Most of the regular visitors to our site are already familiar with Judy Rousseau’s awesome marriage restoration ministry, which includes daily email messages to and from what she calls her “Marriage Partners”, but anyone unfamiliar with her ministry can find out more about Judy, her restored marriage testimony and how to sign up to receive her encouraging messages at this link. And even though the messages are always great, I was so impressed with the wisdom and insight shared by some of the “partners” in messages from last week that I requested permission to share some of them here. I made some minor changes, but mostly just removing names to protect identity. So the following excerpts are a great example of what to expect when you sign up to receive Judy’s email messages, and I know all of us can benefit from and relate to the wisdom and insight they contain. So thank you Vic and Tom for allowing me to share your encouraging words with visitors to the FAM site, and I’d love to have both of you “chime in” by posting responses any time! And thank you Judy for your awesome ministry and the blessing and encouragement you are to all of us as we stand for our marriages! And here’s a link to Pel Ministries, where you can read or download the book about prayer referred to in the following messages.

Here’s a message from Vic in Indiana:

Hi everybody. I haven’t been able to write to this group in quite awhile. For those of you who may not know me I’m Vic in Indiana. (Vickie but I go by Vic to my friends. Just thought I would clarify that as I saw that there is another Vic in this group now who is a he and I am a she). I have been standing for my marriage for almost 7 years.

I just had a couple of things that I wanted to respond to. I know that Glinda wrote yesterday to say that she had decided not to send the letter she had written, I still wanted to respond to the idea of writing to or speaking to the adulterous woman. There are a couple of scriptures that come to mind.

“Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eats, wipes her mouth, and says, `I have done nothing wrong’.” Proverbs 30:20 In other words, she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care what this is doing to others, she doesn’t care who she is hurting. And our appeals to try and get her to care will probably not make any difference to her. She will only say `I have done nothing wrong’. Also, she is opposed to you and will be opposed to anything that you do or say and will find any way she can to make you look wrong in what you have done no matter what your intentions were. Everything you do and say will be perceived by her as merely an attempt to beat her and win your husband back. She has set her heart in such opposition to you that she will not receive anything coming from you but will reject it precisely because it comes from you.” I did not come with sublimity of words or of wisdom…and my message and my proclamation were not with persuasive [words of] wisdom, but with a demonstration of spirit and power so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom but on the power of God.” 1 Cor 2:1,4-5 I have found through experience that my “contact” with the woman my husband is with is more a matter of praying for her then in speaking to her with persuasive words of wisdom, and through the quiet testimony of my example as a woman and a wife who has allowed Christ into my life. These things can be much more powerful than any of my attempts to persuade or convict. I will tell you that I have felt, on occasion, led to write to this woman, the last time being about 5 years ago and frankly I got no response from her, nor did my husband respond to me. But you know what? A couple of months ago I had contact with my husband and this woman at my mother-in-law’s funeral and this time I only gave quiet witness to who I was in Christ and ever since then my husband has responded to me in more positive ways. We must remember what our goal is here.

Our goal is not to break them up but to reconcile with our husbands. She may be as bitter as wormwood but if I am bitter also in anger or willing to stir up conflict with my words then what incentive have I given my husband to choose me over her. Seems to me that in his eyes it is 6 of one and half a dozen of another. It seems to me that I am better served in looking to my behavior rather than hers and letting the Lord open my husband’s eyes to that contrast. “Then you will again see the distinction between the just and the wicked. Between him who serves God, and him who does not serve him” Mal 3:18 Finally, as has already been said “For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens” Eph 6:12 Really, she is not your problem. All of us think at one time or another that if we could just stop these relationships, if we can persuade these women to give up that our husbands will then return to us But as long as our husbands are hardened and determined in sin it really doesn’t matter if we get rid of this woman or not. There have been many standers who have been successful at breaking up the adulterous relationship or have seen the relationship break on its own, only to have their husbands find yet another woman without returning or who they have remained hard-hearted and not returned regardless of whether they were with someone or not, or the husband has returned home through default but remains hard hearted and there then remains a struggle with them within the home. While it is true that the adulterous woman exercises an extreme amount of control and influence through manipulation and intimidation and we may recognize that, we cannot allow that to lead us to believe that removing our husbands from this influence is our solution because it is often that this is not so. I am of the belief that an adulterous relationship is inevitably built to destroy itself sooner or later. “The Lord is revealed in this divine rule; by the deeds they do the wicked are trapped. Ps 9:17(NAB) I believe that God has so created things so that the wicked punish themselves by the very things they do, “The rain fell, the floods came, and winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined” Mat 7:27 All houses built on the sand of adultery are inevitably subject to this collapse. I feel that I am better served in my marriage by preparing myself and my heart to receive my husband when this relationship inevitably runs its course, rather than try to bring about the end to a relationship that will destroy itself anyway. And my marriage is best served in spending that time as I wait making sure that this house is set solidly on rock (Mt 7:24-25)

I would suggest that you read 2 Chronicles 20:1-30. To me this is a tremendous example of how to let the Lord fight our battles for us and there are many aspects of this story that can be applied directly to our situations most of the time. After you have read the chapter, I would like to direct your attention to these verses “They sang; `Give thanks to the Lord, for his mercy endures forever’. At the moment they began their jubilant hymn, the Lord laid an ambush against the Ammonites, Moabites, and those of Mount Seir who were coming against Judah, so that they were vanquished. For the Ammonites and Moabites set upon the inhabitants of Mount Seir and completely exterminated them. And when they had finished with inhabitants of Seir, they began to destroy each other. When Judah came to the watchtower of the desert and looked toward the throng, they saw only corpses fallen on the ground with no survivors.” Though there are many important keys in this entire chapter, these verses in particular have caused me to contemplate what would have happened to Judah had they decided to `help’ the Lord by entering into the battle. The first thing I realized is that the ambush was not set until the moment they took their stands and began to praise.

If they had entered into the battle rather than praising the Lord for the battle that He was going to win for them, the ambush would not have even been laid in the first place. The other interesting thing is that the enemy destroyed themselves and that there were no survivors. If Judah had entered the battle would they too not have been caught up in this force of destruction with no one surviving? I believe that this would have been so. I know that each and every one of us have felt at one time or another that urge to do something, anything that might help change things but we have to acknowledge that we are powerless (2 Chron 20:12) and all of our attempts to help things along, no matter how well intentioned, may only draw us into situations that are self-defeating. In so doing we often feed into the drama and conflict that the adulterous woman and our spouses seem to thrive on, feeding into what satan thrives on to be truthful.

I know there are times that the Lord does direct us to say or do something but it has been my experience that this is usually a matter of planting seeds rather than finding the solution to our circumstances or fighting or winning the battle. This is God’s gig as I call it. “for the battle is not yours but God’s”. We can remove the other person from this equation but if the hearts of our spouses have not changed and if our hearts are not prepared to receive them, we will not have a marriage. Only God has the power to bring about the change of heart that is necessary here. Once our spouses have been brought to this change of heart and want to be reconciled to us the other person will not matter nor will they even factor into our spouse’s decision to return to us. Many will say that they did this thing or that and it worked. Many may say that the Lord even led them to do so therefore it was right. But I think in the end of this I would love to be able to say “I did everything that I could do, I did everything right and followed every direction that the Lord gave me but my husband did not come home, then the Lord moved in his heart and he did come home” …so that I may not boast in human wisdom or action at all but only in the power of God.

