have to be totally dependent on Him and abandon our own ways.

In Bayless Conley’s newsletter this month, he talks about the second chapter of Daniel. When Daniel was experiencing the worst moments of his life and confusion and panic were all around him, he reminded himself of God’s Word; God is good; He is merciful, kind and faithful; He is an ever-present help in times of trouble. Daniel was able to resist panic by remembering the nature and character of God and what He promises in His Word.

Daniel 2:20-23
– He said, “Praise the name of God forever and ever, for he has all wisdom and power. He controls the course of world events; he removes kings and sets up other kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the scholars. He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though he is surrounded by light. I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors, for you have given me wisdom and strength. You have told me what we asked of you and revealed to us what the king demanded.”

God knows exactly what we are going through and every tiny detail of our situations. And He will help us Resist the temptation to be gripped by fear and doubt; thinking we can control the situation or circumstance ourselves. So when fear and doubt strike, we must remind ourselves who God is and fix our minds on the promises of His Word. And if we’re not reading and meditating on the Word, we must make it a priority. God desires that we have knowledge and understanding of His Word, so all we have to do is seek Him and He will pour out more and more of His wisdom on us. But if we don’t know and understand His commands and promises for us we just give Satan the opening he’s waiting for to come in and steal, kill and destroy us. Our families are under attack, but Jesus has already defeated Satan and won the victory for us. But we have to have His promises and His Word in our hearts, and not just in our heads, so we can speak His truth, have faith and believe that He will do exactly what He says He will do.

God makes a way when there seems to be no way. But God uses His supernatural power for His glory and honor; not for us to receive glory and honor. He will have His way and if we don’t believe that, we’re not where He wants us to be. There is no place for fear and doubt when we are in God’s hands. If we are in a panic, we are not in faith. The Lord loves us and cares deeply about every one of our situations. He wants to work on our behalf; all we have to do is let Him!

It’s interesting how we can look back at our lives and see how the Lord has always been preparing us for the work He eventually calls us to; though I only recently realized to what extent that is true in my own life. For instance, it was in no way just a coincidence that one of my neighbors at the villa I moved to when my husband and I were legally separated was a very strong Christian and also separated from her husband, or that we became very good friends and I ended up joining her church. And as would happen again later when I had to move from there (read my ”apartment testimony”), I’d had a very difficult time finding a place to live when I had to move. But no matter what the obstacles appeared to be; God ALWAYS had it all worked out and had a much better place and a much bigger plan for me and my life, and all of the obstacles were really just His way of getting me where He wanted and needed me to be in order to bring it all to pass! And it was by no means a coincidence that two other women in our church (which was a very small church) were also separated from their husbands and facing divorce! So we formed a prayer and Bible study group that met at least once a week; though we all became very good friends and ended up spending a lot more time than that together. I sort of ended up being the “leader” of the group, but I didn’t have a clue what the Bible teaches about marriage or our roles as husbands and wives at that time. Yet, even then and throughout the years that followed, I had a heart for marriage restoration and always tried to encourage my friends in their marriages. But one thing I did know even then was that we have to believe God NO MATTER WHAT WE HEAR OR SEE! And that’s when I first heard and started using the phrase “Whose report are you gonna believe!” And that’s something we all have to decide for ourselves, because it will probably determine our futures more than anything else we do as we stand on the power and authority of God’s Word for the restoration of our marriages and families.

Yes, as men and women standing for marriage restoration, we all know all about getting tired and discouraged, and wanting to give up; and some of us even have to confess to the times when we DID give up. But no matter how we feel, no matter what we think, no matter how much it hurts, and no matter how hopeless and discouraging our situations seem, the Lord ALWAYS manages to bring us back to the conclusion that there’s nothing else to do other than stand for the restoration of our marriages. So, after going through that process so many times, which we ALL do, wouldn’t it be so much better if we could figure out how to stop doing that? Sadly, it took me way too long to get there, which is why it now means so much to encourage other men and women standing for their marriages to find the indescribable place of truly resting in the love and power of our Lord and Savior, with CERTAIN knowledge that He has EVERYTHING under control, and that NOTHING is too difficult or impossible for God! But even when we think we’ve gotten there, we can be absolutely sure that God will test us; often just to show us that we’re not really quite there yet! So when things seem to be going wrong and you really feel like the Lord has abandoned you; when it looks like God is letting His Word be mocked and others are “getting away” with things they shouldn’t be getting away with; when the world seems to be turned upside-down…that’s when you have to ask yourself whose report are you gonna believe! And I can personally testify that every single member who has already been blessed to post a restoration testimony on the private FAM sites chose to believe the report of the Lord and that they faithfully proclaimed that in their words and deeds BEFORE their marriages were restored! So I hope and pray that we all will choose to believe the report of the Lord as written in His Word and NEVER listen to anything that comes from the devil, who is the father of lies and who just comes to steal, kill and destroy! And I praise our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that HE came to give us life, and life more abundant!!

Yesterday, one of the FAM Fellowship members received very disappointing and distressing news concerning a court decision; and the court’s ruling and order truly defies reason and understanding. But when I tried to encourage the member to trust God; that in the end He’s the ONLY one we can count on and that He really was the only one who could protect the member’s children; that no court order can do that (as proven by the fact that this was concerning a Contempt of Court hearing in which the Court Order was even found to be violated); the member became angry at me and God. Naturally, that’s troubling, because that’s just the wrong way to go and it will only make the situation a lot worse and not better. But that’s a powerful example of faith requiring someone to take risks, even though it’s a lot easier to take those risks when they don’t involve the safety and well being of our children. Yet, what other choice do we have? That’s really when we have to decide whose report we’re going to believe; when the situation looks utterly impossible; that’s when we HAVE to give it to God and trust Him to do what His Word promises. Yet, being ever so faithful, the Lord immediately began working to speak encouragement into that member’s heart, mind spirit and situation through yesterday’s message from John Walker and then again today in Lorraine Ezell’s Coffee Break devotional this morning. Just as with this member in such a troubling and frustrating situation, it’s when things look their worst that we will find out whose report we REALLY believe. But when we CHOOSE to believe the report of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior; when we decide to put all of our hope and confidence in God’s faithfulness to fulfill every word in the Bible and trust Him with ALL of our hearts, we will truly understand and be blessed by His amazing promise in Ephesians 20-21, which says Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. And when we choose to ignore the circumstances of gloom and doom around us and decide to believe the report of the Lord instead, as we rely on His power that is at work within us, we won’t be anything but blessed and encouraged!

