When we think of fear, we usually equate it with fright, dread, panic, terror or perhaps trepidation. However, fear is also defined as having a reverential awe of someone or something, a profound reverence and awe – especially towards God. If we think of fear in terms of the latter definition, we can understand the importance of fearing God.

My hands have made both heaven and earth; they and everything in them are mine. I, the Lord, have spoken! “I will bless those who have humble and contrite hearts, who tremble at my word. (Isaiah 66:2 NLT)

This past Sunday, Pastor Eric shared four points to keep in mind when we think of fearing God. And he introduced his message with this quote from Oswald Chambers: It is the most natural thing in the world to be scared, and the clearest evidence that God’s grace is at work in our hearts is when we do not get into panics…. The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else.

The first point is that when we fear God, He becomes our first response in a crisis. That includes avoiding the familiar pathway of faith in human strength. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT) says Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.So when we learn to make God our first response in every situation, we can avoid those paths that lead us into the wilderness and uncertainty. But that involves putting ourselves in a position to hear God’s directions. So we must strive for knowledge and understanding of His Word.

Secondly, when we fear God we let God fight for us. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT) makes the point; Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body”. God purchased us at a price and put the Holy Spirit within us. So we can live daily with discernment and the understanding that our battle is not against people (especially our spouses). Ephesians 6:12 (NLT) states For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. So we must allow God’s strength to work through our fears and weaknesses.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT)
Our fear will be lifted when we make sure that we are pursuing God’s interests and not just our own selfish desires. We cannot expect God to answer our prayers and bless us in our disobedience. So we must align our prayer requests with the Word of God.

The third point is that when we fear God we make praise and thanksgiving a priority in our lives. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT) says Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

And finally, when we fear God it will lead others to fear God. As we stand for what God has called us to do in our marriages, being obedient to His Word, we must always be aware that people are watching us to see if we are real. And through God’s awesomeness and faithfulness, they will see what our God can and will do. So we have a huge responsibility to demonstrate our reverence and awe of God to our family, friends and others. As Romans 5:19 (NLT) reminds us, Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous.

Although in our obedience to God, we may be criticized or thought to be crazy, even by other believers, we can fear and reverence the Lord with total confidence in His unfailing and unconditional love. So reverential fear of God is essential in our spiritual growth and walk; when we fear God, He will not allow any other fear to consume us.

Note from Linda: As a mental health professional, I requested that Alex personally and privately respond to a post I pulled from the private website from one of our members who recently returned to the fellowship after a long absence, because of their obvious struggle with issues of doubt, discouragement and apparent symptoms of depression. I was so touched by Alex’s response that I asked her to use excerpts from it to write a post for puvlication here, because I know her experience as she struggled to stand for the restoration of her marriage is something many can relate to. And the wise counsel she provided for this member is something ALL of us can really benefit from as we stand for our marriages, especially those who still struggle to let go and surrender EVERYTHING to God. Thank you, Alex. You are such a blessing and FAMM is very fortunate to have you as a member of our family, and I have no doubt that the Lord uses your powerful testimony for His glory in ways beyond what we may ever know. Thank you for your faithfulness and obedience to the Lord’s call!

As per Linda’s request, I replied privately to a member of our fellowship who is struggling with issues of doubt and depression, with the hope of providing comfort and encouragement. And since Linda felt excerpts of my private communication with this particular stander would be helpful to others, she asked me to share them with everyone, so here goes:

I joke about it now, but the cold truth is that I stood for my marriage for six years ONLY because of my stubbornness. My stand could have been much shorter had I submitted sooner. During the first three years of my stand, I just kept telling God what to do and I was frustrated when He didn’t fix it. I still wanted to be in control, even though I didn’t have the best track record when it came to making good choices! So I really struggled to let my marriage go.

But God doesn’t work like Burger King. It’s not “our way, right away”…but I wanted it to be! So I had to learn to trust myself to God’s processes, rather than be results oriented. True change began to happen in my household and in my marriage only when I began to draw closer to God and submit to the changes He wanted to bring about it me. It’s a hard word, but it’s the truth. We are told to seek first the kingdom of God and then all else shall be added unto us. That was very difficult for me. My past had shaped me to want control; it had given me a sense that I was owed something for all my pain and it had also made me very afraid of experiencing pain again.

My husband was my idol; more important to me than God at that time. In the fourth year of my stand, the Lord spoke very clearly to me about Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice Isaac because of his faith and that’s when a light bulb went off in my spirit. I realized that God was asking me to surrender back to Him all the promises of restoration; all my dreams for our family. He needed to know that He meant more to me than those promises. So I made that decision to surrender it all back to Him, and from that time on, I began to experience God in relationship. My trust began to grow; my knowledge of God’s love became more important to me than His promises. He became first in my life. Psalm 73:21-26 tells the story When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

And yes, my husband had a heart of stone. There were times when he couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with me. I heard all of the usual “I don’t love you anymore.” etc. I went through the stages where he would begin to draw close and then back even farther away. But as you see by my recent post, God softens the hardest of hearts. Go back and read that post again and remember, I had committed adultery and even my husband was sure that he could never recover from that. But as Romans 9:16 says It does not therefore depend on man’s desire or effort but on God’s mercy. So our spouses’ behavior during this time has no power to defeat God’s ultimate plan of restoration. The best thing we can do for our spouses is to allow them to make their own choices and let God speak to them through the consequences. God promises to uphold them as it says in Romans 14:4 …To his own master a man stands or falls. And he will stand because the Lord is able to make him stand.

When I went to my pastor for counseling, I was told that I didn’t need a counselor; I needed a divorce lawyer…and that from a pastor! But, who was proved right in the end…God or man? So we have to be careful about who we seek counsel from. Even among Christians, there are many who wade into their faith only “ankle deep.” But anyone called by God to stand for marriage restoration and bring Him glory by such a powerful testimony, can only do so by plunging in completely. Just as Linda’s post says, God requires radical faith.

I found a lot of comfort in reading the story in Mark 5 about Jairus, the synagogue ruler. He came to Jesus seeking healing for his daughter who was deathly ill. On their way to Jairus’s home, they are intercepted and informed that Jairus’s daughter is dead. Jairus is then told not to bother Jesus anymore. But this was Jesus’ response as written in verse 36 Ignoring what they said, Jesus told Jairus, “Do not be afraid, just believe. Sometimes it is the simplest things that are the hardest to do. The only one we need to listen to about our restoration is God; we should ignore anyone who speaks contrary to the Word of God. And it’s important to surround ourselves with those people who can believe with us and support us in our stand. FAM is a wonderful place to do just that, and Romans 1:12 tells us to mutually encourage each other in our faith. I grew at a much faster rate when I got involved with FAM. I found truth, accountability, support, fellowship and encouragement; all of which I needed to dig in my heels and cross the finish line. Jesus performed miracles so that others would see and believe; the story of Lazarus is a wonderful example of that. In FAM, God has brought about restorations with the intention of strengthening the faith of others and bringing them comfort and hope for their own miracles. We then, in turn, go out into our jobs, our churches, wherever God plants us and share that good news with the world!

King David understood depression and anxiety and he cried out to God honestly about what He felt. I found honesty in my prayer time to be a release. So we have to share our hurt, our confusion, and our anger with God; He already knows it’s there. There is relief when we confess and then commit to doing things God’s way. And for immediate relief from sleeplessness and anxiety, we can read Psalms and ask God to make His Word alive for us; He will honor that prayer. And when we ask for discernment to better understand what we are reading, He will give that also. He delights in doing that. But these will be just words unless we activate our faith and actually believe them. Anxiety comes from fear, which comes from the fact that our faith is weak. And that indicates that we do not trust God to fulfill His promises. But this is what Romans 4:18-21 says about Abraham’s faith Abraham did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised.

Praying and reading the Bible is ineffectual if we don’t receive what we read as complete, life-changing truth. And we get into trouble when we look at our circumstances as truth. One of the biggest struggles I had during my stand was that I am a deep-feeling person, so I constantly referred to my feelings as a gauge for truth. But feelings are not facts; neither are circumstances, and we can’t rely on them! So if you pray for peace, don’t wait until you “feel” peace to start claiming and believing that you have received it. Making time every day for God’s word has been key for me. As it says in Mark 6:31 Jesus said “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and rest.” During my stand, I continued to pray for my husband and marriage, but in the last year and a half, God led me to put an emphasis on praying for personal change and to cement my relationship with Him. And that must come before restoration can come.

I love Psalm 20 May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May He send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion…May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God…Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed; He answers him from His holy heaven with the saving power of His right hand…we trust in the name of the Lord our God, we rise up and stand firm.

As I told this particular stander, I don’t just suggest these things for the sake of suggesting them. God has been faithful to me and everyone else I know who has had their marriage restored or who has overcome depression, because we all applied the same faith and made the same commitment to learn and trust God’s word. We made God first in our hearts and God is our ultimate guide. And it was only by seeking Him in His word that we found true peace and contentment. Sometimes people read personal testimonies and feel inadequate, as if they lack some quality of character that would enable them to overcome. But that isn’t true. Look at David, he was an adulterer; yet God loved him. Peter denied Jesus but God used him to build the church. God is in the before and after makeover business, but He does His work from the inside out. Before God got a hold of me, I was jealous, angry, insecure, selfish, and bitter. I was a people pleaser; needing others for validation. I used to hate myself so much that I couldn’t look in the mirror without wanting to throw something at the image. But my “after shot” is much different! I have a peace and joy; I smile at myself in the mirror; I no longer need to prove myself to others. Only God can do such a deep work in us. So if you feel that you don’t have what it takes, don’t worry, He will equip you! Joyce Meyer likes to say that she was just a big-mouthed housewife before God got hold of her, and look at her ministry now! Below are some scriptures that really helped me during my stand; there are countless more, but there isn’t enough space! Hugs, Alex

Ezekiel 34:25-31 I will make a covenant of peace with them, I will bless them…there will be showers of blessing…the people will be secure in their land…they will know that I am the Lord when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who have enslaved them…they will live in safety and no one will make them afraid.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.

