In the past few days, the Lord has brought it to my attention that we probably need to revisit the “basics” of marriage restoration more often than we tend to, and there’s nothing more basic or more important when standing for the restoration of our marriages than having the confidence that comes with the knowledge that it’s what God wants us to do. And even though most of us might not struggle with “hearing” from God about standing for the restoration of our marriages and families, many people do; particularly new Christians. And some of the terminology we use just adds to the confusion, especially when we say things like “God told me to stand for my marriage.” Or “I know God called me to stand for my marriage.” And we often tell people they need to “hear from God”. But sometimes that causes new Christians standing for marriage restoration to doubt or question what they’re doing because they think they have to hear the audible voice of God, or that we experienced some kind of amazing supernatural communication from the Lord telling us that He was going to restore our marriages. And while some standers are blessed to have testimonies like that, more than likely, it WON’T happen that way to most of us.

Even though this is not a very complicated issue for those standing for the restoration of first marriages, it’s not so simple for those who are standing for a subsequent marriage, and ignoring or denying that accomplishes no good purpose. Yet, because it is not what some of us want to hear, it’s often swept under the carpet or not addressed at all. Or it’s discussed in vague terms intended to leave the interpretation open to meet the desires and needs of those who hear it. Sadly, that’s exactly what 2 Timothy 4:3 foretold, because it says For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. But if we believe what John 8:31-32 tells us, we know that’s not in our best interest when we really want to hear from God and we’re seeking the truth because it says To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” So perhaps the reason we don’t revisit the “basics” very often is because even though it is very good news for many, we know it could be painful or discouraging for others. But the bottom line for all of us is that whatever we do, it must be based on what the Bible teaches because God will NEVER call us to do something contrary to His written word, and we’ll never hear anything from Him that is contrary to what is written in the Bible. So even though I feel led to share this message to provide assurance and encouragement for those standing for the restoration of their first marriages, it’s not possible to do that without at least acknowledging how it may impact anyone standing for subsequent marriages. So I pray for the Lord to speak and minister to all of us through the power of His word and the power of the Holy Spirit as we examine what His word teaches us about how He views marriage and divorce, and how we can be certain that He WILL stand with us against the forces of hell for the restoration of our marriages, and that it does NOT take a supernatural experience to KNOW that God hates divorce and that it is always His will to see our covenant marriages restored.

First, we need to understand what Jesus taught about God’s plan and intention concerning marriage and divorce, as he very clearly stated and revealed in Matthew 19:1-9:
When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

While Jesus made God’s position on marriage and divorce so clear and simple in the above verses, it has still become a matter of great controversy and conflict in the Christian church today, even though the following verses make it just as clear that God HAS NOT changed his mind (AND NEVER WILL) about marriage and divorce, regardless of ANY other scripture, because NO passage of scripture can EVER be interpreted to mean something totally contrary to another passage:

Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Numbers 23:19
God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

1 Samuel 15:29
He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind.”

James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Obviously, from the very beginning, AND NOW, God intended the marriage relationship to be a “one flesh” covenant relationship, that a man and a woman would forsake their mothers and fathers to be joined together and that they are then NO LONGER TWO, but one, AND He said that NO MAN or woman SHOULD SEPARATE them after that union. Period! That means that NO wisdom, NO plan, NO insight, and NO law or judge can succeed against the will of God and separate or put asunder what HE has joined together in marriage. So that should be enough to settle once and for all the question of God’s will and make it clear that He would always want us to stand for the restoration of our covenant marriages; meaning that’s a question we don’t even have to ask. There’s also no doubt that God commands us to forgive the sin of adultery instead of using our spouses’ unfaithfulness to justify divorce. And we know God hates divorce and the terrible pain and devastation it causes because Malachi 2:15-16 (NKJV) declares:
But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
Not only does that confirm what Jesus said about the one flesh relationship of marriage; it also graphically illustrates God’s understanding of the violent harm caused by the agonizing pain of marital separation and when marriages and families are put asunder by divorce, which is why He says He hates divorce and warns us against committing such treachery. Malachi 2:13-14 also demonstrates the VERY strong stand God takes AGAINST divorce and those who divorce their spouses, and how we CAN count on HIM to act as THE witness on our behalf because it says Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. So let’s not forget the awesome promise we have in Romans 8:31, which says What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?…because God’s quite obviously NOT on the side of anyone seeking or causing divorce!