I would also like to respond to Kim. You know, a civil divorce does not mean that a marriage is over. Jesus said “So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate”. Our human courts must not divide what God has made one flesh. Though in our society we seek civil acknowledgment of our marriages by obtaining a license and having a civilly recognized minister witness to the vows, this is not what marries us. It is our vows that marry us and God witnessing to those vows in covenant that marries us and it is His covenant with the couple that causes us to become one flesh. If the civil courts wish to no longer acknowledge the license they issued or the witness they gave they can and if our spouses chooses to no longer acknowledge the vows they gave or the covenant they entered into they can. This is what happens in a civil divorce. But just because they have decided to deny it or not to acknowledge it doesn’t mean that it is no longer so. Scripture is quite clear that the covenants God witnesses to or that He enters into are everlasting. I have searched the scriptures and have not found any in which God failed to uphold a covenant or that He released a vow before it was fulfilled.. When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. Numbers If you make a vow to the LORD your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the LORD your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin. Deut 23:21

Be not hasty in your utterance and let not your heart be quick to make a promise in God’s presence. God is in heaven and you are on earth; therefore let your words be few…when you make a vow to God, delay not its fulfillment. For God has no pleasure in fools; fulfill what you have vowed. You had better not make a vow than make it and not fulfill it. Let not your utterances make you guilty, and say not before his representative, “It was a mistake” lest God be angered by such words and destroy the works of your hands. Rather, fear God!” Ecclesiastes 5:1,3-6.

Our spouses will be held to the vows that they made to us and to the covenant of our marriage “Because the Lord is witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have broken faith” Mal 2:14 By the same token, so will we. Our marriages are not over though we may have to tolerate the restrictions that our spouses and the civil courts are enforcing right now. But we are called to honor our vows and our covenant as well regardless of their acknowledgment of them or not and must ourselves acknowledge them by maintaining the attitude that our marriages remain.

Finally, I want to respond to Tom and say that I felt such a thrill go through me in reading his testimony of how his wife’s lawyer wanted to pray with him! I so love to hear of God moving like that out of nowhere without our having to do anything. That is what I call a praise. Thank you for sharing it, Tom.

So I guess I will stop for now. So good to be able to share with all of you again. Love-Vic

Dearest Vic, how wonderful to hear from you again. Another wisdom-anointed article I’ll likely refer to and quote again and again. We have so many new partners now who have never read any of the things that you’ve written so I’m pleased that today they will have that opportunity. From recent conversations with Eva, I understand that you have been so busy. How I praise the Lord for the gift He has given you and for your willingness to share that gift with us. Hope you can write again soon.

Here’s a message from Tom in Minnesota:

First I would like to thank everyone for their prayers for my marriage. Please keep praying that something occur in my wife’s life that she change her mind about divorce. In prayer last night I was told my time in the “wilderness” was nearing an end and was convicted of several sins from my past that I had never acknowledged before. He told me they were hindering my prayers, but if I repented and sought forgiveness He would do so. I have and feel much closer to Him as a result. I have Tricia to thank for that as well as you Judy for hosting this site. Tricia, your “Desert Beauty” entry blew me away.

I was deeply troubled all day yesterday after reading it and felt under intense attack over and over no matter how much I prayed. I would turn it over to Him, feel at peace briefly, then the severe uneasiness in my heart would return. I was exhausted by the time I got home. When I got home I spent a lot of time praying and rereading it because I knew God had something to say to me. What I learned was not only was I in the wilderness for the reasons your entry pointed out, but that I hadn’t been there for just the 11 weeks of my separation from my wife. I had been there for most of my 44 years! I just didn’t recognize it and like the Jewish people with Moses had been wandering the entire time. Sometimes getting close to getting out, but then turning back to the world rather than seeking Him more deeply.

One of my biggest sins was pride, at being a tough guy, 10 years active duty Army officer in combat zone, all that junk. Last night, shortly after beginning to pray I was crying like a baby. He was there though and within a couple of hours had shown me the sins I needed to repent of told me a little of His plan. My brokenness and my desert of last night brought me to the point I thought I was at weeks and weeks ago. It’s not punishment, it’s a necessary part of His plan for me. Its where I had to come to find Him, no matter the cost.

I have 2 books that I haven’t read yet. One I purchased quite a while ago, the other last week. I have many, many others that I have purchased in the last 11 weeks that I have read and really got a lot out of. Of the ones I have not read, every time I wanted to I felt that very uneasy feeling, an actual pain on my heart. I’ve learned this to be a communication from our Father that it is not time to take whatever action I’m thinking of, that I’m not ready. Every time I’ve listened to this “feeling” things have turned out for my good. Ignore them and go with my own worldly inclination and disaster follows. Even if it’s something simple and mundane.

Last night, towards the end of my much needed prayer time I asked Him about the books again. Should I read them? This time, peace. Yes was the answer. If what I’ve been hearing is right, this is my final preparation for restoration. Far from the battle being won, but a big step in the right direction. I know what kind of husband and step-father I will be because He will be there with me as my Counselor and Guide. No more wandering in the desert as far as my marriage goes. (As for future deserts, I know they’ll come, but I’ll be able to see the beauty through the pain.)

Why are these two books significant to me regarding marriage restoration? Easy to explain. All the other ones like “Waking the Dead” by John Eldredge were focusing on MY relationship and walk with God. Not my wife’s, not my marriage, just seeking Him for myself, to be more like Him. To have the Holy Spirit dwell in my heart and to have Jesus intercede with the Father for me. For me. What a thought! It’s been painful, but every time I stumbled He was there to show me why and pick me up. He never gave up on me and I know He never did in the past
either.

The book I bought last week is called “Stained Glass Marriage: Hope for Shattered Homes” by Dale and Jenna Forehand. I just started it and it’s heartbreaking. All I’ve read so far is their break up and the awful things they did to each other, especially those involving their children. But it’s a book of hope, they remarried and now lead marriage seminars, as the back of the book says “revealing how God can use the broken pieces of a shattered marriage to create a work of art – a stained glass marriage.” I’m sure more will be painfully revealed to me as I read and pray as to what I still need to do. He’s equipped me to handle it though. I wasn’t before because I was handling everything in my own strength.

The other book, the one I bought at least 6 weeks ago is by Dr. James Dobson. Its “What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women.” I’m reading that one last so it’s still fresh when restoration begins. I’ve really had a lot of anxiety over that book every time I look at it on the shelf because I wanted to read it so much. Now I know why, its going to have things I need to know to make a lasting difference, to be the husband my wife needs and deserves. But until now, He had other truths to teach me regarding my relationship with Him. I was not ready for this information because the foundation wasn’t laid yet. Not on the rock anyway, I was still on sand. I would not have learned from it. I know this without ever having read it or even checked out the names of chapters because I know myself. Instead of learning from it I would have continued in the lies. If it said I should do something I would have said “I’m already doing that, she just doesn’t see it”. I would have blamed her. Husbands, if she doesn’t see it it’s because we’re NOT doing it, no matter what we think. Or if we are, it’s not with the right heart, motivation, spirit, or whatever word you want to choose. I know that’s true in my case and I would encourage you to pray and see what He says to you. And thanks again for the prayers for my wife and please keep them up. I know He approves!