*****
Listening To Circumstances by Lorraine Ezell

“And the same day, when the even was come, he saith unto them, Let us pass over unto the other side.” Mark 4:35

I’m sure you’re familiar with the story of Jesus and His disciples getting into the boat and a storm came up that threatened to destroy them. Jesus was asleep in the boat during the storm but the disciples were bailing water in fear of drowning. The storm was so bad and they were so afraid that they woke Jesus and accused Him of not caring that they were going to die. The truth of the matter is– they were never in fear of drowning although they thought they were because of the circumstances around them.
Jesus had already told them that they were going to the other side. That did not mean that they would drown, that they would turn back, that they wouldn’t make it. They had Jesus’ word on the matter, so what He said was what the outcome was going to be. The situation that they were facing made them fearful- it also made them forget what Jesus had said. If we aren’t careful the situation that we are in will cause us to forget what the Lord has said to us because of what we see happening around us. The disciples “saw” the storm. They “felt” the water splashing upon them. They “heard” the winds howling. What they “saw”, “felt” and “heard” governed their belief– therefore, they believed that they would drown.

What they were experiencing said one thing, but Jesus had said something else. If they had held on to what Jesus had said they would have known that there was no possible way they were going to drown. If the Lord has spoken to you concerning a situation, listen to Him, don’t let the circumstances that are around you tell you what to believe. Let Jesus’ word be what governs your belief.

Have a great day. Circumstances say one thing.. Jesus says another.. which one will you listen to?

*****
Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.

So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

Most days, I know what the Seeds Of Faith post is going to be about by early morning, if not before then. But this morning I had no idea what I’d write about and had actually shared that with a couple of the FAM Fellowship members when another member emailed today’s devotional from John Walker, A Risky Obedience. And as soon as I read it, I knew why I didn’t know what to write about earlier today, and that this was it; especially since this is perfect confirmation of recent conversations with several fellowship members, including the one who sent it!

Though I’ve never heard anyone else actually associate risk with faith, a willingness to take risks truly is the essence of what faith requires; because if we KNOW the outcome, faith is not needed. Yet, fear of an unknown outcome is what so many men and women standing for marriage restoration really struggle with, which is why “letting go” is so hard! So let’s all ask the Lord to help us always trust Him enough to put our faith to the test and not be afraid to take risks as we rely on the power and promise of His Word and His unfailing faithfulness to bring it to pass in our lives. While I’ve often said that walking by faith is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute and trusting God to catch us, I like what John Walker says about taking risks even better. This is just such a simple and powerful message, so I hope and pray that everyone reading it will take it to heart, because when we stop being afraid to take risk as we trust and obey God, we will truly be blessed and encouraged…and discover that there’s NEVER any Risk with God!

One of the most startling and convincing passages of scripture I’ve ever read about the lengths God goes to in order to accomplish His will and purpose is 1 Kings 22:1-40. There’s NO way to read that without realizing that God REALLY means business when He says that His Word will NEVER return void (Isaiah 55:10-11) and that He will do WHATEVER it takes to accomplish what He has said He will do (Isaiah 46:10-11). But it really surprised me to learn that God would approve sending lying spirits to do it! That just didn’t seem like something God would do and I had such a hard time wrapping my mind around that; yet, there it is in black and white! So read it and think about that the next time the devil tempts you to think that God can’t or won’t get our spouses’ attention and MAKE them do exactly what His Word says He can and will do!

That’s really been brought to my attention in the past few days through the amazing testimonies of two FAM Fellowship members about how God has worked in totally unexpected ways in the lives of their spouses. And one of the most amazing things about that is that these ladies have very similar situations, and we have all come to expect that what happens with one of their husbands’ will soon happen with the other, because of how we’ve seen that happen over and over again! They both have three young children; their husbands both left them to live with other women; they both had their own businesses and left their wives and kids without providing ANY support; and they both ended up losing their businesses and everything else! And both men have just careened from one crisis situation to another; to the point that neither of them was working or even have a car. They’ve were both in court on the same day, were evicted at the same time; became homeless at the same time; lost their cars at the same time and on and on. Meanwhile, their wives have worked on becoming self-sufficient and are now in assisted housing programs; making it possible for them to pay their rent and live independently and create a better home environment for their kids. One is now working and paying all of her own bills and isn’t even receiving Food Stamps at this time! This is the first time she’s ever done that in her whole life, and her husband is VERY impressed; he sees her life just getting better and better while his is falling totally apart! And the other, who was held back a bit because she was pregnant when her husband left, got her driver’s license and now has her own car, her own apartment with nice “new” furniture and is working to complete her GED so she can eventually independently support herself and her kids. Both women have learned to interact respectfully and kindly with their husbands and both look forward to being able to help support their families when their husbands come back home; now they won’t have to carry the burden of doing that all on their own. Both men are very impressed with what their wives have accomplished and greatly appreciate that they have NOT played the role of victim or tried to make their lives miserable or interfere with them in any way; they truly let their husbands go and put all of their hope, faith and confidence in the Lord! And they both have been VERY faithful to praise the Lord and see His hand at work in EVERYTHING, no matter how bad things might appear in the natural! So it was never in doubt that the Lord would reward their obedience and faithfulness, and we’re now seeing that manifested in the natural realm of their lives!