Romans 8:15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear.

Romans 4:17 We serve the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as if they are.

Romans 8:25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Jeremiah 33:11& 14 There will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness, the voice of bride and bridegroom…”the days are coming”, declares the Lord “when I will fulfill the gracious promise I made.

Psalm 33 and 34 are great for learning how to trust the Lord in times of trouble

Zephaniah 3:9-20 O Daughter, shout aloud, be glad and rejoice with all your heart, the Lord has taken away your punishment, He has turned back your enemy. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. “The sorrows” says the Lord, “I will remove from you; they are a burden and a reproach to you. I will rescue those that have been scattered. At that time I will gather you; at that time I will bring you home.

Joshua 21:45 Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time.

What a difference it makes in our lives as Christians when we finally realize and understand that we have to CHOOSE to be victorious or that by default we will remain victims. In fact, as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, without VERY intentionally and deliberately choosing to be victorious, we will most assuredly remain helpless and hopeless victims of our unfortunate circumstances. But when we choose to stand on the power and promise of God’s Word, WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS; just as Romans 8:28 32 says:
…we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

By reading the above passage of scripture, we should understand the power and promise it holds, but the truth is that few really do, because it’s not reflected in the way we live our daily lives. For some reason, we just don’t grasp the importance of REALLY BELIEVING God’s Word and that we can stand on its power and promise, or that when we do, we CANAND WILL walk in victory through God’s provision and protection. But when we don’t believe God and when we don’t put our faith and confidence in the power and promise of His Word, completely relying on His ability and faithfulness to provide for our every need and to protect us in every circumstance, we are destined to remain victims of our circumstances and we risk being left to wander around in the wilderness and desolation of separation and divorce for the rest of our lives. One of the most powerful passages of scripture that really helps us understand the nature and character of God and how He works in our lives and in response to our attitudes and the words we speak, be they good or bad, is found in Numbers 13:26-14:45. So it’s very important to read and carefully study this passage to learn and understand how God reacted to the difference in the attitudes displayed by Joshua and Caleb and the others, and even how God responded when Moses reminded Him of the need to guard His own reputation and keep His Word! There’s so much to learn here if we would just apply the same principles to our own circumstances and attitudes as we stand against the world for the restoration of our marriages and families. All twelve men who went to explore the land saw and experienced the same thing, but oh what a difference in attitudes between the other ten men and that of Joshua and Caleb. And the reason they had such different attitudes was because they filtered what they saw and heard through the confidence and expectations they placed in the power and promise of their God; recognizing themselves as victorious and not victims! So instead of focusing on existing or potential problems, they focused on the power and promise of God’s Word, which led them to reap the victory of the Promised Land instead of reaping the destruction and disappointment experienced by the others. So we all have to choose whose report we’re going to believe; the lies Satan always tries to use to steal, kill and destroy, or the power and promise of God’s Word to save, restore and bless us, our spouses and our marriages and our families!

The choice IS ours to make. But one very important lesson it would NOT be wise to overlook from the above passage of scripture is how God responded to and dealt with the grumbling and complaining of the Israelites and nay sayers. And when we put Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV), which says Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. (used by Joyce Meyer in her awesome TV message today), together with Luke 6:45, which says The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks., we see just how important our spoken words are and how accurately they reflect what is REALLY in our hearts. Studying how God responded to the negative attitudes and spoken words of the Israelites reveals that they literally kept them from realizing their dream of the Promised Land, and since we know that God changes not and that He is the same yesterday, today and forever, let’s hope that we all CHOOSE to follow the victorious example set for us by Joshua and Caleb, and not to follow in the footsteps of the “woe is me” victim mentality, grumbling and complaining, and fear mongering Israelites who NEVER made it out of the wilderness! But the choice IS ours to make. No one else can make it for us.

As usual, Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast messages today and tomorrow are packed with a great deal of wise and valuable counsel for all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, so be prepared to take notes as you watch What’s Been on Your Mind Lately? – Part 1 and What’s Been on Your Mind Lately? – Part 2. And as also very often happens, quite a few of the FAM Fellowship members will recognize God’s awesome confirmation of conversations we’ve had over the past couple of days on some of the very same topics; such as HOW to take every thought captive, how our thoughts lead to our emotions and actions, that through the power of the Holy Spirit we CAN exercise self control, and that we have to deny our flesh! So by carefully studying the above passages of scripture and by taking notes from Joyce’s messages, we’re bound to be blessed and encouraged as we CHOOSE to be victorious in Jesus Christ!

The FAM Fellowship is very blessed to have the continued participation of four of our members after the restoration of their marriages, because they provide so much encouragement and many awesome words of wisdom and support to all of us! And today one of them, Alex, shared the following praise report after finding little time to do so as the result of a change in her work schedule right after her marriage was restored. And there’s just no way to read Alex’s awesome testimony of what the Lord has done in her home and life without being very encouraged! And it sure seems to coincide well with today’s wonderful message from Pastor Doreen! So be blessed and encouraged! What God has done for Alex; He WILL DO FOR ALL who stand and put their faith and confidence in Him!

“First, I have to say that having the time and opportunity to spend time with God again is a blessing. And to get back to the things that God has placed in my life, this fellowship especially, is also a blessing. I’ve got the praise and worship music going and there is a wonderful song playing right now and the lyrics go “You make everything glorious….” And it is so true. My busyness at work prevented me from really giving my testimony about what God has done in my marriage.

When God restored my marriage back in April, he really got to work on every aspect of my relationship with SNO (spouse name omitted). The scripture from Zechariah 9:12 is true; “Return to your fortress O prisoners of hope, even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you.” I cherished my “old marriage”, but my husband and I both agree that the “old” can’t come close to the new. God created an intimacy and established a trust that was never there before due to the insecurities that we both brought to the marriage. I have never been so vulnerable and so happy in a relationship before, but that’s because God brought me so much healing from the pain of my past. My husband confides in me now, because God removed my nagging tongue. He knows he will find support for his ideas and obedience to his decisions and he is now the decision maker in our household; and even better, he consults God for answers! My daughter was even joking about it the other day, because she asked for a cookie and I said “no”, but SNO said “yes” at the same time. She laughed and said, “Well Mom, Dad is the head of this household so I guess we have to do what he says.” And then a family tickle fight ensued. If you had spent any time in my house prior to restoration, you never would have guessed that such things could ever happen again. And just as Haggai 2:9 says, “the glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house…and in this house I will grant peace.” Peace does reign in this house. Our home has become a safe haven, a place to find mutual comfort and support.

One of the biggest changes is in our daughter. She used to be very shy, afraid of the dark and clingy with me. Now she spends time with mommy and daddy and she is assured of our love her her and each other. She has confidence, she’s happy and she’s not afraid of the dark anymore. We’ve literally lived out Joel 2:12, which says “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” That scripture is dear to all standers and God is faithful to honor it.

SNO used to sing a song to me about being his “sunshine” and a month ago, he started singing it to me again. I went without kisses and hand holding for six years, but now, sweet affection is as natural as breathing. SNO grabs me and waltzes me across the floor. And I am not exaggerating when I say that I have laughed more in these six months than at any other point in my life. When God touches your home and your heart with His love and compassion; when restoration comes, it will overwhelm you-but in a good way. Jeremiah 33:6 says “I will bring health and healing…I will bring them back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before…they will bring Me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for them. And they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for them.” So I wanted to take this time to give God that renown and joy and praise and honor that He so deserves. And I want people to hear about the good things He does for us. As I write this, my faith is strengthened and I know that whatever job changes or financial hurdles are down the road; He will continue to give us that abundant prosperity and peace. As Romans 8:31 says; “If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Hugs, Alex”

We all know the scriptures about reaping what we sow, not being negative and speaking things that aren’t as though they are; but do we really understand them? I have been reading my devotionals this week and they have all had the same focus and have just confirmed what was already in my spirit. God is so awesome to keep doing that!

In the past, when the devil seemed to be attacking members of this fellowship from every direction, it was after some kind of “negative planting” and we all seemed to reap negative in our lives. I truly believe that God is using this Ministry to bind us together, and with encouragement and praise, we all seem to be blessed. As a wise person told me, planting the negative stuff is like putting a drop of arsenic in water and not thinking it will affect everyone who drinks it…It is only a drop; it can’t affect us all…but it does! The bitterness and unforgiveness in our hearts comes through and it stops the flow of blessings the Father wants to give us all.

We get good in our lives when we plant seeds of praise, encouragement and things that honor God. When we hold onto the bitterness or anger or any other negative emotion instead of laying it at the foot of the cross, we start speaking it out; it may not seem to be bitterness or unforgiveness to us, but that is what our hearts are saying through our words.

