As we witness God’s hand at work in the circumstances of many of our spouses’ lives in full accordance with what His Word says, it’s very important for us to take our own inventory to insure we’re providing the right atmosphere for the restoration of our marriages. And that’s an atmosphere of grace, because without grace there can be no redemption, and without redemption, there can be no restoration. So it’s not by any means a coincidence that the same things that keep us from providing an atmosphere of grace are the very things that keep God from hearing and answering our prayers and which interfere with or hinder the flow of the Holy Spirit; such as pride, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, self-righteousness, envy, anger, strife, grumbling and complaining; being self-centered, condescending and judgmental – just to name a few.

There’s been some very interesting conversation about this on the private websites, especially in response to a message shared early this morning by a fellowship member. One of our other members said she felt the message was meant for her, because her husband asks her to do things for him all the time, and she said she has a tendency to feel like he’s just using her and that she battles to overcome that fear. Since my response to her addresses some of the issues we all have to overcome to create an atmosphere of grace, I’m just going to share that as follows:

“(Name Omitted), that’s something many of us struggle with as we stand for our marriages, but we have to remember that the Lord tells us to HUMBLE ourselves under His mighty hand and that HE will lift us up in due time. So EVEN if someone is taking advantage of us, IF we are humble, especially since the Bible says we are to submit ourselves to our husbands in EVERYTHING AS UNTO THE LORD, we can count on God to make that wrong right. Don’t forget, His Word ALSO tells us that if they ask for our shirt, give them our coat as well; if they ask us to go a mile, go two and if they slap us on one cheek, turn the other. That’s something we don’t hear taught much these days, but that is biblical teaching and something we need to heed to see the awesome power of God released in our lives and the restoration of our marriages. And another biblical teaching that is not very popular in today’s society is that God created us for our husband’s delight and completion, and not the other way around. Since our husbands are to us as Christ is to the church, then we are here for their praise, honor and glory. When we truly understand God’s plan for marriage and submit to it in faith and obedience to Him, we WILL see miracles right and left…and we will end up with everything we want as well!”

Then in response to what I shared above, the same fellowship member requested prayer for the Lord’s help to demonstrate love according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which says Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And since these verses provide God’s perfect formula for creating the atmosphere of grace necessary for marriage restoration, we ALL need God’s help to love our spouses accordingly. And by studying the following verses, we can gain an even greater understanding of the nature and characteristics of the grace we need to demonstrate as we stand for the restoration of our marriages:

2 Peter 1:2
Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

2 John 1:3
“Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father’s Son, will be with us in truth and love.

Revelation 22:21
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen.

Proverbs 3:34
He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.

John 1:16
From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.

Acts 15:11
No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.”

Acts 20:32
“Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified.

Romans 3:24
and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Romans 11:6
And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.

2 Corinthians 4:15
All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

2 Corinthians 8:7
But just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us —see that you also excel in this grace of giving.

Ephesians 1:7
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace

Ephesians 2:5
made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

Ephesians 2:7
in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—

Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

2 Thessalonians 2:16
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope,

2 Timothy 1:2
To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

Titus 3:7
so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 12:15
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

1 Peter 1:13
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

1 Peter 5:5
Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

So the truly good news for us as we stand for marriage restoration is that the Lord’s grace is always sufficient and that when we rely on Him through the power of the Holy Spirit and walk in accordance with His Word, our grace WILL be sufficient too! That’s just one reason we’ll ALWAYS be blessed and encouraged when we stand on the truth of God’s Word!

The following was posted on the ladies’ private fellowship site at 3:00am this morning, and is certainly a confirmation of yesterday’s SOF post, so I felt it was important enough to share here too. Like the author said, it is probably a very important message for someone in particular, so I thank her for her obedience and willingness to let me share it here, and I hope and pray that someone will be blessed and encouraged by it…and know that we can’t possibly do better than just STAND on the TRUTH of God’s Word!

“I was writing this before I read Linda’s post from last night, and then I started to read the post and couldn’t believe how it seems to fit so much with that. God must want someone to really get this – don’t look at the circumstances and look to HIM. I was thinking that I would just share this with Linda, because I didn’t want it to seem that I was…I don’t know what – that I had too many great things happening. And God said to me “This isn’t about you; it is for MY GLORY.” So I hope this is encouragement to those of you that don’t see how God is working in your spouses lives. God has me up in the middle of the night posting this; He would not let me fall back to sleep, so someone must need to hear this. God is showing me how miserable HE is making my husband’s life. Some of you may believe the devil when he says your spouse is happier. Don’t; that is a lie. They can’t have any peace when they’re going against God’s will and living in sin. My husband is proof of that.

Yesterday he called a bunch of times, and a lot about the truck. He called early in the morning to see if I had it towed but he already knew that I would have. And then about 3 or 4 more times through the day. We arranged for me to pick up his truck since he was playing hockey and couldn’t get there in time. Thank you, Lord, that he asked me to help him out. I thank God for the open communication – another answered prayer. I brought the truck home, and it was running good. But when I went to meet him with it later, it wouldn’t start, so he came over and had to take our daughters car this time. God is hitting him hard with stuff breaking down.

One of the things I shared with my husband when we were talking that day last week, when I thought I had talked too much, was about coincidences. I said I believed God was responsible for all things and I actually shared my feelings about the needle thing, and told him that it was God. So he called again late tonight and said that things just keep getting worse and wondered if I have a voodoo doll of him. Funny how he thinks of me…Praise to God. Apparently he hit a curb and broke the power steering line on our daughter’s car and now he has to get that fixed too! He could have just got it fixed and not called to tell me, but thank you, Lord, that he did.

God has placed it on my heart that even those who don’t see His work in their spouses lives need to know that HE IS WORKING. Keep the faith and start talking things into existence. Call those things that aren’t as though they are. God will do the rest. I have done nothing – just been the one my husband could turned to to fix stuff. ALL for Gods Glory; praise the Lord. I hope this encourages you that God is faithful and He is working if you let Him be God. (Name Omitted)”

Response by Linda Wattu on March 27th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Yes, (Name Omitted), I’d say the Holy Spirit was DEFINITELY working through you and I agree – He obviously wants someone to get the message that we don’t have to do ANYTHING but love and trust God, and let our spouses go. He will deal with them and if they don’t catch on sooner rather than later, they WILL start to see things go down hill, just as (Name Omitted) and so many others in the ministry have seen happen with their spouses. Thank you so much for this awesome testimony! And look how God used what you thought was a bad thing for HIS glory! And the devil was trying to make you second guess what you felt led to share! Hmmm…April 1st is looking more and more like a possibility after all!!! LOL God is SO awesome!!!

Dear Lord, we praise your Holy name and we give YOU ALL the glory! Thank you for this great thing you have done! Not only is (Name Omitted) seeing his precious wife through new eyes, He is seeing and admiring the new creation you have made of her! We love you and thank you for all you have done and will continue to do in this marriage and family! And it is in the name of Jesus that we pray and give thanks. Amen.

One of the most frustrating things to witness in marriage restoration ministry is when the devil starts whispering lies to standers and they become confused. For instance, they might begin to wonder if God wants their spouse to find someone who can make them happy, because they weren’t the spouse they could have been, or even should have been. Or their spouse appears to be happy and prosperous, so they wonder if God really minds what they’re doing. Or their spouse is so angry, cold, distant and indifferent, they believe it’s impossible for them to ever love them again. Or as time goes on and they can’t see any manifestation of God’s power at work on their behalf, they become discouraged and doubtful. The list goes on and on, but the problem with anything and everything based on circumstances and situations, human emotions and understanding, is that they TOTALLY ignore the truth and power of God’s Word! And if we’re going to stand for the restoration of our marriages, the ONLY thing we have to stand on is the TRUTH of God’s Word, because if God’s Word is not true, NOTHING we believe about God or Jesus is true. It’s either ALL true, or none of it’s true. That’s why our belief in the inherent truth and reliability of God’s Word, the Bible, as the infallible and inspired Word of God, is the foundation for FAM Ministries, and the ONLY foundation strong enough to withstand the forces of hell and the rest of the world as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

That means we have to evaluate everything we see and all that we hear from Satan, our spouses, and well meaning family and friends, according to the Word of God. But the GOOD news for us is that the things we hear and see from the other side RARELY, if ever, line up with the written Word of God, which naturally generates opposing sides, with opposite ideas, opinions, standards and values. But despite society’s willingness to accept that there are no absolutes and that everything is relative, with God ALL things ARE absolute; either matters of good or evil, righteousness or sin, obedience or disobedience, the way to heaven or hell, the truth or lies, and matters of life or death and blessings or curses. And John 14:6 says Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. And 2 Peter 2:1-2 warns: But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. Then “Matthew 7:13-14 even says Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. So based on the above verses, we shouldn’t be too surprised that taking an unpopular stand for the restoration of our marriages can be a pretty lonely and isolated experience, because most people believe in taking the “easy” way, and that when something is hard to do, it’s not worth the time or trouble. But according to Psalm 119:105, God’s Word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path, and in Matthew 4:4, Jesus reminded us that we don’t live on bread alone but by EVERY word that comes from the mouth of God..

So once we realize that our stand for the restoration of our marriage is in accordance with biblical teaching, then we have to rely on God’s AWESOME promise in Romans 8:28-31 (NJKV), which says And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? And this is a point often overlooked as we stand for our marriages, because IF God is on our side, HE IS NOT ON THE SIDE OF OUR SPOUSES and the adultery being committed against us! He can’t be on both sides; one side is right and one side is wrong. If God hates divorce and considers adultery an abomination, which we know He does, then He HAS to be on the side standing against both. And one side will have His protection, provision and blessing and the other won’t, unless they turn from their wicked ways, because Deuteronomy 11:25-28 says No man will be able to stand against you. The LORD your God, as he promised you, will put the terror and fear of you on the whole land, wherever you go. See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse-the blessing if you obey the commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today; the curse if you disobey the commands of the LORD your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known. And Deuteronomy 30:1-6 says When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come upon you and you take them to heart wherever the LORD your God disperses you among the nations, and when you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back. He will bring you to the land that belonged to your fathers, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your fathers. The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. And then Malachi 2:2 says >If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor my name,” says the LORD Almighty, “I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not set your heart to honor me.

As I was contemplating some of the situations involving some of our members yesterday, the Lord brought some things to my attention that I hadn’t considered before, but now that I do, it’s amazing to recognize how faithfully we are seeing the truth of the above passages of scripture coming to pass in the lives of our members and their spouses. First, the members who have truly let their spouses go and clearly put their relationship with the Lord first, and are consistently the most active in the ministry, are among the ones who are currently experiencing the most progress in the restoration of their marriages. And while the Lord seems to be blessing them right and left, life for their spouses seems to be going from bad to worse. It’s also interesting to note that the prodigal spouses that heard from the Lord and responded without much delay did not experience the same kind of financial and emotional devastation the ones who continue to resist seem to be experiencing. Even though it’s definitely something we shouldn’t do, it’s difficult to resist telling the spouses who are so miserable and yet so convinced that there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing, to read the above passages of scripture and then look at who the Lord is blessing and who He’s not blessing! And the sad thing is that the longer they refuse to turn from the disobedience in their lives, the worse things are likely to get. But what blessings await them when they finally turn from their sin and return to their families! It’s amazing to see how accurately ALL of our testimonies and praise reports bear out the truth of God’s Word from the above passages of scripture, which should be a great source of comfort and encouragement to us, because they confirm the following verses, which we ALL love so much, among many others. Just remember, God IS on your side; He HATES divorce and adultery, so He’s NOT on the side of anyone seeking a divorce or involved in adultery. And we CAN stand on the truth and power of His Word, because He WILL bring it to pass! So be blessed and encouraged

Isaiah 55:8-11
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Isaiah 46:11
From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.

