While most of us in the FAM Fellowship are practically speechless as we witness the miraculous power of God at work in the lives and marriages of our members, there are some VERY important lessons to learn from what we’re seeing take place in our midst. And despite not being able to give them all the in depth attention they merit, I want to highlight three of them.

First, each of our members who have seen the amazing breakthroughs and even restored relationships and marriages, made a determined decision to be obedient to the one and ONLY clear and specific instruction we have from God about what we’re supposed to do when our spouses want to leave us. And that’s the instruction in 1 Corinthians 7:15, which says But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. Even though it’s contrary to the teaching most prevalent in today’s churches, I have NO doubt that does NOT mean that we’re free to just forget about our spouses and get on with our lives by marrying someone else. To accept that means we have to ignore the very next verse; assuming that even though it’s there, it doesn’t really mean anything, because it says How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? And what could we be saving them from if not the consequences and devastation the Bible teaches result from dishonoring our marriage vows and failing to live with each other in accordance with God’s commands. It also means that we don’t take Malachi 2:10-17 or 1 Peter 3:7 seriously; implying that even though that’s what God wrote, that’s not what He really meant. Well, I happen to think God absolutely means EVERY Word written in the Bible and I believe Jesus meant it literally when He said that man does not live by bread alone but by EVERY word that comes from the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4! And Isaiah 55:8-11 assures us that His thoughts and ways are not our thoughts and ways and that His words do not return void or empty,; that they accomplish what He desires and they achieve the purpose for which He sent them. So when we refuse to accept the world’s interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:15 and stand in faith for the restoration of our marriages, relying on the supernatural power of God Almighty, we are in very good company, because OUR thoughts and ways are lining up with the Word of God instead of the way of the world! BUT we aren’t TRULY standing in accordance with the WISDOM and Word of God UNLESS we let our spouses depart when they want to leave, and seek to live in peace with them and ourselves. And if the events of the past couple of weeks in this ministry have taught us anything, proven it in fact, it’s how faithful and quick the Lord is to respond and act on our behalf when we are obedient to His instruction and LET OUR SPOUSES GO! And letting them go does NOT mean we’re giving up on our marriages! Quite the contrary; it’s recognizing that there is NOTHING we can do to change our spouses’ hearts or minds, but that when we ACT in accordance with what God’s Word tells us, we can rest in ABSOLUTE confidence that He will then bring the restoration of our marriages to pass, because He HATES divorce and He promises to REPAY the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:23-27)! And that’s ACTIVE faith!

Then another VERY important principle we’re seeing at work in the ministry was well expressed by one of the FAM members who recently posted the following message on the men’s private site:

God is working and what rejoicing there will be!! I was thinking this morning how easy it is to see the hope in others’ marriage restoration but how we sometimes close our eyes and not focus on what God is doing in our own marriages. How plain it was for me to see the work God is doing in Peter’s restoration or Don’s – even though Don and Peter were reluctant to get too excited about the responses of their spouses. So I had to stop and ask forgiveness this morning for not giving God glory for what He is doing in my own restoration process. Yesterday I had emailed my wife to tell her Happy Birthday and that I had tried to arrange a massage for her but because of the distance it just didn’t work out yet. Anyway, she emailed me back – which she didn’t have to do. The plot thickens! She told me that one of her patience had died yesterday but she had spent time talking to the wife. She told me that they had a really good talk and that the couple had been married for 72 years. At first I overlooked that comment but then God shook me and said – don’t you get it? I am working here!! That was no coincidence that I hooked her up with this woman. Now, I know nothing about the woman’s spiritual life but I do know that God was using her regardless. Normally I would not share this as a praise because I would not have seen it as that. So my point is, as easy as it is to recognize God working in other’s situations, I pray that each of us will be mindful of the “little” things God is trying to show us in our own stand. God does not give false hope; that comes from the enemy. So we should give thanks for all and any confirmation/affirmation that He gives us as we stand for Him and our marriages. May God bless you all and continue to grow you in the Spirit.

It’s no surprise that Dan’s post received quite a bit of positive and appreciative response from the other members, because for some reason it IS so much easier to see what God is doing in someone else’s lives than our own, so we really do need to start LOOKING for His hand at work in the restoration of our marriages! After all Colossians 4:2 tells us Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And in Matthew 9:29, Jesus told us …”According to your faith will it be done to you” So we have to literally change our mindset from looking for the negatives and accepting them as truth instead of mere facts, giving them a lot more weight than they merit, to looking for and giving thanks for the positives, NO matter how small or insignificant they may seem! When we honestly understand and believe that marriage restoration IS God’s will and plan, and realize that There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD., as Proverbs 21:30 tells us, then we will start looking for the evidence that confirms and affirms that, just like Dan said! And that’s ACTIVE faith!

The third principle we’ve seen so strongly affirmed in the ministry, especially over the past week, is how important it is to share the word of our testimonies and praise reports with others, and to realize that God is not working in our lives just to make us feel good. Everything God does is ultimately for the glory of His Son, Jesus Christ, and when we realize that God wants to use us and the work He is doing in and through us to minister to others in similar situations and start doing that, we release God’s supernatural power as little else seems to do. And the following stats are the best evidence of that. There are currently 56 registered FAM Fellowship members, but only 21 members have posted their information to be included on our prayer list, and out of those, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, the ones who are the most active on the sites, faithfully supporting and ministering to the other members through words of encouragement and prayers, have ALL seen encouraging changes in their relationships with their spouses, and several have had very significant breakthroughs in the past couple of weeks, including one totally unexpected restoration when a husband just came home. And I fully expect to hear at least two or three more restored marriage testimonies in the coming weeks! So, even though it is often used in regard to tithes and offerings, the meaning of Luke 6:38 is MUCH broader, saying Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” And there’s NO doubt we’ve seen that proven in the FAM Fellowship in the past couple of weeks! So if someone comes to a marriage restoration ministry just for what they can get out of it, they will probably be VERY disappointed. But when we get involved in ministries so we can minister to others, and when we have a genuine desire to live for the glory of our Lord and Savior, we WILL se GREAT and MIGHTY things, which we do not and can not know or understand! And the following testimony posted by one of our members (name withheld) this morning, certainly illustrates the power and promise of ACTIVE faith we’ve witnessed the past week or so! So read it, learn from it, and be blessed and encouraged by it!

“Yep, you’re right, it’s another praise report. As most of you know, I am a prodigal turned stander and have been standing for 6 years. However, out of those 6 years, I have only been standing properly for about a year.
On January 1st of THIS YEAR, my husband declared that he had feelings for a co-worker. As a prodigal with no room to judge, I immediately gave him my forgiveness and he was floored; thanking me for showing him mercy. I reminded him that my mercy was God’s mercy and since that time, I have seen significant softening in my husband’s heart towards me. I posted a praise report several weeks ago after my husband complimented me, and I am reporting now that he is continuing to praise me; thanking me for how well I take care of him; calling me a good and godly woman. I couldn’t ask for a greater compliment. We all want to be men and women of God and we want that affirmation from our families. Praise God, because not only has my husband begun praising me, but the physical affection is returning. The other night, I got a back rub for the first time in 6 years! My husband has been dancing with me as he used to do in the beginning of our marriage and he now tucks me in at night and kisses the top of my head. He has even agreed to take over the finances because he doesn’t want me to be overwhelmed.
Two and a half years ago I gave my engagement ring to a friend as a symbol to God that I was surrendering my marriage to Him and as an expression that I would put God first in my life. Lately, I have had it in my heart to get my ring back and after consulting some very wise ladies, I did so. But I was not prepared for what happened when I went to visit my friend, who I had not seen for over a year. She and I had gone to the same church; however, neither she nor the pastor agreed with my stand. They thought I was not reading the handwriting on the wall and that I should give up. Well, she saw God’s light in me; she saw the joy I had because of my relationship with God, which was a testimony in itself, because I had suffered deep sadness in the past. As a result of my sharing with her my own stand and also sharing with her about the FAM fellowship, she asked me if I would be willing to give my testimony before the pastor and the entire church-and this before my restoration is made completely manifested! She also asked me if I would come and do a day or weekend seminar with the women about faith, the biblical principles of restoration and what it means to be a surrendered wife-PRAISE BE TO GOD!!!!
After reflecting on that experience, I came to the conclusion that I could not wait for the moment when my husband tells me that he wants to renew our vows, before sharing my praise with this fellowship. I declare the truth of God that he is restoring my marriage right now and it is my prayer that my husband and I will renew our vows this summer after having God work to renew our physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy. I now have my engagement ring on my finger, and I have written a love note to my husband today letting him know that I had dishonored the promise of love with which I received that ring. I affirmed in my note that it is a new day and that I cherish that promise, that love and the man who offered it to me. I also let him know that I value my own promise of love for him. I trust God that as I continue to praise him for his commitment to my husband and me, my restoration is soon coming. As Marsha Burns said in her message…I continue to praise and thank God for those small openings and I trust that very soon the dam will break and my husband and I will again lay complete claim to each other with God being the center of who we are and how we live.
I thank God for delivering me from the darkness of my sin; the darkness of the abuse I both suffered and afflicted on others. I thank God for his gift of joy, which is not dependent on the restoration of my marriage. My joy comes from being personally and intimately loved by my God. I’m crying right now because as Psalm 116:12 says, “How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?” The next 2 verses have the answer; “I will lift up the cup of salvation for others to see…I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.”
Everyone, I want to tell you that this is not just about our marriages and families being healed. We all need to get it deep within ourselves that God delights in us and rejoices over us. It’s about being made whole and complete by the love of God and seeing how our wholeness translates into our marriages and families and to others who are hurting and need that same relationship with God; people who need hope. I can’t bear the thought that others are moving throughout life without the love and hope of God. Imagine how God feels then. As God restores us personally and moves to restore our families, our mission field is before us. We are all called to move among believers and unbelievers, sharing our incredible testimony and praise. So I pray that I will get into that regular habit of praising him.”