I had to go “home” last night to pick up some personal possessions, still no contact with my wife at all except through her attorney. Many thoughts hit me as I sat and looked at my world she had packed up in black garbage bags. One was that I was to be specifically praying for someone today and when I asked who He said Randy. (The friend who lead me to Christ.) I emailed him and told him that this morning, and asked what he needed prayer for and promised to ask for prayer for whatever the situation. Here is what he sent:
This is an answer to prayer already this morning. Major problems last night and a feeling of hopelessness in my marriage. Your prayers are not only appreciated but very much needed. –Thanks!

I asked for help writing a prayer for him and He helped. I got so much inspiration on what to say and how to ask from the book you recommended yesterday found on the PEL website. I read half yesterday and half today. More on that in a second. Here’s the prayer I’m requesting all Prayer Warriors send up to the Lord:
Please pray for my friends Randy and Lisa and the circumstances around their marriage and family:
We pray that they be lead by the Holy Spirit to His Will and know that the covenant they made with Him and each other will not be broken. Any influences not from You we bind up and cast out using the Blood of Christ as our weapon. We ask that You do this in accordance with Your Word, “greater is He that is in us than he who is in the world” (I John, 4:3-4) as well as “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb… (Revelation 12:11). Let us remember that prayer is warfare and that satan wins when we don’t pray but loses when we do because he has no defense against it. Bring them the joy You have promised over and over in Your Word. We thank You in advance for the miracles You will work in each of their lives today and the messages Your Holy Spirit will bring to them in their hearts. We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus because “Lord, even the devils are subject to us through Your Name” (Luke 10:17). Amen
And Judy, that book told me I really am hearing God’s Direction and Will regarding my marriage, despite what I had to do last night, what my mind is telling me and how everything appears from the outside. As I walked around at lunch yesterday praying for guidance all I heard was “what does your heart say?” I kept putting it off and praying more. (Not listening again!) He kept at it until I heard and responded. I told Him my heart says that no matter how it appears my marriage is a covenant that can’t be broken and that He WILL restore it. And that He already is at work on it. Just because I see no evidence of it does not matter, I am to simply be patient, pray and have FAITH. This is what happened as I related it to Randy earlier:
After I got home last night and looked at all the black garbage bags filled with my life I began to pray. And I realized it was nothing more than a pile of crap from satan, and he was laughing. Earlier I had printed a book called “Praying Effectively for the Lost” and had read most of it on the way home, only 40+ pages. Recommended by a very insightful lady who runs a daily message of hope through Christ. I couldn’t believe how most of the precepts matched with what I was already doing, getting myself right first, using a list of other’s needs nightly, etc.
I had felt guilty because on Tuesday night, after the “storm” passed, (after LOTS of rain had come out of me), I felt Him telling me a new way to pray for her. I was to pray that He use whatever means necessary to bring her to her knees, to the brokenness He brought me to. For her I believe that includes financial disaster in some way, major car trouble, unforeseen bills, etc. That’s what I prayed would happen to her so she would turn to him. Not in a vengeful way, but to open her eyes to Him, not me. I was still feeling guilty about it even though I had that peaceful feeling about it. Then this morning I read this and realized, as usual, if I seek His Will, He’ll provide it. This is the 5th and final step of prayer for the salvation of others, a 5 step process that has been used by a lot of people including Billy Graham for a couple of centuries. I had done the other 4 for quite a while already and didn’t even know it.
Ask the Lord to open the minds and hearts of the lost – He will! Then, they can be gloriously saved. Now we are ready to ask the Lord to save him. However, we must be willing for God to do whatever it takes to facilitate his salvation, for God orchestrates events in his life designed to bring him to repentance.

Thanks, Tom. Your message contained so much meat, I just had to share the whole thing. May the Lord continue to bless you. I believe He is preparing you for quite a ministry.

Thanks, Carol. To answer your question about whether or not I apologized to Paul for my part in the failing of our marriage. The answer is “YES.” The Lord showed me that I had been quite disrespectful of Paul and also quite critical and self-righteous. I can’t remember when I made the first apology but I do know that it wasn’t early in our separation because I was just so angry during those first months. Praise the Lord, He didn’t leave me the shallow way He found me. Like Charlyne I’m sure that I apologized several times. However when one does this, he or she must be sure not to be apologizing for the wrong reasons. Some partners that I’ve spoken with over the years have struggled with such a sense of guilt that they apologize profusely for things that they shouldn’t apologize for.

As for what happened in our situation, it did take Paul quite a while to get over the other woman. However, she had become so volatile and obsessive that the breakup actually relieved a lot of the stress that was in Paul’s life. Little by little, Paul’s soul was healed from the effects of his adulterous affair as he gained strength in the Lord.

Here’s a message from Tom in Minnesota:

This is from someone I met on another site. I’m encouraging her to join us as well. I know the things I read here mean a lot to me. Like today’s entry from Neal. I agree with you, rant away! The story about his prayer partner being reconciled the day after seeing her with someone else gives me reason to keep hope alive. Anyway, I would ask everyone to continue praying for my marriage and that whatever deception is on my wife’s heart from the enemy be lifted. And please add Carrie and George to your prayers too. I’m pasting her email to me
along with my response. Anyone with any further advice or encouragement for her can post it here and I’ll forward it to her until she joins us herself. Anyway, here it is:

Hi Tom:

You probably don’t remember me but I am in some of the same prayer groups as you are like the “Loving God Fellowship, Christian Harvest End Time Souls etc.. Anyway we are praying and fasting for the same reasons, to see a breakthrough with our marriages that look hopeless and are now in the divorce process. That is where I met you and others who are praying for their marriages.

I was praying and fasting today when I got a very discouraging e-mail from a pastor on one of these ministries that does prayer and fasting. She said that she was lead by the Holy spirit to tell me this: She said in essence that the devil had already destroyed my marriage, and therefore I no longer had one and that I needed to decide to move on to be happier! I must have cried for 4 hours after that. Am I holding on to a dead marriage? Your Sister in Christ, Carrie

Carrie, absolutely I remember you. We met on the Loving God Fellowship site discussing fasting for marriages. And you and George are high on what has unfortunately turned into an ever increasingly long list of people whose marriages I’m praying for nightly. I’ve gotten names from a lot of websites.

I’m not sure what kind of “pastor” would say the Holy Spirit led her to say that satan has destroyed something therefore God is powerless. I sure wouldn’t sit in that pastor’s church for more than 5 minutes if something like that came out of her mouth. Same if her words came by email. I would pray for her, but wouldn’t put my hope in her words. I don’t believe the Holy Spirit would lead anyone, pastor or not, to say that satan has won. The God I pray to says nothing is impossible with Him.

To me it sounds more like this pastor heard from the enemy disguising himself and lying to her. She believed it. I’ve learned and believed that if we think we hear from God we are to measure whether it was from Him by whether what we hear is consistent with His word. Ask the pastor, if you are still corresponding with her, where in the Bible it says that if satan wins a battle God has lost the war. Or that if satan does something God is powerless to undo it. I’ve never read those parts. Because they’re not in there.