First, the woman who is working and supporting herself and the kids without ANY support from her husband called me Saturday to share what happened to her husband Friday night. Apparently, he was asleep and had a visitation from Jesus! He said he was asleep, but he also thought he was awake…someone was in front of him and He said “SNO (Spouse Name Omitted), do you remember me? And SNO said he couldn’t speak! Then He said “SNO, I am Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior. Do you remember me?” That was it; He was gone! But it sure got SNO’s attention! And when he left after telling his wife about that, he took three of Charles Stanley’s books with him! And since this is a young man who used to actually preach as an evangelist, we’ve all been totally amazed to see how he continues to resist all that the Lord has so obviously done to get his attention; but it looks like the Lord has finally decided to take a more direct approach! And if that was Jesus, there’s no way change won’t follow, because NO ONE can ever have an encounter with Jesus and remain unchanged! And SNO has been telling his wife how unhappy he is lately and acknowledging what a mess he has made of their lives and that his life has never been in such disarray. He obviously wants out of the situation he’s in, but can’t figure out HOW to accomplish that. He’s even been moving some of his clothes and stuff into his wife’s closet, so it’s obvious that he really wants to be there too. And he’s really been drawn back to his children lately, and they’ve been pretty vocal about their wishes for him to come home. So it’s hard to believe it will be long before he comes home; Jesus is obviously going to show him the way! So never forget that when all else fails, Jesus Himself can and will pay our spouses a visit and they will never be the same!

Then on Monday, I heard from the other woman who had just received a call from her husband; he had a very interesting “favor” to request. And that was just after another member had said “Watch out, SNO!”–When I shared the first testimony with her. That’s just how confident we are that what happens to one of these men is likely to happen in some form or another with the other! Well, the favor was to rent and watch a movie he said he wanted to talk to her about! Since the movie is pretty raunchy in terms of language and lewd content, I don’t want to share the title of it here. But just the title was enough to make it clear that this was a very significant request, and it could well be renamed ‘The Anatomy of Adultery!” The story line had so many similarities to their situation that it was almost unbelievable and there’s little doubt how it spoke to SNO! But one of the most interesting things to me is that this movie probably accounts for the drastic, abrupt and consistent change we observed in SNO a few months ago…right after his wife had prayed for the Lord to show him where he belonged! His entire attitude toward her and the kids changed almost overnight. He couldn’t get enough time with the kids and kept requesting extra time with them (after going weeks with NO contact with them at all!); he didn’t get upset when she let him know that she had to go to court for more child support for their third baby and for spousal support now as well, in order to get into the housing program she was trying to get into (which is now coming out of his unemployment income), and he actually started aggressively flirting with her too! It’s very difficult for him to get away from the NCP for even one minute, but he said he would find a way to talk to her about what he wanted to within a few days; so now we’re eagerly waiting to see what he wants to say! And he has also admitted in recent conversations what a mess his life is and that he doesn’t feel that he’s where he’s supposed to be! And even though he literally ignored his wife’s pregnancy and the baby after he was born (because that’s what the NCP insisted on—she had a baby by him a month after his wife’s baby was born), he says he now feels very drawn to him! Praise the Lord for that, because that was one of the most difficult things to understand! It will be interesting to find out when SNO saw that movie, because it appears that the Lord used it to finally open his eyes and show him how wrong what he’s done is in the eyes of God and for his family, and even himself! When I heard about this, I couldn’t help thinking of Genesis 50:20 and even Romans 8:28! It’s a pretty safe assumption that as SNO began to watch that movie, he had no way of knowing how it would change the course of his life! And I can’t help wondering what the NCP thought when they were watching it, because there’s little doubt he could have watched it without her and SNO has also acknowledged that he is sure that she knows something has changed in him and that he no longer wants to be there! So we NEVER know what God can and will use to reach us or our spouses!

It’s just not possible to witness what God is doing in the marriages and lives of these two young couples and not see that He is doing exactly what His Word promises in Hosea 2; especially in verses 6 and 7 (NLT), which say “For this reason I will fence her in with thornbushes. I will block her path with a wall to make her lose her way. When she runs after her lovers, she won’t be able to catch them. She will search for them but not find them. Then she will think, ‘I might as well return to my husband, for I was better off with him than I am now.’ I strongly recommend that everyone who is standing for marriage restoration read Hosea 2 often; especially when adultery is involved as it almost always is. And read it in the various translations, because for those who are standing for marriage restoration even after their spouses have remarried; it’s important to note that MOST versions state that she will return to her “first husband.” And most Bible scholars agree that Gomer had married again after leaving Hosea. The NASB says “Therefore, behold, I will hedge up her way with thorns, And I will build a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths. “She will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; And she will seek them, but will not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first husband, For it was better for me then than now!’ Not only is this a portrait of how God works in the lives of our unfaithful spouses and brings them back; but it’s a portrait of how He works in the lives of anyone who walks away from him and becomes involved in a sinful lifestyle. So read all of Hosea to see how God does that. It’s SO important for us to understand and BELIEVE that when we stand for the deliverance of our spouses and for the restoration of our marriages and families, that it’s God’s Word we stand on, with full and complete confidence and assurance that HE CAN AND WILL USE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO MAKE IT COME TO PASS IN OUR LIVES AND THE LIVES OF OUR SPOUSES!!! And the private pages of the FAM Fellowship sites are filled with testimonies of God’s faithfulness to do just that. But it’s also interesting and significant to note that those who have the most amazing testimonies are also those who have habitually had the Word of God in their mouths and readily shared it to help support and encourage others! And if God can make a donkey talk to get someone’s attention, as He did in Numbers 22:21-31, there’s no reason to ever doubt that He can and will use anything and everything to get our spouses’ attention and bring the fulfillment of His Word and will for our marriages and families to pass! And ALL we have to know, even though there IS so much more, is that GOD HATES DIVORCE…PERIOD!!! And He makes that ABUNDANTLY AND UNAMBIGEOUSLY CLEAR in Malachi 2!