Every day, often many times a day, I thank God for the wonderful Christian men and women He has sent to FAM Ministries and for the fellowship and love we have one for another. We are also truly blessed by the wisdom and talents of many of our members as well! The following “Reflection from Dan”, which he recently posted on the men’s private site, is a very good example of that and totally confirms the following verses just to mention a few:

John 15:5
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

John 1:1-4
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.

Deuteronomy 8:3
He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

Psalm 1119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

1 Peter 4:11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Corinthians 1:17
For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with words of human wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

The above verses of scripture reveal some very powerful principles for all of us to keep in mind as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and offer and receive words of encouragement and support for and from others, so be blessed and encouraged by Dan’s reflections and prayer, and my response as follows!

Reflecting on our chat Friday night and the sermons I have heard this weekend, I have done some pondering – which sometimes gets me into trouble. For what it is worth, I would like to share my ponderances. (Obviously a made up word!)

As we stand for our marriages it is important to give support and encouragement to others and to receive it from others who understand our situations. God blesses me everyday with the individual posts on this site. This Friday night’s chat, like most of the chats, was an assurance that standing for my marriage is what God’s plan is for me. However, my point today is, using a quote I heard on TV this morning, we have to be able to nurture ourselves because if we wait on someone else to feed us we may die!! We have to believe that God will restore and heal our marriages. The encouragement and support of others will never be enough if we don’t trust and believe what God tells us in His Word.

We can do that by reading and understanding the Word of God. If we use the Bible as the guide we will know what God’s plan is for us and we can trust Him to guide and direct us according to His plan. By putting our dependence on others to lift us and keep us going, we do not truly believe God for His faithfulness. So, although encouragement and support from others can certainly be a blessing to us, everything we need comes from God and His Word. Others may not always be available to us when we need them most but God is always there and will never forsake or leave us. We also will not receive advice that is not rooted in His Word.

I guess some of this stems from a correspondence last week that made me stop and think about what I was sharing with others and what was being shared with me. It can be scary the influences people can have over us that are not from God. I don’t think I am paranoid but the enemy will use anything and anyone to attack us. So I had to really step back and check to make sure my thoughts and actions are anchored in the Lord.

Bless you all for the inspiration that you are to me.

Lord, I pray and lift up this group of wonderful people who are willing to support and encourage each other in our marriage situations. Use the words that are shared to reinforce what You speak about marriage and may we closely anchor our words with the truth from the scriptures. Father help us to have a deeper understanding of Your Word and a growing intimacy with You so that we can totally and undeniably surrender every thought and action over to You. Continue to use each of us according to Your plans that we may glorify and honor You in the words that we speak to others. Help us to band together in mutual agreement that You are a God of restoration and healing and that the enemy will not destroy what You have brought together. My sincere prayer is that each of us and our spouses will have victory in You and that will be the ultimate way that we can glorify and honor You by sharing our powerful testimonies. In the Name of Jesus, Amen

Dan, thank you so much for reminding us that ALL of our hope and expectancy HAS to come from the Lord, and HIM alone (1 Timothy4:10! We can not rely on man to meet our needs or to hold us up. As you have said, those we depend on won’t always be around when we need them, especially after our marriages are restored. So we MUST develop total dependence on the Lord. And how right you are that EVERYTHING we take into our hearts, minds and spirits has to come from the Word of God. The Bible tells us to guard our ear gates and our eye gates, and that’s just because of what you experienced. Satan will rarely come to us in his true colors and in an obvious form. Instead he usually sends us distractions and temptations in the form of something that takes advantage of our good and God glorifying qualities. Just like the Lord can turn ALL things to good (Romans 8:28), Satan can twist and pervert just about anything for his wicked and destructive purposes (John 10:10). So we must always be alert, because he is prowling around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8)! The Bible warns us not to take the counsel of the Ungodly (Psalm 1:1), so we do need to limit and restrict even the encouragement and support we
receive to those who will keep it firmly grounded in the written Word of God. That’s
the source of our power (Hebrews 1:3)and the weapon of our warfare (2 Corinthians 10:4-5 and Ephesians 6:17)! So thank you for sharing your
wisdom and “ponderances”! And, as you are probably not too surprised to hear, I will
be sharing it in SOF too!

So much power has been moving through this ministry in the past week that we’re all standing in total awe and amazement! In addition to having one marriage restored very suddenly and unexpectedly last week, there have also been major breakthroughs for at least six other FAM Fellowship members since then! FAM Chat last Friday night was a total blast, and we were all so filled with an inexplicable sense of anticipation and expectation that we were almost giddy! An now we’re all blown away to see how that has proven to be so true! It’s like a consuming fire has started spreading through the ministry and we’re just seeing confirmation all over the place! So we want to thank our Lord and Savior for every blessing and every miracle and for the awesome work of restoration we see Him doing in our midst.

This morning one of the ladies in the fellowship called and was very excited because of Marsha Burn’s’ Small Straws and how it confirms exactly what we’re seeing in the ministry now. And then two other members sent emails referring to another ministry’s message for tomorrow since it’s a total confirmation of what we’ve seen in the ministry and what so much of our conversations over the past few days have been about. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24 seems to sum it all up pretty well, because it says Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit’s fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
AMEN! He WILL do it and we are seeing Him do it! And just to share a little of the excitement among the fellowship members, here’s a post from Jenn, which she posted this afternoon, having no idea I already intended to use Marsha Burns’ Small Straws message in my post today! And I’m pretty sure there’s no way to read it without being very blessed and encouraged!

“I can’t even begin to tell you the incredible peace that God is giving me; not only in my situation, but in all of our marriages. Alex told me last night that not only does she hear peace in my voice, but also Joy. I am truly so happy right now, and I feel the spirit saying to me that this joy is for all of us. I can honestly say that I am happier today than I have been in YEARS. I am standing in awe.

I have been without internet service for a couple of days, so when I was talking to Linda and Alex about some of the praise reports, and then when I actually signed online to finally read them, I was just speechless. God is moving! Just as I posted earlier this year and as I heard the Lord speak to me again last night, as I shared with Alex; He told me Year of Jubilee.

I just read Marsha Burns’ Small straws, and guess what…here is what she wrote:
February 26, 2007: Your breakthroughs will come at first like a small leak in a big dam, but eventually will wipe out the entire dam — every hindrance that restricts the flow of your blessings. Watch for the little things that indicate breakthrough and praise Me for them, says the Lord. Your praise will widen the gap and bring forth the abundance as your faith gains momentum.
James 1:5-8 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double–minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Then I read Bill Burns, and he is also right in line with what God is doing:
February 26, 2007: The Lord says that everything will be okay in spite of the harassment from the devil. The promises that I have given you will bring you into a time of the recovery of all things. What things? All things that you have lost, whether it be your faith, your desire to serve Me, your closeness to Me, your knowledge of Me, the prosperity that I have spoken of, health in your body or your strength — all things that you have lost. You are coming into a season of promise, which will bring the recovery of all things that the enemy has taken. Only believe and move forward in this season with faith and your eyes fixed wholly upon Me, for I am the Lord of Glory.

We are definitely praising right now and we cannot stop. This is the direction of worship that God wants us to be on.

Here is a link to Bill Burns Prophetic writing for 2007. God is doing what he said he was going to do.”

Alex posted this awesome prayer on the ladies’ private site today and it’s just too good not to share, especially since we have seen the Lord’s hand moving so mightily in our midst in the past week! And this is just the beginning of the great and mighty work He’s doing as we continue to cry out to Him! So be blessed and encouraged; here’s Alex’s post and prayer:

With recent prayer request, I have really felt a need to pray for our prodigals and their non-covenant partners. Most of this prayer comes from the Psalms, particularly 116, 122, 125, 126, 143, 144. The word is really our weapon. I firmly believe that if we will use his word, along with praise and faith in what we are claiming, we will see some victories in the lives of our loved ones in the coming weeks. I believe that he wants to move and act right now but he is searching our hearts to see if we will be people of faith and truly BELIEVE in his covenant promises.