Proverbs 16:1
To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.

Psalm 37:4-6
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 20:24
A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?

Jeremiah 10:23
I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.

Proverbs 21:30
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.

Even though it’s something I’m not often led to talk or write about, I feel the Lord wants me to share what I know through my own life experience about the difference good and bad attitudes make when we find ourselves in trying circumstances, because our attitudes can definitely make ANY situation better or worse. As we think in our hearts, so are we, just as Proverbs 23:7 says, which is something we really need to keep in mind as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. Of course, as with just about everything else concerning us as Christians, even whether or not we have positive or negative attitudes depends on the level of faith we have and how it’s walked out in the reality of our lives. In the end, our attitudes are really just a mirror reflecting the measure of faith we have in God, and the trust and confidence we place in the power of His Word and promises.

The following post shared by one of the FAM Fellowship members on the ladies’ private website is what prompted me to consider sharing my personal experience and understanding of how important our attitudes are when we find ourselves in seemingly insurmountable circumstances, so I appreciate her permission to include it here as follows.

“Yesterday, a very special and dear sister in Christ called me just to chat and then asked how she could pray for me. I was actually taken off guard since I really didn’t know what to say, other than to continue to pray for further softening of my husband’s heart and the sale of our home. We also agreed that my husband still has anger issues that needed prayer as well. But I tried to come up with something for myself and was unable to, because of the peace I have. And when I lay down last night to read my bible, God led me to Acts 2:25-28:
King David said this about him: ‘I see that the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and my tongue shouts his praises! My body rests in hope. For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your Holy One to rot in the grave. You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence.

I am resting in God’s peace – I am finally able after all this time to enjoy the JOY in my life and not let Satan drag me down. Even this morning, my husband got very irritated with me over something very minor, and slammed the door on me. But you know what, I didn’t let Satan steal the joy I have, because at least my husband is here in the home. If he wants to get upset over a toothbrush and slam a door, that is his issue, and not mine – He has to own up to his anger, not me. Otherwise Satan will use that to destroy my joy. I am finally taking ownership back from Satan and living my life so I can glorify God and tell others of the peace and joy that is available to all if they will just allow God to work in their own lives.

I read in my Bible, under the notes section while reading the book of Acts, that while the apostles waited, they were doing what they could- praying, seeking God’s guidance and getting organized. Waiting for God to work does not mean sitting around doing nothing. We must do what we can while we can as long as we don’t run ahead of God.” Isn’t that oh so true of our stand for our marriages. I am not sitting back waiting for Satan to come in again to steal me away from God’s plan. However, I am not going to live in the flesh either and get ahead of God.
Love you all and have a very blessed day. (Name Omitted)”

And here’s the response I posted yesterday:
“(Name Omitted), I may run behind these days, but I do hope to make the time to respond when you share something as important as this. As someone learning to live with the limitations of being blind, I learned early on in life that my attitude would make my circumstances either better or worse. And while I can’t do anything about the circumstances, I sure can do something about my attitude, and it’s ONLY because I made the intentional decision NOT to be handicapped by what others would consider a great handicap, that God has actually been able to use it for His glory. Now, what kind of glory would He have if I just sat around and felt sorry for myself and focused only on what I can’t do or change instead of what I can.

So…that sort of puts me in a unique position to say very authoritatively – stop feeling sorry for yourself! And, as many of you already know, I’m not shy about doing that when necessary! In fact, I haven’t ever felt led to write about this on the site, but maybe it’s time I do!

I greatly admire you, (Name Omitted), which you already know. And I’ve often said I don’t know if there’s enough grace available to help me do as well as you have done in the circumstances you’re in – but we all know that’s just another one of the devil’s lies! In the same way I don’t think I could walk your walk, you probably don’t think you could walk mine. But our God is so awesome and so faithful that He gives us all the grace and anointing we need to walk the walk He has called each one of us to, and that’s how Jesus is glorified in and through us. So thank you for sharing this – it’s very encouraging and an important reminder that we have to CHOOSE to be happy in the Lord – that God lays the choice in front of us and tells us to choose life and blessings. And I’m glad to know that I don’t even have to ask you if it’s okay for me to modify this slightly and use it in my SOF post today, which is what I think I’ll do! so thanks for that too! I love you and appreciate you, as I know the other men and women do as well!

Dear Lord, I thank you for the awesome work you have done in (Name Omitted) heart and life – for the amazing grace and peace you give her – that she refuses to let the devil steal what You, our Lord and Savior, came to give us. And, Lord, we ask for your transforming power to overcome her husband and that his hardened heart will begin to melt like the snow on the mountain tops as the weather turns from the frost of winter to the warmth of spring! Tear down all of the remaining walls of resistance and soften the ground of his heart as you make your thoughts known to him and pour your heart out to him. We’ve definitely seen a change in him lately, Lord, and we know the devil hates that, but we also know that your power is the greater and that every wicked scheme and plan of the devil’s is of no force or effect; that he will soon be totally and completely captivated by the beautiful and precious wife you have so richly blessed him with. That man has to know that NO other woman on the face of this earth could ever love him the way she does, and your Word tells us that unfailing love is what every man desires! Thank you for the miracle of restoration you are working and completing in this marriage and family – especially with their son (Name Omitted), and that you will be ever so faithful to complete it! We love you and we praise you as we give you all the honor and glory for the great things you have already done and continue to do! And we ask this in your most precious name, Jesus. amen.”

Obviously, I was very impressed with the message shared in the above post, because it is such a real life example of the day to day choices we all have to make as we stand against the forces of hell and the world for the restoration of our marriages and families, or in ANY situation or circumstance that could overwhelm us if we allowed it to. And it did remind me that I have had to make choices like that most of my life, and that one of the saddest things is seeing God given potential totally wasted and squandered because of self-pity or when we choose to identify ourselves as victims instead of the victors Jesus Christ died to make us. And we know that because Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And 2 Corinthians 12:9 affirms that, because it says But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. And what awesome encouragement and assurance we have from the Lord in Isaiah 41:10-13, which says So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. And, of course, we just can’t do better than the Lord’s promise in Romans 8:28-31, which reminds us: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

So we all have choices to make as we stand for our marriages and when we face any difficulty in our lives, including poor health or even some kind of disability like blindness. We can focus on everything we don’t have, or on what we do have. We can focus on what we can’t do, or we can focus on what we can do. We can live in the past, or we can live in the present. We can live with regret and self-pity, or we can live with the grace and hope Jesus died to give us. We can be part of the problem, or we can be part of the solution.

One important lesson my personal experience has taught me is that we won’t ever have more than we’re willing to settle for, and I for one, am NOT willing to settle for anything less than God’s best! So the choice is before all of us to make, because no matter what the situation and circumstances are, we ARE going to make everything better or worse with our attitude. And if nothing else, I know the work the Lord has led me to do in this ministry, as well as other work I do on behalf of fraud victims, is a perfect example of the difference our attitudes can make in our lives and the lives of others. When we realize that God can use ANY vessel as long as it’s fully yielded and willing, that’s all we need to know, and it will be more than enough to overcome any disability, short coming or obstacle!. Whatever God calls us to, HE will give us EVERYTHIG we need to do, and all that’s necessary to get us through! And one of the most important lessons I had to learn as a Christian living with the undeniable limitations of blindness is that God would NEVER expect me to do anything I am not able to do, but that He DOES expect me to do everything I CAN do. And that was a very significant and life changing realization for me personally, because I did used to think things like…if I could se…I could do this or I could do that. So I was focusing much more on what I couldn’t do instead of what I could do. And the night the Lord told me so clearly that He didn’t expect me to do what He knows I can’t do; that He just wanted me to do what He knew I could do and whatever He put in front of me TO do, I made a commitment to Him that I’d do my very best to do ANYTHING he put in front of me to do. And if we would all take that attitude in every circumstance and situation, we would see the power and glory of our Lord and Savior manifested in ways far beyond our wildest imagination!

A very simple but powerful prayer I’ve had to rely on from time to time in my life is known as The Serenity Prayer, because it goes something like this: god grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And I hope to always walk in the power and wisdom of the counsel in 1 Peter 4:11, which says If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. And when we line our attitudes up with these two things, we can’t go wrong and we WILL most assuredly be blessed and encouraged, and Jesus will be glorified!

I know there are times when regular visitors to the site must think I sound like a broken record, but despite that, I just have to say it again…I will never cease to be totally amazed and blown away by God’s awesome power of confirmation! When He has an important message for us, or when we ask Him to confirm something, He NEVER lets us down – and He makes sure we get the point loud and clear!

I had a difficult time getting to sleep last night, because the Lord had laid something on my heart so strongly that I finally had to send a message of support and encouragement to my husband, even though it could prove embarrassing if what I was sensing was wrong. But I did get confirmation about it this morning and found out that one of the fellowship members also had a difficult night – in fact, two of them did. But the Lord provided so much encouragement and confirmation this morning that it’s almost impossible to believe it’s real!

First, I loved Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message, You’ve Got What It Takes – Part I, this morning and felt it really spoke to the situation I was concerned about so I decided to use it with my SOF post today. And then I listened to tomorrow’s message, You’ve Got What It Takes – Part II, and decided to include it as well.

Then I received email confirmation that what the Lord had put on my heart last night was true, and then a call from the member who had posted a prayer request on the ladies site early this morning, which I hadn’t read yet. But which was just further confirmation of our absolute need to take possession of God’s power and promises, especially as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. So I was already pretty impressed with how I saw the Lord working when one of the ladies sent me a link to something she wanted to share with the member who had posted the prayer request early this morning, because she didn’t have her email address. And when I checked out what she sent, it actually made me cry, because of how much it tied into the message I had sent last night and because of the encouragement I knew it would provide. And since it is SO encouraging, here’s the link to Be Like and Eagle. And one reason it made me cry is because I always encourage my husband with Isaiah 40-30-31 when he’s discouraged, because he has always loved eagles! Now that was certainly a “God thing”!

And just as I finished reading the above message about eagles, one of the ladies called and shared Marsha Burns’ Small Straws in the Wind message for the day, which says:
“Remember that your affliction is for the moment, and do not overreact to temporary stress. Instead, look up and rise above your difficult situations into the realm of the Spirit where you will find peace. It is vital that you maintain an eternal perspective. Refuse to be drawn into conflict in times of mental and emotional tension, says the Lord.
2 Corinthians 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.”
That was pretty amazing because it was perfect counsel for the situation I was concerned about and I’ve been sharing Marsha’s messages with my husband for over a week now, because they have been so consistently on a similar theme – just hang onto the Lord, because He has you covered and the end of your struggle is near! That’s my paraphrase, of course! And I also felt this would be very encouraging for the member who was in such distress when I talked to her earlier, all of which I shared with the member who shared what Marsha Burns wrote today. But as if all that wasn’t enough, the same woman called me back a little later to share what Glenn Jackson wrote today in his Exhortations from the Father message, which says:
“It is never a matter of My children having to “earn” My blessing. It is a matter of them being in “position” to allow My blessing to overtake them and rest upon them; and it is perfect obedience to My Word and the voice of my Spirit alone which will cause My children to be in that position which shall bring them forth into the fullness of the rich inheritance I have given them in Christ.