So when we truly understand God’s plan and intention for marriage as a one flesh and life long covenant relationship, how much He HATES divorce and that HE is the one acting as the witness to our marriage vows as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, we will have the confidence we need to trust and rely on God to do everything He promises in the following verses:

John 14:13
And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.

John 15:7
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

John 16:23
In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

Then in addition to knowing that we’re in the will of God, which IS a requirement for asking something in the name of Jesus, when we decide to stand for the restoration of our marriages, the following verses assure us of His power and ability to bring His will to pass:

Isaiah 55:10-11
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Isaiah 46:10-11
I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.

While all of the above passages of Scripture are sure to provide great encouragement for anyone standing for the restoration of a covenant marriage (first marriage for both husband and wife), they might well be disheartening and discouraging words for someone standing for the restoration of a marriage not meeting that criteria. But no matter how painful or difficult it is, these ARE matters we each have to address in our own relationship and communion with the Lord as we spend time seriously studying His Word.

While there are many questions and controversies that could easily be covered here, the important point is that God always wants covenant marriages to be restored and He hates divorce, so it doesn’t take some kind of supernatural word from Him to know that He wants us to stand for our covenant marriages. And when we take a stand for something we know is in keeping with His written word, we have absolute assurance that God will stand with us and bring His word and will to pass. Additionally, if the marriage we’re standing for is not our first, when we diligently seek the Lord, He WILL answer us and give us the answers we need when we read His written Word.

Since last Friday’s message from Marsha Burns seems so appropriate to include here, I hope you’ll be blessed and encouraged by it:
December 22, 2006: Let your heart be prepared to always have a hearty “amen and amen” to My word, to My instructions, and to My wisdom, says the Lord. Never hesitate to accept My truth and guidance even when your circumstances seem to be beyond help. The difficulty of a situation never alters truth, nor does it negate My word or power to bring you through. Refuse to allow fear or discouragement to cause your faith to be ineffective.
2 Corinthians 1:20 For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.
You can read Small Straws by Marsha Burns at the above link or sign up to receive her messages by email each day.

I just want to share something posted by Cindy on the FAM Fellowship private website today, which I know will truly bless everyone that made contributions to the FAM Christmas Blessings Fund!

Again, I want to thank all of you for donating for my son’s Christmas….The Lord was faithful to answer my prayers to protect my son, and he was brought home to me unexpectedly last night. They called me and told me they were in town and they were bringing him home. I had the presents under the tree and he walked in and said “Oh….Oh….It’s a Christmas Miracle!” He turned around and hugged me and said thank you. His little friend came over today and he met her at the door and pointed to the presents and said, “Look at the Christmas miracle!” Thank you so much again for putting a smile on his face and joy in our home…..God bless and Merry Christmas.

While I may be fairly well versed most of the time, I’m truly at a loss to express the depth of my appreciation and gratitude for the generosity of the FAM Fellowship members and visitors to our website who so generously blessed Crystal and Cindy and their children this Christmas, which otherwise would have been pretty bleak. And you did it with very little notice! I know the Lord will bless each an every one of you in some special way for your kindness and generosity, and I’m sure the following messages from both ladies will be a blessing too. And just so you know, I instructed both women to make sure they got something for themselves too; something they wouldn’t otherwise spend the money for, even if it was nothing more than body lotion and bubble bath! And even though she doesn’t mention it, Cindy’s getting a professional haircut for herself later this week, which is something she hasn’t been able to do for a long time! So the following messages of thanks and appreciation are from Crystal and Cindy for your generous gifts:

I would just like to thank each and every one of you for the gifts and blessings you gave my children and me this Christmas. It is people like you that bring joy to my heart and home. We are so overwhelmed with happiness. My daughter (11) was able to get two pairs of shoes, clothes, and a bracelet with her name on it. My two sons (14) each bought two pairs of shoes and clothes as well. I was able to purchase myself a Bible
that I’ve always wanted; I have dozens of Bibles, but it was this particular one I wanted, an outfit, a bracelet with my name on it, and yes, Linda, I even got the body lotion and splash. I just can’t say how much I truly thank you all for your kind hearts. May God bestow blessings on all of you.
Thank You,
Crystal, Kenne’, Devante and Jarvis