After hearing about one husband being visited by Jesus and the call about watching the movie from the other Monday evening, I fully intended to write this post yesterday. But since I was feeling a bit out of sorts, I put it off until today. However, with that in mind; I couldn’t believe how well yesterday morning’s Coffee Break devotional from Lorraine Ezell went along with it! So read Lorraine’s message and be blessed and encouraged to know that in addition to using anything and everything to accomplish His will and purpose, whenever necessary, God CAN and WILL create our miracles and anything we need right “out of thin air!”

*****
Out Of Thin Air by Lorraine Ezell

“But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

As I awoke this morning the Lord was speaking something to me. It was on the order of: “if you need a job, I can create one for you.” I want to try to be brief and to the point this morning in explaining what He meant. Years ago I had a friend who needed a job and the Lord created one just for her. The job did not exist before, but God brought it forth “out of thin air” to meet her need. When her need was met, the job played out and no longer existed.

The jest of what the Lord was saying to me this morning was for you and it is: whatever you have need of, He can meet it, even if He has to “make” it. He can cause a company to make a new position so you will have a job. He can establish something where nothing was before in order to meet your need. And He will do it if that is what it takes.

When God was ready to create mankind, He brought forth the earth that had not existed in order to give us a place to live. When the Israelites were in the wilderness they needed food. God sent manna in the morning, they gathered it and then it was gone when their need was met. He sends us just what we need, when we need it, and if what we need does not exist, He’ll create it.

Have a great day. God will create what you need out of “thin air” if it doesn’t already exist in order to meet your need.

*****
Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.

So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

As humans, there’s just something in our nature that loves to make things a lot more complicated than they are or even need to be, which is why simple examples of kingdom principles often seem so powerful! That’s why I love it when the Lord works to illustrate them as He has in the past few weeks and reveals how they apply as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families.

I happen to be an avid gardener and after buying my first home on my own a little over eight years ago, I devoted a great deal of time, labor and money to turning my yard into a series of beautiful flower beds and gardens. In fact, one of the earliest Seeds Of Faith posts I wrote, God’s Glorious Creation Is an example of how God used gardening to teach me how He works the same miraculous way to restore what “appear” to be dead marriages and how just like our gardens in the spring; they will be better and even more glorious than ever before when He revives and rejuvenates them! But putting so much time into getting the ministry off the ground and then doing all that I needed to once it got going; my yard suffered terribly from neglect because I just didn’t have the time to maintain it as I previously had. And being as involved in the ministry as I was, in addition to not having the time and experiencing a greater loss of vision, I didn’t even have the same inclination, which surprised me quite a bit. Of course, now that even makes sense too; God took that heart’s desire away so I wouldn’t experience a conflict concerning what I wanted and needed to do. So I thought my gardening days were over, which was in part why I had seriously considered selling my house and moving on several occasions when my finances were stretched pretty thin. But each time, it seemed that the Lord put up roadblocks, so I finally made peace with staying here even though my yard was depressingly neglected and I felt guilty about allowing it to get so bad!

So for the past two years, as spring and the time for getting out in the yard approached, I didn’t get what I call “bitten by the spring bug” and was REALLY surprised when I felt that old familiar urge again this year! But since the ministry was unusually quiet (in terms of posts and responses on the private websites—which I often spend much of my time editing) and I have help now, I thought I’d tackle getting the yard back in order so I could enjoy it once again. I knew I’d feel a lot healthier and more fit and be much happier with a yard I’d enjoy and appreciate again instead of feeling so bad about letting it go as I had. So I let some of the people who help in the ministry know that I planned to “sort of” take a few weeks off; still doing the things I absolutely have to do, but not devoting as much time to it as usual. Since I hadn’t taken any time off at all since establishing FAMM, I felt that would be okay and as it happens, things have even been a lot quieter than usual and I’ve been able to keep up with everything I need to AND still work in the yard. But the Saturday before Easter, I really hurt my back trying to lift something I shouldn’t have been lifting, and that put me out of commission and kept me from doing a lot of what I needed to for over a week. THEN I had a bout with allergies and that took the wind out of my sails and put me behind again! Then, all seemed well and I intended to get a lot of my new plants out this past Saturday; but we had some pretty serious thunder storms on the way, which would have destroyed my tender little mail ordered plants!

But as each of these delays cropped up, I just kept telling myself “Romans 8:28…so this is working for good SOMEHOW, even if I can’t see it!” And I’d just laugh about it! That’s what I told myself when I ran into roadblocks about selling the house and moving as well, because it really is one of my favorite and most comforting and reassuring verses of scripture! But when the thunder storms kept me from the yard this weekend, I admit that I finally started questioning if I had made the right decision about working in the yard again and I started asking the Lord if He was trying to tell me something; perhaps He wasn’t too happy about me taking some time away from the ministry after all; or perhaps I shouldn’t have spent the money I did to get things fixed up in the yard and around the house. But I claimed a few scriptures that came to mind and that reassured me; like He gives us the desires of our hearts when we delight in Him (Psalm 37:4), and I knew working in the yard was a desire of my heart and that I was still delighting in Him; that He promised to give us the things the pagans run after when we seek first His righteousness and His kingdom (Matthew 6:32-34), and I knew I was still seeking Him first; and when we abide in Christ and His Word, there is no condemnation Romans 8:1, and I knew I was doing that too. So I finally came back to Romans 8:28 and just decided to rest in that promise and not worry about things I couldn’t change, and to resist Satan’s attempt to make me feel guilty or think that God was displeased with me for taking some much needed and appreciated rest, relaxation and down time! That’s SO like the devil; he ALWAYS tries to take what God is actually doing and using to blessus and make us questionit!