The only way for one’s “emotional” needs to be met is for them to have their “spiritual” needs met first – through a revelation of My Word [Love].
+ Real faith is the product of a deep and clear revelation in one’s heart of “abiding” in Christ.

To the degree that My children rely on My Word, it is to that degree that they are “in Christ” – in any given moment. Therefore, the continual exercising of faith and obedience, moment by moment, day by day, will ensure their appropriation of the “fullness” of their salvation.

Feelings of unworthiness and insecurity in My children are a product of believing a lie. For if one is not believing the truth, in faith, then they are exercising “natural” faith [fear] in the reciprocal lie of the Evil One.”

So the same message just kept coming through from every source – God gives us everything we want and need, but it IS up to us to TAKE possession of it! And we do that ONLY through total reliance on the power of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God!

And, finally, a little later in the day, the member who had shared the messages from Marsha Burns and Glenn Jackson called to let me know that she had posted a message about overcoming fear and how it keeps us from the promises of God on the ladies’ site and she wanted me to check it out. When I read what the Lord had put on her heart, I knew it was something many of us could relate to, so I’ve edited it just a little bit to make it more appropriate to share here, and I know everyone standing for marriage restoration will be blessed and encouraged by her experience and the word of her testimony as follows, for which I greatly appreciate her permission to share here!

“I have been reflecting on my experiences this week and God has really showed me some things that I hope the Holy Spirit will bring across in this post. Judy’s message today had a wonderful example of what I want to talk about, here it is:

Circumstances or Perspective? by Randy Alcorn

“One night a man heard a noise nearby and thought there was a burglar in his backyard. The stress was so great he died of a heart attack. Did the burglar cause his stress? No. /There was no burglar./ What caused his stress—and cost him his life—was not reality but his faulty perception of reality.

To overcome stress you must either change your circumstances or your perceptions. You can change some circumstances, of course, but many you cannot. Our perceptions, much more than our circumstances, are the building blocks with which we construct our lives.”

In all that I struggled with this past week, one of the things that made it so easy for me to believe that my husband had rejected me by pursuing a co-worker, was that I have lived with that fear and expectation for all of our married life. Growing up with abuse, and feelings of low self-esteem, from day one in our marriage, I had waited for my 2 worst fears-to be rejected and to be abandoned. When we had trouble in our marriage as a result of my insecurities and fears, I realize looking back that my affair culminated for 2 reasons: 1) rebellion and anger against God for not “fixing” my life the way I wanted it and 2) anger borne out of the anticipation, the certainty that my husband would ultimately reject me. And so to preserve my fragile ego, I was going to reject him first. I am not proud to admit these things but it is my hope that by addressing my issues of fear, some others can be spared unnecessary pain and can gain a greater sense of trust in God.

Many years ago I had a dream. In this dream, my husband and I lived in a “fear world”. Everything was shades of black and gray. We had overseers, taskmasters that were like vampires-thirsty for blood, and full of hate. We knew we had to escape from this world and in the dream we got into this ski lift contraption and moved upward into a peaceful world. In this world, we were one again. But this new world scared us too. It was such a deep desire of our heart; it was so beautiful that we were afraid we would lose it. So we made the choice to go back to the fear world; it was what we knew. But as soon as we returned to the fear world, we cried out “What have we done??” We knew that we would die in this place if we didn’t find a way to escape again. At this point I awoke from that dream, sweaty, and scared. It wasn’t hard for me to interpret the dream. Just a few months prior, my husband and I had had a “false start” to our restoration. God brought us together and it was so wonderful, but we were so afraid of losing it-why? Because it was a deep desire of our hearts, and for all of our lives, both of us had suffered severely from fear of loss and fear of failure. We were afraid to lay hold of the promises. When I awoke from that dream, I remember I cried out to God, so burdened to pray that He would show mercy and again deliver us from that fear world. I prayed that He would make us people who could receive his promises; his good plans. The very next night I had another dream. In this dream, I opened my door and welcomed in the prophet Daniel and many others. In the dream I was so glad for their help and I brought them into my house. Daniel walked by my husband who was asleep in the middle of the day; asleep even though the sun beat down through the windows. Daniel marveled that he was asleep and asked me how long it had been that way. In bitterness of spirit I replied, “Too long.” As the dream progressed, I was in the kitchen, being dressed in robes of white, then linen, then blue. As I was being dressed; I was told that I was being dressed for work. Daniel moved to a corner of the room and began praying for us. His prayers were so fervent; so strong that I could feel the power of them ascending to heaven. Not long after that, my husband stumbled through the doorway, with tears on his face. He was like a little child, praising and thanking God for waking him and restoring him. When I saw him, I cried out; my knees were weak and we moved to hold one another as we both thanked God and we both knew in our spirits that everything was going to be alright.

Well, two dreams – both from God. One a warning; an admonition to pray-revealing to me our spiritual states. The second; God answering my prayer and confirming to me that He would step into our lives; that He would reach out and with his own arm work out our healing and restoration; that he would prepare me for service to him. (I also want to mention that later I had a dream in which I was sitting on my husband’s lap and in a mirror I saw that he and I were both dressed in the same clothes-white, linen, then blue.) Again, the Lord was confirming His plans and promises to restore us and to bring us both into service to him. But which dream have I been living in? God gave me the promise, but haven’t I been allowing myself to be stuck in the fear world? I did not have to endure the pain of last week. It was not God’s will for me to do so. It is not God’s will for me to remain in the wilderness. No, I am to come out, cross over, go up into my Promised Land. If I had been living and believing in the second dream, I would have spared myself unnecessary pain. Yet I thank God for this experience because now I can share this with each of you. Each of you can go forth in your own promises; each one of you can prepare for your journey to your own land. Each of you can be on guard against the spirits of fear and disbelief. Each of you can pray for your trust in God to be renewed. Each one of you can be spared the pain of disbelief. And that is my earnest prayer right now. Please take these words into your hearts, and examine your hearts. Allow God to show you those areas in which fear might have a hold. Ask God to remove that fear. Feel free to share with me or others in the fellowship that fear so that we may all be in prayer and fasting and vigil against it. I commit myself to each of you and Linda, and the men too. I commit to praying against fear. I h…a…t…e… it. My God hates it and He is giving me a zeal to come against it; not only for my sake or my husband’s sake but for the sake of my brothers and sisters. I have firmly decided that I want the abundant life that Jesus promised. Fear has no place in the life I want for myself or my children. It has no place in my restoration or my relationship with God. I want it gone and I know my God is working right now to break that yoke of bondage in us.

It’s like the story of the man who brought his son to the disciples (Mark 9), so that the demon would be cast out from his son. He cries out to Jesus, “If anything can be done, please save him!” How does Jesus reply? He says, “If I can? Everything is possible to him who believes.” The next verse (24) says “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!” Our faith is never perfect, and God understands this. And he makes a way, despite our unbelief. But we want to be people of faith, knowing that this pleases God. And we want to be free of unbelief, because it keeps us from living God’s best for us.

I love each of you and I thank you for the love and support I am shown. As I was reading God’s word this morning and praying for the men and women of the fellowship, I happened upon Psalm 71 and the Holy Spirit spoke to me in the following verses and told me to claim this and to share this because He desires others in this fellowship to pray and claim this same scripture (20-24): “Though you have made me see troubles many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. I will praise you for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel. My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you-I, whom you have redeemed. My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.” (Name of member requesting prayer this morning omitted), I read your post before I had a chance to write this and I can tell you that that scripture is for you especially sister. Receive it, you are redeemed.

True heart love to each of you…(Name Omitted)”

As I read the above testimony and considered all of what these awesome messages the Lord brought our way today, Deuteronomy 30:19-20 seems to sum it all up best, because it says This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. So it is my sincerest hope and prayer for everyone reading this, that you WILL TAKE POSSESSION of the power and promises of God as you live your lives for Jesus and stand for the restoration of your marriages and families; that you will NOT be afraid, because 2 Timothy 1:7 says For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Two very significant and important verses of wisdom and instruction for all of us to rely on as we stand for the restoration of our marriages are Proverbs 3:5-6, the meaning of which The Amplified Bible makes very clear, because it says Lean on, trust be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

Unfortunately, one of the most consistently harmful things I’ve seen men and women standing for marriage restoration do is lean on their own understanding, because that causes a lot of totally unnecessary problems and misery, and it ALWAYS makes our situations worse, and NEVER better. And we’ve really had some great life lessons about that in the fellowship in the past week through some awesome testimonies and praises revealing that reality for some prodigal spouses was far from that believed by their wives.

So we have to remember that the devil ALWAYS does his best to convince us that the very worst case scenario possible is reality; yet almost ALL of the time, nothing could be farther from the truth. As we’ve come to say it in the ministry, there are facts and there’s the truth, and no matter what the facts are, the only thing that counts is the truth and power of God’s Word. And since Satan always tries to make everything look so much worse than it is, we have to learn to avoid that pitfall by focusing on the positives and ignoring the negatives. And we all have to choose whether or not we’re going to magnify the things that glorify the Lord or the things that only tend to magnify and glorify Satan’s plan and purpose, which we certainly don’t want to do. So no matter what we see and hear, we have to TRUST the Lord with all of our hearts as we do our very best to acknowledge Him in all we do by walking in accordance with what the Word teaches. And THEN we have God’s assurance and promise that HE will make a way where there seems to be no way and that He WILL show us the way to go!

Therefore, we just can’t minimize the importance of understanding that what often “appears” to be a negative really isn’t…a very good reason to avoid the pitfall of leaning on our own understanding. So in addition to not wanting to discount the truth and power of God’s Word and that His thoughts and ways are not our thoughts and ways, because they are so much higher and different than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), and that God PROMISES to cause ALL THINGS to work together for our good when we love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), another good reason why we can’t afford to lean to our own understanding – is that more than likely, the explanation and understanding we come up with based on the facts, or what APPEAR to be the facts, will just about ALWAYS be wrong! And that’s why most of the FAM Fellowship members who have talked to me a few times have probably heard me say that it makes no sense to try to make sense of something that makes no sense!

Since learning to live by the power of the Holy Spirit instead of being in bondage to the control of our flesh and sinful nature is so important as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, it’s necessary to recognize when we’re being controlled by our flesh and sinful nature so we can overcome those natural tendencies and live and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. And since it’s not possible to consistently live in the power of the Holy Spirit without first understanding who He is, I strongly encourage everyone to watch the messages below from Dr. Charles Stanley, which come from a series of messages entitled Living in the Power of the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-23 identifies the fruit of the Spirit as follows: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. So when we experience contrary emotions, or act in a contrary manner, we’re obviously NOT living in the power of the Holy Spirit, which means we are being controlled by our flesh and sinful nature. And Matthew 22:36-40 says: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Based on that, when we walk and live in the power of the Holy Spirit, our thoughts and actions are God centered and more focused on meeting the needs of others than gratifying our own self-centered needs and desires. And one of the simplest measures for whether or not we’re living according to our flesh or walking and living through the power of the Holy Spirit is found in Romans 14:17, which says For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, So any time we struggle with righteousness, peace or joy, that’s a pretty good indication that we’re not operating in the power of the Holy Spirit.