I have to pick up my belongings this week from my home. Apparently my wife has boxed everything up and set it outside under an eave and tarps. Should I say satan has already destroyed my marriage too? On the face of it he has and I could give up, it would be easier. But that’s not what I’m lead to do. I’m praying harder for her and began a 3 day fast today myself asking that whatever evil spirit is holding my wife’s precious heart be removed. If she turns to Christ our marriage can be restored. It’s been 11 weeks now since I’ve even spoke with her, but I’m not giving up. My divorce would likely be final at the end of October or early November if I believed satan’s lies. I choose to believe God’s truth and encourage you to do the same.

God says in Malachi very clearly that He hates divorce. So do I and will keep praying for you and all the other couples I’ve “met” through various websites. Where two or more agree He promises to grant us our prayers. He doesn’t say when or under what terms. I know the heartache you’re going through, I feel it every day myself. But He’s using this time to teach us. And lead us to where HE wants us to be, not to give in to satan’s lies. 11 weeks ago my prayers were strictly for marriage restoration, now, now, now. No thought to what His plan might be. 3 days after our separation I was lead to Him and finally, after 44 years of life, gave it all over to Him and truly accepted him as not only my Saviour, but as my Lord. To seek His Will over mine. And His is that she be forgiven and lead back to him for eternity. My role in that will be defined by Him, not me. She is without Him and I now know that it’s her very soul, her eternity, that I’m fighting for. Not just my marriage. There’s so much at stake in all these spiritual battles, but we have the greatest Commander ever. Follow your heart and His direction Carrie and know that His plan is greater, much greater, than anything the enemy has. He will take the loss satan brings us and glorify His name through overcoming it. –Tom

Wow, Tom. Preach it brother!!! What a message. How my heart grieves that there are so many pastors out there who just don’t understand the restoration power of our God. I can remember confronting a minister who had flat out told me that I needed to get a divorce and that my husband would NEVER change!!! Before leaving that church, I met with him and asked him what passages of scripture he was basing his counsel to me on because from what I read in the Word, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD!!!
If it’s not too much trouble, maybe you could send Carrie some of our messages so that she’ll know that there are others out there besides you who believe that restoration is possible. There have also been several restored marriages in this group. Here are just a few of those couples names: Paul and Judy (that would be me & my hubby), Adrienne and Stephen (Adrienne writes us frequently) Kerry and Ira, Toi and Stephen, Frank and Kelly, Brice and Lisa, Christi and Wally, Beth and Mike, Laura and Larry, Gary and Gwenn, Jana and Jay, Brigette and Jesse, Angel and Karo …

While we often talk about faith and hear a lot of awesome messages about what it is and how important it is, perhaps it’s even more important to talk about what faith is NOT, especially in the context of standing for marriage restoration.

First, faith has absolutely nothing to do with ANYTHING we can see, hear, touch, smell or taste. That’s right, if we can see it, hear it, touch it, smell it or taste it, it has nothing to do with faith, because faith is not required in any way, shape or form for ANYTHING perceived through our natural senses, as Hebrews 11:1 (AMP) tells us NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. That means that ANYTHING we believe, expect or consider probable or even remotely possible based on ANY circumstance, behavior, situation, information, fact or evidence of any kind has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with faith. And the reason it’s important to understand what faith is not as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is because Hebrews 11:6 warns And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. And Hebrews 10:38 more specifically states But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.” So when we need to see, hear, touch, smell or taste something to believe it, or when we require encouraging and affirming circumstances, behavior, situations, information, facts, or evidence of ANY kind to be convinced of something or believe something, we’re NOT living by faith, and God is not pleased with us. In fact, when we’re required to believe that God will restore our marriages without any reason or evidence to believe it, despite ALL of the physical facts and evidence indicating otherwise, and we refuse to put our faith in God, and completely trust and rely on Him, that’s shrinking back from living by faith, and God is DISPLEASED. And that’s definitely NOT good when His word tells us that we MUST believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. In other words, there’s NO point in turning to God for the restoration of our marriages if we lack the faith and confidence that He WILL reward us for doing so.

The reason I believe it might be MORE important to focus on what faith is not than what it is, especially in the context of standing for marriage restoration, is that faith ALWAYS requires us to believe what there’s no earthly reason to believe, which almost always means ignoring a MOUNTAIN of contrary evidence. Yet it’s that very lack of evidence and reason to believe that our marriages ARE being restored that causes so many “standers” to become discouraged and give up. So despite many passages of scripture indicating that faith is required to move God’s hand on our behalf when we pray and stand for the restoration of our marriages, and despite having an opportunity of biblical proportion to exercise our faith and experience the awesome miracles God promises to give us, it’s entirely possible that our own failure to live by faith is preventing the restoration of our marriages. And Matthew 13:57-58 leaves little doubt of that, because it says And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. So our lack of faith can literally keep the Lord from restoring our marriages! Fortunately in contrast to that, Romans 4:19-25 (AMP) was written to remind us of how faithful God is to reward our faith and obedience, because it says He did not weaken in faith when he considered the [utter] impotence of his own body, which was as good as dead because he was about a hundred years old, or [when he considered] the barrenness of Sarah’s [deadened] womb. No unbelief or distrust made him waver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God, Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised. That is why his faith was credited to him as righteousness (right standing with God). But [the words], It was credited to him, were written not for his sake alone, But [they were written] for our sakes too. [Righteousness, standing acceptable to God] will be granted and credited to us also who believe in (trust in, adhere to, and rely on) God, Who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead, Who was betrayed and put to death because of our misdeeds and was raised to secure our justification (our acquittal), [making our account balance and absolving us from all guilt before God]. We should all memorize “he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God, Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised”, because that is EXACTLY what we have to do if we’re serious about standing, without giving up, for the restoration of our marriages, because doing less is NOT living by faith and will not please God. And faith and obedience is what it takes to release God’s awesome power to bring our seemingly dead marriages back to life! So, as Hebrews 12:2-3 tells us, Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

One of the most rewarding and exciting aspects of writing posts for the site is when it is something I know without a doubt the Lord leads me to write, such as today. Over the past few days, the Lord kept bringing to my mind how we’re supposed to be light in a dark world; how others are supposed to see the light of Jesus in us, and how contrary it is to His purpose when we’re not and they don’t, and how it must disappoint Him. So I’ve been thinking of that a lot and what I should write about it. And almost every conversation I’ve had with women over the past week or so has included the importance of BELIEVING God; taking Him at His word and LIVING like we believe Him; demonstrating that we REALLY do trust and rely on Him. And then yesterday after I finished my post, I couldn’t get John 10:25-27 (AMP) out of my mind, because it says Jesus answered them, I have told you so, yet you do not believe Me [you do not trust Me and rely on Me]. The very works that I do by the power of My Father and in My Father’s name bear witness concerning Me [they are My credentials and evidence in support of Me]. But you do not believe and trust and rely on Me because you do not belong to My fold [you are no sheep of Mine]. The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me. So I decided to write my post today about the importance of trusting and relying on the Lord and was surprised when my search for “trust and rely” only brought up two results on www.BibleGateway.com. But when I read the second result, I knew the Lord had something else in mind for today’s post!