I just wanted to take the time to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the Christmas donations you sent in for my son (7). He is not back yet from the mountains*, so that will give me time to get prepared. I got him a remote control dinosaur, a Star Wars laser, a Hot Wheels launcher for his cars and a Star Wars transformer. He will be so excited. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. I hope that all of you have true peace that can only come from Jesus this Christmas Day and I pray that all of your families are restored…..that would be the best gift of all. Thanks for making a child’s Christmas with his mom one to remember. God Bless, Cindy in Texas

*Cindy’s husband and new wife took her son to the mountains for Christmas and they’re able to lavish gifts and exciting experiences on him that Cindy can’t possibly compete with due to very limited finances, which is often quite painful for her. And since it seemed so wrong to me for any mother to feel that she has to compete to be special in her child’s life, especially when she can’t, I got the idea of making a difference this time, and that’s how the Christmas Blessings Fund was started. When her son left, there were only two presents under the tree, which he had already compared to how many were under the tree at his dad’s, so he’ll be VERY surprised when he comes home and sees all of the awesome presents Jesus left for him while he was away!

And a blessing I wish you all could share is the joy and happiness I’ve heard in both women’s voices as the result of your generosity and how it blessed them and their children! It would really make your hearts feel good, just as it has mine! Thanks again, and may the Lord richly bless you all!

When I woke up this morning, the Lord put the following poem on my heart, so I hope it will be a blessing and glorify our most beloved Jesus! And I wish all of you the Merriest Christmas and the Happiest New Year, which it will be if we contemplate on the wonders of the first Christmas instead of the things of this world which grow strangely dim in the light and power of our Savior’s amazing love! So be blessed and encouraged!

When contemplating all the wonders of that first Christmas Day,
It’s far from easy to find the right words to say!
For that was certainly earth’s most glorious day,
Because it was when Jesus came to show the way!
And defying the dark of night, it was an incredibly bright day,
As the star’s guiding light shone where He lay!
So without a doubt, it was in reality a high holy day,
That put the splendor of God’s love on full display!
Because it was His own Son He sent to us on that most remarkable Day,
As a shepherd to keep His beloved sheep from being led astray!
And even though He was the King of Kings, it appeared to be anything but a royal day,
Because our precious Lord and Savior was laid in a manger filled with hay!
Yet the three wise men and shepherds still recognized the miracle of that blessed day,
As they came to Jesus with gifts, honor and respect to pay!
But the greatest wonder of all on that supernaturally victorious day,
Was that Jesus came to wash all of our sins away!
And He brought the hope of going to heaven with Him one awesome day,
Where He promised there for all of eternity with Him we will stay!
So to honor Jesus, our Lord and Savior, on this happiest of ANY birth day,
We thank Him and praise Him for His love and salvation as we pray!

–by Linda Wattu

Everyone standing for marriage restoration certainly knows ALL about what happens when love is tested, because we’ve all experienced it as we’ve faced the trials of marital separation and divorce, and maybe even when our spouses’ have remarried. And even though that probably seems like the toughest test of love we’ll ever face, it isn’t; because the most difficult and most significant test of love we ever face is when the love we have for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is tested. And standing for the restoration of our marriages will certainly put the love and faith we have in Jesus to the test!

Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message today was one of the most hard hitting I’ve ever heard from her, and that’s really saying something since she’s never one for holding back the punches! She talked about not taking offense or being angry with God during difficult times, and the first scripture reference she used was about when John The Baptist questioned if Jesus was who he thought he was. And that really caught my attention, because I had thought of that earlier in the week when I went to see “The Nativity and it showed how John leapt in his mother’s womb when Mary called out to Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-45). I couldn’t help wondering how it was possible for him to have recognized Jesus then, and then again later when he baptized Him; even seeing the Holy Spirit descend upon Him in the form of a dove and hearing God say that Jesus was His Son whom He loved and in whom He was well pleased (Matthew 3:13-17), and then later doubt who Jesus was! Yet, that’s exactly what happened, according to Matthew 11:1-6 (AMP), which says:
WHEN JESUS had finished His charge to His twelve disciples, He left there to teach and to preach in their [Galilean] cities.
Now when John in prison heard about the activities of Christ, he sent a message by his disciples And asked Him, Are You the One Who was to come, or should we keep on expecting a different one?
And Jesus replied to them, Go and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed (by healing) and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up and the poor have good news (the Gospel) preached to them. And blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied) is he who takes no offense at Me and finds no cause for stumbling in or through Me and is not hindered from seeing the Truth.