And Since God IS love, we have to learn to love accordingly, especially since 1 John 4:8 says Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. That makes 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 one of the toughest standards by which to judge whether or not we’re living in the power of the Holy Spirit, because it says Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Ouch! If we’re honest, we ALL have to acknowledge that we usually fall far short of this standard, but it gives us something to strive for as we focus more on living and walking in the power of the Holy Spirit and overcoming the control of our flesh and sin nature. And 2 Timothy 1:7 (NJKV) tells us For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. So that tells us that when we are overcome with fear, doubt, dread, anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy, bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, a judgmental spirit, and other negative and destructive emotions, they’re born of our flesh and not the Holy Spirit that dwells within us.

Even though the battle between our flesh and sin nature and the power of the Holy Spirit for control in our lives is a matter of ongoing spiritual warfare, Ephesians 6:10-18 tells us how to be victorious in this battle. And 2 Corinthians 10:5 says We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And that’s the ONLY way we’ll ever overcome the bondage and control of our flesh and surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives, especially as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. And it’s not possible to do that without reading, studying and understanding what the Bible teaches. So the following verses are just a few that make the importance of walking and living in the power of the Holy Spirit as we stand for our marriages abundantly clear, as well as the blessings and power received when we do so:

John 3:6
Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.

John 6:63
The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.

Philippians 3:3
For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh—

Isaiah 57:15
For this is what the high and lofty One says— he who lives forever, whose name is holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.

Ezekiel 37:14
I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.’ “

John 14:16-18
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

Romans 8:3-5
For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

Romans 8:9
You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.

Romans 8:12-14
Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

Galatians 5:16-17 (NKJV)
I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.

Galatians 5:24-26
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Ephesians 2:1-5
As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

Ephesians 2:22
And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

2 Timothy 1:14
Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

Hebrews 12:9
Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

1 John 3:24
Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

1 John 4:12-13
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.

These messages, The Promise of The Father, from December 04, 2005, and The Mission of the Spirit, from December 11, 2005, from Charles Stanley explain the need we have for the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives as Christians, which is vitally important as we strive to overcome the control of our flesh as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. Once we truly understand the awesome power of the Holy Spirit, and that we have unrestricted access to it, we will most certainly be blessed and encouraged!

One of the most exciting and rewarding aspects of working in marriage restoration ministry is the opportunity to witness the changes God is making in the hearts and lives of the men and women He brings to FAM Ministries. Seeing the awesome transforming power of Jesus Christ at work really is an amazing and incredible experience, especially since most of our members are pretty lost and in a great deal of pain and distress when they first come to the ministry. But they’re just like the rest of us – foolish builders who built our homes and families, even our lives on sinking sand. Instead of building them on a foundation of solid rock by putting the words from Jesus into practice, we heard His words and didn’t take them to heart, much less put them into practice. So our lives became a living testimony of the truth and reliability of God’s Word, especially the parable of “The Wise and Foolish Builders”, from Matthew 7:24-27, which says:
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Since Luke 6:46 introduces the parable of “The Wise and Foolish Builders” with “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?, our goal is to focus on putting the Word of God into practice so we can reap the bounty of it’s harvest in our lives; particularly in the restoration of our marriages and families by rebuilding them on The Solid Rock – Jesus! Unfortunately, when we hear the Word and don’t PRACTICE the Word, we are deceived, which James 1:21-25 makes pretty clear by warning Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. So the good news is that we can change our situations and circumstances by putting our faith in Jesus Christ and the transforming power of His Word as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, families and lives. God is certainly true to His Word and He is more than able to bring it all to pass and HE WILL bring the restoration of our marriages to completion too if we just put our faith and confidence in Him and the power and truth of His Word as we PUT it into practice! And the following verses confirm that the completion of everything we want and stand for is possible through faith in Jesus Christ and obedience to His Word:

Acts 3:16
By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus’ name and the faith that comes through him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see.

James 2:22
You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.

1 John 2:5-6
But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

What a wonderful blessing it is to know exactly what Paul meant in Philippians 1:4-6, when he wrote In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. And I truly do know that, because the Lord has blessed us with so many wonderful men and women in this ministry, and I can’t help feeling like a proud mother many times when I see the personal growth of our members, especially when they so sincerely minister to each other, just as two of our ladies have done today by sharing a little of what God is doing in their lives. And I thank both ladies for permission to share their posts here on the public website, because what the Lord is doing in them is the same work He longs to do in all of us! So read the following messages from Jenn and Mindy and be blessed and encouraged as you remember to be WISE BUILDERS!

“Good morning everyone!

I think I am finally catching up now that I have had a few days of rest after my trip with my son. This trip, even though it was so wonderful to spend alone time with my son, also took a huge toll on me physically. However, yesterday as I was trying to function I clearly heard the Lord say, “I want to hear from you.” Due to my physical tiredness, I have been lacking in reading the word and praying. But when I heard his voice, I instantly started feeling rejuvenated.

This morning he led me to the book of James, chapter 1 and verse 25, which says “But if you keep looking steadily into gods perfect law- the law that sets you free and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” We need to keep in the word daily. I believe God was reminding me of that. Not only do we need to keep in the word, but we need to do what it says and pray without ceasing. God wants to hear from us – not only by him listening to us read his words, but by watching our actions as we try to implement his laws into our lives. If we back up a few verses in the book of James, he reiterates that in verse 22, which says “And remember, it is a message to obey, not just to listen to. If you don’t obey, you are only fooling yourself.” I personally do not want to be a fool anymore in my life. I was a fool to listen to Satan’s whispers that drew me away from God and away from my family. I know now that if I listen and obey Gods word, I have so much Joy that I am obeying my father. And out of that Joy comes peace. I want to live my life for God; not for just the moment, but for a LIFETIME. And he wants me to talk to him. God wants to hear me read his word and watch me walk that narrow path.

Have a blessed day…
Jenn”

“The root of ‘misfit’ has the basic meaning “miss”. “Miss the mark” or “go off the path.” In relationship to human behavior as determined by divine commandments, it refers to engaging in behavior that “misses” Yahweh’s standards. Thus, in most cases, it can be translated to “sin”.

I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt out of place; not included in the click, but I recently found my self feeling like I was the only human on the earth, though many walk by me and life seems so busy. But I realize that no man can feel our void. Even when I am lonely, I hear the Lord and He is not boring; quite funny in fact! Yet I still cry and hurt, and still miss. So I have really been thinking; if I completely trust God and truly believe, what in the world am I crying about? More tears – more blessings? Meaning, since I know God gives back for our tears, am I trying to earn myself more blessings? LOL I realized God grieves with us as Jesus did with Mary and Martha at Lazarus’ tomb. But God is not moved by tears, but by faith and action, BELIEVING, TESTIFYING, AND SHOWING IT IN OUR ACTIONS (OBEDIENCE). Now, don’t get me wrong; He will throw a golden nugget, as I call it, to get us back up – to move us along on His path.

Then I was thinking about how I always felt I did not belong; I was always wanting to fit in and be accepted – wanting that complete family; not realizing I am complete in Him. Well, I was just self centered; the ME ME ME. Truly, I was being moved by man and not God. I realized now that I was a people pleaser and not a God pleaser. But when it all comes down to it, who will I face once I die and re-open my eyes? Who really judges me that will count? I see now that everything I do is either for God or against Him. My decisions to forgive, hate, lie, judge, be angry and bitter, jealous, etc., are all either for Him or against Him. So I am saying “Lord, I get it now; Help me Please.” You see God loves a broken and contrite spirit. He can work with that, because at that point we are so down in the dumps that we say “Whatever, Lord”, without giving him lip. I really was a wild horse that needed to be tamed. I am so glad He is purging me. But please don’t pray “Purge me like hyssop; make me whiter than snow.” if you don’t mean it. He will do it.

I have pretty much been threw it all. I see now that it’s been for Him to testify and let people know God can and will deliver us. Nothing, I say NOTHING, is too hard for Him to fix. I thought I would die when my oldest daughter was molested; and then my son ended up in a mental hospital and I was told he has bi polar or schizophrenia. As a single mom who works and does everything without much help, it is a miracle I am still here! No joke! And that I’m not locked up in a mental ward myself! It’s just God’s grace! He truly is a husband/wife when we don’t have our spouse. He even helped me forgive my husband. And Boy was I angry when I was in the hospitals alone with my son – two daggers! Him and me. But the Lord purged it out. He will take our mind set and get it in line with His. We will see and feel as He does. We CAN forgive the abandonment, loneliness, adultery, betrayal, emotional/physical abuse, and rejection. BUT ONLY THROUGH JESUS, THE HOLY SPIRIT, AND OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN.

God will speak to you too, so this is for the one wanting to hear from God so badly. He will answer, but sometimes God plays hard to get. How long did you ignore Him?
He wants to know you are serious and you are not using Him just for your miracle; that you truly want your father and that relationship He so yearns to have with you. Think about this for a minute; we are made in His image. How do you feel when you are ignored by your spouse? Or when you waited all day to hear about their day and they come home and go to bed without a word, how do you feel? Or when you want to tell them something no one else knows and they brush you off, how do you feel? Well God has feelings too. It hurt me deeply when I thought about His feelings. Then for the longest time I thought that God is too busy and He isn’t personal; Gods too busy making scientists look stupid by changing Pluto to a star – the planet that no longer exists. But He showed me He is LOVE AND VERY PERSONAL. He created us for His pleasure and loves to spend time with us and bless us. I cannot go a day without talking to Him. Once you start, you truly cannot go back.

So I pray that all will take a closer look at our Father in Heaven, because He’s LOVE; really unconditional unshakable true love. We should look closely at our motives and ask Him to help us get right with Him and to stand for His Glory and for opportunities to witness to others about His amazing Grace, His Mercy, His forgiveness, His love that will blow their minds. I can truly say no one loves me more. I cursed my husband out and he took off. I cursed God and He held me until my anger was all gone. I ignored my husband and he took off looking for another. I ignored God and He stood by my side. My point is that God will never leave or forsake us. He will get our spouses right with Him, but we are first in line. Remember, how can we receive if we are not right with God or ready to receive. God is not in the destroying family business; He is in the Restoring family business, just like Isaiah 44:26 says: who carries out the words of his servants and fulfills the predictions of his messengers, who says of Jerusalem, ‘It shall be inhabited,’ of the towns of Judah, ‘They shall be built,’ and of their ruins, ‘I will restore them,’ And Isaiah 61:3 says and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

God Bless all. Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to really evaluate our relationship. Use this, my testimony, Lord to get your people right with you and healed. Heal them and then build them back up. Lord, renew their strength, joy, hope, and love. Through you, God, all is possible and we can trust as we trust unto you. Thank you, my Lord. Encourage all! Love your daughter, Mindy
The fire is awesome when you get out with out a burn mark or the smell of smoke – all for His Glory. Thanks, Jesus!!”