Then Saturday afternoon, I checked online for the weather forecast and was more than a little surprised to see that some VERY cold weather was on the way; it said that it was supposed to go down into the lower thirties tonight and tomorrow night! Well, the first thing I thought of was how thankful and glad I was that my new plants weren’t planted; because I’d probably lose most of them if they were! So instead of God chastising me as the devil wanted me to believe (and which I WOULD have believed if not claiming an relying on the written Word of God and speaking it to myself), God was in fact looking out for me! And now instead of being disappointed that my back injury and allergies kept me from getting everything done as I had intended; I am now SO thankful for the delays! What a perfect example of why we should not get upset when things don’t seem to be going our way and what Romans 8:28 means and how it really applies in our lives! And if God went to all of that trouble to help in something so insignificant as my gardening success and pleasure; how could I EVER doubt that He would do the exact same thing when it comes to the really important stuff!

Then my pastor taught out of John 15 yesterday, which is another one of my favorite passages of scripture and very important to all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families; especially verses 1-11 (AMP), which says:
1 I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser.
2 Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit [that stops bearing] He cuts away (trims off, takes away); and He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit.
3 You are cleansed and pruned already, because of the word which I have given you [the teachings I have discussed with you].
4 Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me.
5 I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing.
6 If a person does not dwell in Me, he is thrown out like a [broken-off] branch, and withers; such branches are gathered up and thrown into the fire, and they are burned.
7 If you live in Me [abide vitally united to Me] and My words remain in you and continue to live in your hearts, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you.
8 When you bear (produce) much fruit, My Father is honored and glorified, and you show and prove yourselves to be true followers of Mine.
9 I have loved you, [just] as the Father has loved Me; abide in My love [ continue in His love with Me].
10 If you keep My commandments [if you continue to obey My instructions], you will abide in My love and live on in it, just as I have obeyed My Father’s commandments and live on in His love.
11 I have told you these things, that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy and gladness may be of full measure and complete and overflowing.
My pastor read the above passage of scripture from a version I’m not familiar with and which was different than he normally uses and he either read it accurately or I just heard him say something that isn’t written in ANY version! But when I “heard” him read the last verses, I could have sworn that I heard him say something about “if…and if my words are in your mouth…” Well, I got very excited and couldn’t wait to get home and read that passage in all the different versions; but I couldn’t find what I was so sure I had heard anywhere! Yet, I just KNEW that was a very important statement; that we will have all that we ask for and that our joy will be made complete when we have the Word of God in our mouths! So I looked for verses to verify that and confirm why it’s so important and powerful to literally have the words of God in our mouths, and the following are just a few indicating how significant that is:

Deuteronomy 30:14 – No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

1 Kings 17:24 – Then the woman said to Elijah, “Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the LORD from your mouth is the truth.”

Psalm 33:6 – By the word of the LORD were the heavens made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

Psalm 119:43 – Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth, for I have put my hope in your laws.

So while there’s so much of great importance to everyone standing for marriage restoration in the above passages of scripture; it’s also important to realize that one of the best ways to “abide in Christ” is to ALWAYS have the Word of God in our mouths, which makes perfect sense since we know that the key to winning spiritual warfare is taking every thought captive and making them obedient to Jesus Christ ( 2 Corinthians 10:1-6), which is the Word! And that is exactly what Jesus did when the devil came to tempt Him; He responded EVERY time with “It is written…” So the devil finally just gave up and left! And understanding that is especially important for us since Proverbs 16:1 even says To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. And there’s NO doubt whose plans we want to come to pass for our marriages and families!

So now I intend to be a lot more conscious of SPEAKING the words of the Lord into my life and circumstances, because God reminded me of the past few weeks and how I have been doing that even though I wasn’t thinking of it in those terms at the time! Yet, whenever something came up to disappoint or thwart MY plans, speaking and contemplating the scriptures the Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance gave me peace even though the devil was doing his dead level best to steal, kill and destroy it! What perfect confirmation of 1 John 3:19-22, which says This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. So as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families, when our hearts trouble us, let’s remember to always keep the words of God in our mouths so we can release His supernatural power in our lives and situations; and we and our loved ones can be blessed for the completion of our joy and His glory. When we accept the simple truth and power of God’s Word and learn to keep it in our mouths, we will indeed be blessed and encouraged; especially when we remember that Psalm 103:20 declares Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. That sure sounds like a good reason to abide in God’s Word by keeping it in our mouths and to SPEAK healing and restoration into our lives and marriages instead of the destructive words born of the lies from Satan, who is just a defeated foe and the father of lies! So let’s be sure to give those angels something to work with!

The following was posted by a new FAM Fellowship member in response to Tuesday’s post, Recognizing the power of our Words, and since it was something I knew couldn’t be published without dealing with some of the issues she raised, I debated how to handle it; whether I should send a private reply or publish the response and respond to it on the site. But since the issues raised in it are very likely some of the same questions many other men and women standing for marriage restoration have in their own hearts and minds, I’ve decided to share it here and to respond to it here as well.

“Hi everyone. This is the first time I am responding. Thank you firstly for your faithfulness to the Word of God and your uncompromising stand for marriage restoration.