I know that in my walk with this ministry, I receive encouragement and when I take that and plant more encouragement, the harvest flourishes. Hosea 10:12 says Sow for yourself according to righteousness; reap according to mercy and loving-kindness. Break up your uncultivated ground, for it is time to seek the Lord, to inquire for and of Him, and to require His favor, till He comes and teaches you righteousness and rains His righteous gift of salvation upon you.

God could obviously do anything at any time He wanted to in our lives, but it seems to be His life principle that says ” First you sow, and then you reap.” So it goes to say that if you sow trouble and unforgiveness, you reap the same. Those who sow righteousness reap mercy. Sow obedience to what God tells you and once you passed the test you reap a good harvest. We have certainly witnessed a lot of this in our spouses’ lives – some if not all are reaping trouble.

2 Corinthians 9:6 says Remember this : he who sows sparingly and grudgingly will reap sparingly and grudgingly, and he who sows generously (that blessings come to someone else) will reap generously and with blessings of righteousness. Be willing to stand the test to enjoy the harvest God promises. His Word says, ” In the morning sow your seed and in the evening withhold not your hands, for you know not which shall prosper, whether this or that, or whether both alike will be good. (Ecclesiastes 11:6)

When we sow good seed, somewhere down the road of life we will reap good things. But if trials come against us, we shouldn’t try to figure out if it’s because of bad seeds we’ve sown. God says trials will come; so just know that if we obey the Word of God long enough, we will come into the good life that God has prearranged for us to live. God has a good plan; a plan for hope, prosperity and abundance.

Plant purposefully as Galatians 6:7 says; Do not be deceived and misled: God will not be mocked. For whatever a man (woman) sows , that and only that is what they will reap. So choose carefully what you sow through your words and actions and plant only what you want to reap.”For he who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:8)

Everything done and everything thought all day long is a chance to sow good seeds or bad ones. What are you sowing? These thoughts can drastically change your life or someone else’s. So start first thing in the morning, be positive, and sow only what you want to come back to you. Be encouraged and plant only good seeds. Leave the bitterness, resentment and any other negative emotion at the feet of Jesus. Do not water then. Stomp them out!! Lord, let the meditations of our hearts and the words of our mouths be acceptable to you.

I hope this helps and encourages everyone to sow GOOD, GOD things. I believe that praising, speaking positively (even when we don’t FEEL like it), and glorifying God with our actions will bring a great harvest to our lives. Even in the hardest of times, in the middle of our storms, we can plant good seeds and WAIT, and EXPECT to see a great harvest for God’s glory. Let Gods glory shine and His wonders be revealed. Let go and let God! Let go of the past, and forgive. Embrace a “nobody-owes-me-anything” attitude, and enjoy this journey with God. Let Him take you where He wants you to be at this time in your life.

In the past couple of months, FAM Fellowship members have witnessed an incredibly amazing example of God pouring out His supernatural favor in the life of one of our members, and since Amy’s testimony is so interesting and encouraging, I’ve requested and received her permission to share a little of it here, even though this is quite a departure from my usual SOF posts! But it probably won’t have the same impact just reading it now as it has had on all of us as we actually watched it all play out before our very eyes over the past few months!

Amy and SNO (spouse name omitted) first met when she was fourteen years old, but their relationship got off to a very rocky start to say the least! SNO was a new student at Amy’s school, and Amy’s mother just happened to be one of his teachers, but he didn’t know that. And just by seeing Amy as she visited her mother in the classroom, SNO developed a BIG crush on her and made the huge mistake of bragging about a totally fabricated “conquest” within earshot of her mother, even though Amy didn’t even know him! Needless to say, he was very embarrassed when Amy’s mom asked him if he had enjoyed his “weekend” with her daughter, and Amy thought he was a total jerk when she found out about it! But despite all that, they became best friends, even though they both dated other people right up until SNO stopped her as she was on the way out the door (about nine and a half years ago) to pick up her boyfriend at the airport, who was coming home on leave from military duty. Apparently SNO was afraid she was getting too serious about someone else, because he declared his love and they got married three weeks later! Amy and SNO were such close friends that they always had problems in other relationships, because their boyfriends and girlfriends would always get jealous and feel threatened by their close friendship. And looking back now; it appears they all had good reason, even though Amy and SNO didn’t think so at the time! Yet, one of Amy’s friends recently reminded her that the very first time she saw SNO, she told her friend “I’m going to marry that boy.” Of course, her friend naturally thought she was crazy at the time!

SNO developed a very successful business; they had a nice home, nice cars and three beautiful little ones, so they appeared to be living out the American dream! But Amy quite openly acknowledges now that she was a very contentious wife and didn’t know anything about honoring and respecting her husband; and there was NO way she was going to submit to him about anything! She fiercely objected to everything he wanted to do (or wanted her to do), and even fought him all the way as he became interested and involved in evangelical ministry. Needless to say, their whole world came crashing down around their ears when SNO got involved with a NCP (non-covenant person) and left about a year ago. He got caught up in a lifestyle that made it impossible for him to work, so they lost everything, and since SNO wasn’t providing any kind of support, Amy and the kids had to move in with her parents; and it’s a very small and crowded house. She went to work part time as a hairdresser, because she couldn’t afford child care and her parents worked full time, which meant she could only work when they were available to watch the kids.

The following is an excerpt from Amy’s introduction, which she posted when she joined the FAM Fellowship last February: “SNO left 7 months ago and for 10 days I did nothing but cry and feel sorry for myself until one night I cried out to the Lord. I fell to the floor and He put His arms around me telling me that He was there and to stand up. He showed me that night that He was there to help me through this and restore my marriage. Since that time I have grown stronger.” And since the time Amy became a part of our family, she has been a breath of fresh air, because she’s always been quite spunky, steadfastly focused on God’s power and promise and determined to find the praise in EVERYTHING! In all honesty, I think she often amazes us all with the way she manages to find praise for the Lord in things that certainly don’t appear to be all that praise worthy! But Amy has ALWAYS managed to find and proclaimed the praise and to see God in everything, no matter how bad or discouraging it might appear. And she has always been very adamant that the devil wasn’t going to get his way or going to trick her into buying any of his lies! Needless to say, Amy has provided all of us a great deal of amusement and entertainment; not to mention an abundance of joy and encouragement as we’ve watched her grow in her walk and relationship with the Lord. And we’re now blessed to see how the Lord has in turn supernaturally blessed and rewarded her steadfast faithfulness and obedience.

Amy’s part time job barely enabled her to keep up with her bills and there’s no way she could have managed without her parents. But the house has been very overcrowded and there has been a great deal of tension in the home, especially since her parents don’t approve of her stand for marriage restoration and were upset that she refused to pursue child support from her husband. Of course, their lives had been turned upside-down as well, so that’s really understandable since they love their daughter and none of us like to see someone we love hurt or mistreated.

As the tension continued to mount, Amy became even more determined than ever to find a place of her own, but there was no way she could afford it…or so it seemed! At one point, she had saved money to move, but SNO had access to the bank account and without her knowledge, spent that money too. But Amy didn’t let that discourage her or deter her determination to get a home for her family! And somewhere along the way, SNO and the NCP started having serious problems. She had been working and basically supporting them, but she lost her job and then continued to lose one job after another after that. And even when SNO would get a job, it never lasted more than a day or so. Yet Amy remained confident that he would get a job and help pay for her to move!

Then about two months ago, she found out about a subsidized housing apartment complex, so she went to look at the apartments and put in an application, even though there really wasn’t any hope in this world that she could qualify, especially since she had been turned down four months earlier at another apartment complex, because of a bad credit report. AS Amy does just about everywhere she goes, she ended up talking to the apartment manager about her faith in God for the restoration of her marriage, and as a result struck up quite a friendship with the manager, who even said she wants to come to Amy’s Home Group meetings, which she’ll host after she gets moved! She was told at that time that it would probably take at least six months for an apartment to come available, because she was second on the list and three bedroom apartments didn’t come up very often. But just three days later, they called to tell her an apartment had opened up, and that if the other lady didn’t want it or didn’t qualify, she would get it! Well, to my way of thinking, it was a good thing there was someone else ahead of her, because there just wasn’t any way she could afford to move, much less pay the rent! But to everyone’s amazement, another apartment opened up just two days later and the approval process began in earnest! The first shock was when her credit report came back and they said it was fine, but they needed a little more information, which Amy was able to obtain, though challenging. She had to provide references from two additional creditors and she could only think of one, which was her storage unit. But when she told her dad, he reminded her that she had purchased some things from his storage business in another state a few years earlier and that she had paid on that over a period of time so they could give her a letter to that effect. Then they wanted copies of her bank statements, which I thought would present a real problem, because there wasn’t much money going through there, and there certainly wasn’t enough there to pay her deposits and first month’s rent; but that passed somehow too! They verified her employment and income and then said all they needed was a notarized statement from SNO stating that he would be giving her x number of dollars a month. Well, that was all well and good, but it certainly wasn’t worth much since he hadn’t been giving her a penny for about a year; and had in fact been taking money from her every week for gas money “so he could work!” But they accepted that and finally submitted her application for final approval, only to have it come back ONE POINT UNDER THE MINIMUM SCORE required for approval! But the apartment manager went to bat for Amy and convinced the home office to approve her anyway!! Then the woman who was supposed to vacate “Amy’s apartment” had to stay two weeks longer, because the closing on her new house was delayed, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief! I just knew the Lord was giving Amy more time for SOMETHING to happen! And it did!