Father, hear our prayers as we intercede for our wayward spouses and for those who would seek to lure our spouses away from their covenant marriages. We pray for your mercy on them, that you would not bring them into judgment. The enemy pursues them and crushes them to the ground, their spirits grow faint. Lord, on their behalf, we spread out our hands to you and ask that you answer us quickly. Lord, heal their hearts which are now dismayed, strenghten their frames. Let them consider the good you have done and will do for them. Do not hide your face from them. Do not let them be like those who go down into the pit. Let the morning bring word to their spirits of your unfailing love and cause them to put their trust and hope in you. Show them the way that they should go, lift up their souls. Rescue them from their enemies God, hide them in you. Teach them to do your will, may your good Spirit lead them on level ground. For your name’s sake, preserve their lives and bring them out of trouble that they may praise you and make your glory known to others. As we are one with our spouses, we declare that they are your servants, just as we are. Your word promises that you will show unfailing love to your servants. Be for our prodigals and for the adulterers a fortress, a stronghold and a deliverer. Be their shield and refuge, subdue the enemy in their lives. Part your heavens Lord and come down! Touch the mountains that hinder restoration and cause them to be removed! Send forth lightning and scatter their enemies. Reach down your hand from on high to deliver and rescue them from the mighty waters, from the hands of those who are full of lies. Lord, let them have a new song for you conceived in their hearts, give them victory over their enemy, the devil. Let them give thanks for their children who you will make to be like well-nurtured plants and pillars. Let their households be filled with every provision when they are restored to you and their loved ones. Lord, we declare and claim your word which says there will no longer be any breaching of walls, no going into captivity, no cry of distress. Instead Lord, we will be blessed and will call ourselves blessed. Your word says that you will uphold all who fall. Lord, we trust that those in sin will look to you and you will give them their food at the proper time. Open your hand and satisfy the desires of our hearts. Be loving to them for they are the works of your hands. We ask that you would move their hearts to cry out to you, that you would come near to them, causing them to fear you properly. Let their hearts not be drawn to evil, do not let them take part in wicked deeds. Let their eyes be fixed on you. Keep them from the snares and traps of the enemy. Let them pass by in safety. Keep them from evil men and protect them from violence. Do not let the desires of the wicked succeed. We trust and believe Lord that you will uphold our prayers. We ask that you grant us all a faith that is pleasing to you. Let the night become light around them by making your truth known to them in an inescapable way. Hem them in so that they have no protection against your truth. Be gentle but unyielding in convicting them of their sin. As you make them aware of their sin, make them even more aware of your great love for them. Strenghten them to believe and understand that you are a God of compassion and mercy. Turn their hearts to want the same good things for themselves that you desire for them. Fulfill your purposes for them, do not abandon the works of your hands. Your word says that you will vindicate your people, that you will have compassion on your servants. We thank you for that word Lord. We are comforted in the knowledge that you will do all of this and more for your people. Clothe our prodigals with salvation and cause them to sing for joy! Let us live with our spouses in unity! Your word says that with you there is forgiveness and we ask that you would forgive our wayward spouses and those they are in adultery with. Lord, we declare that in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, you have freed our spouses from the cords of the wicked. We declare that you are building our restoration houses upon your word and your plans. We thank you that you do not sleep but remain watchful over us. We receive your mercy with gratitude. We declare that our spouses have been delivered of the raging waters that would have swept them away. They have escaped like a bird out of the fowler’s snare, your help is available to them. We trust you Lord because your word tells us that you surround your people now and forever more. The scepter of the wicked does not remain over the land you have allotted us. We claim your word which says that the captives have returned, their mouths filled with laughter, songs of joy on their tongues. We thank you for all of the great things you are doing for them and us. We thank you that our fortunes are restored, that our seasons of sowing tears are making way for seasons of joy and restoration! Lord thank you that you will keep their feet from slipping. Thank you for keeping them from all harm, watch over their comings and goings forever. We confess the truth that in your graciousness, you have delivered their souls from death. They were afflicted but now speak peace to them.

As those standing, let us give you all praise and honor. Let us pay our vows to you and hold fast to our commitments to you and our spouses. We pray that you would move on our own hearts to declare those things that are not as though they are. Set a guard over our mouths. Still and quiet our souls, keep us from haughty ways and keep our hope in you steadfast. As wives, let us be fruitful vines within our homes, let our children be like olive shoots. Let blessings and prosperity be ours. Lord, we have put our hope in you, knowing that we will not be put to shame. In your word we hope, we wait and we watch. We expect to see your hand moving in a mighty way on behalf of the members of this fellowship, their spouses and those who have gone the way of the adulterer. Create in us a strong desire for your word and for gifts of discernment. Make us a people who rejoice in your word, give us a love for your commands. Let your word be our delight and our comfort. Keep our hearts blameless before you.
Keep their feet and our feet from stumbling so that we will walk before you in the LAND OF THE LIVING!! Put into our hands the cup of deliverance Lord that we may renew and pay our covenant vows to you in the presence of your people. In the name of Jesus Christ, by His authority and by your will, we declare these wonderful works done! Amen, so be it!

What a comfort it is to know that what Satan intends for evil, God intends for good, just as Joseph said in Genesis 50:20, when he said You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. And that’s confirmed in Romans 8:28, which says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. And even though it has been an experience I would have preferred to avoid, a potentially significant hindrance to the restoration of many marriages was exposed in our midst this week as the result of the awesome restored marriage testimony of one of our FAM Fellowship members. I was surprised to see so little response when the testimony was posted on the site and when I started contacting some of the members I usually hear from, I was totally unprepared to discover that they were unable to truly experience and share in the joy and excitement of such an awesome testimony. Fortunately Romans 8:28 was very reassuring and I kept reminding myself of John 31-32, which says To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” So despite being caught off guard, there was no doubt that good would come of this and that knowing the truth would set anyone willing to recognize it free, and that Satan would no longer be able to use that stronghold as a powerful weapon to prevent the restoration of so many marriages. And there’s no better way to express the issues at hand than sharing what one of the fellowship members posted soon after we talked about how she felt, which ended up initiating more responses than any other post on the private website to date, so here it is:

This fellowship has recently provided us with much reason to praise and celebrate what the Lord is doing. Husbands are coming home, they’re renouncing their relationships with NCPs, they’re acknowledging God again. The Bible is very clear that we are to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. I confess, in these recent weeks of praise reports from several of the ladies, I have battled. I have all true joy and happiness for each of these women and yet…I cannot deny in my heart I complained to God. Just like the psalmist, I am crying out, “How long, O Lord, how long?” I write this because I thought perhaps I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. If I am, then I am glad, because I wouldn’t want others to be experiencing jealousy, envy or increased pain. I don’t want any of us who are still waiting for our own restorations to fall victim to the seeds of doubt. And that is the most important reason I am writing this post. While we wait our turn, it is more important than ever to draw close to God and to each other for comfort and support. We will not make this alone. We need to lean on each other, confessing our feelings so that we can pray for each other, so that the enemy does not keep us under a spirit of condemnation because we may struggle with our flesh on issues such as jealousy. As Linda reminded me today, God is no respector of persons. What He has done, He will do for all who believe and do not give up. Some of us have been waiting a long time and we feel weary. The miracles of others may lead us to wonder if there is something wrong with us, something wrong in our spiritual walk. We may begin to doubt God’s desire to work in our lives. This is what the enemy very clearly wants us to do. He wants to insinuate his lies between ourselves and God so that we become bitter and resentful of God and we “fall away from the faith”.

I just wanted to encourage anyone else who might be suffering…you’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you, God loves you and is faithful and your restoration is coming too. Don’t let the enemy steal those basic truths from you. I am praying for us all. With much love, (Name Omitted)

And if it weren’t for the courage and willingness of one woman to expose her own weakness by confessing it as she did, I have no doubt that a lot of people would have continued harboring bitterness, resentment and envy in their hearts, totally contrary to the instructions found in 1 Peter 2:1, which says Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. And then James 3:16 says For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. And James 3:14 says But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. So confessing that we harbor envy and bitterness in our hearts is very important, especially since Jeremiah 17:10 says “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.”

Deciding to share this on the public website was a difficult decision. But since it has prompted so much response and so many related posts revealing a lot of soul searching and admissions that so many of our members struggle with these issues, along with the recognition that they could indeed hinder the restoration of our marriages, there’s no doubt that many of the visitors to this site are probably dealing with the same issues. Fortunately, recognizing their existence is the first step to eradicating them and eliminating the potential they have to hinder the restoration of our marriages. There’s no doubt that Satan wanted this matter to interfere with the move of the Holy Spirit we’ve seen in our midst over the past couple of weeks, but he’s going to have a very rude awakening, because the exact opposite is true. We’ve turned the tables on him through the power of prayer and confession, and he no longer has that stronghold in the hearts of those who have recognized it and covered it by the blood and love of Jesus Christ! If we’re unable to rejoice when others experience marriage restoration before ours is manifested, we need to examine our hearts and get rid of anything displeasing to God, because it could be a hindrance to having our prayers answered or why God feels we’re not yet ready for the restoration of our marriages. As one of the members pointed out this morning, the Holy Spirit even had to remind her that she had forgotten to thank God for answering her prayers for marriage restoration, and the importance of how this revelation has defeated Satan’s intent is very well expressed in the following response to that post:

Thank you (Name Omitted), for your sincere reminder that we are to praise and thank him in ALL circumstances. The Lord really showed me today that beneath my sin of envy, was a sin of pride. I felt entitled, I felt I deserved my turn. The Lord was so sweet to bring this to my attention so that I could confess and repent. (Name Omitted), the good
news for all of us that experienced those pangs is that God is clearly working FOR us by working IN us to change our hearts. He wants to bring our husbands home and he knows what changes in us are needed before that happens. (Name Omitted) was right on the money when she spoke about her awareness that God still had work to do in her life. And she is a wonderful example to each of us that we need to continue submitting ourselves to God so that our hearts are made pure. There are some verses in Psalm 18 that speak so clearly to our current situation, “To the faithful, you show yourself faithful…to the pure, you show yourself pure…You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. You O Lord keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” We have an awesome promise here. I think God is using Rosalie’s testimony to bring to light some ugly stuff, including pride, so that he can remove it from our hearts. Once we are purified, he will show himself pure and faithful. He has to work in us to weed out the pride so that he can accomplish what his word says and give us our covenant promises. These sins of envy or strife, God will take away once we have confessed and repented which is exactly what we are doing-PRAISE GOD-he is overcoming us and removing the iniquity!!! Even now, as it seems that the devil has gained a foothold, in truth, HE HAS NOT!!. God is winnowing away the chaff and we are being made righteous by the circumcision of our hearts. With our repentance, God is free to turn that darkness into light and we are just all the closer to that day of restoration. Amen and amen to that!