This past Sunday my pastor delivered a very interesting and thought provoking message about obedience and how it’s a boundary established by God for our own protection. I was totally fascinated and especially appreciated how it confirms so much of what I had already learned about the power and protection of obedience in our lives, particularly as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, and I’ve truly enjoyed my subsequent study about it. Despite the fact that it’s such a complex topic, with a lot of interesting and important applications, and probably not really possible to do justice in a SOF post, I’m still going to try, because it is so interesting, and hopefully quite liberating!

Deuteronomy 11> very clearly spells out why God gave us the Ten Commandments, and the benefits and dangers of obeying them or not. But the verses that are particularly interesting and encouraging to us as we stand for marriage restoration are Deuteronomy 11:8-15, which say Observe therefore all the commands I am giving you today, so that you may have the strength to go in and take over the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, and so that you may live long in the land that the LORD swore to your forefathers to give to them and their descendants, a land flowing with milk and honey. The land you are entering to take over is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you planted your seed and irrigated it by foot as in a vegetable garden. But the land you are crossing the Jordan to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven. It is a land the LORD your God cares for; the eyes of the LORD your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end. So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul-then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and oil. I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied. Wow! What more could we possibly want than that! But, God does leave it up to us to choose whether we want to struggle and toil by trying to do everything our own way and in our own strength instead of His, because Deuteronomy 11:26-28 says See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse-the blessing if you obey the commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today; the curse if you disobey the commands of the LORD your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known. So obedience is clearly NOT a matter of God’s need to control us and make our lives miserable and difficult as some seem to think. Quite the contrary. God established the Ten Commandments and all of the instruction provided in His Word for our BENEFIT; so we could enjoy His provision, His protection and the glorious blessings He longs to bestow on us. When we choose not to be obedient, WE are the ones who deprive and harm ourselves, because we’ve stepped outside of the CLEARLY DEFINED boundaries of our Promised Land, which He established in love for us for our own protection, where He can bless, protect and provide for us. And that’s demonstrated in Daniel 9:4-5, Which says I prayed to the LORD my God and confessed: “O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with all who love him and obey his commands, we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws. And then again, Nehemiah 1:5-6 says Then I said: “O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s house, have committed against you. So God’s Word and law is His covenant of love with us, and when we honor Him by honoring His Word and keeping His commands, WE are blessed, protected, defended, strengthened and provided for by God Himself! But when we are disobedient, WE are the ones who have removed ourselves from the shelter of His love and protection, as described in Deuteronomy 33:12, which says About Benjamin he said: “Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.” And that’s further confirmed by the following verses:

Jude 1:21 Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

Psalm 5:11
But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Psalm 37:28
For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;

Psalm 91:14
“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

Not only do we have the shelter and protection of God’s love when we obey Him, but we also have His Word that through obedience we can overcome every weapon of Satan and the world and every sinful act of man(or woman) that comes against us and our marriages, as revealed in the following verses:

2 Corinthians 10:4-6
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

1 John 5:1-5
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome
the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

1 John 5:18-21
We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

And we certainly need to carefully observe the warning in that last sentence as we stand for marriage restoration, because it’s way too easy to allow other things to become too important to us. And ANYTHING that is more important or demands and receives more of our time or attention than God, IS an idol, and that most definitely includes even the restoration of our marriages. In fact, that happens to be the very FIRST commandment as revealed in Deuteronomy 5:6-10, which says “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. “You shall have no other gods before me. “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. So God reserves punishment for those who hate Him, and NOT those who love Him! That’s why this should be liberating for those who still struggle with condemnation. As Romans 1:1-2 tells us Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. And John 15:7-10 tells us If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. And John 14:15-31 makes it clear that we don’t really love Jesus if we’re not willing to obey Him and that we obey Him BECAUSE we love Him, particularly the following verses:
15 “If you love me, you will obey what I command.
21 Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”
23-24 Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

Finally, Psalm 111:10 tells us The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise. So that’s another good reason for obedience, which Proverbs 4 spells out, especially verses 5-6, which say Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. And it’s not possible to consider the benefits and blessings of obedience to the Word of God and His commandments without studying Psalm 119, and the following verses are just a few that make it clear why:

Psalm 119:
1-2 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD. Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.
22 Remove from me scorn and contempt, for I keep your statutes.
24 Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors.
25-32 I am laid low in the dust; preserve my life according to your word. I recounted my ways and you answered me; teach me your decrees. Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
45-47 I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts. I will speak of your statutes before kings and will not be put to shame, for I delight in your commands because I love them.
75-78 I know, O LORD, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight. May the arrogant be put to shame for wronging me without cause; but I will meditate on your precepts.
80 May my heart be blameless toward your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.
86-88 All your commands are trustworthy; help me, for men persecute me without cause. They almost wiped me from the earth, but I have not forsaken your precepts. Preserve my life according to your love, and I will obey the statutes of your mouth.
91-94 Your laws endure to this day, for all things serve you. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life. Save me, for I am yours; I have sought out your precepts.
98-101 Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me. I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts. I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word.
104-105 I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
110 The wicked have set a snare for me, but I have not strayed from your precepts.
114 You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.
116-118 Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed. Uphold me, and I will be delivered; I will always have regard for your decrees. You reject all who stray from your decrees, for their deceitfulness is in vain.
130 The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.
133-135 Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. Redeem me from the oppression of men, that I may obey your precepts. Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees.
143-144 Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands are my delight. Your statutes are forever right; give me understanding that I may live.
149-156 Hear my voice in accordance with your love; preserve my life, O LORD, according to your laws. Those who devise wicked schemes are near, but they are far from your law. Yet you are near, O LORD, and all your commands are true. Long ago I learned from your statutes that you established them to last forever. Look upon my suffering and deliver me, for I have not forgotten your law. Defend my cause and redeem me; preserve my life according to your promise. Salvation is far from the wicked, for they do not seek out your decrees. Your compassion is great, O LORD; preserve my life according to your laws.
165-166 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble. I wait for your salvation, O LORD, and I follow your commands.
169-176 May my cry come before you, O LORD; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for your salvation, O LORD, and your law is my delight. Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.

Finally, the only way to make the point as effectively as my pastor did is to share the powerful real life illustration he used of how obedience to God’s Word literally serves as a boundary for our protection. On Saturday, the men in our church put up a chain link fence around his back yard. He has a small dog and three very young children (with another one on the way), and they live in the parsonage next to our church. And our church is not in a great neighborhood and it’s at the crossroads of some very busy streets. And the point he made is that even though his kids and the dog might not appreciate being hemmed in by the fence, it provides a boundary of safety for them, and that if they were able to get outside of the fence, they would be in danger and easy prey or at risk for all sorts of danger. Now that had an impact on me, especially as I applied it to so many situations that came to my mind. And I’m sure it will have a similar impact on others considering it. But one of the neatest things about that illustration I thought of is that if his kids or the dog DO get out, he’s going to go find them and bring them back, just as God does with us when we stray into areas of disobedience. And just like his kids and dog, once we’re back inside the boundaries of safety, we’ll be just as safe as if we’d never left them! So instead of letting the devil beat us up when we slip and fall, all we have to do is get back inside the boundaries of safety God provides for us in His Word and it will be just as if we’d never sinned or wandered away from the shield of His love and protection! In fact, God and all of heaven will be rejoicing when we’re found and come back home. And we know that based on Luke 15! And Isaiah 55 provides an awesome illustration of how God freely pardons us when we turn from our sin and mistakes because we love Him and want to follow Him in obedience to His Word! So instead of thinking of obedience as a cross to bear and some kind of burden that’s very difficult to carry, we need to praise God for His graciousness in providing us such a clearly defined and GUARANTEED roadmap to the life He promised each and every one of us in our own Promised Land, with every blessing, protection and provision therein! Because when we do that, we’ll truly understand the power and protection of obedience and we won’t be able to avoid being blessed and encouraged!

Regular visitors to the site know how excited I tend to get about God’s amazing faithfulness to confirm the messages He wants to get across to us, so I couldn’t resist sharing the following example of that posted yesterday on the ladies’ private website by one of the FAM Fellowship members! And Amy’s not the only one who has mentioned that they continue to hear messages about the importance of believing God and putting our faith in Him! And since that’s a message it’s not possible to get too much of as we stand against the gates of hell and the world for the restoration of our marriages, I appreciate Amy’s permission to share her message from yesterday, especially since it’s so good to see our members ministering to each other this way! In addition, I’m including the Psalms she refers to, so be blessed and encouraged as you read them and meditate on them, along with the following verses:

Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV)
‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’

Romans 8:28-31
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Proverbs 21:30-31
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD.

Isaiah 46:11
From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.

Mark 9:23 (NKJV)
Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

“This entire past week, not only have we been stressing and trying to focus more on the importance of Praise and thanksgiving, but also on belief. Belief that this victory is won. Belief that all of our prayers have ALREADY been answered.

Last night I was reading in Psalms 20 and 21, and I spent about 30 minutes studying. Then this morning at church, my pastor preached a message right from Psalms 20 and 21! Her entire message was about believing God. As she preached, I knew that this was not only confirmation for me, but for all of us as well. How amazing it is that just last night I was led to those exact Psalms and today, God expanded on them for me. My pastor also had us look back to 2 Samuel 10 to see what David was in the midst of when he wrote those Psalms. So today I encourage everyone to take a look at these two Psalms and allow God to speak to you as He did me last night and this morning. This message was meant for all of us!

And to take it a step further, I want to urge everyone again not to beg for restoration, but to BELIEVE it’s yours! God has heard your prayers; He knows the desires of your hearts. So today, praise God because He HAS answered your prayers! Last night as I was praying, I felt led to claim victory over Satan. And buddy, I did! Claim your victory, ladies and gentlemen! Satan has already been defeated! He is a liar! Don’t allow him to have any power over you or your marriage. Claim your victory! Know that this battle has already been won. Look ONLY at the work of God’s hand. I have even stopped paying attention to anything Satan tries to throw out there. He doesn’t deserve my time or attention…but God does. Lets not waste anymore time dwelling on what Satan has done. He’s over; he’s done; he can’t have you! Today I choose to believe my God! Join me.

Amy”

Psalm 20
May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. Selah
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests.
Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. O LORD, save the king! Answer us when we call!

Psalm 21
O LORD, the king rejoices in your strength. How great is his joy in the victories you give! You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah
You welcomed him with rich blessings and placed a crown of pure gold on his head.
He asked you for life, and you gave it to him—length of days, for ever and ever.
Through the victories you gave, his glory is great; you have bestowed on him splendor and majesty.
Surely you have granted him eternal blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence. For the king trusts in the LORD; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.
Your hand will lay hold on all your enemies; your right hand will seize your foes. At the time of your appearing you will make them like a fiery furnace. In his wrath the LORD will swallow them up, and his fire will consume them. You will destroy their descendants from the earth, their posterity from mankind. Though they plot evil against you and devise wicked schemes, they cannot succeed; for you will make them turn their backs when you aim at them with drawn bow. Be exalted, O LORD, in your strength; we will sing and praise your might.