But as sad as it is to say, way too many of us are just like John, because when He was in prison, instead of believing what he had seen with his own eyes, he doubted Jesus and questioned what he had seen, even though he had personally witnessed such an awesome supernatural miracle! And when things don’t seem to be going the way we want, believe, or expect, it’s too easy to question what we believe and whether or not we can trust God or if we ever heard from Him in the first place. So I KNOW most of us can relate to how John felt, because we all have to face and work through similar questions and doubts at some time or another as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. But Jesus understands that too, because John 13:7, says Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”. So we have to decide if we’ll give way to what comes naturally to us, or if we will put our faith and trust in the Lord and wait to see what He’s doing, even if it kills us literally or figuratively. Don’t forget, Jesus told us we’d have to pick up our cross daily to follow Him! But that’s a part of being a Christian most of us don’t want to hear, and many of us find putting our trust and faith in the Lord more than ever when things are NOT going the way we want way too much to ask. But I can’t help wondering if John The Baptist would have experienced a different outcome if he had not doubted the Lord, because James 1:2-8 tells us:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
Even though we have a difficult time understanding that about God’s nature and character, it is so clearly demonstrated throughout the Bible, and perhaps never more clearly than the outcome Job experienced just because he said that even if the Lord killed him, he’d still praise Him! And that’s the attitude God wants and expects us to have, which is why it is so important to stand for our marriages as a matter of obedience to God and not just because we want God to restore our marriages. Don’t forget, God knows what is in our hearts and we can’t fool Him! In fact John 20:24-29 gives us an awesome illustration of that, because it says:
Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Even though this message from Joyce may be very difficult and possibly unsettling for some, it’s a very important one for everyone standing for marriage restoration to listen to and understand, because we may need to ask ourselves some important questions to make sure we have the right attitude and that we’re not allowing disappointment, bitterness and anger toward God to hinder the work of restoration He wants to do in our marriages and families. So please take the time to listen to Don’t Be Offended By Trouble, and learn from it to be blessed and encouraged by love and faith and confidence in the Lord!

The Lord has really put it on my heart in the past few days that as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, it’s very important for us to know and keep in mind that the battle IS ALREADY WON, and that EVERYTHING we see in the meanwhile is just the process by which the Lord will get it accomplished, and NEVER evidence or an indication of the outcome! Yet, almost without exception, we tend to lose sight of that, because we are too focused on what’s happening “in the meanwhile”! So the following passages of scripture are just a few that came to my mind or which I found as I contemplated that further:

1 Samuel 17:47
All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

2 Chronicles 20:15
He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

2 Chronicles 20:17
You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’ “

2 Chronicles 32:8
With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.

Romans 8:28-31
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Isaiah 55:10-11
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Isaiah 46:11
From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do.