The second result led me to Isaiah 50:10-11, which says Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment. Wow, that’s a mouthful and it ought to be enough to get the attention of everyone standing for marriage restoration, especially those of us who struggle with letting go and trusting the Lord instead of trying to “fix” or “manage” everything ourselves. These verses make it pretty clear that we have to let God be our light in these dark times, that we have to obey Him and trust Him and rely on Him, because if we do anything else, HIS light doesn’t shine in and around us and we are definitely tormented. Sadly, “torment” well describes what a lot of women standing for marriage restoration experience, just as it did me for many years after my husband left. I now understand and often remind women that living in such turmoil and distress, particularly insisting on tormenting ourselves with thoughts of “What if…”, is evidence that we don’t REALLY believe God and we’re NOT willing to trust Him and rely on Him and WAIT for HIM to show us the way, but I didn’t realize the Bible spelled out the consequences of doubt so clearly. We often talk about doing what it takes to insure the blessings, provisions and protection of God, but we tend to pass over verses like this that warn what the Lord says will happen when we don’t. And there’s NO doubt that anyone standing for marriage restoration, especially in the beginning, can relate to feeling like we’re in the dark with absolutely NO light; with no idea of what to do or where to go and feeling totally lost and alone. And that’s when the Lord says we MUST turn to HIM and trust Him and rely on Him; that HE will give us the light we need to find our/His way. He assures us of that in Proverbs 3:5-6, which says Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And we certainly don’t want to forget His glorious promise in Psalm 37:5-6, which says Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. And Proverbs 14:12 makes it very clear why we can’t afford to rely on our own understanding or do things our own way, and further confirms Isaiah 50:10-11, because it says There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. That’s why we have to rely on the Bible, the word of God, to guide us and provide the light we need in the darkness we find ourselves in right now, because Psalm 119:105 says Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

When we read Job 29:2-4, it’s so easy to understand and relate to Job’s anguish when he said “How I long for the months gone by, for the days when God watched over me, when his lamp shone upon my head and by his light I walked through darkness! Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house, It’s so natural and normal for all of us to recall better days when we’re going through difficult times, but it’s important to understand that the only way to insure even better days ahead is to TOTALLY trust and rely on the Lord, and to live our lives in obedience to Him so that others will see His light in us. Reading the entire chapter of Job 2, paints a portrait of what our lives are like when we have an intimate relationship with Jesus, especially in terms of the things we do for others in service and obedience to Him, and how the Lord blesses us when we do. And it’s SO important to remember that the only known reason for the devastation and disaster God allowed in Job’s life, who was considered a godly man in every other respect, is found in Job 3:25, which says What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. So Job’s only failure was not believing God, not trusting and relying on Him completely and allowing fear and dread to dominate his life. But the “rest of the story” is one of the most awesome stories of restoration in the Bible, which would NOT have happened if Job had not been totally faithful and obedient to the Lord NO MATTER WHAT…and because he continued to praise the Lord NO MATTER WHAT! So there’s a lot we can learn from the “rest of the story” and how God worked in his life as the result of his faithfulness.

There’s no doubt that when we find ourselves in difficult times of utter darkness and don’t see a way out, God wants and commands us to trust HIM, and believe and rely on Him and His word alone, including this awesome promise found in Psalm 18:28-36, which says You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn. So what better reason is there for trusting and relying on God to turn our time of darkness into light than that! Actually, there IS one, which is found in Matthew 5:15, because it says Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. And we can be certain that when the Lord does turn our time of darkness into light, the rest of the world WILL sit up and take notice, and Jesus WILL be glorified! AMEN!!!

A very important Bible verse for everyone standing for marriage restoration to keep in mind is John 10:10 (AMP), which says The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). This verse is so significant because it’s a reminder that everything we’re going through is part of the devil’s plan to steal, kill and destroy us, our marriages and our families, so it’s very important to remember that Satan is our enemy, and not our husbands or even the NCPs (non-covenant person). And then we have to understand and find out what it takes to experience the abundant life Jesus came to give us. The entire chapter of John 10 provides great insight into the awesome relationship we have with Jesus as our shepherd. And verses 25-27 offer the best explanation for why so many Christians never experience that abundant life, because it says Jesus answered them, I have told you so, yet you do not believe Me [you do not trust Me and rely on Me]. The very works that I do by the power of My Father and in My Father’s name bear witness concerning Me [they are My credentials and evidence in support of Me]. But you do not believe and trust and rely on Me because you do not belong to My fold [you are no sheep of Mine]. The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me. The key to experiencing and enjoying the abundant life the Lord wants all of us to have is believing, trusting, relying on and following Jesus, which we do by hearing and listening to Him. And when we don’t do that, we leave ourselves open to the attack of the devil and he steals, kills and destroys everything the Lord wants to give us. And we know everything He wants to give us is good, because of His awesome promise in Jeremiah 29:11-13, which says For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

On his TV broadcast this morning, Creflo Dollar began an awesome series of messages about abundant life, beginning with 8 Steps to Your Destination – Video and 8 Steps to Your Destination – Audio.

In this first message, Dr. Dollar illustrates how abundant life begins with the word of God, leading to divine thinking, which influences our emotions. Then our emotions and feelings affect the decisions we make and the actions we take. That’s how we create habits, which determine our character, and that’s what takes us to our destination of abundant life. This promises to be a very interesting series, so I encourage everyone to listen to these messages, and I’ll add the rest of the series as they become available.

Here are the links to the rest of the series:

8 Steps to Your Destination (Part 2) – Audio
8 Steps to Your Destination (Part 2) – Video
The Word Produces Your Thinking – Audio
The Word Produces Your Thinking – Video
Taking Charge Over Our Emotions )Part 1) – Audio
Taking Charge Over Our Emotions )Part 1) – Video
Taking Charge Over Our Emotions )Part 2) – Audio
Taking Charge Over Our Emotions )Part 2) – Video

I’m always so amazed how it’s possible to read verses in chapter context time and time again and skip right over their significance until someone points it out by using it in a particular context. That’s what happened when I heard someone refer to Psalm 32:7 this morning, which says You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. What an awesome encouragement it is to know that the Lord is surrounding us with songs of deliverance! And that’s especially true when we feel like we’ve made a total mess of our lives and marriages; when we think we’ve messed things up so bad there’s no hope. Fortunately, the entire chapter of Psalm 32 provides awesome encouragement and instruction, because it says:
Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD “—and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah
Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!

The good news is that getting to the place of recognizing our mistakes and what WE did wrong is a VERY significant step in marriage restoration, because when we feel like we’ve made such a mess of things, we’ll finally be led to confess as Psalm 38:18 says, I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin. And as Proverbs 28:13 assures us, He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. In Psalm 32:3-4, David reveals what happens when we refuse to acknowledge and confess our sin, because it says When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. And I know that’s something most of us can relate to, because as long as we insist on focusing on our husbands’ sin and refuse to deal with our own, that will continue to describe our lives. So we need to take the warning in verse 6 very seriously, because there WILL come a time when it’s too late for prayer and the Lord won’t be found. And my experience in marriage restoration ministry teaches me that happens in most cases when women refuse to examine the sin in their own lives, because they’re so focused on everything their husbands have done wrong, which means they won’t receive the blessings and benefits that ONLY confession provides. It’s not that God can’t be found or that He won’t listen to our prayers anymore, but unless we do acknowledge and confess our sins, until we’re truly troubled by them, we are at great risk of joining the ranks of “standers” who stand no more, whose time for confession and prayer have passed and who no longer seek the Lord for the restoration of their marriages.