I accept that it is very important in standing for the restoration of our marriages to understand the part that we wittingly or unwittingly play in the breakdown of our marriages. I accept that many times in my marriage (due to my distance from our Lord and His Word) that I did not act in accordance with His Word and sinned before Him as a result. I have repented of those times (that the Holy Spirit has revealed to me). However, I must say that I cannot be held accountable for the choices that my partner has made. What I am saying is that, for example, when a spouse becomes involved in excessive pornography (as with a lady I have recently met) after a year of marriage, surely one cannot say that the breakdown of her marriage is partly due to any ‘error’ on her part…. I recognized a long time ago that there were ‘cracks’ in my marriage and tried to get my husband to go to counseling, prayed for him, prayed for the Lord to change me, to forgive me, to reveal error in my life but still he made the choice to have an affair. That was “his” choice. That choice led to the breakdown of our marriage. I have gone back to him and asked his forgiveness, repented of whatever I may have done to cause him to seek solace elsewhere but I need to be careful that I don’t stand in the way of what our precious Lord is doing and make sure that my motive is not to manipulate the situation at all or for selfish reasons (to make my pain go away). I have tried to always do the right thing but I cannot be held accountable for a breakdown of a marriage by someone who continually makes bad choices in life. I really struggle with this….”

First, I want to thank MNO (Member Name Omitted) for sharing something so personal and for being so honest about the questions she has, especially when she apparently read something that made her believe that she needed to do something she feels isn’t right. It takes a certain amount of courage to challenge something like that publicly as she did, and rather than be offended by it, I hope I’ll always welcome such opportunities, because they help make me more thoughtful about how I word things and provide an opportunity for clarification and further explanation. And in most cases, if one person has a question about something, others probably do as well. So the following is my reply to MNO and anyone else struggling with the same issues:

Dear MNO,

As you noticed, I didn’t publish your response to Tuesday’s Seeds Of Faith post, and that’s because I needed to take some time to consider my reply and if I should respond on the site or privately, especially since you’re new to the ministry and fellowship. But since your questions are probably the same as those in the minds and hearts of many others, I hope you won’t mind that I’ve decided to publish your response and to reply here in an effort to help others who struggle with the same issues.

First, it is always a good thing when we examine and accept our own mistakes, shortcomings and failures when our marriages fall apart; that is absolutely necessary if we hope to have a lasting, happy and fulfilling restored marriage. Otherwise, we’ll just end up in the same place one day even if our marriages are restored somehow without doing so; though that probably isn’t likely. But if we believe that we are not at fault at all in the breakdown of our marriages, we are terribly deceived.

For instance, concerning the wife whose husband was caught up in pornography; without knowing anything else about the situation, I can tell you that she did not act in accordance with what the Bible teaches a wife to do in several respects, and therefore did play a part in the failure of her marriage. She did not cover her husband’s nakedness and sin and she did harm to his reputation by telling anyone else about what he was doing; all of which the Bible says love and a wife of noble character and great worth wouldn’t do, as indicated in the following verses and MANY others:

Proverbs 10:12 – Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 17:9 – He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

1 Peter 4:8 – Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Proverbs 31:10-12 – A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

The only way to evaluate whether or not we are and have been the spouses God calls us to be is by our adherence to the standards set forth in the Bible. And when we act contrary to the roles and instructions provided in the Bible, we ARE at fault and at least partially responsible for the destruction of our marriages. Marriage was instituted by God and He told us very specifically how to make them work, and when we don’t do what He teaches us to do, we can’t expect to have the marriages God wants and intended for us to have. The ONLY way to get God’s results is to DO what God tells us to do. In fact, in Luke 6:46-49, Jesus warned us that our houses will come down with a great crash and be completely destroyed if we hear His words and don’t DO them; He said:
46 “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?
47 I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice.
48 He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.
49 But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”>

MNO, as for being held accountable for your husband’s sin and thereby responsible for the problems in your marriage; perhaps you misunderstood something written in one of the posts you read that made you think that’s what it meant, but I can assure you that it didn’t mean that at all. However, the problem and our contribution to the destruction of our marriages is when WE try to hold and make our spouses accountable for their sin, shortcomings and failures. And by trying to talk your husband into going to counseling, it’s apparent that you were at least engaged in conversation and an effort to make him accountable for behavior you didn’t approve of or like, which is contrary to the instructions wives are given in 1 Peter 3:1-6 and other passages of scripture.. 1 Peter 3:6 (NASB) says:
1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3 Your adornment must not be merely external–braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

Since the respect and honor of their wives is very important to men and since wives are very specifically instructed to honor and respect their husbands (and based on the example above in the reference to Sarah honoring Abraham, thereby allowing herself to be taken into the Pharaoh’s home, that means UNCONDITIONAL honor), asking your husband to go to counseling undoubtedly contributed to the breakdown of your marriage. He couldn’t have felt respected, admired or honored when you did that. Quite the contrary; your words and efforts to get him to seek counseling indicated your disapproval and probably made him feel even worse about himself than he already did. As I often share with FAM Fellowship members; we all have a relationship account with our spouses (and everyone else we know), and when an encounter or communication with us (be it in person, email, text message letters or what they’ve heard we’ve said about them to someone else) makes them feel good about themselves, we make a deposit in our relationship account. But when an encounter or communication with us makes them feel bad about themselves, we make a withdrawal from our relationship account. And the sad thing that is so hard to understand or explain is that when we first start dating, we rarely make withdrawals and instead make continuous deposits; usually huge ones at that. But something seems to happen once we get married and we start making almost nothing but withdrawals! And then someone comes along that makes nothing but deposits in THEIR relationship account, and that’s when our spouses tend to stray. Since God made us and knows exactly how we’re wired, we just have to put our faith and confidence in HIS wisdom, and when He says that we can win over a disobedient spouse (disobedient to the Word) by our behavior and WITHOUT A WORD; that’s EXACTLY what He means. Yet, that just makes absolutely NO sense to us! And that’s why Proverbs 3:5-6 so wisely instructs us Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. That’s why it’s SO important for us to know the Word; how can we acknowledge the Lord in all of our ways (in everything we say and do) if we don’t know HIS ways as taught and revealed in His Word? We can’t. In fact, Hosea 4:6 warns that my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. …