So if this is a battle for anyone standing for marriage restoration, recognize it, confess it and repent, and then be blessed and encouraged, because you have just removed a hindrance and the restoration of your marriage is a big step closer!

Since there are NO truer or more powerful words than Victory in Jesus as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, because our God is ever so faithful to keep His promises to us, it does my heart good to share another restored marriage testimony from one of the FAM Fellowship members that just goes to prove it! So here’s Rosalie’s awesome restored marriage testimony, which she posted on the private website today and for which I greatly appreciate her permission to share here!

“My precious family, I want to share with you the joy and happiness that God showered on me and my family Sunday.

I had not had contact with my husband since Valentine’s Day, when he called about the finances. I prayed and asked God whether I should call him and let him know I got him a card or if I should drop it off in his car or….. The Lord said for me to wait. I then replied to the Lord then I will tell him I have one if he calls. He called and was surprised when my first response was “Happy Valentine’s Day”. We spoke of generalities and then ended the call.

I have been praying and praising God; just keeping my hands to the work He has set me to. I have been getting my house in order and seeking His face. On Sunday after church, the boys and I were carrying things upstairs to make room. I was at the washing machine when the boys called out that their Dad was home. You know I had a vision that my husband would drive up the drive and just sweep me off my feet. I told the Lord that I knew that was slightly romantic and like a fairy tale, but still I would love that. Well, as I walk to his truck to greet him, since he had not been home since the second week of January, he stepped out of the truck and said, “Lucy, I’m home.” Being the most astute person that I am, I didn’t gather the implication. He hugged me tight and I asked how he was. I asked what he was doing. He showed me that he had packed up his truck and that he was home for good, with no reservations and totally committed to me. PRAISE GOD!!! The prayers of the righteous availeth much. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for standing in the gap with me; for accepting me and loving me …encouraging me and teaching me. We will be going to church together Sunday.

He told me that he ate breakfast at the NCP’s restaurant that morning and then went to the place and packed up his things. He said that he had made a commitment 20 years ago to me and God, and he keeps his commitments. He said that he loves me and will never leave me again. In his words: “In for a penny, in for a pound.” My husband said he told the NCP that he was not able to give himself to anyone other than me because he didn’t belong to himself, but to me. He is seeking God and I know the Lord has a mighty work selected for him. We do not have any resentments or walls. God is the God of Restoration and Healing. He is faithful to His promises. I love you Father. Thank you for your Word and for your Holy Spirit which illumines what is needed to be taught. Thank you for your son, Jesus, whose Blood washes away all condemnation and iniquities, revealing the pure white snow in our souls.”

What an awesome testimony of God’s faithfulness! All He wants us to do is let our spouses leave when they want to leave, seeking and living in peace, as we leave everything in His more than capable hands! He just wants us to put HIM first and trust and obey Him! His promises are true and sure, but we have to believe them to receive their awesome benefits and blessings! And when we do, WE WILL HAVE VICTORY IN JESUS!!!

One of the greatest personal blessings and rewards for me as the administrator of FAM Ministries is watching the interaction and ministry that takes place among the FAM Fellowship members. Sadly, one of our newly divorced members came into the chat room very late last Friday night, and he was very down and discouraged, but I have to confess to feeling a whole lot like a proud mama as I witnessed the love and support the other members poured out on him. In fact, since then I’ve received two email messages from members who found something they wanted to share with him, because they wanted him to know that they were thinking of him and praying for him. And the following “Coffee Break” devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, was one of the messages I received, which is the ONLY good advice for when we’re down so low we can’t seem to find our way up. And as I thought about it further, Psalm 121 came to my mind, because it says:
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Unfortunately there have been times when I’ve had to tell someone that I had nothing to offer but Jesus Christ, and if He wasn’t enough for them, then I didn’t know how to help them. He truly is the alpha and the omega, and everything begins and ends in Him, so when we can’t find the peace, strength and comfort we need, we really do have to do exactly what Lorraine shared in the following message, because it works and it holds the key to truly being blessed and encouraged!

“My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word.”
Psalm 119:28

“My soul melteth for heaviness.” You are heavy hearted this morning? Do you feel like your heart is going to explode? Do you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders? Are you feeling pressed down? Is grief over taking you? Do you feel like you can’t handle one more thing without going to pieces? Has your situation become almost more than you can bear? You want to throw up your hands, but that hurts even worse. You don’t know what to do. You’ve tried this and that and nothing is working. You are at the end of your rope and you are slipping.

I have something that will help you; it’s found in the last half of the verse… “strengthen me according to Thy word.” There is a two-fold meaning here. First, you will find help and strength as you read God’s word. It is life and health to all your flesh and marrow and fatness to your bones. The second fold deals with “hearing” a word from God. When we are in the kind of heaviness that “melts” our soul, it’s not always easy for us to pick up the Bible and read it, and even when we do we can’t concentrate or even tell you what we just read. So there is another word we must hear in order to gain the strength that we need during this time. It’s a personal word from God Himself. This is the word you get in a prayer closet. You need to go in, close the door, turn off the television, unplug the phone, lock the door and don’t come out until you have “touched the hem of His garment” and hear Him say a word to you that settles all your fears and worries.

The woman with the issue of blood was in heaviness. She had exhausted all avenues of help; she had no other course to take to be healed. Jesus was her only hope, but He was enough. When she pressed through the crowd and touched His hem, she knew she was healed, but when she heard those words directly from His mouth, “Daughter, thy faith has made thee whole”, she went away with a joy, peace and assurance like she hadn’t experienced in a long time. You need to press your way through the heaviness and reach out to Him until you have “touched” Him and hear Him say a word to you. That word will give you renewed strength.

Have a great day. He will speak a word to you that will give you strength if you will seek Him until you hear from Him.

Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell and is sent to you free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
Please feel free to call (601) 833-5278 or send E-mail or visit us on the web.

You are welcomed to make copies and distribute them free of charge. You may also forward them via e-mail. Please remember to give credit to About the Master’s Business Ministry. Take time to visit our on-line Christian magazine, Living Stones Magazine

It sure is a good thing that God tells us right up front that there’s no point in trying to understand everything He says and expects us to do, because His thoughts and ways are so much higher and different than ours, just like Isaiah 55:8-9 says: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. So when we struggle to fully understand and make human sense of God’s ways, instead of getting frustrated and discouraged because we can’t, we have to remember that’s why Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And there’s little doubt that one of the most difficult things for us to fully understand as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is God’s instruction in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16, which says But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Perhaps the thought that letting our spouses go and living in peace could ultimately save them and lead to the restoration of our marriages seems like such a paradox, that it makes this one of the most widely misinterpreted verses in the Bible today. Since the misinterpretation of the word bound or bondage as used here has already been covered in great detail elsewhere on the site, there’s no need to address the fact that most Christian leaders erroneously use that to teach that it means free to get a divorce and remarry again.

However, it is important to try to understand why God would ask us to do something that seems so contradictory and goes so much against our very nature. But then that’s exactly what a paradox is, as defined by Miriam-Webster Online Dictionary as follows:
“2a: a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true
b: a self-contradictory statement that at first seems true
c: an argument that apparently derives self-contradictory conclusions by valid deduction from acceptable premises
3: one (as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases”

Since this has been a topic of discussion with a number of FAM Fellowship members over the past week or so, I want to share just a couple of things I believe the Lord has shown me. First, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that when there is a struggle to hold onto someone, that both parties involved experience the stress and pressure of the conflict and both are unable to focus on much else, and neither are at peace. There’s an unavoidable atmosphere of turmoil and conflict as both battle to assert their will and convince or force the other to accept and submit to it. And most of the time, the pressure and frustration get to be more than one of the parties can bear and they end up leaving to get away from it, because they’re just too tired of the battle. Since we are all wired to avoid the things that make us uncomfortable and ill at ease, refusing to truly release our spouses when they want to leave makes it very unlikely that they’ll stay or return. BUT when we stop trying to hold onto them, the stress, turmoil and conflict ends IMMEDIATELY, and just like what happens when a tug-of-war stops, there’s no longer a reason to strain and pull away anymore, and there’s an instant sense of relief, and the natural reaction is to take a deep breath and rest. And then there’s time and energy to think about or focus on other things. But not only does that happen for the spouse who wants to be released, it works the same way for the one who was holding on for dear life and it TOTALLY changes the dynamic of our relationship with our spouses when they want to leave and even when they have already left! So NOT releasing our spouses when they want to leave actually has the very opposite effect of what we so desperately want and desire, which explains why God tells us so specifically that we have to let them go. After all, He’s the one who wired us, so He obviously knows what He’s talking about! So God has a very practical reason for telling us to let our spouses go, and when we understand that, it’s not really a mystery how doing that enables us and them to live in peace.