So it’s up to us to make a very intentional and deliberate decision to take God at HIS word and put our faith and confidence in Him and the promises found in the Bible, instead of allowing every word or incident concerning our husbands (or wives) to make us believe otherwise. Either we believe in the power of God, or we don’t. Either we believe what His word says or we don’t. And there are NO options in between. And if we don’t make a determined decision to believe and trust the Lord and to put our faith and confidence in Him and what His word teaches, we won’t be able to trust Him and commit to doing things HIS way, and that means we can NOT rely on the awesome promises found in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV), which says Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths., or Psalm 37:5-6, which says Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Any time the devil uses our circumstances or the actions and words of our spouses to convince us that God will not or can not do what His word promises, we have to take those thoughts captive IMMEDIATELY, just like Paul told us in 2 Corinthians 10:5, which says We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And the best way to do that is to follow the example Jesus set when the devil tempted Him. No matter what Satan said to Him, He just answered back with scripture and told Him “it is written”. And that’s certainly an awesome demonstration of the power of God’s written word and the power we access when we learn to answer Satan with it and speak it into our situations; because Satan just gave up and left! So when we want Satan to leave us alone and stop torturing us with thoughts totally contrary to the word, we have to speak and affirm applicable passages of scripture, because that releases awesome power into our lives and situations. And we have to STOP speaking words contrary to everything we say we’re standing for and trusting the Lord to bring to pass, because Proverbs 18:20-21 (AMP) tells us A man’s [moral] self shall be filled with the fruit of his mouth; and with the consequence of his words he must be satisfied [whether good or evil]. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. And Romans 4:17 (AMP) says As it is written, I have made you the father of many nations. [He was appointed our father] in the sight of God in Whom he believed, Who gives life to the dead and speaks of the nonexistent things that [He has foretold and promised] as if they [already] existed.

Hopefully, the following verses will help remind us of whose will is going to be done in the end, because there’s NO WAY it will be that of our husbands or wives when their will is so contrary to the written word of God, and we can’t ever let anything they SAY OR DO convince us otherwise! So we need to memorize some of these verses and speak them out loud the next time Satan tries to convince us that God can not or will not win this battle, because it IS HIS battle and not ours:

Proverbs 20:24
A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?

Proverbs 21:1
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:1
To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.

And since “The Valley Of Dry Bones is an awesome illustration of what it means to stand on God’s word when trusting the Lord to breathe life into our dead marriages, we might need to read Ezekiel 37:1-14 often, so we can understand the significance of phrases like “This is what the Sovereign LORD says…Then you will know that I am the LORD” and “Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.” And we don’t EVER want to forget Proverbs 21:30-31, because it says There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD. The battle IS already won, so be blessed and encouraged as you rely and STAND on the written word of God!

So far we have a total of $480.00 going to the two families we requested assistance for yesterday. A total of $350.00 will be going to a disabled woman with three chhildren in AL and $130.00 will be going to a woman with a young son in TX. There’s no way I can adequately express my personal gratitude and appreciation for the generosity of our FAM members and other visitors to the site, who have made this a much brighter Christmas for these families! I feel very blessed to have you all as part of the FAM Ministries family and I know the Lord will bless you all in very special ways. I didn’t make it to the Post Office this afternoon, so it’s still possible to send additional gifts tonight by PayPal or to call me at 850-391-4073 for mailing addresses. I’ll be overnighting Money Orders for the funds sent to the ministry in the morning! Love you all so much and thank you for making this possible! May the Lord keep you and your families and richly bless you all!

One of the most important and difficult things to accomplish when initially ministering to women standing for marriage restoration is convincing them to stop focusing on what their husbands have done (and are doing) wrong long enough to see what they did and are still doing to contribute to the demise of their marriages. But as Satan usually manages to do with all of us, he doesn’t pass up any opportunity to bring self-condemnation once our eyes are opened to our own faults and failures, which is why I REALLY appreciated Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message so much this morning.

While Jesus tells us to deal with our own sin, faults and mistakes before worrying about those of others (Matthew 7:3-5), We also have to love and forgive ourselves the same way we do others, which is why it’s so important to take to heart what Jesus said in Matthew 22:36-40, which says “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Simply and incredibly put, Jesus was telling us that ALL of the rewards, blessings, provisions and protection promised in the Bible hinge on and are summed up in those two commandments, which obviously means we should pay them a whole LOT more attention than we tend to. Yet, when most people summarize what Jesus said, they just say the part about loving the Lord with all our hearts, souls and minds, and loving our neighbors, leaving off the part about as we love ourselves.. But Jesus in His infinite and perfect wisdom, new that without loving ourselves, it is not possible to truly love others. And based on 1 John 4:16, we know that without God it’s not possible to love at all, because it says And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. And as incredible as it is, 1 John 4:10 says This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. That means that loving God requires us to first accept that He loved us enough to send His son as a sacrifice to atone for our sin, which makes perfect sense, because we know that’s the FIRST step of salvation! Yet so many people struggle with really accepting the literal consequences of Jesus’ sacrifice when Satan is trying to steal their peace, joy and victory, even though that’s the very thing they HAD to believe to become a Christian in the first place. That’s why I some times offend women who have such a difficult time with forgiveness and struggle so much with issues of self-condemnation, by asking them to revisit and consider whether or not they’re really saved. Because if we truly believe, understand and accept that Jesus shed His precious and sinless blood at Calvary for the remission and forgiveness of our sin, which is required for salvation, we have no reason to feel condemnation for something Jesus died to cover in His atoning blood. If we accept and acknowledge the sacrifice, how can we then reject its purpose?