One of the most heartbreaking experiences when ministering to men and women standing for the restoration of their marriages is seeing how often they really struggle to honestly and truly BELIEVE God and to take Him at His Word without doubt or question. When all else is said and done, everything comes down to whether or not we really BELIEVE God. Without that, what do we have, and what are we standing on? And if we believe ANYTHING God tells us, we have to believe EVERYTHING He tells us. Because He is either who He says He is and He can do what He says He can and WILL do, or He’s a liar. So we can NOT pick and choose what about God and His Word we want to accept and believe. We either have to take ALL of Him or NONE of Him. So I just want to share a little of what the Bible teaches us about who God is and what His Word reminds us HE WILL do for us, particularly as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, because we have to BELIEVE God to BELIEVE IN God. And without believing in God, we can’t have faith, and God said that without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please Him and that when we shrink back from living by faith, He is actually displeased with us. So today’s post contains just a few passages of scripture I hope help us understand how important it is to figure out what keeps us from really believing God; and why we some times find it a lot easier to believe the world and what we hear and see instead of the awesome and unmatched power and faithfulness of God, our Creator, who loves us with an everlasting and enduring love, and who wants nothing but HIS best for us! So as we read and meditate on the following passages of scripture, I hope and pray we will be blessed and encouraged and that our hearts and spirits will be touched by the power of the Holy Spirit as we are enlightened and transformed by a greater understanding of just who God is and that He is the ONLY one we CAN believe and just how important it is to believe Him and take Him at His Word!!!

There’s little doubt that Job is the one person in the Bible that might have had reasonable and justifiable cause to doubt God. But NO MATTER WHAT, he refused to give up on his belief that God would deliver him in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. So reading and studying the book of Job is a MUST for all of us as we stand against the rest of the world and the forces of hell for the restoration of our marriages. No matter how bad things get and no matter how hopeless they look, and no matter how discouraged we get, it’s not likely that any of us have experienced the heart break and loss suffered by Job. And I have NO DOUBT that if Job had not continued to hold onto his faith in God, no matter how bad things looked and no matter how discouraged he got, his outcome would have been very different and he would not provide the assurance we have to day that God WILL RESTORE what has been taken from us…IF WE BELIEVE HE WILL. But when reading Job, it’s VERY important NOT to miss the significance of Job 3:25, which says What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. Job’s fear and dread obviously reveals that he was not in fact the great man of faith he is often considered, which I believe explains why God allowed the devil to have his way in Job’s life, and that makes it abundantly clear why developing strong faith in God is a MUST as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. And what a powerful example and confirmation Job’s story gives us of Proverbs 18:20-21, which says From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Initially Job expected and spoke disaster into his life, but in the end he expected and spoke deliverance and restoration into his life, so we all need to pay a LOT more attention to the things we are speaking into existence, because whether we understand and believe it or not, we are doing exactly that!

Hebrews 10:38 tells us But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.” And then Hebrews 11:6 says And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. And we can NOT say we believe in God and have faith that He will restore our marriages when our words and actions say otherwise, because that’s just not possible based on the following verses:

Matthew 15:18
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’

Luke 6:45
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Romans 10:8-10
But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

God’s omnipotent power and the relationship between Jesus and the Word is established in John 1:1-4, which says In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.

God’s perfect plan and purpose, and His reasons for choosing us are clearly spelled out in Ephesians 1:3-12, which says Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And that’s further confirmed in 1 Peter 2:9, which says But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Malachi 2:1-17 (NASB) leaves NO doubt that God hates divorce and the lengths HE will go to defend the covenant of our marriages and the consequences for those who dishonor their marriage vows; “And now this commandment is for you, O priests. “If you do not listen, and if you do not take it to heart to give honor to My name,” says the LORD of hosts, “then I will send the curse upon you and I will curse your blessings; and indeed, I have cursed them already, because you are not taking it to heart.
“Behold, I am going to rebuke your offspring, and I will spread refuse on your faces, the refuse of your feasts; and you will be taken away with it. “Then you will know that I have sent this commandment to you, that My covenant may continue with Levi,” says the LORD of hosts. “My covenant with him was one of life and peace, and I gave them to him as an object of reverence; so he revered Me and stood in awe of My name. “True instruction was in his mouth and unrighteousness was not found on his lips; he walked with Me in peace and uprightness, and he turned many back from iniquity. “For the lips of a priest should preserve knowledge, and men should seek instruction from his mouth; for he is the messenger of the LORD of hosts.
“But as for you, you have turned aside from the way; you have caused many to stumble by the instruction; you have corrupted the covenant of Levi,” says the LORD of hosts. “So I also have made you despised and abased before all the people, just as you are not keeping My ways but are showing partiality in the instruction.
“Do we not all have one father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously each against his brother so as to profane the covenant of our fathers?
“Judah has dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the LORD which He loves and has married the daughter of a foreign god. “As for the man who does this, may the LORD cut off from the tents of Jacob everyone who awakes and answers, or who presents an offering to the LORD of hosts. “This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. “Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. “But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” You have wearied the LORD with your words Yet you say, “How have we wearied Him?” In that you say, “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and He delights in them,” or, “Where is the God of justice?” And for those who mistakenly believe this is “just Old Testament law” and no longer applicable because Jesus came to abolish and fulfill the law and specifically permitted divorce, 1 Peter 3:7 indicates otherwise, because it says Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. But the best evidence that such opinions are incorrect comes from Jesus Himself, who very specifically said the exact opposite in Matthew 5:17-18, which says “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. And contrary to the opinions otherwise, according to the Bible that has NOT happened yet, because Revelation 21:1 says Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.

And Isaiah 55 is a wonderful illustration of restoration and how God takes everything Satan intended for evil and turns it into something awesome for the glory and everlasting renown of Jesus Christ! And it promises us that God WILL do what His Word says He will do, because Isaiah 55:10-11 says As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. And Isaiah 46:11 leaves little doubt that God WILL do whatever it takes to accomplish His will, because it saysFrom the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do. That’s why we have to put our faith and confidence in the Word of God and HIS will and ability to bring it to pass! And Numbers 23:19 makes it VERY clear and confirms that God is NOT a liar and that He WILL do what He says He will do and that He does NOT change His mind, because it says God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? So when we doubt God will do exactly what His Word says He will do, we are in effect calling Him a liar! And, I for one, am not willing to call ALMIGHTY God a liar!

There’s certainly a whole lot more that could be written on this topic, but hopefully this is sufficient to help all of us understand that it is VITALLY important for us to really BELIEVE God as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, and that He WILL do exactly what His Word promises. And when we struggle with doubt or confusion we need to rely on the power of our words and the effect they have in our hearts, because Psalm 45:1 says My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer. So instead of giving voice to our doubts and fears, let’s focus on speaking the things we want into being; let’s speak life into our seemingly dead marriages by speaking of love and restoration and by speaking righteousness and holiness into our spouses’ lives. Let’s speak of the transforming and renewing power of God as we continually keep praises on our lips and thanksgiving in our hearts! And then there’s NO doubt we will begin to see the awesome power of God at work in our lives and marriages and be truly blessed and encouraged!

Wow! The Lord is on the move in our midst again, and there’s no doubt that it’s due to the understanding we now have of the awesome power released by praise and thanksgiving, which often tends to be overlooked as we stand for the restoration of our marriages! The Lord’s been revealing that to us over and over again as we’ve seen Him work in the lives of our members, and we certainly had amazing confirmation of that again after a post on the ladies site yesterday, which I’ll share below. But first I want to share just a few verses of scripture that help make it abundantly clear that praise and thanksgiving may well hold the key to victory as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

First, 1 Peter 2:9 makes it very clear that God saves and delivers us so we will declare the praises of our Lord and Savior, because it says But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. And Isaiah 55 is an awesome chapter that demonstrates exactly how that works! So any time we fail to declare the wonderful things God does for us, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem, we are withholding the praise intended for the glory of Jesus. And Psalm 22:3-4 (NJKV) explains why there’s so much power in praise, because it says But You are holy, Enthroned in the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in You; They trusted, and You delivered them. Obviously, the power of God literally inhabits our praises as His people! And there’s no more powerful example of why praise and thanksgiving is so important to us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages than in 2 Chronicles 20:20-23, which says Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.” After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: “Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever.” As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. Now that should be more than enough encouragement and motivation for all of us to CONTINUALLY sing praises to the Lord, with genuine and sincere thanksgiving in our hearts and on our lips! That’s why Philippians 4:4 tells us Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! God very obviously wants us to focus on the positives and not the negatives, which is confirmed in Philippians 4:6-8, which says Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. And then Colossians 4:2 says Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And when we put all of this together, it’s easy to see why the Lord has been moving so mightily in our midst and that’s why the following post by one of our members yesterday proved to be so powerful, and excellent advice and counsel:

“A lot of us here are really seeing God at work; I am seeing how God is REALLY speaking to a lot of us. God is moving here (Just as Diane said) and I want us to all be on alert and super watchful of what is going on around us in even the smallest of details, because things can very easily go unnoticed and we want to be able to praise God for every tiny little thing He does. We also must be watchful of those tests, because if we miss them, we might also miss the mark.

I have had SO much happening lately and I am just standing in awe at the power of God moving; not only in my life, but in the lives of everyone here. I want to share just a few things and ask you all to look at what is going on with your lives right now too. Ask God to show you anything you have missed!

I have told you about my house situation; living with unsupportive parents and brother. This is a major hindrance to me as far as my marriage goes, because my husband will not come here unless he absolutely has to. Last week I found a house which I love, but so many road blocks have come up and they all directly relate to getting into a house. Satan sure does not want us in our own home and I am so excited to know why. BUT I have seen God turn each and every road block around, crushing the devil’s plan, and using it for good.

And I had confirmation of answers to a couple of my recent prayers today. My husband told me that now he doesn’t know when his check is coming in. First it was Friday, then Monday, then by the end of the week. Well, since none of that got to me, I guess Satan said “Well fine, that didn’t work, now you’re not going to know at all when it’s coming.” My two prayers have been this; one – that my husband would seek support from me and two – that his faith and trust in God would grow through all of the battles he is facing. The first thing out of his mouth when he called today was ” Amy I need you to pray for me. Please pray God would deliver me from this situation.” HAHA! Do you see it?! Now here is what is so awesome. I was praying about the money thing this afternoon and immediately Marsha Burns’ words (Small Straws)for today popped in my head:

“March 6, 2007: Take advantage of a brief respite as you come into My presence for renewal and restoration. You will need to be refreshed before you launch into the next phase of your journey. You must be awake, alert and discerning in order to gain a full and gallant victory. Know that I am preparing you in ways that you are not yet aware of, for truly I have gone before you to make the crooked places straight, says the Lord. Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”

And I just laughed! When I first read that this morning I thought there would probably be a delay, figuring I would see my husband pull away or another roller coaster of emotions. But as I prayed and God reminded me of what I read this morning, I laughed, realizing that was it! But look at how God moved today. I haven’t seen this paycheck yet, but I KNOW its coming. And my husband sought me out to pray for him. Do you think he asked one of his buddies or the NCP for that? He turned to God a little bit this morning, just as I had asked. Even though I have yet to see the money, I can already see how God is turning this for good!

My point is that we are so quick to praise God when we see that right in your face awesome work of God. But what about all those little works that lead up to it? Are you watching for them? Look at every unimportant situation in your life and realize that He is there working. When you see it praise Him. When you see a test put before you, pass it! And then sit back and watch his blessings roll in.

We had that movement of God’s power sweeping through here just a short time ago. I see it beginning again and I want us all to be blessed by it, so…. Stand firm, take your positions, and the Lord will deliver you!