However there’s an even more important principle at work when God asks us to let our spouses go and live in peace, and that’s the power released when we put our trust and confidence in Him and His Word; which is the true test of our faith. Hebrews 11:6 makes no bones about how important faith is to God, because it says And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. That says that we MUST believe that He WILL reward us when we earnestly seek Him. In other words, that is NOT a matter of choice. And it’s not unreasonable to expect God to test our faith, because James 2:26 says As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead. And nothing makes it any clearer just how important faith is to God than the warning found in Hebrews 10:38, because it says But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.” So no matter how much we don’t like hearing it, holding onto our spouses when they want to leave, contrary to the very specific and unquestionable written Word of God, can most definitely hinder and prevent the restoration of our marriages, because it IS shrinking back from living by faith, and does not please God. And even though we think letting go is the test of our faith, I’m not sure that’s the case. I think the real test of our faith is whether or not we can let our spouses go and then LIVE IN PEACE. If we let them go and continue to fret and worry, there’s no faith in that. And in Psalm 37:7, God very specifically tells us not to fret when our spouses succeed in leaving us, because it says Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. And we know God expects us to experience peace when we put our faith and trust in Him, because Isaiah 26:3 says You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. And that just brings us right back to Proverbs 3:5-6 and Psalm 37:5-6, which tell us how important it is to trust God as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

So then the natural question is HOW to do that, and the answer can be found in Philippians 4:4-9 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-6, which says The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete. And taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ, means making it obedient to the Word of God, and the ONLY way to do that is to start memorizing applicable verses of scripture, and a good place to start is with the Restoration Bible Verses provided on our site. We need to understand that studying, understanding and relying on God’s Word are among the most important things to do as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, because Psalm 119:105 tells us Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. And then Matthew 4:4 says Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ “ Since there’s NOTHING more encouraging than reading the Bible and having the Holy spirit speak to us straight from God’s Word, once we start making that a habit, we WILL be blessed and encouraged beyond belief, especially when we understand and put our hope and confidence in Isaiah 55:10-11, which says As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. So it’s my most sincere hope and prayer that everyone will get very serious about reading, studying and memorizing Bible verses and be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!

The following message was posted by one of the FAM Fellowship members on the private website today, and since it’s such an important and encouraging message for everyone standing for marriage restoration, I wanted to share it here too. So thank you, Dan, for sharing what the Lord showed you during your time of hybernation. And what an important thing for all of us to keep in mind; the new marriages we have after GOD restores them WILL be so much better than anything we ever had before and so much more than we ever thought possible! And God certainly will NOT waste everything we’ve been through; there wouldn’t be any glory for Jesus in that! So thanks again for reminding us of that! And may we all be blessed and encouraged! Here’s Dan’s message:

I have been snowed in for the past three days so I have had ample time to reflect on this special day for those who are in love, which includes most of us. The interesting situation for me is that I am having a very peaceful and fulfilling day. I have spent most of the day reading the Bible, watching TBN, and or praying.

One of the readings today stated; God will take us and change us into something more than we could ever have dreamed – if we refuse to give up and just keep on running the race that is set before us. I had prayed last night for encouragement to keep standing. I had no intention of giving up but it is nice to hear from God once in awhile that I am doing what he wants me to do. He has reinforced that today several times and ways.

Galatians 6:9 So lets not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.

Everyone has something that hurts. God wants to use the pain to help us and to turn the table on the enemy of our soul – Satan. Disobedience is the greatest cause of misery and I am not willing to go there again. I know it is useless for my wife to go against God’s will because he will eventually open her eyes, turn her from the darkness to light and from the power of Satan to Him. I am not giving up as I will wait for God’s timetable to come about. My prayer for all of you is the patience, faith, trust and belief that God will change you and your prodigal in preparing for the “new” marriage he has planned for all of us.

He will not waste our pain or our brokenness!

Blessings,
Dan

One of the most difficult things most of us have to endure as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is the inability of the rest of the world to understand why we don’t “get on with our lives” and just “get over” someone who obviously does not love or want us; especially when it’s our friends, family, and even pastors! And, if we’re honest, there have been times when we ourselves couldn’t even understand or make sense of it. Personally, throughout the years I’ve stood for my marriage, there were definitely times when it was totally against my will. And there were times when I thought something MUST be terribly wrong with me, because I couldn’t just get over it and move on; I thought there must be some kind of weakness in my own personality or that I had a serious character flaw. Otherwise how could I care so much for someone who so obviously didn’t seem to care whether I lived or died and who seemed to have totally forgotten everything we once meant to each other…or was that all just a lie? I thought it must be some kind of low self esteem issue, but no matter how hard I tried to argue myself out of it, and no matter how many times I made a determined decision that I WAS going to get over it and move on with my life, GOD always managed to bring me right back to the same place again. And by moving on, I didn’t mean getting involved in another relationship; I just wanted to stop caring so much; to stop loving someone who clearly did not seem to love me. So when we decide to stand for the restoration of our marriages, there’s naturally a whole lot of second guessing that goes on, but that comes straight from the devil, because He knows that hinders our walk with God and His ability to work effectively through us for HIS purposes and the glory of Jesus Christ. And we know that based on James 1:5-8, which says If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. And if unstable doesn’t describe most of us at some time in this process, I don’t know what else would!

Unfortunately, even though 1 Corinthians 14:33, clearly warns us For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints., many wavering standers don’t find much comfort in that, because they can’t get past wondering if God wants them to stand, or if it’s just something they want; which gets them right back to wondering “What’s wrong with me?” So it’s very important for us to realize that EVERYTHING that comes into our lives is either from one kingdom or the other; that it either glorifies and promotes Jesus Christ, or it glorifies and promotes the work of the devil. And there is NOTHING in between. And the only way to determine and be certain whether something glorifies Jesus or Satan is to study and understand what the Bible says about it, because NOTHING contrary to the Word of God glorifies Jesus Christ, and God will NEVER want or bless, much less tell us to do anything that is contrary to His written Word. And when we don’t think there’s a specific answer in the Bible, the best way to determine whose kingdom is being promoted and glorified is to rely on John 10:10, which says The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. And since there’s NO DOUBT that divorce, adultery and remarriage causes destruction and steals and kills just about everything dear to us, there can be NO glory in it for God and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, since He said HE came to give us LIFE, peace, joy and victory over the wicked works of the devil! And when we stand for the restoration of our marriages, we can stand and rely on God’s written Word in Malachi 2 (NKJV), particularly putting our hope and confidence in God’s opinion of divorce as VERY CLEARLY stated in Malachi 2:11, which says an abomination has been committed…Judah has profaned The LORD’s holy institution which He loves…, and Malachi 216, which says “ For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “ Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.” That settles the question of whether or not God would want us to stand for the restoration of our marriages and should clear up any confusion the devil tries to bring against us to convince us otherwise. In addition to that, it’s not insignificant, and we shouldn’t just disregard the fact that TWO of the Ten Commandments forbid adultery, because Deuteronomy 5:18 says “You shall not commit adultery.; and Deuteronomy 5:21 says “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. You shall not set your desire on your neighbor’s house or land, his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Hopefully this clears up any doubt anyone might still have about whether or not God wants us to stand for our marriages!

However, being so clever and cunning, there’s often another question that arises, which is “How is Jesus glorified when I have to stand so long for my marriage and NOTHING is happening?” Well, first and foremost, that’s NEVER true. Just because we don’t SEE or HEAR that something is happening, that does not mean it’s true. By standing on the power and promise of God’s Word for the restoration of our marriages, we have sown seeds of faith and restoration, but just like all other seeds, while they’re under the ground and before sprouting and becoming visible above ground, we can’t see what God is doing with ANY of the seeds we’ve sown. And that’s what The Parable of the Growing Seed teaches about the kingdom of God in Mark 4:26-29, which says He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full
kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.” And there’s no point in any of us trying to get around that kingdom principle to speed up the harvest, because we can not, and it only frustrates us!

But there are many ways Jesus can and will be glorified as we stand for the restoration of our marriages which have little to do with marriage restoration itself, but we have to be willing and yielded vessels to realize all the Lord wants to do through us, and even to be aware of all that He IS doing as we stand in faith and obedience to His Word, will and purpose. For instance, in my own life, if I had not been obedient to the call God put on my life to stand for my marriage many years ago, there wouldn’t be a FAM Ministries today. But even more importantly, IF God HAD restored my marriage earlier in my stand, there still wouldn’t be a FAM Ministries! So there’s NO doubt in my mind that God had a VERY SPECIFIC purpose in delaying the answer to my prayers. And even though I “stood” for my marriage for so many years, the sad truth is that I knew almost nothing about HOW to stand until a little over a year and a half ago, and I wouldn’t have learned that if not for a very painful and disappointing experience that made the ultimate restoration of my marriage look so much less likely than ever before. Yet, it’s ONLY as a result of that very painful and disappointing experience that FAM Ministries does exist today! And I could go on and on with so many examples of why and how everything that has happened in this process HAD to happen exactly as it has for God’s plan and purpose to be perfected. So we have to learn to trust God NO MATTER WHAT, because He will NOT let us down and He ALWAYS has everything under HIS ALMIGHTY control. So it’s important to look around us to see how the Lord wants to use our experience for HIS glory, because when we do, we WILL find it!