Amy got a call from someone she knows who works at a daycare center and she told her she didn’t know if she would consider it or not, but there was a job opening there and they were ready to hire right away! To make a long story short, which includes much more amazing evidence of God’s supernatural favor on Amy’s behalf; she got the job! And ONLY God could have worked out all of the details as He has. The daycare center is just five minutes away from her daughter’s school and just two driveways away from her new apartment! And child care is not an issue with this job, because her kids get to go and she pays half price for the two youngest ones and nothing for the after school care for her oldest. And when the child care vouchers she has applied for come through, she won’t have to pay anything for child care and she’ll make enough money at that point to manage her apartment and bills entirely on her own! Then Amy was concerned about her young daughter having to ride the bus to the daycare center after school, but it turned out that the bus doesn’t go there. But that ended up being a blessing too, because one of her friend’s daughter goes to the same school, so she’s going to pick Amy’s daughter up and bring her to the daycare center each day! And since the school is so close to where she works, she has time to drop her daughter off in the morning before going to work. And she only works four days a week, which means she gets a day off each week and her kids can be in daycare, so she will have that time to do what she needs or wants to without worrying about the kids!

But Amy still needed a considerable amount of money to move and she wasn’t going to get that from her new job and SNO still wasn’t working more than a rare day or so here and there. And things on the home front got even more unpleasant when Amy’s mother said SNO could no longer come to their house and that if he wanted to see his kids, they would have to make other arrangements. And one night soon after that (about two weeks ago), Amy says she was just “hormonal”, and SNO was being rather unpleasant; complaining that he didn’t have many choices and actually accused her of just thinking of herself (rather outrageous under the circumstances!) so she lost it, which she RARELY does! And even though she felt bad about it later, it proved to be a very good thing indeed (Romans 8:28 once again saved the day); because she ended up telling him about all the things in her life that SHE didn’t have any choices about! Well, something she said must have gotten through to him, because he called her the next day and told her about some changes he intended to make; including that he had called someone he knew and had a job lined up and that he WOULD have the money she needed to move! And he’s managed to stick this one out and even took another part time job. He told her he would have the money she needed to move and he did, even though she only got it the day before she had to have it, which was this past Tuesday! And he gave her his entire paycheck to do that! And even though she doesn’t believe he was aware of it (he had left the money at home over the weekend), the amount he gave her was considerably short of what he had promised, but it was still just enough for what she HAD to have! And she’ll get her first paycheck today; the day before she moves, which will give her the gas money she will need until her next paycheck! So God has certainly been pouring out His favor on her! And Amy and her kids will be moving into a spacious, beautiful three bedroom, two bath home of their own tomorrow (and it’s bigger than the house they’re in now with three other adults), even though it shouldn’t even be possible! As someone who used to work in apartment management; I can assure you that this whole thing really defies belief! There’s no way they could verify that she could afford this apartment, because she COULDN’T when she started this process, and she had absolutely NO REASON TO BELIEVE SHE WOULD EVEN HAVE THE MONEY FOR THE DEPOSITS AND RENT (or to pay the rent once she moved)! But Amy’s unshakeable faith in God and His power and promise told her otherwise and she NEVER wavered; no matter what obstacles kept popping up!

In the meanwhile, a little over a week ago, the people that were supposed to move out of the first apartment that came available after Amy was added to the list decided not to move after all! So the lady that was supposed to get that apartment thought she would get “Amy’s apartment” instead and that Amy would have to go back on the list, and it sort of seems like it should have been that way. But the apartment manager told her they had already given the apartment to someone else and she would just go back on the top of the list! Well, she didn’t like that very much and complained about it to the district manager and as incredible as it is to believe, she back the manager and told the woman the same thing! Now that’s got to be proof of God’s favor and hand at work! And this past Sunday, SNO and the NCP got a seven day eviction notice (and that’s after a court hearing earlier this month), so they have to be out this weekend…the SAME weekend Amy is moving! And since SNO gave Amy all of his paycheck for last week, it’s hard to imagine how they’re going to be able to move. Even if they come up with the money, they both have bad credit reports now, terrible employment histories, far from a good reference from the previous landlord, and none of SNO’s family or friends will let him stay with them as long as the NCP is with him, and her family lives in another state. So it looks like God is definitely turning up the heat on SNO and it’s really hard to believe his wife and children will be alone in their new home for very long, especially since SNO is very concerned that Amy will be interested in dating now that she’s out on her own!!! Of course, she has told him that the ONLY man she will ever date is him!

There are a LOT more details in Amy’s amazing testimony that I just don’t have room to share here. But as I’ve watched it all play out over the past days, and witnessed some other amazing examples of God’s favor in the lives of other FAM Fellowship members (including mine); I started contemplating God’s favor more and was very eager to do a topical study about it. And I was quite surprised to find how many references the Bible has to the disaster that came upon people who had not ASKED or SOUGHT God’s favor! And then, of course, it was interesting to see what we experience as a result of God’s favor too and how he CAUSES us to have favor with others. So my study has made me much more aware of our need to ask for and to expect to receive God’s favor in our lives, and the following passages of scripture are just a few to help us all better understand and appreciate the incredible blessings of God’s favor. So read them and study them, and be blessed an encouraged, because as I once heard someone say, it looks like having God’s favor is just like being “under the glory spout, where the glory comes out!” And I love how often God’s favor is discussed in terms of restoration, deliverance and salvation!

Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

2 Kings 13:4
Then Jehoahaz sought the LORD’s favor, and the LORD listened to him, for he saw how severely the king of Aram was oppressing Israel.

Isaiah 49:8
This is what the LORD says: “In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances,

2 Chronicles 33:11-13
So the LORD brought against them the army commanders of the king of Assyria, who took Manasseh prisoner, put a hook in his nose, bound him with bronze shackles and took him to Babylon. In his distress he sought the favor of the LORD his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. And when he prayed to him, the LORD was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the LORD is God.

Luke 1:25
“The Lord has done this for me,” she said. “In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people.”

Job 33:26
He prays to God and finds favor with him, he sees God’s face and shouts for joy; he is restored by God to his righteous state.

Psalm 5:12
For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

Psalm 69:13
But I pray to you, O LORD, in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation.

Psalm 84:11
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

Psalm 90:17
May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.

Ecclesiastes 9:7
Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.

Luke 1:28
The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

Nehemiah 1:11
O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” I was cupbearer to the king.

Genesis 39:20-22
Joseph’s master took him and put him in prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined. But while Joseph was there in the prison, the LORD was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there.

Daniel 1:9
Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel,

Exodus 11:3
(The LORD made the Egyptians favorably disposed toward the people, and Moses himself was highly regarded in Egypt by Pharaoh’s officials and by the people.)

Exodus 12:36
The LORD had made the Egyptians favorably disposed toward the people, and they gave them what they asked for; so they plundered the Egyptians.

Deuteronomy 33:23
About Naphtali he said: “Naphtali is abounding with the favor of the LORD and is full of his blessing; he will inherit southward to the lake.”

Luke 1:30
But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.

2 Corinthians 6:2
For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.

Daniel 9:13
Just as it is written in the Law of Moses, all this disaster has come upon us, yet we have not sought the favor of the LORD our God by turning from our sins and giving attention to your truth.

Lamentations 4:16
The LORD himself has scattered them; he no longer watches over them. The priests are shown no honor, the elders no favor.

Ezekiel 5:11
Therefore as surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, because you have defiled my sanctuary with all your vile images and detestable practices, I myself will withdraw my favor; I will not look on you with pity or spare you.

The topic of the doctrine of free will has resurfaced quite a bit in conversations over the past few days, so I thought it might be a good idea to revisit it for those who are standing for marriage restoration and still have questions about it.

Sadly, I couldn’t even begin to count the times men and women have told me that their pastors have quite forcefully counseled them that their spouses have free will and that God will never force them to do anything they don’t want to do; thereby encouraging them to abandon their marriage vows and “get on” with their lives. I honestly don’t mean any disrespect to those who teach or believe that, but I can’t help wondering how much Bible study they’ve done, because I simply don’t see how anyone who has read the Bible can possibly reach that conclusion. Yet many respected Christian leaders apparently do. But to believe that, we also HAVE to believe that God needs OUR permission or approval BEFORE He can do anything in our lives! And that’s just outrageously preposterous on its very face!

But it makes a whole lot more sense when we consider the obvious origin and goal of such a doctrine. And Satan’s fingerprints are very clearly all over this one; because by his very nature, he is anti-Christ, as is ANYTHING that attempts to exalt its knowledge, power and authority over the knowledge, power and authority of God, which is exactly what the doctrine of free will attempts to do.

One verse that simply defies the belief that it is man who determines what God does or doesn’t do is Isaiah 46:11, which says From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do. And then there’s Proverbs 21:30, which simply says There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. Then Ephesians 3:4-6 says For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. And I just don’t know how it could be any clearer than Ephesians 1:11-12, which says In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And there’s certainly a problem with how the doctrine of free will squares with Romans 8:29:31, which says For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

As stated earlier, this is not the first time the doctrine of free will has surfaced, so here’s a link to a Seeds Of Faith post I wrote about it over a year ago, when the FAM Fellowship was for women only, titled The False Doctrine Of Free Will.

And in response to recent conversation on this topic, one of the FAM Fellowship members sent me the following article, There Are Only Two Religions in the World!, written by John Reisinger. It’s a wonderful article and really goes into great detail about the choice we all have to make concerning whether we believe in the free will of man or the grace of God, because it’s not possible to truly believe both! And this is an article I strongly encourage anyone standing for marriage restoration to read, even though it’s quite long.