Amy”

And the following was my response to Amy’s post:
Response by Linda Wattu on March 7th, 2007 at 8:17 am
“Amy, you are SO right! We must always be LOOKING for the signs that God is working so we can give Him the praise and thanksgiving He deserves and wants! Don’t forget, if He can’t trust us to give Him praise, honor and glory in the little things, why should He expect us to do any better with the big things – and it is ALL about glory for Jesus Christ! So it stands to reason that the more we praise Him and use every situation to glorify His name, then the more God is going to give us to praise and give thanks for! That’s why I always encourage people to read Philippians 4 often and to put it into practice! That one chapter sure does hold a lot of the key to joyful and victorious Christian living! Thanks for sharing – and how perfect Marsha Burns’ word was for you today! Keep that wonderful, expectant, God glorifying attitude, Honey, and the devil will be afraid to come around you or your precious family! He hates to see Jesus getting the glory, so he will stop doing that which brings it to Him! If only we could all get that through our heads and into our hearts and spirits! Your breakthrough is just around the corner, so just hang in there!”

And the following response is from Rosalie, whose husband recently returned home very unexpectedly and suddenly:
Response by Rosalie on March 7th, 2007 at 9:19 am
“*smiles* AMEN sister!!! I struggled with the knowing part for the longest time until the Holy Spirit shared with me that I could plead and beg and pray for the longest time but if I didn’t believe and KNOW that God was able to do what he promises, then it’s like a mute point if you will.

When I first came home to an empty house and bed, I slept on my husband’s side as if to seek comfort and feel his presence. I was very hesitant to drive to the city where my husband worked for fear of seeing him and the NCP in his red truck. Well, God told me he didn’t give me a spirit of fear…. He asked me why I was sleeping on the wrong side of the bed… What if He brought my husband home in the middle of the night; where would he sleep? And God challenged me to pray every time I saw a red truck and praise HIM for the work He was doing. I did so reluctantly at first; then it seemed that the world was flooded with red trucks and I was laughing and praising God for the renewal of my husband’s relationship with Jesus, the work He was doing in him, and the restoration of my marriage. Then I started praising God for the work He was doing in the NCP’s heart and life and for the Christian witnesses He was sending to minister to her.

Amy, you are so precious to the Lord and thank you for your devotion to Him.

Heavenly Lord we thank you for your infinite mercy and grace. Lord we stand in amazement in all You do for us. Thank you Lord for fighting the fight for us. Help us to draw closer to You and wrap your arms of love around us, sustaining us through it all. Lord thank you for the work you are doing in (husband’s name omitted)heart and life. Thank you for the good man he is and how you are going to bless him and his family. Thank you Father that Amy’s family is able to see Jesus in Amy. Lord help them to seek your face and will for their own lives. AMEN”

And here’s my response to Rosalie’s awesome testimony:
Response by Linda Wattu on March 7th, 2007 at 11:05 am
“Rosalie, thank you SO much for sharing this, especially the “red truck story”! I can’t tell you how many of the members I’ve shared that with, because I know it was such a powerful tool against the work of the devil, and certainly made him run from you and your family! I’m sure he got scared every time you saw a red truck – and he didn’t want the NCP included in your prayers for sure! But you set an awesome example for all of us to follow and the Lord is blessing you for it. And I particularly want to thank you again for staying involved in the ministry; we greatly appreciate hearing from you and how the Lord has worked in your life and family.”

The reason for sharing this is to demonstrate the real and undeniable power of praise and thanksgiving, and LOOKING for the Lord’s hand at work in our situations, so I thank Amy for her permission to share what she wrote here. But the REST OF THE STORY is in all of the praise reports posted on the sites today or sent to me by email or conveyed by phone. And here are just a few of them:
1) One member’s wife sent him a message wishing him a happy birthday and said that she hoped all of his wishes came true, even though she knows that his greatest wish is the restoration of their marriage! That may not seem like much, but it’s a real big deal in light of the lack of communication they’ve had and the fact that his wife has moved to another state.

2) Another member’s wife didn’t show up for their first court hearing for the divorce she was very determined to get. And even though he doesn’t know why she didn’t show up or cancel the hearing, it’s still a praise report!

3) Another member’s husband just showed up at her parent’s home (where she’s living and where he feels very uncomfortable) and just hung out with her for several hours this morning!

4) Another woman’s husband brought her child support today for the first time without having to be asked for it (and he hasn’t been paying it much even then) and he actually hugged her with body contact for the first time since he left!

5) Another member, whose husband usually gives her the silent treatment, called her on the way home from work, and when he got a call which was presumably from the NCP and she asked if he needed to get that, he paused a minute and then said no and kept talking to her until she said she needed to get his dinner ready! And then at home tonight, after dinner, he started telling her about a medical emergency at work and they had another normal interchange of conversation!

6) And then another member who has recently had her relationship with her husband restored, even though he has not come home yet (he works in another state), said they had a disagreement when he was home this past weekend, but she apologized when she got home from church (no matter who was right or wrong), and he ended up staying over another night! And he has started giving her money, which he hasn’t done in a long time, and now he calls her a lot more, even several times a day! And she’s going to be getting two honor awards in an upcoming college awards program, and that after coming very close to giving up on her education!

There’s no doubt that God responds when we praise His name and give Him glory and honor for EVERYTHING He does for us; it just seems to release supernatural power like nothing else we say or do! And it seems to have a snowball effect! And when we read Matthew 25:14-30, The Parable of the Talents, we might have good reason to be just as concerned about what happens when we DON’T praise the Lord and give thanks for what He’s doing in our lives! So I hope these testimonies will provide the proof, if needed, that we all need to be a lot more focused on praise and thanksgiving, which just means looking at the power and promise of our Lord and savior instead of our situations and circumstances. And it’s not possible to do that without being blessed and encouraged or without finding a lot to give praise and thanksgiving for!

Even though it might sound like an over simplification, I am convinced that every struggle encountered when standing for the restoration of our marriages is caused by a lack of faith and confidence in the awesome power of God’s love and His will and purpose for our lives. And the sad thing is that while none of us like to struggle and while we all want to walk through this difficult time with the peace, strength and joy Jesus came to give us, way too many standers aren’t willing to do the one thing it takes to overcome a lack of faith and to fully understand the love, power, purpose an faithfulness of God. And no matter what else we do; no matter how much we pray, no matter how much we fast; no matter how hard we try and how determined we are, the ONLY way to have the faith and confidence we need to successfully stand for the restoration of our marriages NO MATTER WHAT, is to get very serious about studying and understanding the Word of God! And the Bible itself confirms that in Romans 10:17, which says Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

The more we study God’s Word, the more of it we remember and are able to call to our minds, which then illumines our understanding as we continue to read other passages of scripture, so it’s the Word itself that helps us understand it as we study it consistently. And when we truly understand the depth of God’s great love for us, and the awesome power of his mighty hand, and His everlasting faithfulness to bring His Word to pass, we WILL have a confidence and assurance that NOTHING can shake. But for some reason, it seems that a lot of people are strongly resistant to reading and studying the Bible on their own. And one thing I have seen WITHOUT EXCEPTION is that the people who do make a commitment to seriously study and understand the Bible are the ones who are transformed by its power and who see the Lord working in their lives so supernaturally.

Psalm 119:105 tells us Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. And Matthew 4:4 tells us that Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ “ So if we don’t know the words that come from the mouth of God, how can we expect to live on them? And since most of us don’t know or understand even a small portion of God’s Word, it’s no wonder that we’re so malnourished and puny when it comes to the strength needed to stand against the devil and the spiritual realm of wickedness as we fight for our marriages! And if we don’t know His Word, it’s no wonder we don’t know which way to go or what to do, because we’re left standing in the dark. Since EVERYTHING we need to VICTORIOUSLY stand for the restoration of our marriages can be found in our Bibles; perhaps we should ask ourselves why we’re so willing to look everywhere else for it and to everyone else willing to support and encourage us, and yet SO unwilling to seek what we need from the only source that really matters and actually holds the power and promise of all that we want and need.

Some of our favorite Bible verses make it clear that we have to trust God with ALL of our hearts, commit to doing things His way, acknowledge Him in ALL our ways, and lean not to our own understanding as we take every thought captive and make them obedient to Christ, just to mention a few. But how can we do any of that if we don’t know His ways and if we don’t understand the power of His love and His will and purpose for our lives? If we don’t KNOW is Word and ways and understand His eternal purpose for our lives, anything else we do is leaning on our own understanding, and quite often ends up being based on misunderstanding and misinterpretation of God’s Word and purpose. And that leads to deception, doubt, and discouragement, which are Satan’s 3D weapons and which are quite effective as he tries to persuade us that we’re fighting a losing battle. And if we don’t know the Word of God, we might not know that there are many verses that assure us that the battle we’re waging belongs to the Lord or that Romans 8:31 even says What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? And we might not know that Proverbs 18:30 even assures us that There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.

That’s why when I ask newcomers to the ministry about their Bible reading habits, it never ceases to amaze me how few actually read the Bible with a plan to read all of it; not even the New Testament. How can we live on every word that comes from the mouth of God without even reading them? Most people just read whatever they feel like reading or open the Bible to see where it opens to, or have some method that does little to help fully understand God’s Word enough for it to ever have the power it could in their lives and in the restoration of their marriages and families. I always ask people to start reading in Matthew and work their way through at whatever pace they are most comfortable with. But we have to start there and read through the New Testament and as we continue to read, God’s Word will start to come alive for us and in us. And if we can’t read and understand the King James version, then we need to read something we understand, because otherwise it’s not going to help us grow in our understanding of God’s Word. But I do NOT recommend reading paraphrased versions for regular reading, even though they may be helpful for clarification or to gain a different perspective. But it’s important for us to read the Word for ourselves and rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to help us understand it; we shouldn’t rely on someone else’s understanding or interpretation. And it’s always good to read from the Psalms and Proverbs every day if time permits. And a good plan for that is to read one chapter of Proverbs a day and five chapters of the Psalms a day; and then we’re reading them through every month or so. And one easy plan for that is to read the same Proverb as the day of the month – like today is the sixth, so read Proverbs 6. And then read the same Psalm, and four more chapters in multiples of thirty; for instance Psalm 6, Psalm 36, Psalm 66, etc. Nothing has the power to transform us in our walk and relationship with the Lord like reading and understanding the Bible. So I am VERY serious when I suggest that if we don’t have time for reading the Bible as we should, then we need to spend a lot less time on sites like this one and others and reading or talking to others about marriage restoration, because the ONLY sure way to the restoration of our marriages is having absolute faith and confidence in the power of God’s love and purpose for our lives, and we will NOT get that anywhere other than through the Word of God. And there is ALWAYS a VERY direct correlation between the peace and joy experienced in our lives and the amount of serious time we are spending in the Word of God. Since our shield is faith and our sword is the Word, and faith comes through hearing the Word, that is the key to winning the battle for the restoration of our marriages according to Ephesians 6:10-18 as follows:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message this morning, I Belong To God And He Loves Me – Part II, is an awesome message revealing just how important it is for us to know that God REALLY loves us and to believe in the power of His purpose to prevail in our lives, NO MATTER WHAT WE’RE GOING THROUGH! I especially love the reference she made to Psalm 45:1, which says My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king; my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer., and that our hearts are the tablets upon which our words are written! Oh if we could only REALLY grasp that and the power of our words, for good or evil; for life or death, just like Proverbs 18:20-21 says; From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. When we know the Word of God and understand His love for us and His power to bring every word from His mouth to pass, we’ll understand the power brought to bear on our circumstances when we speak those words to our mountains, especially when they’re written on the tablets of our hearts. And we can really see the importance of that as we stand for the restoration of our marriages in 2 Corinthians 3:3, which says You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. So listen and be blessed and encouraged!