And no matter what else the Lord is doing in and through us as we walk through this time and experience, one of the most amazing things of all is what He is teaching us about unconditional love; about the way He loves us! On one of those days many years ago when I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me; what was missing in my life; why I didn’t want something better for myself…all the rot the world teaches us we should want and feel, God showed me something pretty amazing! Why in the world should I see loving my husband the same way HE loves me as a weakness or something to be ashamed of? Instead of being something wrong in me, I realized that it is something wonderful and God glorifying in me! It is something that in and of myself I am not capable of, and since God put it in my heart and spirit, it’s something I’ll never be able to get over. What a radical concept that seemed to be at the time; but how liberating it was! It totally changed my perspective and finally gave me the peace I had so desperately longed for! I learned to see what I had thought of as a weakness; as a flaw in my make-up; and as something to get over, as a strength and confirmation of God’s power and grace at work in me. Being human, there were still times when I wanted not to care so much, but I never again saw loving my husband as something wrong with me or something that I had to get over. I knew it was a very precious gift from God and that He meant to be glorified through it somehow. Despite that, for many years I still thought of it as a burden I had to bear, because I knew it was something I would always have to make peace with no matter what. But after getting involved in this ministry, it ceased to be a burden, because the Lord showed me that it was really just a very special blessing to share! And what an awesome confirmation of that Romans 8:28-30 provides, because it says And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. And there is NO way to truly reflect the glory of God an be conformed to the image of Christ without love, because 1 John 4:8 says Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. So even though the world can’t understand the everlasting love we’re blessed with for our spouses, there’s no doubt that it pleases God, because Jeremiah 31:3 teaches The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. So instead of seeing the love we have for our spouses as something we need to get over, we need to recognize and embrace it as evidence of God’s awesome power at work in our hearts and lives. And I certainly hope and pray that we’ll all be blessed and encouraged as we learn to see the love we have for our spouses through the eyes of God instead of the eyes of the world, especially on this day dedicated to love.

The following poem was posted on the Ladies’ private website by one of our members, Paula, and since it’s so beautiful and some of the scripture references perfectly confirm Alex’s message from yesterday, I’ve added links to the scripture references to share with all of the visitors to our website. And I love Paula’s note, which said “From me (Paula) to you….Happy Valentine’s Day! May we continue to walk in love as He continues to empower us by His grace to love, not as the world loves, but the purest form of love. Love that gives and expects nothing in return. I’m giving you all hugs and big smooches right now.. XOXOXOXO” Here’s the poem with links to the scripture references, which reminds us that we are indeed God’s valentine; His Beloved! So be blessed and encouraged!

Dear Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad.
Almighty God

For more information on the poem above visit Father’s Love Letter, where They also have free greeting cards and loving evangelistic tracts. And you can watch the video at this link, and it’s awesome!

The following testimony was sent to me last Thursday by one of our very gifted FAM Fellowship members, Alex, to share as I felt led. Since I really appreciated her testimony and believed it would be a blessing for several of our members in particular, I meant to post it last week and can’t actually remember just why I didn’t. But now I have a pretty good idea that the Holy Spirit knew this would in fact be a much better time to do so.

Unfortunately, it’s possible for people to be so deeply wounded, that even words sincerely intended to encourage and help them find the peace they so desperately long for and need are unable to penetrate the pain and actually wound them even more. And while the response to yesterday’s SOF post indicates that it was overwhelmingly well received by everyone else, it regrettably caused one person in particular great pain and distress, because she perceived it as a personal attack of judgment and criticism; and an attempt to blame her for her marital problems. Even though nothing could be further from the truth, because all of us have been where she is, and where so many are now, it doesn’t change the fact that we do have to make a decision to overcome the pain rather than allow it to overcome us. But there’s no way to express that choice any better than this beautiful and touching testimony straight from the heart of someone who’s been there as well. So thank you, Alex, for sharing something so personal with us, which I have no doubt will be a tremendous blessing to many others. As your experience reminds us, we CAN rest in the assurance found in Psalm 22:24, which says For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help. And it’s so important to understand that God does have a purpose in everything He allows to happen in our lives, even the pain and disappointment that causes us such great suffering, about which Romans 5:3-4 says Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. So it is my sincere hope and prayer that sharing Alex’s testimony and the hope she found will help anyone else in need of it to be blessed and encouraged!

I know I can’t be the only one who has cried out to God in agony, if not in prayer, to change something in my life that was so painful, I didn’t feel I could cope with it anymore. I know I can’t be the only one who has lost sight of the promises of God. I can’t be the only one who has lost sight of God entirely in the middle of such pain. There was a time in which I could not hear God or see Him, believing that He had turned His face from me. And I was angry with Him for what I believed was a betrayal on His part. I didn’t want to understand that the choice to turn was mine and that I had made it because He would not bring me relief from the pain I was enduring. See, my pain had become my idol. Most of us think of idols in Old Testament terms. A golden calf, sacrificing to gods of rain and harvest. Even in our modern world, we limit ourselves to thinking of idols in terms of money or possessions.

What’s your idol? What do you sacrifice yourself to every day? Is it a failed relationship that you have faithfully prayed to God for, seeking reconciliation? Is it an idol of anger for the hurt you have suffered at another’s hands? Is it a spirit of pride for all that you have accomplished in your life without the help of God? Has pain become your idol? Do you cherish pain, do you keep it alive? When time and blessings begin to close the wounds, do you find yourself compelled to keep those wounds open in the hopes that doing so will keep you from ever experiencing deep pain again?

We don’t want to see that anything that comes before God is an idol. Anything that we refuse to give over into His hands-a grudge, a person, a desire-even godly desires can become idols. For me, pain became an idol. Like sin, I learned how to manage it. Until I reached the point in my life where the pain began to manage me. Like any other addiction, I had lost control. And I cried out to God over and over about it. At first my prayers were for God to change the circumstances or the people that I thought were the source of my pain. Then as I received no answer to this prayer, I cried out for Him to remove the pain entirely. Still no answer. So I stopped praying. As I said before, I lost sight of God and His promises. And so I found myself in that place where I had no strength of will left. I truly felt like clay-just an undefined lump sitting there, waiting to be shaped. I was finally ready for the Master to shape me. With great tenderness and with His living water poured over my spirit, He molds me into a person who sincerely wishes to grow in my knowledge of Him so that I can stop striving for the things I want and accept what He has for me.

We have a perception in the church that deliverance and faith and answers to prayer are like Burger King. The motto of “Your Way, Right Away”–that message of instant gratification is overwhelming and people have lost a sense of what it means to wait upon the Lord. People don’t know how to be still before the Lord in order to hear the small voice that speaks. If we don’t hear from Him right away, we become alarmed and move to distract ourselves from the silence. We think everyone else has the understanding; everyone else has the answer and is living it.

If you feel that way, I want to encourage you today that you are NOT the exception. In fact, you are the norm. Our lives play themselves out just like the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. We put on the masks to hide our pain and our need. We smile, maybe we interject a little “Praise God!” and then we walk out of church empty, discouraged, wondering what is wrong inside of us that we don’t seem to have the joy and hope that come so easily to others. God does not ask us to do this; we demand it of ourselves.

I had to realize the power of sin in my life when I came to understand that it had rendered me unable to truly give or receive love. Now usually at this point of testimonials, the story seems to end happily and everyone gets the impression that the writer sets her pen down and walks away into a life free from pain. But we don’t live in that kind of a world and I would be a liar if I didn’t say that this new walk isn’t a difficult one. And I don’t think Christians can be honestly helped or loved by being bombarded with only “feel good” messages. Because everyone who hears such a message walks away thinking “Yeah, that’s great for them but I’m still struggling.” I want you to know that even as I write this, the pain I had in my life has not subsided. Yet, I am changed and my perception of that pain is changed. That change is my hope and it’s that hope I want to share with you.

In my growing relationship with the Lord, I found it difficult to be honest with Him about my feelings and desires. My prayer time lacked sincerity because I was so busy trying to follow a formula that I couldn’t even be before the Lord without a mask. One day I heard a teaching about Jacob wrestling with God in prayer. I could identify with Jacob. Here’s a man who is certainly not perfect and yet God not only allows him to “win” the match and hence the blessing, but He almost seems to delight in wrestling with Jacob. And I thought of what I experience when my six year old daughter wrestles with me in the floor some evenings when her sugar intake is way over quota. I delight in letting her pin me down because I can see the sense of confidence it brings her. And certainly, as we wrestle, we are very close, tickling each other and laughing. To wrestle someone, you are close enough to see their face, aren’t you? That’s when I realized that He wanted me to wrestle with Him. He wanted me to b real and He wanted me to take off the gloves of self-restraint and run at Him with all I had. And I did. I think I lasted just three hours that first night. Sorry, I just couldn’t make it until daybreak like Jacob did. I walked away rubbing my jaw and knowing that He wasn’t going to take my particular pain away, at least not for a time. I felt disappointment at hearing the word “Wait.” But when I came out of that wrestling match, I learned something very important. My pain had to become strong enough that it would bring me to those wrestling matches, which have become something like labor pains-bringing forth new life for me. Life with restoration, life with expectant hope. And He asked me a very important question and I’ll ask you the same. Would a woman in labor, though she cried out to God for relief of the pain, ever ask God to take away the child that was coming? Would she sacrifice the blessing of joy for the immediate relief of pain? For me that answer was no and so I submit. I will wait and wrestle and not be ashamed to come to Him in that pain. To quote the words of Spurgeon, “Tried believer, thy Lord hath a tear-bottle in which the costly drops of scared grief are put away, and a book in which thy holy groanins are numbered. By and by He will comfortably appear, to thy soul’s joy, and make thee put away the sackcloth and ashes of long waiting, and put on the scarlet and fine linen of full fruition.”