So the first step to overcoming self-condemnation is understanding and accepting the blood sacrifice of our Lord and Savior and then applying it and allowing it to cleanse away ALL of the guilt and shame, regret, sorrow and remorse we feel over our sin. Then it’s not so easy to accept self-condemnation for what we know Jesus died to atone for. And receiving and experiencing the awesome grace and mercy of our Lord and Savior is what teaches us to love Him with all our hearts, souls and minds, and that makes it very difficult to then fail to extend the same grace and mercy to those who hurt and disappoint us, which makes it a lot easier to love them as we love ourselves, as Jesus commanded us to do. The following verses are just a few that help us gain a better understanding of God’s love and how it works in our lives to bring deliverance, salvation and restoration:

Ephesians 2:3-5
All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

Joel 2:13
Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

Romans 8:39
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” —

Hebrews 6:10
God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

1 John 4:9
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.

And living through Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to really have the abundant life John 10:10 says He came to give us. And 1 Peter 5:10 (AMP) even tells us And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you. So it ALWAYS comes back to our willingness and determination to submit and surrender our own will and ways to be good FROGs, FULLY RELIANT ON GOD, and that’s for EVERYTHING, including the changes we know He wants to make in us. That’s why I really appreciated Joyce’s message, Are You Offending Yourself? – Part I, so much this morning. She talked about something we hardly ever hear about, and that’s not offending our own spirit, which IS exactly what we do when we accept condemnation instead of the love, power, mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. So please listen to it, especially if Satan has been stealing the peace, joy and victory Jesus came to give you, and be blessed and encouraged!

Choosing a topic for today’s post has been very challenging, as well as finding the time to write it, but after debating and considering several topics, and even having one post substantially completed only to lose it when my computer totally locked up, it seems praising the Lord is the only thing I want to do after all! And there IS SO much reason for rejoicing and giving Him praise, honor and glory today!

First, I can’t possibly express how touched I am by the generosity and willingness of total strangers to reach out and bless the two families I requested assistance for on the site earlier today. FAM Ministries is truly fortunate to have so many wonderful people involved with the ministry, and I can’t tell you all how blessed I feel that the Lord has brought each and every one of you into our ministry family! I know you will each be blessed in a very special way for the kindness and generosity you’ve blessed these ladies and their kids with. So I’ve asked both ladies to give us testimonies to share on the site after Christmas about how our gifts blessed them and their children, which is something I know we’ll all look forward to! Also, both ladies were very touched and humbled that people who don’t even know them and their kids would be so kind and generous, and one of the ladies even told me to give all of the money to the other family, which, of course, I told her wasn’t going to happen! While every gift is very special and greatly appreciated, one in particular really touched my heart, which I’m sure all of you ladies will appreciate the significance of as well, because we received $100.00 tonight from a male visitor to the website. And even though I ask the Lord to bless everyone’s generosity, I ask for a very special blessing for a man we don’t even know who is willing to step up and stand in the gap to help compensate for the unwillingness of two other men to be as concerned about the happiness of their wives and children as he is despite being a total stranger! So thanks to all of you for your wonderful support and participation in FAM Ministries and our desire to help make this a very special Christmas for the families!

As I witness the Lord’s hand at work in the lives and marriages of our members, I am so much in awe and can’t help feeling like one of the most blessed people on the face of the earth just to be part of something so amazing and wonderful! It seems like we’ve made some kind of breakthrough in the spiritual realm and things are happening at a very fast and unexpected pace! I received two awesome praise reports from ladies today who are both still feeling a degree of shock, because of how totally unexpected the changes were and how totally different reality ended up being from everything human reasoning and understanding was leading them to believe! So I fully expect to hear restored marriage testimonies from both of them SOON, and we know their kids couldn’t possibly receive better Christmas presents than that!