Dear Lord, let us be a living letter from your beloved Son, Jesus Christ, written not with ink but with the power of your Holy Spirit, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts, especially the hearts of our beloved spouses as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Friday night’s FAM Chat revealed just what a stronghold self-condemnation is and how difficult it is to overcome, because overcoming attitudes of self-condemnation was the topic, but it ended up feeling a lot more like a spiritual wrestling match. And by the time it concluded, I have to admit to not being sure who won; even to the point of questioning the wisdom of choosing such a topic and whether that decision was led by the Lord or me. But God was ever so faithful to help overcome that concern on my part, because He so faithfully confirmed just about every point that was made in an effort to help those who are struggling to overcome issues of self-condemnation and the post I wrote about that last Friday, Overcoming Self-condemnation.

First, the following are just a few of the awesome Bible verses as they were shared by some of the members during Friday night’s FAM Chat:

John 3:16-18 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned.”

Exodus 4:14 when Moses was only looking at his weakness; “I’ve known about your weaknesses all along. I saw your lack of confidence, your proneness to put yourself down, the way you measure yourself against others. You think you’re nothing. But there’s no use trying to run away. I’ll never let you change the plans I made for you before you were even born. I’m not asking much of you. All you have to do is believe what I’ve promised, and act on it. Trust that Almighty Jehovah God is with you. Keep your eyes on me, not on your weaknesses.”

1John 3:18-20 I do not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth, This then is how I know that I belong to the truth and how I set my heart at rest in His presence whenever my heart condemns me. For God is greater than my heart and He knows everything.

Luke 8:11-15 “This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by PERSEVERING produce a crop.

Hebrews 6:18 By two unchangeable things His promise and His oath in which it is impossible for God ever to prove false or deceive me, I who have fled to Him for refuge have mighty indwelling strength and strong encouragement to grasp and hold fast the hope appointed for me and set before me.

Psalm 37:4, Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

1Samuel 12:22 The Lord will not forsake me for His great name’s sake, for it pleases Him to make me one of His people.

“Give thanks in all circumstances,” says the apostle Paul, “for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Some of the conclusions we reached were that we have to put ALL of our trust and faith in God and rely on His great and never failing love for us; that we had to find our own self worth and identity in who we are in Christ. And we concluded that this was something we could not help someone else do; that they would have to make the decision to do for themselves. And it was suggested that we need to be a lot less self focused and more mindful of praise and thanksgiving, even in our prayers. And we agreed that our relationship with the Lord has to be about seeking first His righteousness and His kingdom, and NOT just about having our marriages restored, and that we couldn’t get hung up on works, because that’s what leads to self-condemnation and discouragement.

Despite concerns that Satan might have won that round, the Lord went to great lengths to prove otherwise! First, the message from Charles Stanly yesterday was a perfect follow-up to Friday’s FAM Chat, because it was a study of Psalm 37, which he titled The Desires of Your Heart, and that just happened to get several honorable mentions in our chat! And since there’s SO much very important and wise counsel for everyone standing for marriage restoration in this message; I recommend sitting down with a notepad to take notes when watching it, and if you’re like me, you’ll watch it more than once! I always have to watch Dr. Stanley’s messages several times to get everything out of them! And it’s very important to watch this all the way to the end, because he makes some important closing remarks too. I was so excited about this message, that I already sent email messages to the members who were struggling to overcome self-condemnation yesterday and encouraged them to watch it! And one of them pointed out that the sermon outline provided for the message was very helpful for taking notes too.

And then I couldn’t believe Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message this morning, which was I Belong To God And He Loves Me – Part I! And this is an absolute MUST for anyone dealing with issues of self-condemnation and having a difficult time trusting God! There are some “ouches” in it, but sometimes we need a few ouches to get our attention and help us see the truth. And it’s another one well worth taking notes on when watching!

Then just to drive the point home a little stronger, today’s AWESOME Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin messages from Bill and Marsha Burns was forwarded to me by one of the members struggling with self-condemnation, with an acknowledgement that God was still trying to get his attention:

The Trumpet by Bill Burns
March 5, 2007: I will open the windows of heaven and begin to pour out the blessings that you have yearned for. I will pour out to the extent that these blessings will overtake you. I will bring the promise of the Spirit, the promise of life, and the promise of prosperity. I will give to you, My Bride, gifts that will prepare you for your Bridegroom. Gird up the loins of your faith and dare to believe even though your faith may have been diminished by the events and circumstances of the past. Rise up to the place of faith that you have known, for it is a seed within you that can sprout up and bring forth life again. I have given you living water and the seed of your faith shall grow to maturity and even reach beyond places it reached in the past. Dare to believe! Activate your faith! You are worthy to receive the treasurers of heaven, says the Lord.

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns
March 5, 2007: Beloved, you are on the very threshold of moving into new realms of glory. There have been seasons in your life where I came to you to strike a covenant with you in order to facilitate a new level of effectiveness in My kingdom. And, this is yet again a time of new or renewed covenant when you can choose to come up higher in kingdom purpose and responsibility. You must, however, quiet your own soul and quell your own ambitions in order to submit to My intentions, says the Lord.
Genesis 17:2 “And I will make My covenant between Me and you, and will multiply you exceedingly.”
You can visit Bill and Marsha Burns’ website, Spirit of Prophecy, where you can read their messages and sign up to receive them by email. And it’s really fun to go back and check out the archives too!

I can’t think of a better or more powerful way to make the case against self-condemnation as we stand for the restoration of our marriages than these amazing, right on point messages, which once again totally blow my mind with God’s never ending faithfulness to confirm the messages He’s trying to get across! And they really confirm that restoration can’t begin without first receiving and resting in the awesome and amazing power of God’s love! So I sure hope that everyone is blessed and encouraged by them and that the devil will lose his stronghold of self-condemnation in our midst once and for all!

It’s so sad to see men and women standing for marriage restoration under the burden of self-condemnation, because it kills, steals and destroys the victory, peace and joy Jesus came to give us. And Romans 8:1-2 specifically says Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. However we can’t deny the apparent conflict between the requirement for obedience to receive all of the blessings promised in God’s Word and the idea that we shouldn’t feel like failures when we’re unable to attain the high mark of perfection. So it’s important to understand the Bible verses indicating that God knows that we’re NOT perfect, and that it’s an ongoing struggle to overcome our human weakness as we strive to walk in faith and obedience while we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

Since Paul wrote most of the New Testament and is certainly considered a great man of God, reading 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 is a good place to begin understanding that God can actually be glorified in our weakness, because it says Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. And it’s in times of our greatest weakness and trials that we tend to recognize that we can’t do what we have to do without God, so we call on Him and rely on HIS power to get us through. And then His name is glorified when we make it through in HIS strength and not ours. In the same way we wouldn’t need a Savior if we weren’t sinners and there wasn’t a place called hell; we wouldn’t need God’s grace and power if we were always strong and perfect. So we need to stop putting ourselves under condemnation because of our human shortcomings and failures instead of recognizing them as opportunities for Jesus to be glorified as we rely on HIS grace, strength, and power to overcome them. And Hebrews 7:28 even says For the law appoints as high priests men who are weak; but the oath, which came after the law, appointed the Son, who has been made perfect forever. Obviously, God does not believe we are perfect or that we can even attain it in and of ourselves. That’s why we have to turn to our Lord and Savior when we are weak and when we struggle with our walk as Christians, because Hebrews 10:13-14 says Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. And 2 Samuel 22:33 very clearly says It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. Unfortunately, when we take on attitudes of self-condemnation, we are taking the focus off of Jesus, and putting it on ourselves, and ignoring Philippians 3:12, which says Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

So that brings us to the inevitable question of why Christ Jesus “took hold” of us, and when we understand that, we will go a long way toward overcoming self-condemnation. The root of self-condemnation is “self”, because we have taken our focus off of the Lord and His glory, power and purpose, and put it squarely on ourselves. Yet Ephesians 1:6-14 makes it VERY clear that we are CHOSEN by God for the praise and glory of Jesus Christ; that EVERYTHING that happens is preordained by God, when the time is right, for His praise and glory. God wants us to have an intimate love relationship with His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, and He wants us to walk in the power of His Holy Spirit so others are led into the same relationship with Jesus. But when we magnify our human frailties instead of the awesome glory and power of Jesus, we can’t be the vessels we’re called to be for the purpose of drawing others into His kingdom. So the bottom line is exactly what Rick Warren says; it’s NOT about us! But we tend to make it all about us, and the reason we do that is because we don’t understand obedience; we don’t understand what it really means to trust and obey. We tend to see obedience as a means to an end; in our case it’s usually the means by which we think we can achieve the restoration of our marriages. So when we have a hard time taking God at His Word and believing that He IS restoring our marriages, or when we fail to walk out the principles of marriage restoration according to what the Bible teaches, we get discouraged and down on ourselves, because we think that means that our marriages aren’t going to be restored; that we blew it, so now God won’t restore our marriages! What a snare of the devil that kind of thinking is! It just sets us up to fail, because it inadvertently rests the ability to get what we want in us and everything we do in that endeavor is totally fruitless and useless, because our motivation to trust and obey is not for the praise and glory of Jesus Christ and the furtherance of His kingdom, but for our own desire for marriage restoration. And James 4:3 makes no bones about that, because it says When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. And 1 Corinthians 4:5 even says Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

So it’s obvious that not only is faith and obedience important as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, but our motives are even MORE important! And the ONLY motive for obedience that pleases God and releases the supernatural power we need in our situations is spelled out very clearly in the following verses:

John 14:23
Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love
him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.

John 14:21
Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

1 John 2:5
But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him:

Unfortunately it’s easy to slip into thinking of obedience as a means to the restoration of our marriages, but that’s not true. Yes, all of the verses we usually refer to about trusting God with all our hearts, acknowledging Him in all our ways and committing to doing things HIS way are important, but we can’t take those out of the context of obedience being motivated by our love for Jesus as our Lord and Savior. That’s why it is so important to keep things in the right order, and Jesus said the FIRST thing is to love God with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength; which means not putting ANY other gods or idols before Him, including our marriages, spouses or even the restoration of our marriages. And when we love Him that way, we will obey Him because we love him and want to please Him, and when our obedience is motivated by genuine trust and love, we will be blessed with every promise and provision found in God’s Word. And when we love Jesus, we will also love the Word, because John 1:1-4 tells us In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. And it’s probably not insignificant to note that most of the time we put ourselves under condemnation, it’s due to a lack of faith and knowledge of what the Bible teaches, which is why Romans 10:17 is so important, because it says Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. And another very important reason to study our Bibles seriously as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is because we are in the spiritual battle of our lives, and 2Corinthians 10:4-5 tells us The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. So the only way to overcome attitudes of self-condemnation is to spend quality time studying the Bible, because that’s the only way to truly obey God and have His love made complete in us and to know His Word in order to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. And one thing we can all be sure of; the more intimate our walk is with the Lord, the less condemnation we’ll feel and the more blessed and encouraged we’ll be!