The reason it is SO important to have a Bible based understanding and grasp concerning the fact that God and God alone determines the steps and directions of our lives and that God does in fact have the ability and desire to change the hearts of our prodigal spouses, is so we have the faith and confidence we need to pray with conviction and great expectation that the Lord will change our spouses hearts and turn them back home and to Him. In fact, after reading the above article, I concluded that we all need to rededicate ourselves to simply praying that God will turn our husbands’ and wives’ hearts and minds back to us and that he will turn their hearts and minds away from NCPs and NCPs’ hearts and minds away from them. And since there’s no dispute or doubt that God hates both divorce and adultery, we know that when we pray for that, we are praying in accordance with the will of God and we can count on Him exercising His supernatural power to bring about answers to those prayers by doing exactly what we have asked Him to do, and He will do it all for the glory of His beloved Son, Jesus Christ. And when we really and truly understand that, we will certainly be blessed and encouraged as we stand in faith and obedience WITH God for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families!

The TV broadcast message from Dr. Charles Stanley this past Sunday was truly awesome and one I strongly recommend for everyone standing for marriage restoration. Dr. Stanley’s sermon outline and the message, The Landmine of Sexual Sin, can be accessed online at the above link, and it provides great insight to the nature and extremely powerful hold of sexual sin, as well as its inevitable consequences. It’s a great study of how God views sexual sin and how easily anyone can be drawn into it, so it will help provide insight and much better understanding for anyone with a spouse now caught up in adultery. And being so faithful, as God always is, the last part of the broadcasts is a perfect “follow up” and confirmation of Friday’s SOF post and chat, because it’s about how God uses difficult times in our lives to test us. As usual, Dr. Stanley gives very wise counsel about how to respond to such times in our lives and the danger of not responding with the appropriate attitude. So don’t miss this message, because I’m sure everyone watching it will be blessed and encouraged!

It’s always so exciting when the Lord brings new insight and understanding concerning His Word, as He’s done very significantly in the past few days through conversations with FAM Fellowship members facing the normal challenges or trials of marriage restoration. And one of the most significant things the Lord has revealed is the REAL and UNDENIABLE differences between those who walk the talk and those who don’t. There’s such an extreme contrast in the heart attitudes, reactions and consequences of those who have heard the Word and DO what it teaches versus those who have also heard it and fail to put it into practice. So the past few days have provided very powerful and amazing confirmation of what Jesus taught about the consequences of obedience and disobedience by comparing it to the different results attained by wise and foolish builders, in Luke 6:46-49, which says:
“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”

Anyone to whom the Lord gives a burden for ministry of any kind is burdened with an overwhelming desire to help others understand the message of the cross and that Jesus Christ came to give us abundant life in the form of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, of which Romans 14:17 says For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, So we continually strive to find more effective ways to help others understand how to achieve the victory that comes when we truly learn to put all of our faith and confidence in Jesus Christ and the power and promise of His Word. So as I was pondering the striking differences I’ve recently seen in how some of the fellowship members have reacted to the INEVITABLE challenging or disappointing circumstances we all face as we stand for the restoration of our marriages; I couldn’t help trying to better understand the differences to learn how to more effectively overcome our inability to CONSISTENTLY walk the talk; meaning to consistently DO what we know the Bible teaches and instructs us to do.

And one thing the above passage of scripture makes pretty clear is that “torrents” of one kind or another ARE GOING TO COME against ALL of us as we stand against the world and the gates of hell for the restoration of our marriages and families. So the ONLY difference is how we react and respond when the “torrents” come. According to www.Dictionary.com, the definition of “torrent” is:
“1. a stream of water flowing with great rapidity and violence.
2. a rushing, violent, or abundant and unceasing stream of anything: a torrent of lava.
3. a violent downpour of rain.
4. a violent, tumultuous, or overwhelming flow: a torrent of abuse.”

So maybe part of the problem we have in walking the talk when the torrents come is that we don’t realize and understand that we ARE going to encounter challenges and disappointments as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and that we need to be prepared for them when they come. AND it’s very important to understand that the attacks we experience are NOT always from the devil as we tend to believe, because it is God who WILL “test” our hearts and faith, as the following passages of scripture make very clear:

Deuteronomy 8:2 – Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.

Deuteronomy 13:3-4 – you must not listen to the words of that prophet or dreamer. The LORD your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.

Psalm 17:3 – Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin.

Psalm 26:1-3 – Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have led a blameless life; I have trusted in the LORD without wavering. Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth.

1 Thessalonians 2:4 – On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts.

Hebrews 3:7-10 – Warning Against Unbelief
So, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the desert, where your fathers tested and tried me and for forty years saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation, and I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.’

James 1:2-8 – Trials and Temptations
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Perhaps realizing and understanding that God WILL test our hearts and faith helps, but even that won’t make a real difference until or unless we BELIEVE God and KNOW we CAN take Him at His Word. As 1 John 5:10 says, Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. And that’s the message we give to both God and man when we are unable to walk the talk, because IF we REALLY believe everything we say we do, there will be tangible evidence of it in our lives; most particularly in how we handle the inevitable challenges and disappointments encountered as we stand in faith and obedience on the power and promise of God’s Word for the restoration of our marriages and families. And what better example of that do we have than that of Abraham when God asked him to put his son, the very means by which God had promised to bless him, on the alter, of which Hebrews 11:17-18 says By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” And perhaps that’s the best illustration of the difficulty we have in understanding what God means when He calls us to “stand” for the restoration of our marriages; while at the same time telling us to let our spouses depart if they want to leave! So in effect, God is asking us to put our spouses and marriages on the alter and to follow Abraham’s example by trusting HIM to save them! Yet, the problem we have when those inevitable “torrents” come against us, is that we believe they have the power to destroy our hopes and dreams of restored marriages, instead of recognizing and welcoming them as opportunities to demonstrate our unyielding faith and confidence in God Almighty and the power and promise of His Word, as well as His ability and faithfulness to bring it to pass!

But no matter what clever words and ways we might come up with about how to best walk the talk and CONSISTENTLY stand on the power and promise of God’s Word; the best answer is still (as always) found in His Word, and just happens to be very appropriate for us as we stand against the world and the forces of hell for the deliverance of our spouses and the restoration of our marriages. Because the ONLY way to “walk the talk” is to CONSISTENTLY put on the WHOLE armor of God as instructed in Ephesians 6:10-18, which says:
The Armor of God
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
So the only way to walk the talk is to consistently walk in truth, righteousness, and peace; relying on faith, salvation, God’s Word and continuous prayer. And the reason we have to CONSISTENTLY walk the talk is because just as soon as we don’t, we can be certain that the devil will take full advantage of ANY opportunity he’s given to steal, kill and destroy; just as 1 Peter 5:8 (AMP) warns; Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour.

So the next time one of those inevitable torrents comes against us, instead of giving way to fear and doubt, let’s put on the full armor of God, and thank Him for giving us an opportunity to pass the test by walking the talk! And by putting God’s Word into practice, we will withstand EVERY torrent that comes against us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families, and we WILL BE blessed and encouraged beyond belief!

As God NEVER ceases to do; He managed to totally amaze me again this morning with the perfect timing of Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message today, A Merciful and Forgiving Attitude! Just as incredible as I know this will be to at least four of the FAM Fellowship members I talked to yesterday (and then even more today!), I hope they will be equally blessed just to know that God cares and is so intimately involved in their lives that He timed a message like this to perfectly confirm and reinforce the very same things we talked about yesterday! It’s also a perfect follow up to a recent FAM Chat, in which the concept of forgetting being a requirement for forgiveness was difficult for some to fully grasp and understand. But it’s a wonderful message for ALL of us, and something we can’t ever hear too much about, because the need to forgive and give mercy will ALWAYS be an integral part of our lives as Christians; most especially as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and even after marriage restoration, if not even more so.

While it is not all that unusual to hear messages or talk about forgiveness, listening to Joyce’s message this morning, I realized that one thing we OFTEN overlook is mercy, because true forgiveness is not possible without mercy. And Joyce really makes the point that it’s not possible for us to GIVE mercy unless we first RECEIVE God’s mercy ourselves! And one of the greatest (and usually first) challenges when someone new comes to the ministry is getting them to stop focusing so much on the sin and wrong doing of their spouses long enough to recognize their own. But then that sometimes causes people to feel such a great sense of condemnation and responsibility for the damage THEY have done to their marriage that they have to learn to accept God’s mercy and forgiveness for themselves, which is often not as easy or simple as it may seem.

Several times over the past few days, the Lord has brought Luke 7:47 to my mind, but I couldn’t quite figure out why, and now it makes a lot more sense. I was more focused on the correlation between forgiveness and love, or the lack thereof, which is still very important for all of us to understand, but the point I think the Lord wanted me to focus on is the mercy given and received in the story portrayed in Luke 7:44-47, which says:
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”
As this story so powerfully illustrates, something truly significant takes place and a very strong bond of love is formed through the act of giving and receiving mercy, and many of the restored marriage testimonies we love bear that out as well. So it’s important to understand mercy in terms of forgiveness and giving our spouses a clean slate, just as God gives us.

And since the Bible tells us to have mercy on others as God has mercy on us, the following verses are very helpful in terms of learning to understand mercy from His perspective:

Micah 7:18
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.