And while we are in no way responsible or accountable for the choices our spouses make, we will be held accountable and bear the consequences of whether or not we forgive them when they make wrong choices; for whether or not we demonstrate unconditional love and show them respect and honor even when they aren’t being very honorable or respectable, as wives are instructed by God to do. And just as with the lady whose husband was caught up in pornography, God calls us to cover over the wrongs, offenses and sins of our spouses and to not keep a record of those wrongs; much less use them to harm their reputations or to put the blame on our spouses for all the problems in our marriages. As Jesus told those who wanted to stone the woman caught in adultery; only when we are without sin should we cast stones at our spouses. And IF we think we’re without sin, or without blame or fault in the demise of our marriages, we just prove ourselves deceived, because that is never true and it’s quite prideful, which is dangerous indeed! As 1 Peter 5:5-6 says Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

And finally, in our humanness, we all tend to think in terms of what is right and fair, but we can’t afford to play the blame game. So we need to see what God’s Word tells us about that too. In the original text of the Bible, there were no chapter and verse distinctions as in our Bibles today, so it’s often very important and instructive to read the preceding verses of a passage of scripture we’re studying. And that’s especially important when reading 1 Peter 3 (instructions to husbands and wives) since it starts out saying “In the same way….” So it’s not possible to fully understand and comprehend the amazing significance and importance of Peter’s instructions without going back and reading 1 Peter 2 to find out exactly what “in the same way” refers to! So I strongly encourage every husband and wife struggling with feelings that things are not fair or right, or who are and have been mistreated in some way by their spouses to read and very seriously meditate on 1 Peter 2, particularly verses 18-25. And then read the instructions given to husbands and wives and all of us in 1 Peter 3

That should pretty much put an end to thoughts of being mistreated and things not being fair or right. We have to understand that standing for our marriages at this time in our lives, for ALL of us, is a ministry that the Lord has called us to, and it is NOT about us. God has allowed all of this to happen so that at the end of our stand, and through it all if we trust Him and walk through it with Him as we should; Jesus will be lifted up and glorified. And that’s not going to happen as long as we continue to see ourselves as helpless and blameless victims of our circumstances and/or the choices and actions of our spouses. Either we believe the Word of God or not. Either we believe that He CAN and WILL restore our marriages and families NO MATTER What or not. So it’s up to each of us to decide if we’d rather be a victim or a victor, because it’s not possible to be both! And we start by recognizing that our spouses are caught up in sin and deception and that if not for the grace of God, it could just as easily be us, and that they need us to honor our marriage vows for better or worse and stand in the gap for them, being fully persuaded that God’s will always prevails and that the power in us is greater than the power the devil is now using to deceive and control our beloved husbands and wives.. As Proverbs 21:30 (and MANY other verses) promises and reassures us; There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. So when we BELIEVE that and focus on EVERY Word that comes from the mouth of the Lord, we WILL BE blessed and encouraged!

(Note from Linda; I guess it shouldn’t have been any surprise to see this message from Lorraine this morning, which confirms so much of yesterday’s SOF post; but as I always am, I just never ceased to be amazed by how God does this over and over again! So be blessed and encouraged as you read today’s awesome Coffee Break devotion!)

*****
“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” Psalm 103:2

The Lord is so good to us. He blesses us in so many ways. Some of His blessings that we experience are health, food on our tables, clothes on our back, abundant life, eternal life, forgiveness of sins, and a list of other blessings too numerous to name. There is no doubt that He blesses us, and does so daily. He blesses you, are you blessing Him? How do we bless the Lord? We bless Him when we give Him praise and tell Him how great and wonderful He is, how much we appreciate His goodness, when we sing His praises from a heart of gratitude. But praise is not the only way we bless Him. He is blessed when we tell others about His saving grace. He is blessed when we are obedient to His commands. We bless Him by treating others with kindness and by bearing the fruit of the Spirit and by walking uprightly before Him. He is blessed when we let our lights shine, when we exhibit a Christ like attitude in the midst of persecution, criticism, tribulation.
He is blessed when we don’t murmur and complain while going through trials. He is blessed when we decrease and put others first, when we help someone who is in need,
when we do what He would do. We bless him when we turn the other cheek and go the second mile, when we love our enemies, when we give a cup of cold water in His name.

God is blessed when we live out His word in our daily lives and when others see Jesus in us. Take note of what you say, do, how you live, react and respond; take note of your attitude in every situation you go through; take note of what you are showing others by your lifestyle. If what you are doing pleases God, then He is blessed. If it doesn’t, then He isn’t. Make the necessary changes so that He will be blessed.

Have a great day. He blesses you- no doubt about it… are you blessing Him?

*****
Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.

So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

It’s been very exciting and rewarding to have thirty-two new members join the FAM Fellowship so far this year; but as our membership grows, and we receive more and more testimonies from new members who are standing for the restoration of their marriages, my heart breaks. First, my heart breaks because I know and understand the pain their words reflect. But I also know that Jesus died to give us so much more peace and confidence than they’re able to express right now, and with the Lord’s help and grace, I hope and pray that He will use this ministry to help these men and women find the unshakeable peace He longs for them to have, and which comes ONLY through resting securely in HIS love, power and grace.