Sadly, Psalm 32:9 describes most of us, because it says Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Prior to the turmoil in our marriages, we did not understand the place God insists on having in our lives and marriages and had just as little understanding of our godly roles as wives, so the Lord is using the circumstances we’re in now like a bit and bridle to bring us into right relationship with Him. So praise the Lord for the assurance in Psalm 32:5, which says Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD “— and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah And then we have Romans 10:10, which says For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. And what a most awesome promise we have in 1 John 1:9, which assures us that If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. And then, having been purified from ALL unrighteousness, we can rely on the powerful promise found in James 5:16, which says Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. And we all know the significance of powerful and effective prayer as we stand for the restoration of our marriages! So we can not afford to let failure to examine our own lives and actions for sin, or our failure to acknowledge and confess them, hinder our prayers and the forgiveness, mercy, protection and deliverance God promises. And when we finally understand the things we’ve done wrong and turned to the Lord in confession, we can hide in Him, trust Him for protection, and hear the AWESOME songs of deliverance He IS singing around us!

Most regular visitors to the site know that a very influential passage of scripture used as a basis for establishing FAM Ministries was Revelation 12:10-11, because it says Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. And then at another very difficult and challenging time when I’m sure Satan thought he had defeated God’s purpose, another very influential passage of scripture that helped me keep my focus on what God had called me to do with this ministry was 2 Corinthians 1:2-4, which says Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. The God of All Comfort Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. So the FAM websites are intended to emphasize and promote the power of our testimonies, and the fact that the Lord expects us to use them for His glory and to comfort and encourage others. And the following verses confirm that by making it pretty clear that we are called to share our testimonies for the Lord’s glory:

John 1:7
He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe.

John 15:27
And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.

Acts 4:33
With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.

Acts 20:24
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.

2 Timothy 1:7-10
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

This morning, Creflo Dollar shared his own testimony about a time when the Lord came through for him and what he learned from that experience, in Keeping Your Faith Focused (Part 1) – Video or Audio, which is a very encouraging message and great testimony.

So many discouraged and hopeless men and women visit this website every day, and I know there must be just as many, if not a lot more, who have AWESOME testimonies about times when the Lord came through for them in an amazing way when there seemed to be no way. So I’m asking those of you with such testimonies to share them by posting a response here to encourage those who greatly need to be reminded of the Lord’s grace, power and faithfulness, and it doesn’t have to be related to marriage restoration in any way, and testimonies from men are welcome too. We all share the responsibility to testify about what the Lord has done for us to encourage and comfort others. So, I’ll post the first testimony and hope to see many more from the rest of you. All you have to do is click on the link below that shows how many responses there are, and the rest should be pretty easy to follow. Let’s be obedient and give God the glory for the great things He has done and encourage others in the process! Just remember that everyone has access to what is posted here, so you might not want to use identifiable information, and we don’t want to say anything that does not glorify the Lord or that denigrates our spouses.

When we’re standing for marriage restoration, there’s NO more important question to answer than whether or not we have the ability to believe, because if we don’t believe in God’s word and every promise it contains, AND His ABSOLUTE power and willingness to fulfill them, we’re very sadly deceived by expecting Him to deliver on them. That’s why the very FIRST step in standing for marriage restoration MUST be reading and studying God’s word, along with a lot of prayer and fasting, to make CERTAIN we KNOW and understand HIS will as we decide to stand against the destruction of our marriages. And if we don’t STAY in the word and continue praying and fasting, Satan WILL come along and sow lethal seeds of doubt in our minds to keep us from believing, because he knows that he has no more effective weapons than doubt and unbelief! And the good news is that you don’t have to take MY word for it, because of the awesome illustration found in Mark 9 14-27, which says:
When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him. “What are you arguing with them about?” he asked. A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.” “O unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.” So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?” “From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

This passage of scripture very accurately describes what often happens when we decide to take a stand for the restoration of our marriages! First, we usually encounter and even find ourselves involved in discussion or debate about the “law” and what the Bible actually says and means about marriage, divorce and remarriage. And many times we find Jesus and turn to Him for the first time in our lives, and we run to Him in wonder and delight, because we think and HOPE he can help us and that He will save our marriages. But as we face and struggle with the problems and challenges encountered every day when standing for marriage restoration, without seeing any changes or results as we pray, we become discouraged, and doubt and unbelief set in. Then time after time, we ask the Lord over and over again for a “sign” of encouragement, or even for something VERY specific as a sign that He will restore our marriages. And EVEN though He faithfully answers our prayers and we actually witness and experience the EXACT thing we asked Him for as a sign of encouragement or that He’s going to restore our marriages; even when we’ve seen something that we KNOW ONLY GOD COULD DO, we still end up accepting and proclaiming that our marriages are dead and that marriage restoration is hopeless! How can we ask God for a sign, and then be so delighted when He faithfully answers our prayers, only to give up on Him, so often just a matter of days or weeks later! That’s like calling the Lord a liar! If we ask Him for a sign or for encouragement and He gives it to us, and then we reject or refuse to believe the promise He sent the sign to give us, why in the world should He ever do another miracle for us. What reason does He have to believe we’d use it for His praise, honor and glory? These are very important questions for us to understand the importance of and answer, because the Bible leaves absolutely no doubt that EVERYTHING God does will be for the glory of Jesus (Ephesians 1 and Isaiah 55) and that without faith, it is impossible to please Him and He will NOT answer our prayers or perform miracles for us if we don’t believe He will (Hebrews 11:6, Hebrews 10:38 and James 1:1-8)! So, just like the father in the above passage of scripture, we have to ask the Lord to help us in our unbelief. And as He always is, He will be faithful to help us and He WILL come and lift us up! But we need to beware of the warning in Matthew 13:57-58, which says And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

And finally, we have to realize and recognize that even our faith and ability to walk in faith comes from the Lord, because Romans 12:3 tells us For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. And then John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. And praise the Lord for Philippians 4:13 (NKJ), which assures us I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And as a reminder of what faith really means and requires of us, we can read Hebrews 11:1 (AMP), which says NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. And Romans 10:17 even tells us what it takes to have faith that pleases God and gives us the assurance that He WILL answer our prayers and restore our marriages, because it says Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. So once again, we learn that the most effective defense against Satan’s lethal weapons of doubt and unbelief is spending quality time studying and meditating on the word of God! And I am CERTAIN that there is a very direct correlation between the time we spend in the word and the time we spend battling doubt and discouragement. And if we’re spending too much time in that battle, Satan will probably win, because we’ll give up the stand God called us to for our husbands and the restoration of our marriages. And that’s a choice each one of us have to make for ourselves, so I pray that we will all get a lot more serious about reading and studying our Bibles and send Satan running right back to hell where he belongs!

There’s NO way to live in the power or peace of God without knowing, understanding and applying the word of God, and it’s very unlikely that it’s possible to successfully stand for marriage restoration without God’s peace and power. So yesterday’s TV broadcast message by Charles Stanley is a very important message for all of us as we stand for our marriages, as he makes an excellent case for why the Bible is so vitally essential to us if we want to live godly lives in an ungodly world, as anyone standing for marriage restoration is certainly called to do.