Father, free us from the fear of pain. Free us from wishing it away, from idolizing it and robbing You of the chance to use it to produce fruit. Do not allow us to think we suffer alone. Let us choose to be vulnerable and share our pain with our Christian brothers and sisters. Let us come before You with all honesty of heart, having full confidence that Your mercy and grace cover us as we cry and even scream our pain out in your open court.

One of the most important first steps we have to take when we get serious about standing for the restoration of our marriages is making an intentional and deliberate decision to give up our identity as victims, because as long as we insist on holding onto our pain and disappointment, anger, bitterness and resentment, usually mixed in with huge doses of unforgiveness and self pity, God is unable to do anything with us and on our behalf for the restoration of our marriages. That environment just creates a battle field and is far from conducive to the restoration of our marriages. This has been a big issue for some of the FAM Fellowship members in the past week, but the ones who have been able to make that choice and walk it out would tell anyone that asks how glad they are to finally make it. They have peace and feel better now than they have in a long time, which really makes sense when we think about it. In the same way we know that spouses who are in non-covenant relationships don’t really have peace and aren’t as happy as they’d like everyone to believe, which is what the Word of God tells us is the case, it’s not possible for us to act contrary to what God’s Word teaches and have peace and joy in the Holy Spirit either. So no matter how much we’re hurting, if we can’t find something deep inside of ourselves to help us forgive our spouses and stop judging them and let go of our identity as victims, there is little God can do to help heal our broken hearts, much less our broken marriages.

So how sad it is to see that even men and women standing for the restoration of their marriages often seem unable to say anything good or positive about their spouses; and in fact, are only able to speak in negative terms about them; which certainly doesn’t create the atmosphere of grace necessary for redemption and restoration. And no matter how hard we try to bury it or hide it, if it is there, our spouses are able to feel it. Most of the FAM Fellowship members would tell you that I have told them at one time or another that if we don’t deal with our issues of unforgiveness, anger, bitterness and resentment; it will rear its ugly head at the worst possible moment, because Satan will not miss any opportunity to use it against us. God can not work in us or with us as long as we harbor unforgiveness toward our husbands or wives, or as long as we continue to see ourselves as victims. Remember that in ( John 8:3-11, just as with the woman caught in adultery, Jesus told us that the one without sin should throw the first stone, and since none of us are without sin, we shouldn’t be casting stones at our spouses. And in Luke 6:39-42, Jesus also told us that we shouldn’t worry about the speck in our brother’s eye when we have a plank in our own eye, but that after we deal with the plank in our eye, THEN we could help our brother with the speck in his. Otherwise, he said it is like the blind leading the blind and that both would end up in a ditch. And God doesn’t hold us accountable for what our spouses do; only for what we do or don’t do, so it’s a lot more important for us to focus on what God wants to do in our hearts and lives than worrying about what our spouses are or are not doing. That’s why 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 tells us to let our spouses go when they want to leave and to seek peace; because then we might be able to help save them. If we focus on our walk and relationship with the Lord and creating peace with our prodigal spouses, EVEN AS THEY HURT AND DISAPPOINT US, and encourage our children to have and maintain strong and healthy relationships with them; then God will deal with them and their issues.

And the only way to be men and women of great faith and stand strong for the restoration of our marriages and be the best parents possible is to believe what there is no evidence or reason to believe. If we have a reason to believe or expect something, then that’s not faith. So we can’t let dread and fear overwhelm or paralyze us and keep us from walking in accordance with the teachings of Jesus Christ. And we should never forget that in Job 3:25, Job said What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. And then in Matthew 9:29, Jesus said …”According to your faith will it be done to you”.

And one of the most important things parents standing for marriage restoration have to do when marital problems arise is protect their children from adult issues. And that means encouraging and instructing our children to forgive and seek peaceful relationships with their moms or dads. Children tend to take their parents’ problems upon themselves and feel that they are somehow responsible for the separation or divorce. So we have to make certain they understand that their other parent does NOT have issues with them; that we were not the husbands or wives we should have been and that the issues leading to our separation or divorce are about us and not them. If we don’t make our kids understand that, they will be unable to have and maintain healthy relationships when they grow up and get married. So it is very unhealthy to allow our children to show loyalty to us over their other parent, and something is terribly wrong when our children feel the need to protect us, or when they live in fear that we’re going to be hurt by their other parent. So we have to be strong for our children to help minimize the negative impact this very difficult time will naturally have on their lives. And by our example, we have to teach them how to forgive, and make it clear to them that we were also responsible for the break up of our marriages, and that it was not all the other parent’s fault. And there’s no way to understate the impact this will have on prodigal spouses and parents either, because it is so contrary to how the rest of the world handles similar situations, and it goes a long way toward creating an atmosphere where healing and restoration can take place.

And if we refuse to understand how important it is to let go of our identity as victims, we are not going to break the cycle we’re in, because we can’t keep doing the same things over and over again and expect different results. The only way to get different results is to do something different and the only way to get God’s results are to do things HIS way, and just as Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us, God’s ways are definitely not our natural ways. And as Proverbs 3:5-6 and Psalm 37:5-6 tell us, we’re NOT to lean or rely on our own understanding concerning our circumstances and situations, or even what we THINK is going on in our spouses’ hearts and minds, but we’re to trust God with ALL our hearts and to acknowledge Him in ALL our ways, and THEN HE WILL direct our paths; then he will make our righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of our cause like the noon day sun! And we HAVE to learn to take all of our negative thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ and the Word of God, just as 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us. That’s what we’re here to help each other do, but the work has to begin with us. We have to realize the truth of God’s Word and the power it has to bring us the peace, joy and victory we want so much. In Psalm 119:105, God tells us that His Word is a light unto our path and a lamp unto our feet, and in Matthew 4:4, Jesus said that man could not live by bread alone, but by EVERY WORD that proceeds out of the mouth of God. God’s plan for restoration WILL work, but ONLY when we work His plan, and we do that by understanding and putting His Word into practice. In fact, in Matthew 7:24-27, Jesus revealed that the difference between a wise man and a foolish man; one who builds a house on solid rock that can withstand the storms and winds of life and one who builds one that can’t because it’s built on sand, is that one hears the Word and puts it into practice and the other hears the Word and doesn’t put it into practice.

So the goal of this ministry is to promote God’s Word and our TOTAL reliance on Him and HIS Word for the restoration of our marriages and families, and for the salvation and deliverance of our husbands and wives. But the decision to do that ultimately rests with each one of us, and with us alone. And EVERYONE standing for marriage restoration eventually finds ourselves at that place at some point in time, so it’s up to us to make a deliberate and intentional decision to give up our identity as victims, and with the grace and strength of God, we CAN do it. But we have to be willing to let go of everything we’ve had a difficult time releasing up to that point, and when we do, God WILL be there to meet us and to lift us up. Remember, in 1 Peter 5:6-7, He tells us to HUMBLE ourselves (that means quit trying to do it all ourselves, not relying on our own strength and understanding) under HIS mighty hand, and HE WILL lift us up in DUE time. And He tells us to cast ALL of our anxieties on Him, because He cares for us. But it’s not possible to cast our anxieties” on God without letting them go. So perhaps some of the people who have already made it through this process will share a little of their own testimonies to let others know how the Lord gave them peace when they did, and how He has since been working to restore their relationships with their spouses. And when Satan tries to convince us that restoration is not possible, especially when we first begin to recognize and understand the mistakes we’ve made, we need to read Isaiah 55, and tell the devil he’s a liar, because our God IS THE GOD OF RESTORATION…and then we WILL be blessed and encouraged!

Dear Heavenly Father, we come before your throne of mercy and grace and ask you to meet us at our place of need. We ask that you help us realize that we have to give everything to you; that you have ALL of the answers and that your plans for us are for good and NOT for evil. I pray that you will help us know that when we call out to you, you WILL answer us and show us great and mighty things we do not know. Fill us with the righteousness, peace and joy that is found only in the power of the Holy Spirit, and which is what Jesus told us the kingdom of heaven is all about. Help us find it in our hearts to forgive our spouses and to release any disappointment, pain, bitterness and resentment we still hold against them. Remind us that your Word tells us that you forgive us as we forgive others and that you judge us as we judge others. Soften our hearts and open our ears and eyes, Lord, so that we can hear from you and understand as you pour out your heart to us and make your thoughts known to us. Free us of the pain and anguish Satan intends to destroy us and our families. Remind us that all things are made new in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, and that yesterday is gone and we can’t do anything to change it, and that you even tell us to give no thought of tomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of its own and tomorrow will take care of itself. Help us find a place of deliverance from all the pain and disappointment of the past so we are free to focus on the things you have for us to do today and to rest in the confidence and assurance of the promises we have in your Word for tomorrow. Help us to first seek your kingdom and your righteousness, with absolute confidence that you will then meet our every need. And teach us what it means to delight in you so that you can give us the desires of our hearts. Show us how to use the awesome influence we have with our children to help bring healing and restoration to their little hearts and minds too; and to work to restore their relationship with their father or mother. Fill us with genuine respect and admiration for our spouses and teach us to pass that on to our children. And we thank you for delivering us from feelings of despair and replacing that with peace that passes all understanding and joy and happiness. Help us to be more heavenly minded and not so focused on the things and ways of this world. Help us keep our eyes on you, Lord, and on your awesome power and majesty. Let us place ALL of our hope and confidence in you. Guide and direct us and send angels to guard and protect us and our families. We love you and give you all praise, honor and glory for the great work we know you’re doing in our hearts and lives now and in the healing and restoration of our marriages and families. And it is in the most powerful and precious name of Jesus Christ that we pray and give thanks. Amen.