Psalm 51:1
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

Hosea 6:6
For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Matthew 5:7
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Matthew 9:13
But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Romans 11:30-32
Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy as a result of their disobedience, so they too have now become disobedient in order that they too may now receive mercy as a result of God’s mercy to you. For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.

James 2:12-13
Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

James 3:16-18
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

2 John 1:2-3
because of the truth, which lives in us and will be with us forever: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth and love.

Joyce’s “talk show” format programs are not usually my favorites, because I enjoy her preaching so much, but tomorrow’s program, The Freedom of Forgiving, has a lot of great information to, so I encourage everyone to watch that as well. These are very important messages for all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families; striving to be more Christ-like, which by the very nature of our Lord and Savior must include the ability to give and receive mercy and forgiveness. So listen to them and be blessed and encouraged!

While there’s little that compares with the level of excitement we all have when we see a marriage restored in our midst; when a spouse returns home or decides to make a commitment to working on a marriage they were previously determined to abandon; there’s really no greater joy for me personally than the opportunity I’m blessed with to see the lives of men and women totally transformed through the power of the Holy Spirit. And it is not by coincidence that these are also the same people who have already experienced the restoration of their marriages or who are now seeing the Lord working in their circumstances beyond anything they ever imagined when they first embarked on the tumultuous journey of standing for marriage restoration.

As often seems to happen, a recurring and very important theme in the ministry lately has been the absolute necessity of relying on the power of the Holy Spirit, instead of striving in our own strength and ability or relying on our own understanding. In fact, that was perfectly expressed in a response from Melissa in Michigan to yesterday’s SOF post as follows:
“Those were such great testimonies and confirm what are pastor read to us this Sunday from Psalm 46:10; Be still and know that I am God. or in another translation; Cease striving and know that I am God. Every time I begin looking at my circumstances, which appear hopeless, I quote this verse and see that God is bigger than my circumstances and way more powerful than Satan. If God is on my side, I already know we have won the battle and now I just need to be patient and wait for God’s perfect timing, which isn’t one minute late or early. Praise the Lord!!”

But the recurring question is HOW we get to that place of being able to TRULY AND CONSISTENTLY trust in God with absolute confidence that He IS IN CONTROL and that HE WILL RESTORE OUR MARRIAGES. And there is only one answer to that (and all questions for us as Christians), and that’s getting SERIOUS about reading and studying the Word of God so that we really enter into an intimate relationship with God Almighty and are able to allow the power of the Holy Spirit to transform us so we can walk in the power and promise of God’s Word. And NONE of that is even remotely possible without KNOWING and UNDERSTANDING the nature and character of God and His INFINITE and NEVER CHANGING love, power and faithfulness. So, if we don’t KNOW the Word of God and truly understand His nature, character and ways, what hope do we have of ever recognizing thoughts, attitudes, opinions and teachings as arguments and pretensions that set themselves up against the knowledge of God? And how will we be able to make such thoughts obedient to Christ and the Word if we don’t know and understand what the Word says? And we know how important being able to do that is based on 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, which says For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. That also confirms one of my favorite sayings, which is that we can’t get God’s results without DOING things God’s way, and that when we do things the world’s way, we WILL get the world’s results. And the ONLY thing that separates us from the world is our ability to live by the Word of God through the power of the Holy Spirit.

So it’s very exciting to see the transformation that takes place when the FAM Fellowship members start SERIOUSLY studying God’s Word and get so excited about what the Lord is showing them that they want to share it with others. And pretty much without exception, the ones doing that are the same ones who now have their marriages restored and/or those who are now seeing the Lord moving in their circumstances so powerfully. In fact, most of our members with restored marriages are still quite active in the ministry, and the Lord just continues blessing them and making their marriages better with every passing day! But I don’t often have such a powerful written illustration of just how the Lord does this in our lives as the one I’ve graciously been given permission to share today. The excerpts from the following Heart To Heart post and Prayer Request below were written by one of our members almost six months ago, which he titled “Dazed and Confused but Love the Lord.” But in the intervening time, he has really been digging into the Word of God and we have all seen him transformed before our very eyes, and now he’s a great source of encouragement and inspiration to all of us. So even though the first post below is not all that encouraging or uplifting; it’s necessary to demonstrate what a difference it makes in our hearts, minds, spirits and lives when we get serious about God’s Word and allow it to change and transform us through the power of the Holy spirit, as so clearly apparent by the last Heart To Heart post below, which was shared by the same member just a few days ago! And we should never forget the very important warning found in Matthew 13:12, as stated below, and we would all be very wise to pray just as he does, because that humble prayer is bound to touch the heart of God! So it is my sincerest hope and prayer that we’ll all continue to be transformed through the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us, because there’s no better way to be blessed and encouraged!

Okay, I have struggled today, because my son left after a wonderful week and I praise God for his visit; God’s timing was good!) SNO once again made it clear that she will meet with her attorney in a few days, so the end is near. I shared the news with our friends this morning, but I told them that I was still praying that she would change her mind. He said that it doesn’t look like that is going to happen. Of course the first thing that pops into my mind, because I have programmed it that way, is that Saul didn’t look like he was headed to Jesus either until God knocked him on his butt, and the hard road bounced him. But the second thing that popped into my mind was “Yeah, you are probably right.” That was not programmed by God, but Satan has power too. I know we have to stay in God’s Word, so I am asking that you all pray for me to stay focused on Him and not the situation or circumstances, because right now that seems hopeless. I have prayed fervently today for God to reveal any thing in me that is preventing my marriage from being restored. And I have gone from His mercy to his wrath; and from I am not deserving to He has washed me clean. He knows I am trying my best; He knows I love Him more than anyone; He knows I have studied His Word until I turn blue. And I have changed prayers for specific stuff to “Here she is, Lord. I know Your will is going to be done without my suggestions on how to do it.” Then…”God, maybe You have someone for SNO who is better for her than I.” I know she did not receive the best of me that I have to offer, and I think maybe this is my consequence for not being the husband God intended me to be. Then I heard David Jeremiah say this morning that he sometimes hears people say that just maybe they married the wrong person. He says he always gives the same response; if you are married, you are married to the right person! I know SNO was meant to be my wife and I know that she is still meant to be my wife.

Linda, I know there are things I need to hear; the truth. And I know the truth and I know how I should feel and think. I know the faith that I should have; unfailing and unwavering. I know all that and I would be the first to tell the rest of you that too. So, why can’t I wait patiently and joyfully for God to do what I know He is going to do?

God knows my heart; He knows that I didn’t want the NCP to get hit by a truck when I prayed that and I know it wasn’t in His will. God knows that I want my marriage restored; and not just any wife; not just any relationship; not just any intimacy – I want my wife. Regardless of what I slip and say, does He ignore my heart and say “Well, you don’t care enough or you wouldn’t have any doubt.” Paul said he did what he didn’t want to do, and I feel like that – I try to do what I know is pure and righteous, but I do what I don’t want to do and feel how I don’t want to feel. That was from Friday night’s chat and something that was said that still bothers me.

I guess that is all for now. Just please keep me lifted in prayer. I need strength to keep Satan in his place and to be filled with the Holy Spirit, because I know stronger attacks are headed my way this week. Also, pray for SNO. I’m sure the Holy Spirit is working in her. But just when I am so fulfilled, I seem to lapse back into the flesh.

Okay, because I am one who bounces from one thought to another, because there are one hundred million of them going through my mind at any one given time; some of this didn’t make any sense. So please try to pick out what you can and pray however you think I need to be prayed for! You guys are great and just a HUGE blessing and important part of my life right now. I have never been blessed by such sincere, loving individuals. Have a great week and know that I am praying my heart out for you and your spouses.

We know from God’s Word that He is with us; the Holy Spirit is within us because we believe in Jesus Christ. After Jesus was crucified and ascended to Heaven, the Holy Spirit was sent to dwell in each of us who believe in Jesus. So we must always remember that God did not send Jesus to die for us and then leave us orphaned. The Holy Spirit can fill every aspect of our lives to the fullest, and He comforts and guides us. That means we should always have the hope and courage to live our lives here on earth; knowing the wonderful and eternal future that is waiting for us some day.

John 14:16-18, 26 (NLT)
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you. But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.

Ephesians 3:14-20 (NLT)
When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

We have all been spoken to in some way to stand for the restoration of our marriages. Some of us have had scriptures speak to us; dreams that came to us in our sleep; visions at particular times; and maybe God has even spoken directly to us. But as we continue in our daily walk, true wisdom and discernment requires us as believers, to let the Holy Spirit be our guide and not lean on our own understanding. Then spiritual discernment will enable us to draw conclusions based on God’s perspective, make wise decisions in difficult circumstances, recognize the activities of God’s spirit and distinguish the truth in scripture (the correct or incorrect use of His Word).

As the Holy Spirit speaks to us; guiding us through visions, dreams, prophecies, angels, trances, etc; we must always turn to the Word to verify that it aligns with God’s directions. And we must not harden our hearts with unbelief, because we have to receive God’s Word by faith and then trust and obey what God, through the Holy Spirit, directs us to do. We must not waver in our obedient faith. (Acts 5:19-20; 7:55-56; 8:29; 10:9-13; 11:9; 21:10-11)

As we listen and respond in obedience to His Word, God will give us more and more understanding. As a direct result of my letting everything go to God; I do believe He is taking me to the next level in our relationship. I can tell you that I praise Him and I am so excited to be where I am today!