Since there’s so much in my heart to share with men and women now in that place of almost unbearable pain, perhaps the best way to do that is to provide links to some of the previous posts in Seeds Of Faith. I know from personal experience how important it is to learn the principles of marriage restoration, because like so many others, I was standing for my marriage for a long time before I really had a clue HOW to do it. And how I wish I had learned all of the things the Lord has since shown me MANY, MANY years ago! But even that is part of God’s perfect plan for our lives and HIS timing is ALWAYS perfect. So for reasons we may or may not ever know or understand, it’s ALWAYS the right time for all of us and our families–even if it doesn’t seem that way right now.

But in addition to everything else contained in the following links, there’s one very important principle we MUST learn to apply as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. While it’s important to recognize and acknowledge Satan’s power and authority, it is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT to NEVER forget that the power in us is greater than his power and that we DO have authority over him and the legions of wicked and evil spirits and demons he controls. And it is through the words we speak that we exercise our power and authority over him. The word of our testimony does not just refer to the testimony we have when we experience the restoration of our marriages or with other praise reports. Because the word of our testimony refers to EVERY word that comes out of our mouths! So instead of drawing unnecessary attention to what Satan has done or is trying to do, we need to put all of our focus on the power and authority of God, and that’s what our words need to draw attention to. Unfortunately, I’ve seen too many times when men and women allow themselves to get so out of balance with the realization that we are engaged in spiritual warfare that it keeps them from taking the inventory they need to take of themselves instead of casting stones at their spouses. So one of the most important challenges for all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families is to understand and recognize the importance and power of our spoken (and written) words. We LITERALLY speak and think things into being, and it’s SO much better for us and those we love when we understand that and start speaking good things into being; speaking life instead of death into our lives and marriages. The words we speak and write give power, honor and glory to the Lord or to Satan. And when we speak or write words that draw attention to, glorify or magnify Satan’s power and authority, we give him a place in our lives, circumstances and marriages. On the other hand, when our thoughts and words, the things we speak and write, glorify our Lord and Savior, we release the supernatural power of God to work in our lives, situations and marriages, and Satan has No place and NO power in them or against us and our families. And here are just a few Bible verses to confirm that.

Revelation 12:9-12 – The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.”

Psalm 66:3 – Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you.

2 Chronicles 32:7 – “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him.

1 Chronicles 29:11 – Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.

Psalm 150:2 – Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.

Proverbs 18:21 (AMP) – Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].

Psalm 19:14 – May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Proverbs 16:23 – A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.

Matthew 15:18 – But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’

Psalm 49:3 – My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding.

Luke 6:45 – The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Psalm 17:3 – Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin.

Romans 10:10 –For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

There’s ALWAYS work for the Lord to complete in US before restoring our marriages, and as long as we resist what He’s trying to do in OUR hearts and in our relationship with Him, we will delay the restoration of our marriages. So as men and women standing for marriage restoration, we need to take a long and honest look at our failures and acknowledge our contribution to the destruction of our marriages, or we’re NOT likely to ever make the changes in ourselves that are necessary BEFORE our marriages can be restored. And if we don’t learn to conquer and control our thoughts and words, we are fighting a losing battle. So our goal is to focus so much more on who we are in Christ and to realize that that is So much more important than what’s happened in our marriages. And when the Lord REALLY starts doing housecleaning in OUR hearts, we’ll start to see that we contributed a lot to the breakdown of our marriages too, and that makes it a lot more difficult to be so critical or hard on our spouses. And restoration is NOT possible until we realize that. Trust me; I spent way too many years focused on the pain, heartache, disappointment and devastation. I had a very long laundry list of everything my husband did wrong, but since the lord really started working on me, I can honestly say that I no longer feel victimized by my husband; because my heart is broken by the recognition of the things I did to cause him so much pain and disappointment. My husband loved me dearly and I did not treasure and value that gift, much less guard and protect it, as I should have. And even after things went so wrong, I continued doing everything wrong, simply because I was playing my role as the wounded and abandoned wife so well and didn’t surrender or trust any of it to the Lord; much less practice the principles of restoration found in His Word! As long as we hold onto our role as victims and try to “manage” and “cope” with everything in and of our own strength, that’s all we’ll ever be. But when we allow the Lord to speak to us about the things He wants to change in US, and we allow that conviction to lead us into repentance and change, then we’ll be on the right road and begin creating the right environment for restoration. I don’t know why, but some men and women seem unable to make that transition, and lasting marriage restoration is NOT possible without it. And doing that is NOT possible without making the Lord first in our lives and hearts.

The following links are to previous posts in Seeds Of Faith, and while it’s a LOT of reading, it’s important for those who haven’t read them to do so, and it won’t even hurt to read them again, as I just have! They’re not in any particular order, but they have a lot of useful information and scripture references, especially for someone just learning the basics of standing for marriage restoration. And since they represent some of the most basic principles of marriage restoration, I’ll be adding a new page to the website with these and other links to make it easier for new standers to more readily access some of the most important things we all need to know and understand as we rely on the power and promise of God’s Word for the restoration of our marriages and families. So read them and be blessed and encouraged!

Satan Is A Liar & The Word Of God Is Truth

Taking Every Thought Captive & Making Them Obedient To Christ

What It Takes To Win The War

Overcoming Evil With Good

Understanding And Relying On The Awesome Power Of God

Understanding The Sacrifice Of Love

The Plank In Our Own Eye

The Gates Of Hell Will Not Prevail

What Does Our Testimony Say To Others About Jesus

Grace And Redemption

The Power Of Our Thoughts

Effective Prayer

Peace Through The Renewing Of Our Minds

In God’s Care

Praise And Glory To The Lord

Victory In Times Of Despair

The Power Of Humility

Accessing The Power Of Kingdom Thinking

The Fruit Of discipline And Promise Of Reward

Trust And Obey Or Feed Your Flesh

Do You Love The Lord

Sharing God’s Comfort

Who Are You

The Sacrifice Of Praise

God’s Name Is Jealous

Letting Go