The wonderful testimonies and praise reports from both of these ladies absolutely prove and confirm that there’s NO way to overstate the incredible importance and significance of Proverbs 3:5-6, this time from The Amplified Bible, because it says Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. And I can assure you that both of these ladies would be the first to say how challenging and difficult they’ve found that to walk out in their lives over the past couple of weeks.

In fact, it was probably less than two weeks ago when one of the lady’s husbands told her that there was absolutely NOTHING he liked about her…NOTHING, and that one day he was just going to do what HE wanted to do, no matter what anyone thought about it, which was a reference to leaving her for the NCP! It took super human strength to ignore what he said and take those thoughts and hurtful words captive, making them obedient to Christ and the promise in HIS word instead of leaning on her own natural understanding of the situation based on what she was hearing and seeing! And now, in less than two weeks, there appears to be a TOTALLY unexpected and unexplainable turn around! And I have NO doubt it is BECAUSE she made a very deliberate decision to trust the Lord and do things HIS way instead of relying on what her husband and heart were telling her!

Then the other woman was the one I wrote about last week who was considering taking her husband to court to establish visitation guidelines, only to have him call her very broken and distraught the next day! But then everything seemed to be wonderful in his corner of the world again, with no further signs of the broken man she talked to that day, which meant she really had to resist the natural instinct and inclination to lean to her own understanding, which would have led to nothing but TOTALLY WRONG conclusions! She and her husband talked very openly and honestly for a long time today, and she discovered that the situation with the NCP was NOTHING AT ALL like her vivid imagination had misled her to believe! He expressed great remorse, shame, disbelief and guilt for having put his family through everything he’s done, and was able to very honestly and openly describe the hold the NCP has on him. And I couldn’t help being very impressed with the way this woman responded in GENUINE love, honor and respect for her husband, creating a greatly needed atmosphere of grace that will enable him to experience the redemption he is so much in need of now, and then the restoration of their marriage can follow. And NOTHING but the grace and power of our Lord and Savior makes that possible! But once again, she had to resist the natural inclination to analyze everything and try to make sense of things that just didn’t make sense. Instead, she trusted the Lord and did what HE told her to do even when it was the last thing she felt like doing!

So when the devil tries to torture us with thoughts of anything that does not glorify the Lord, we have to remember and practice the wisdom of Proverbs 3:5-6, and refuse to rely on our own understanding, putting all our trust in the Lord instead, and doing everything HIS way instead of the way our flesh wants us to do things, which is almost always CONTRARY to the word! Just as both of the ladies have seen and experienced in such a significant and powerful way, what we think we know most of the time is completely wrong anyway, which is exactly why the Lord told us NOT to try to figure everything out on our own. Not only that, it doesn’t even matter if what we think is true IS true, because God can change ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING! That’s what it means to trust in Him with ALL of our hearts!

Hopefully, sharing these praise reports and testimonies will help everyone understand the importance of keeping our eyes on the power and glory of Jesus Christ and ignoring EVERYTHING else we see and hear. In the end, what God says is what goes, and when we believe that, it should be a lot easier for us to have the attitudes that will draw our husbands back to us instead of sending them elsewhere for what was lacking in us in the first place. As one of the ladies told me today, the change in her husband didn’t come until she started sincerely asking the Lord to reveal what needed to be changed in her instead of worrying so much about her husband. And that reminded me of how the Lord led me to the passage about dealing with the plank in our own eye before trying to remove the speck in our husbands’ eye, and THEN we’ll be able to help him remove the speck from his eye. And even more significant is remembering that He showed me that in terms of the study I did on spiritual warfare and taking every thought captive, which just confirms what she shared. You can read about that again in The Importance Of Taking Every Thought Captive. So PRAISE THE LORD, and be blessed and encouraged!

I know this is very short notice, but it has come to my attention in the past few days that two of the women in our ministry don’t have money to buy Christmas presents for their children, and the Lord put it on my heart to ask our other members to help do something about it by donating money (or gift cards) to help make this a special and memorable Christmas for these families. The absent husbands and fathers appear to be unconcerned or unaware of this particular unintended consequence for their children, so this gives us a unique opportunity to make a difference in the lives of two women and their four children, ages 7, 11, and 14 (2).