Hebrews 4:7 (NLT)
So God set another time for entering his rest, and that time is today. God announced this through David much later in the words already quoted:
“Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts.”

Matthew 13:12 (NLT)
To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.

In the past several weeks, the Holy Spirit has spoken to me in unbelievable ways. Never before in my life have I felt so close in my relationship with God. He wakes me during the night and gives me encouragement through the Word. I have never been one to just open my Bible and let God speak to me from wherever it falls open! Actually, I always thought those people were a little weird. But three times in the last ten days, I have been awakened, certainly not at all enthusiastically, and opened my Bible to read scripture – where ever it fell open to. And it has been incredible how each time the message was right on target with what I was feeling or fit right in to the circumstances of that particular day. I mean truly amazing! I always believed in His supernatural ability, but this is mind blowing for me. Consequently, I have had the peace and joy I’ve seen in others, which I have so coveted in the past. God is in control, folks, and there is absolutely nothing that we can do to change that; nor should we ever want to; His ways are far superior to ours! God is going to keep His promise in all of our situations, so I encourage us all to stand firm in our stands for God and our marriages. In Him we have victory every single day.

Father God, I thank You for your unfailing love and the unlimited faithfulness You have shown me. Lord, I thank You for the most powerful and supernatural way that You have worked in my life to change me into the person that You want me to be and that my spouse will desire. God, You are truly awesome and all I want to do is please You and worship You with all my heart, soul, and mind. Use me to shine Your light and encourage others as we go through the struggles of life. Continue, Lord, to teach me Your ways; guide and direct me. Amen

One of the MOST important things for anyone standing for marriage restoration to learn is that we REALLY CAN and MUS rely totally and completely on God! I know ALL of us have our own horror stories of the times we tried to manage, control or manipulate our spouses or circumstances in some way to change our marital situations, and the disastrous results and consequences! So it really does my heart good to see testimonies and praise reports like the two below, which were posted on the ladies’ private FAM Fellowship website just last night and this morning! And the key to seeing God work so magnificently in our lives as these ladies have, is found in Matthew 6:32-34, which says For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

And these praise reports and testimonies certainly confirm the following two passages of scripture as well, which are also two of our favorites:

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Psalm 37:4-6
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

And for the ladies standing for marriage restoration, these ladies have most certainly learned to put 1 Peter 3:1-6 (instruction to wives for winning their husbands’ over when they are being disobedient to the Word) and the Lord has continuously amazed us with their testimonies and praise reports as a result of their willingness and reliance on God to follow HIS instructions for the restoration of their marriages! And they NEVER fail to praise the Lord and give Him glory for EVERYTHING, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem, and they are now experts when it comes to “looking for God in EVERYTHING!” So read the following praise reports from these ladies and be blessed and encouraged! And for visitors to the site who don’t know; NCP means Non-Covenant Person/Partner and SNO means Spouse Name Omitted.

I have quite a few praises, so I hope I will remember everything!

First, I praise God that He has moved in my finances in such an unimaginable way! I ended up needing quite a bit to get started with this new job and between the ministry and selling my baby crib, everything I needed was provided! Then I tried to pay back my mom the money I owed her and she refused to take it! And that left me with the money I needed to pay my credit card bills, and enough money to make it through another week with gas money!

Then today I made all the phone calls to find out exactly what I would need to move into the apartment, and it ended up being a bit more than I expected, but as usual God provided through the generosity of others! God put it on someone’s heart to send me everything I need above what SNO is going to provide, which leads me to my next praise.

SNO has been working over a week, and he even worked an entire day in the rain! I have not received any money from him to date but I am completely confident that it will be provided from God and through SNO. He has said over and over now that I will receive the money I need by Friday.

I also want to praise God on SNO’s behalf. He called me today and was talking about needing money for gas, and I told him that I would pray that he would come across what he needed. And within minutes of me saying that, as he was walking up the NCP’s front steps, he looked down, and there was a fifty dollar bill under the steps! He knew it wasn’t his, but he sure was very excited. When I talked to him later; it did not end up belonging to the NCP and I commented on how crazy it was that he found that at that very moment. Oh I love God!

My final praise is so big. I called the apartments today to make sure that the lady had moved out. Well, she is not completely out, but they said she will be out by tonight. Then the manager told me that they almost had a mess on their hands. Remember back when I originally got on the waiting list, there was a woman ahead of me on the list for a three bedroom apartment? An apartment opened up for her and then within days another opened for me, which was apparently unheard of happening so quickly. Well, the first lady was due to move into her apartment recently, but shortly beforehand, the people in the first “vacant” apartment decided not to move! But the lady had heard that there was indeed a second three bedroom that had opened up; MY three bedroom! So she assumed that I would be put back on the waiting list and that she would get that apartment. Honestly, I would have assumed the same thing, because it would seem fair to me. Instead the manager at the apartments told her that she had to go back on the waiting list, because she had already given that apartment to someone else; and she told me that she just had a strong feeling that this apartment was meant for me! Obviously, that did not make the other woman too happy, so she went to the district manager about it. But the apartment manager stood her ground, and she called the district manager and shared my story with her. Now the district manager is on board, and she told the other woman that they apologize, but that the other apartment was spoken for and that they would be happy to place her back at the top of the waiting list! LOL, I can see everyone’s jaw on the floor as you are reading this! This is all God, people! This apartment should not be mine. I did not have the credit (shouldn’t have had a good report!), didn’t meet the income requirements, still don’t have the money, and now I am being chosen over this other woman! This has God’s hand all over it! A friend of mine told me today that this apartment must have had my name on it when it was built!

God has been so good and so faithful! I go on Monday or Tuesday of next week to sign the lease where I will be given my very own house keys! And we move in on the 29th, which is the following Saturday!! He has done so much for me in so many areas in the past few weeks; more than I could have ever imagined! I praise you, God!

I have continued to pray for SNO, of course, but I find it funny that since God started to move mightily in my circumstances, I have neither seen nor heard from SNO much at all. Now that is not to say God is not working on that end, because I know He is! But it has gotten extremely quiet over there on that side. I can’t wait to see what it is that He has been doing with SNO this entire time. If He has done all this for me, He must be moving powerfully in SNO’s life as well! Go God!

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” Proverbs 16:9

For those of you who aren’t sure about Proverbs 16:9 or haven’t seen evidence of this, I have really seen evidence of it in my life over the last week. One is big and the other may be superficial to some, but it is sort of a big deal to me. This is longer than I thought it would be, but it’s funny and I had to be detailed.

The first thing is that I have been staying at my house off and on for about 3 weeks now, and I have not completely moved yet. I don’t really know why except that SNO hasn’t asked me to. All he has done is suggest that I stay at my house a few times so I can “get used to it.” Basically, he’s suggested I stay about 3 nights a week and that we would “play it by ear.” He still feels the same way I do about how bad it would be for me to just up and leave without telling our neighbors what is going on with us (remember, he doesn’t want to divulge our divorce). They aren’t just our neighbors; they are very good friends, and we do a lot with them. Also, what SNO doesn’t know, is that God spoke to me months ago about our friends, because they are not saved. I think God wants to use my stand to witness to them. Anyway, SNO wanted to talk to our neighbors about 2 months ago and announce our split, but the timing has never been right. They have been on vacation or busy with children’s ball games, etc.; there just hasn’t been a chance. SNO’s plan was to do this a while back but God has so far made it difficult for this “talk” to take place. But I have not interfered in any way. I have not asked SNO to wait, and I have not refused to talk to our friends. I have only asked God to handle it for me. SNO’s “course” was to announce our split ages ago, but his “steps” have been ordered so that the timing is never right. The time may still come that we talk to our neighbors, but it has certainly not been in SNO’s timing.

The second thing that I praise God for is the redecorating done in our house. Since Christmas, SNO has decided that “his” house should be more contemporary. At first, it really bothered me that he was changing everything, and back at Christmas I was worried about not liking our house and wanting to change it again once we were restored. The first room SNO started with was our bedroom and to be honest, I do not like it. But, after some praying concerning this whole thing, God told me that the decor in my house did not matter and that I should let go of how I felt about it. So, I gave that worry to God and I have not concerned myself with it since. And do you know what? Since I gave it to God, SNO’s taste has definitely leaned more toward my taste in decor. I believe that God has influenced his taste so that I will be comfortable there when I move back. SNO’s “course” was to make things very modern, but his “steps” have been more compromising to include me. And, again, I did not confront him. I have not asked him to change anything; nor have I complained about anything he has picked out. The only thing I have done is offered my opinion WHEN HE HAS ASKED and given out complements. This redecorating addresses another topic I brought up to Linda some time ago about how I can’t “get my house ready” for my spouse to come home because I am the one who will be “coming home”, so I look at this as SNO is getting ready for my return – and he doesn’t even realize it! What’s really funny is that he bought the exact same color towels for our master bath that I did for my new bath. He didn’t even notice!!! I’m not even sure he saw my towels when I bought them. So, when I move back in, our towels will “merge” and we’ll have this whole new set of towels. That may sound insignificant, but one of our last arguments (fifteen months ago) was about needing new towels. It’s funny how things just work out.

God pays attention to all the details in our lives. Man may have all sorts of plans and ideas of how life should play out, but God can put up obstacles or take down barriers and determine our steps in that way. So, it doesn’t really matter what SNO’s plans are. I stopped concerning myself with his plans and so far, everything has worked out the way the Lord has wanted it. I haven’t let everything go, but I am trying because I see what happens when I do!