Dr. Stanley used Titus 1 as the basic text for his message, and particularly focused on Titus 1:9 (from the AMP this time), which says He must hold fast to the sure and trustworthy Word of God as he was taught it, so that he may be able both to give stimulating instruction and encouragement in sound (wholesome) doctrine and to refute and convict those who contradict and oppose it And he used Isaiah 40:8, which says The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.”

He makes a very good case for the fact that the only way to “hold to the word” is to believe it and apply it. And offers the following specific guidelines for doing that:

1. Read it carefully
2. Meditate on it daily
3. Study it seriously
4. Believe it whole heartedly
5. Apply it personally
6. Obey it deliberately
7. Share it openly

This message also makes a powerful case for the consequences in our lives when we drift from the word with the following points, which we all probably recognize the truth of:

1. We begin to think the way the world thinks
2. The world wins our affection
3. We compromise our convictions
4. It dominates our conversation
5. It redirects our focus on God
6. It influences our dress
7. It steals God’s tithes
8. It alters our schedule
9. It feeds our minds with sensual thoughts leading to immoral acts
10. It ruins our testimony
11. It renders us useless for the kingdom

That last point is one we REALLY need to pay very close attention to, because there is so much in God’s word that makes it very clear that our purpose here on earth is to give praise, honor and glory to Jesus, and when we live our lives in such a way we can’t do that, there’s NO reason for the Lord to bless and protect us, provide for us or hear and answer our prayers. One of those passages is Ephesians 1:4-14. And if we’re living lives that render us useless for the kingdom of God, we are NOT living in accordance with HIS purpose, as clearly indicated in the above passage, so we can NOT rely on God’s awesome promise in Romans 8:28, which says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. And we can’t count on His promise in Proverbs 3:5-6 either, because it says Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. It’s not possible to read the Bible without understanding that while God’s love is unconditional, His blessings, provision and protection are not, because many of His promises require us to trust Him without reservation and to obey Him without question. So I hope and pray everyone will listen to Dr. Stanley’s message, Living Godly In An Ungodly Age, and understand how vitally important it is for us as we stand against the gates of hell in this wicked world for the restoration of our marriages.

I have no doubt this is an important message for someone in particular today, because of how the Lord brought it about. I was all set on a topic for today’s post and had already done quite a bit of preparation for it, but when I started working on it, it just didn’t seem right and I felt “blocked”. So I moved on to something else I had been considering, but the same thing happened. After repeating that process with several different possibilities I finally decided if I wasn’t comfortable with something in my spirit, I just wouldn’t post anything today. Then, at the end of a conversation with one of the FAM members, she casually mentioned that she just read something in the Bible we had discussed recently, and as soon as she said it, I knew that was the topic the Lord wanted me to write about today. Unfortunately, addressing the existence and dangers of false teachers in our midst is not an easy or popular topic, but since I’m certain it is what the Lord wants, here goes! And I think the best way to address it is to share how dramatically the Lord brought it to my attention, and then let the scripture speak for itself.

When the Lord first made it very clear to me that He wanted me to write a book about taking a stand for marriage, I started doing the necessary research and was totally blown away by some of the opinions I found on the internet and heard from what I considered respected preachers and teachers, because so many of them appeared to be so contrary to what the Bible actually teaches, including the words of Jesus himself. While writing the book, when it came to addressing the issue of why false teachings concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage are so prevalent in the church today, which I believed (and still do) was because so many people in ministry and church leadership are themselves divorced and remarried, I was struggling to find a way to present my opinion without sounding judgmental or like I was trying to promote and justify MY own opinion by discrediting others. At that point, I hit a serious mental block and decided to get away from it for awhile to clear my head.

Later that morning, I was going about my business, not thinking about anything in particular, when just like once before (at a very difficult time in my life), I heard what I considered pretty close to the audible voice of God, and I heard Him say “as a dog returns to it’s vomit.” As you might imagine that just about blew my mind and it made absolutely NO sense to me at all. I knew it was something in the Bible which I was pretty sure meant we tend to return to our sin like a dog returns to its vomit. But I couldn’t figure out why the Lord was telling me something like that, soI kept trying to figure it out while I was doing whatever I was doing, and then I felt “compelled” to go to BibleGateway.com and look up the scripture. There were two referenced verses; the first one was in Proverbs and the second one was in 2 Peter. I read both verses, as I usually do and then decided to read the second verse in context, which usually includes the verses before and after, but inadvertently ended up on the next link, which was the entire chapter of 2 Peter 2. So I just started reading the whole chapter, which is all about false teachers misleading Christians by teaching false doctrines. It took a little while for it to sink in, because my first thought when I read it was that the Lord was answering another question I had been researching for another book I was contemplating, and which I had been engaged in serious conversations with some of my friends about. And that was the often debated question of whether or not “once saved, always saved”, but after reading it a few times, I realized what the Lord was really showing me, even though it might seem to address the other question as well.

Now, with all of that in mind, read 2 Peter 2:17-22, and imagine how I felt!!! Talk about being on a spiritual high…I was on one, because it said These men are springs without water and mists driven by a storm. Blackest darkness is reserved for them. For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.” And here’s the entire chapter of 2 Peter 2. I couldn’t believe how the Lord brought me to that particular passage of scripture just to help me write my book! I was not very familiar with that passage, and had no idea that the verse about dogs returning to their vomit had anything to do with false teachers, so it was very exciting and probably something I’ll NEVER forget!

So as we stand against the gates of hell and the rest of the world for the restoration of our marriages and families, we must avoid being enticed by the promises of freedom offered by anyone teaching that there’s nothing wrong with getting divorced or married again once we’re divorced…NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE! Since standing for marriage restoration is far from easy and we often get tired and discouraged, it doesn’t take much to fall into the trap Satan sets to snare us as 2 Timothy 4:3 warns, because it says For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. Unfortunately, few pastors, preachers, teachers and church leaders today have the courage or conviction to resist scratching so many itching ears and take a strong stand for what the Bible so clearly teaches about marriage, divorce and remarriage instead. And that’s most likely because it’s VERY unpopular and could even jeopardize their livlihood, since so many people in their churches and congregations and among their families and friends are in second or subsequent marriages, and quite often just because they weren’t happy in the first marriage and met someone else they thought would make them happier. I don’t know if it’s a term anyone else ever used before, but I consider that “situational interpretation”, and as Hebrews 13:8 tells us, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. And His word NEVER changes, even if our circumstances and situations do! So what we believed when we first made a decision to stand for our marriages has not changed. God didn’t give us a word about standing for our marriages and then take it back, but once we stop reading and studying the Bible for ourselves, and praying for the Lord to guide and direct us, we fall easy prey to the work Satan so easily accomplishes now through false teachings so dominant in today’s Christian churches. And then we’ll be deceived and try to justify ignoring what Jesus said in Matthew 5:17-18, which is “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

Dear Lord, I have no doubt this message is for someone in particular today, so I pray that through the power of the Holy Spirit, their heart is touched and that you will give them the grace and wisdom to continue standing for the restoration of their marriage and family in faith and obedience to you. In fact, I’m certain that will happen, because you wouldn’t have led me to write this as you did today unless it was for just that purpose. Thank you, Lord, for loving us so much that you are always with us and always working in our lives and on our behalf to bring us into the awesome and glorious plans you have for us and our families. Help us to keep our eyes on you, Jesus, and not on our circumstances or what the rest of the world does or says, and protect us from the influence of false teachers. Please give us the courage and strength we need and the encouragement you know we need from time to time. For as your word tells us, without you we can do nothing, but with you ALL things ARE possible. Fill us with the power of your love and bless us with great faith and peace and joy that passes all understanding. We love you and give you all praise, honor and glory. And it’s in the name of Jesus we pray and give thanks. Amen.