One of the saddest and most disappointing experiences in marriage restoration ministry is the inability to help some who are standing for their marriages understand the vital necessity of seeking a closer walk with God and a very personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. That’s why it’s so very important to understand that a close walk with God is not possible without an intimate and personal relationship with Jesus, which we know because John 14:5-7 says Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

Yet many people turn to God in their time of need and despair; seeking comfort and answers when their marriages fall apart, with the hope and expectation that God will restore their marriages without a real desire to know and experience a personal relationship with Jesus. And as much as some won’t like hearing it, that may well prove to be a major hindrance to marriage restoration, especially for those who have seen the truth and then made a choice to turn from it. While God always reserves and maintains the right to shower His mercy and grace on anyone He chooses, the ONLY way we can rest in the confidence and assurance that He will restore our marriages is to seek a closer walk with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

While we often hear “Seek first the kingdom of God…”, it’s rarely quoted in context, which does the awesome power of that simple verse a great disservice, because Matthew 6:32-34 actually says For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. And in it’s full context, as found in Matthew 6:25-34, It’s pretty clear that Jesus was making the point that God has the power to meet all of our needs, and that He will do that because we’re so precious to Him. Therefore our time is much better spent seeking “the kingdom of God” than worrying about anything. But since we mistakenly tend to think of “the kingdom of God” as just a reference to heaven, the only way to fully understand what Jesus meant by referring to the kingdom of God is to look at some of the other references He made to it, such as in the following verses:

Matthew 12:28
But if I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.
Since that’s a definite reference to the power of the Spirit of God as it was manifested through Jesus, it was obviously not a reference to a place or to our eternal destination.

Matthew 19:24
Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
I always struggled with understanding the meaning of that verse, and even the explanation that the “eye of the needle” refers to the smaller gates into the cities, didn’t resolve it to my satisfaction. Most people believe that means there probably won’t be many rich people in heaven, but one reason I struggled with that interpretation is that so many of the Old Testament saints were VERY rich! But then I found Romans 14:17-18, which provides a totally different perspective about what Jesus meant when He told us to seek first the kingdom of God, because it says For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men. And then Luke 17:20-21 says Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is within you.” So when we put these passages together, Mark 10:22-24 makes a lot more sense too, because it says i>At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! And Matthew 13:22 explains that, because it says The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.

That makes so much sense, because we all know only too well that the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth, or financial worries, often steal our peace and joy, and even our righteousness in terms of our behavior. So entering the kingdom of God is a lot more about living our lives with peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, and the ability to be content in ALL circumstances, just as Paul indicated in Philippians 4:11, which says I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. And the more we know about Paul’s life, the more incredible that statement is, especially when we consider that it was written while in prison, where he was kept in chains in a very small cell with deplorable conditions, including being filled with raw sewage. But when we truly seek first the kingdom of God and His plan and purpose for our lives, it changes us in ways far beyond comprehension or explanation. And since understanding what Jesus said about the kingdom of God helps clarify and explain the meaning of so many other Bible verses and passages, they have a much more significant impact on our lives. With that in mind, reading the following verses should provide new insight and understanding of why we need to seek first the kingdom of God:

Mark 9:1
And he said to them, “I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God come with power.”

Mark 12:34
When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.

Luke 7:28
I tell you, among those born of women there is no one greater than John; yet the one who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he.”

Luke 9:62
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Luke 18:16-17
But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

John 3:3
In reply Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.”

2 Thessalonians 1:5
All this is evidence that God’s judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering.

Acts 28:31
Boldly and without hindrance he preached the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ.

But one of the most important verses given a much greater clarity and understanding when we recognize our need to seek first the kingdom of God through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is John 10:10 (NJKV), which says The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. Since we know that Satan is the Anti-Christ, meaning that he ALWAYS opposes the kingdom of God and does his wicked best to frustrate the plans and purposes of Christ, this verse reveals exactly how he does that. So when we face any situation or temptation that threatens to steal, kill or destroy the righteousness, peace, and joy we have in Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can be sure that it’s a work of the devil seeking to thwart and frustrate God’s will, plan, an purpose for our lives. And following the instructions in 2 Corinthians 10:5 is the ONLY way to make sure that Satan does NOT get his way, because it says We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And that’s the key to having the abundant life our Lord and Savior came to give us and to experience the peace and Joy Satan is so determined to steal.

John 3:5 says Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. And then 1 Corinthians 4:20 says For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. Yet we all know it’s a whole lot easier to talk the talk than it is to walk the walk. And the ONLY way it’s possible to live and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, producing the fruit of the Spirit described in Galatians 5:22-23, which include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, is to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. And when we do, it’s very attractive to our spouses and others who are drawn to Jesus Christ because they can see the power and the love and goodness of God at work in us, which is what Jesus taught in Luke 13:18-21, where He said Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches.” Again he asked, “What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.” And since the ultimate purpose of God is the praise, honor and glory of His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, we know that’s the purpose for all of His commandments and instructions, of which Jesus said in Mark 12:29-30 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ And we can be absolutely certain that when we do that, we are delighting in the Lord and He WILL be ever so faithful to give us the desires of our hearts, just as He promised in Psalm 37:4, which says Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. So make seeking a closer walk with God through His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, the top priority of your life, and you WILL be blessed and encouraged, because He WILL be faithful to give you everything else, including the restoration of your marriage and family!

The Lord never ceases to amaze me with the blessings He continually pours out on this ministry, and among our greatest blessings are the wonderful, spirit led and fed men and women he continues to bring to our midst! So it is with great pleasure and delight that I’m able to share the following prayer from one of the FAM Fellowship members. Alex, this is truly a Holy Spirit inspired prayer, which I know will be a great blessing for many, especially since it’s so well timed for some of the particular situations some of our members are facing right now. Thank you for your obedience and willingness to share your gift with the rest of us! Dear Lord, I pray that all who read this prayer will be blessed and encouraged in the name of Jesus! Amen.

Lord, we pray that the eyes of those who see will no longer be closed and the ears of those who hear will listen. We thank you that your word says the mind of the rash will know and understand. (Isaiah 32:3-4)
For our spouses who are far from their home in you, Lord, and far from their families, we trust that you will bring them near through the power of Jesus and the work of your Holy Spirit. Psalm 33:9 says “For the Lord spoke and it came to be; he commanded and it stood firm…he thwarts the purposes of the peoples but the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Lord, we thank you for the confirmation of your power as well as your good purposes for us and those we love. May we stand firm with you, trusting you to rescue our loved ones and deliver our families from desperate circumstances.
Let us fear you because your word says your eyes are on those who fear you. Let us hope in your unfailing love because your word says you will deliver us from death and keep us alive in the famine. Lord, we trust that you not only will keep us from eternal death but that you will keep us and our loved ones safe from the emotional and spiritual death that comes from sin. Lord, we trust that you will make all provision for us and that you will also save us from spiritual famine.
As spouses standing for restoration, have your way in developing our character and our beliefs. May we truly be a people that put our complete hope and trust in you, that you will receive glory and honor. Strengthen us to keep waiting in hope for you because you are our help and our shield. Despite our pain, I pray that you will enable each of us to rejoice in you. May your unfailing love rest upon each of us this day. Let the afflicted hear and rejoice! (Psalm 34:2) His word says “I sought the Lord and he answered me, he delivered me from all my fears.” Lord, I claim that now for all of my sisters and brothers-deliver us all from the bondage and strongholds of fear! May we never doubt your promises, may we never be disobedient through lack of faith.
Those who look to the Lord are radiant. Lord, send your Holy Spirit among us so that we may lift up our faces to you, ignoring our circumstances and may our spouses see the radiance that comes from sweet fellowship with you, and may they want it for themselves!
Your word promises that the angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and that you deliver them. Lord, as we are in awe of you, protect us and deliver us! Give us a hunger for your word so that we may be sustained, fed and encouraged always. Let us taste and see that you, Lord, are good. We are blessed because we take refuge in you. Because we fear you, we lack nothing.
Keep us from all evil so that we will do good, seek peace and pursue it. Keep our hearts and tongues from evil and deceit, for your word says that your eyes are on the righteous and your ears are attentive to our cry. We know that we are righteous by the blood of Jesus; therefore we make our prayers and supplications to you with boldness. You ask us to lead righteous lives, so we ask that you accomplish your good works in us to develop our character so that our walk is blameless before you. We are encouraged, Lord, for you promise that you are close to the brokenhearted and that you save those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man has many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. (Psalm 34:19)
Thank you Lord, for your gifts of love and mercy. We praise you for who you are-a most wonderful Father. We thank you for your Son, Jesus, and it is in his name and by his power that we pray. Amen.