With every passing day in marriage restoration ministry, I become more and more aware of the vital significance of John 15:5 as we stand for the miracle of marriage restoration in our lives, because it very clearly says “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. And when I see men and women who are standing for marriage restoration struggling so hard to “do” what they know they need to do, but just don’t seem able to do; I wish I could just do some kind of heart transplant and help them get the power of God’s love, mercy and grace so deep into their being that they could never forget it and that they would realize the power it has to transform and renew their hearts, minds and lives. But even that is something that ONLY God, through the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit can do.

Yet, I long to see people understand that Jesus Christ is the ONLY way, the ONLY truth and the ONLY hope we have for abundant life, as John 14:6 says: Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. And it’s so important to understand that, because until we get to a place of longing for an intimate love relationship with Jesus Christ more than we long for the restoration of our marriages; we are likely to be terribly frustrated and disappointed, because the reason the Lord caused or allowed the circumstances we’re in now is to make us turn to Him and recognize that we are nothing and can do nothing without Him. Jesus did not die just to give us fire insurance; He died so we could exchange the filthy rags of our sin and unrighteousness for His holiness and glorious righteousness. And that means a literal exchange of some kind MUST take place; which means we have to give up our own will and way and submit to and conform to the will and ways of God. And just as we can’t take the past and all of the hurt, bitterness and resentment of unforgiveness into the glorious futures of restored marriages God has planned for us; we won’t get there without giving up control of our own lives and submitting and surrendering EVERYTHING to Jesus Christ. Otherwise, we have NOT made or allowed Him to be the Lord of our lives, and without being Lord, He WILL NOT BE and can not be our Savior! And Matthew 16:25 leaves no doubt that making that exchange means giving up our own lives; no longer trying to do things based on our own will and flawed human understanding, and making Jesus our Lord so we can experience the joy and victory we all seek as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. It simply says: For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. It doesn’t get any clearer than that. In and of ourselves, we can DO nothing, but in the strength of Christ Jesus, we CAN do ALL things, just as Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) states: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And, we are all quite familiar with The Lord’s declaration and promise in Matthew 19:26, which says Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

One of the things the Lord has really been dealing with me about personally over the past few months, and especially so in the past few weeks, is that I MUST avoid the devil’s trap of striving to do and accomplish even the Lord’s work and will in and of myself, because as John 15:5 states above; apart from Christ, we can do NOTHING! It is ONLY when we are VITALLY connected to Him and when HE ABIDES IN US that we can be all God calls us to be and all that Jesus died to make possible!

However, as we begin the process of being transformed into the image of Christ, we must stay in the Word daily, because otherwise we will find it very difficult if not impossible to heed Paul’s warning in Romans 12:1-2, which says Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. And without reading and STUDYING god’s Word, we can’t possibly know His GOOD and PERFECT will! And it’s very important to remember that as we LEARN to die to self and crucify our old nature, we MUST put on the WHOLE armor of God as instructed in Ephesians 6:10-18, which says:
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Otherwise we are in danger of experiencing what Jesus warned against in Matthew 12:43-45, which says:
43 “When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it.
44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order.
45 Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

But the good news is that the Lord even sent the Holy Spirit to enable us to do ALL that God calls us to do and to guarantee the final outcome for HIS glory, including our ability to abide in Him and the restoration of our marriages and families! So read Ephesians 1:11-14 and be blessed and encouraged!
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

One of the most confounding, yet transforming realizations anyone standing for marriage restoration is likely to come to is that no matter how much we thought we loved our spouses; in reality we probably didn’t even know what true love is! In fact, it was probably our failure to understand that and to know HOW to love, that led to the inevitable demise of our marriages. And to prove that, we don’t have to look any further than John 15:13 (NKJV), which says Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

Oh yes, I have no doubt some are saying right about now “I’d give up my life for my wife.” Or “I’d give up my life for my husband.” But would we? Did we? Because if we really would sacrifice our lives for the lives of our spouses as we probably think we would, how is it that we were really so selfish and self centered in our day to day lives with them? For instance, thinking back on it now, just how many times did we insist on having our own way or on doing things the way we wanted them done? Just how many times did we stop to consider our spouses needs or feelings or what they would like or wouldn’t like? And how many times did we do something just because we knew it would please our spouse, even though it wasn’t something we particularly wanted to do or even liked to do? How many little things did we make a big deal out of that seem so totally UNIMPORTANT now? And how many things would we do very differently today, if only given the opportunity? If we were so unwilling to give up our own desires or needs concerning the little, insignificant issues of everyday life, what leads us to think we’d really lay down our physical lives for our spouses? And who’s to say the Bible literally means laying down our physical life only; because I don’t think it does. In the same way, none of us really believe Jesus meant picking up a literal cross every day when He said … “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. And for anyone who still has a difficult time accepting the fact that you haven’t loved your spouse well; just read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, because few of us would have the nerve to read these verses and then continue to believe that we have loved our spouses well by the only measure that really counts; God’s measure, which in part says Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The good news is that when we humble ourselves enough to recognize how miserably we’ve failed to demonstrate love to our spouses; the Lord is able to change our hearts and we truly end up loving our spouses more than ever before! And that’s such an awesome testimony of the transforming power of our Lord and Savior, which will in the end be what draws our spouses back to us and ultimately to the Lord. But that won’t happen until we learn to see our husbands or wives through the eyes of God’s love, which means we have to stop being “sin inspectors”…because true love COVERS sin and does not magnify or disclose it; which we know based on the following verses:

1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 17:9
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

And when we’re finally able to see our spouses through the sin covering eyes of God’s love, we have really taken one of the most important steps toward the restoration of our marriages, because that is absolutely necessary to create an atmosphere of grace. And grace is necessary for redemption, and redemption is necessary for restoration.

One of the FAM members shared a great article from Joyce Meyer on the private website today, Two Are Better than One, and it’s an excellent article about the destruction selfishness causes in marriage. And it coincides perfectly well with her TV broadcast messages from yesterday and today, which also deal with selfishness and point out many things we might not tend to think of as being selfish. So I strongly encourage everyone to read the above article and to watch the following messages from Joyce. And as often is the case, be prepared to take notes, because she’s got a lot of great stuff to say. And be blessed and encouraged…and learn to love God’s way!

Are You Full of God or Full of Yourself? – Part 1

Are You Full of God or Full of Yourself? – Part 2

One thing EVERYONE standing for marriage restoration has in common is that we all want God’s results; and according to His written Word; that’s the restoration of our marriages and families, because Malachi 2 makes it very clear that God hates divorce! There can be no doubt of that when we read verses 13 and 14 in the New Living translation, which says em>Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. Then verses 15 and 16 go on to say Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” And then 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) leaves no doubt what God thinks when a man leaves and/or divorces his wife, because it says In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. And the same applies to wives as well, because we know God is not a respecter of people. So if God upholds the covenant of marriage by refusing to receive, bless or honor the offerings, worship and prayers of men and women who leave their faithful spouses; it’s totally reasonable to conclude that God wants marriages to be restored. And God’s desire and will for marriage restoration is further confirmed by what Jesus said in Matthew 19:4-6, which says And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,’ and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” So when we decide to stand for the restoration of our covenant marriages; we don’t have to wonder or question whether or not that’s God’s will. There are certainly a WHOLE LOT MORE passages of scripture supporting our stand for restoration than the one or two verses continually twisted and perverted to make just about every allowance under the sun for divorce and adultery!

SO, having concluded that God’s result IS the restoration of our marriages, we need to know what it takes to GET God’s results. And Psalm 119:105 provides the most important instructions as we embark on our journey to marriage restoration, because it says Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. So the ONLY way to know how to get to the restoration of our marriages is by relying on the Word of God and DOING what it teaches us to do. But it does us NO good to know or understand what God tells us to do if we aren’t going to DO it! Jesus made that VERY clear in His comparison between a Wise and Foolish Builder in Matthew 7:24-27, which says:
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” And that is further confirmed in Proverbs 3:5-6, which says Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And we’re promised the same thing in Psalm 37:5-6, which says Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

While it’s not unusual to hear that we have to “trust and obey” if we want to get God’s results as we stand for the restoration of our marriages; including a whole laundry list of dos and don’ts; the one instruction we don’t hear as often as we should, even though it should ALWAYS be our FIRST priority is what Jesus told us in Mark 12:29-30, which says “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'[ Today’s society is so “results oriented” that we often forget that IF we fail to DO the “first thing” FIRST, we can not expect to get the desired result! Order is VERY important to God, so when he says HE HAS TO BE FIRST; that’s just what He means. So when we deviate from that, we can not count on getting HIS results. And if we’re honest, when we consider how much time we think about our spouses and marriage restoration and how much time we think about God and our relationship with Him; comparing the two, God probably comes out on the short end of the stick! And we surely can’t afford that considering the wonderful promise in Psalm 37:4, which says Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. And the way we “delight in the Lord” and “trust and obey” Him as we stand for the restoration of our marriages can be summed up in Matthew 6:33:34, which says But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. So IF we take our eyes off of our marital situations and keep them steadfastly focused on Jesus; if we make our walk and relationship with Him our FIRST priority and we delight in Him (and according to John 1:1-5, when we delight in the Word, we delight in the Lord); trusting and obeying will be a piece of cake…and We will definitely be blessed and encouraged, because we will then get God’s results!