When I found out about the first family, I asked the FAM members to help do something spectacular by matching the $50.00 donation I made personally, but now that there is another family, and since one of our members thought I had already done so and referred people interested in helping to the site, I’m now asking for donations from any visitors to the site who feel led to help make this a very special Christmas for these women and their children. Anyone led to bless them in such a way, can make donations through PayPal, with a notation that the donation is for our “Christmas Blessings Fund”, or call me at 1-850-391-4073 for the addresses of the ladies to send gifts to them directly. However, I want to coordinate those efforts to insure that the gifts are appropriately distributed between the two families. And remember, what we do for them, we do for Jesus, and what we give will be multiplied back to us many times over! Be blessed and I thank you in advance for your generous gifts to help bring smiles to the faces of these little ones in otherwise difficult times!

Trust and obey…just three simple words; yet they hold the key to everything we believe and hope for in Jesus. Even though we say and hear them often and they just roll off our tongues, I can’t help wondering how many of us truly understand what they mean and their vital necessity to us as Christians. I started thinking about this post and working on it after watching Dr. Charles Stanley’s message last Sunday about the role obedience played in Peter’s life, and I’ve really enjoyed the Bible study. But like most people who really understand it, I learned the significance of trust and obey through my own life experiences which PROVED to me beyond a shadow of doubt that there IS no other way to be happy in Jesus, just like the song says. And I can’t help wondering if it’s even possible to understand what trust and obey really means without the life experiences it takes to teach us.

It’s just not our nature to believe something without evidence or pretty good reason to believe it. We are naturally inquisitive and want answers, so we want to understand and know what is going on and why it’s going on, how long it will go on and how it will conclude. But all of that is totally contrary to trust in the sense God means it, because trust is synonymous with faith and believing, and one or more of those words are used in many of the Bible verses we rely on the most, especially as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.. But the best way to understand the awesome blessings and power it releases and what God thinks about trust is to read and study what His word tells us about it. And even though there were over 160 verses in the NIV with the word trust in them (according to BibleGateway.com), these are the ones that seem to help us gain the best understanding of trust, especially as it applies to our walk with the Lord as we stand for our marriages. Some may seem very similar or duplicated, but since that indicates their significance I included all of them. So please study them and meditate on them, taking the time to really consider each one:

Psalm 9:9-10
The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 13:5
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

Psalm 22:5
They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

Psalm 26:1
Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have led a blameless life; I have trusted in the LORD without wavering.

Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

Psalm 33:20-22
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 37:5-6
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.

Psalm 84:11-12
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 91:1-3
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.

Psalm 112:7
He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Psalm 119:41-42
May your unfailing love come to me, O LORD, your salvation according to your promise; then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in your word.

Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 16:20
Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.

Proverbs 29:25
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 28:16
So this is what the Sovereign LORD says: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed.

Jeremiah 17:7
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

Nahum 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,

Zephaniah 3:12
But I will leave within you the meek and humble, who trust in the name of the LORD.

John 14:1
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.

Romans 9:33
As it is written: “See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

Romans 10:10-11
For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 4:2
Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.

1 Peter 2:6
For in Scripture it says: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

Wow! There’s an awful lot in those verses and they make it very clear why trust is such an important component of our walk and relationship with the Lord. However, if we’re not able to put our trust in Him and everything promised in His word, especially the above verses, we’ll probably find it very difficult to obey Him, because obedience, PRACTICING THE WORD, and not just hearing the word, almost always requires us to act contrary to our nature. But when we trust God and take Him at His word, we’ll understand why trust AND obey is SO important, and realize that we really don’t have a better option. The following verses help us understand how important obedience is in our lives as Christians, so it’s important to study and meditate on them too (over 220 verses contain obey):

Psalm 119:66-68
Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.

Psalm 119:101
i>I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word.

Ecclesiastes 8:5
Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.

Isaiah 50:10
Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.< Jeremiah 7:22-23 For when I brought your forefathers out of Egypt and spoke to them, I did not just give them commands about burnt offerings and sacrifices, but I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in all the ways I command you, that it may go well with you.