While there are many important things for us to learn about the Lord and His kingdom as we grow closer in our walk with Him and stand for the restoration of our marriages, the more I learn and understand personally, the more I realize just how important it is for us to truly understand the power of our words. This week Joyce Meyer has been teaching about self-control and discipline in her TV broadcast messages and today her message was titled Watch Your Mouth – Part I, and it’s an AWESOME message! There’s no way to listen to this message without finally comprehending the power our tongues have to literally determine the direction of our futures, so I very strongly encourage everyone to take the time to listen to it several times if that’s what it takes to get it!

The main Bible text Joyce uses in this message is James 3:1-12 (AMP), which says:
1 NOT MANY [of you] should become teachers (self-constituted censors and reprovers of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standard and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation].
2 For we all often stumble and fall and offend in many things. And if anyone does not offend in speech [never says the wrong things], he is a fully developed character and a perfect man, able to control his whole body and to curb his entire nature.
3 If we set bits in the horses’ mouths to make them obey us, we can turn their whole bodies about.
4 Likewise, look at the ships: though they are so great and are driven by rough winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the impulse of the helmsman determines.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze!
6 And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man’s nature), being itself ignited by hell (Gehenna).
7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea animal, can be tamed and has been tamed by human genius (nature).
8 But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God’s likeness!
10 Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.
11 Does a fountain send forth [simultaneously] from the same opening fresh water and bitter?
12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine figs? Neither can a salt spring furnish fresh water.
Well, I don’t know anyone who could honestly deny being nailed by that first verse! I know I was, as well as on several points in Joyce’s message today. So, I decided to go ahead and listen to tomorrow’s message, which is Watch Your Mouth – Part II, and just as powerful!

It would be a good idea to have a notepad handy or your Bible in order to make note of the passages Joyce refers to in this message, but one powerful passage she uses is Ephesians 4:29-31 (AMP), which says:
29 Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God’s own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).
31 Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).
And the rest of that command is found in verse 32, which says And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

If we’re honest, we’re probably all nailed again, because we’re all guilty of speaking words contrary to this command, and we should not forget that it IS a command. Joyce shares a personal experience in her ministry as she makes the point that there is a direct connection between the words we speak and the power of the anointing of the Holy Spirit to flow in our lives.

Ladies, I pray that we will all be a lot more mindful and thoughtful about the words we speak, because we WILL eat their fruit, for better or worse, for life or death, for restoration or permanent separation, and for the glory of the Lord or Satan.

Even though I have another topic for today’s SOF ppost, which I will post later, when I saw this message in Judy Rousseau’s email message this morning from one of her “marriage partners”, I knew it was something that needed to be shared here. In recent weeks, it’s been heart breaking to see how Satan is working in our midst to deceive and defeat women standing in very difficult circumstances for the restoration of their marriages. Ladies (and gentlemen), Satan does NOT send a wolf in wolf’s clothing! No Way! You can be absolutely certain that wolf will be all dressed up in the finest array of one of God’s dearest little lambs! BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, HE (OR SHE) IS A WOLFE JUST THE SAME! And he (or she) was sent from the pits of hell to deceive you and lead you away from the path of marriage restoration on which the Lord called you to stand! There’s NO WAY to overstate the importance of AVOIDING the temptation so often put before Christian women standing for their marriages, which means avoiding ALL contact with men in similar circumstances or ANY man who pays you any special attention, married, single, divorced, separated or widowed. In this case, an ounce of prevention is worth way more than a ton of cure! Even though I’m not sharing the name of the author of the following message, I thank her from the bottom of my heart for sharing what’s in her heart and I pray that it will open the eyes of anyone Satan is trying to deceive with such temptations. You can be sure, once you’ve allowed yourself to be so tempted, you will do exactly what 2 Timothy 4:3 predicts, because it warns For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. In the name of Jesus, God bless and protect everyone standing for marriage restoration from ALL such deception sent by the devil! AMEN!

“Hi! Hope that you are well – I can read that you have been extremely busy. What a blessing to have your family so close by!
I wanted to share something that I “realized” yesterday…about opposite sex relationships under the guise of “ministering.” I attend bible study at a church nearby. When I first started attending, I had two people introduced to me that were praying for their marriages. One of them was a guy around my age. I was incredibly rude (i type this red faced!) and although I prayed for his marriage and tried to point him in the direction of some excellent resources, I refused to meet him (even in a group!). I know my own weaknesses (at least this one) too well to have fallen for that trap…I mean, he isn’t unattractive.
What saddens me is that he was not so “lucky”. We have mutual friends who have shared that he is no longer seeking restoration and has become involved with someone in our church. I know a LOT of standers really wonder “what the big deal is”…I’m here to testify that THAT is the big deal. Are you even curious when widows/widowers marry one another? That people who have experienced a traumatic experience together “end up” together? I PRAISE GOD for the wisdom HE has given me to see my own weaknesses here. And there are PLENTY.
Many of you probably don’t struggle here…you are blessed. But for those of you who do – who’ve lost weight, are more attractive than you’ve ever been (PRAISE BE TO GOD!) and have unwanted attention, which makes you feel attractive and a ton of other things – TRUST ME – you are BEAUTIFUL and you don’t need any one else to validate that for you… I have watched the enemy try and trip me (heck, smack me over the head!) here more times than I would like. I felt lonely, ugly, unwanted, rejected and here were people who were “acting like” they “loved me”. Can anyone out there relate? This has got to be for SOMEONE out there…because I feel pretty foolish even sharing this with you. I can hear the teeth clicking and “You’re so vain” playing in the background –
and LORD knows, I wish it were vanity…that would be an easier break. But it isn’t. It’s (real) rejection. It’s (real) pain. It’s (false) acceptance. It’s (false) appreciation. It’s (false) validation. And I fell for it once…very early on in my stand…and 2 days later my husband called to tell me he wanted a divorce. Cause and effect? I don’t know. But I know that what I did was wrong, out of the LORD’s plan for me.
I could have fallen for that guy I mentioned earlier, too – I knew I could have. Even worse? At one point last night, I wished I had. I mean, he was moving on, looked like he was happy, accepted, loved…but the LORD is sooo good and HE reminded me that that wasn’t what HIS plan was for me. And I know that HIS plans for me are GOOD! I’m not judging the guy – hey, I know that the LORD doesn’t speak restoration to everyone. And I know that the LORD loves this guy…and that he will work it all out for good… I’m mentioning this because someone out there is struggling with this and I am here to tell you IT ISN’T WORTH IT. No matter how you work it out in your head – it isn’t GOD’s plan for you. Get your cup filled by your creator, your LOVING GOD…and stop begging for what HE wants to give you, from other people and places.
And to K_____…what about this divorce whether it goes through or not, will change who you are? You are GOD’s child, the apple of HIS eye, HIS beloved. God is in control – if your divorce goes through (and I pray it doesn’t), remember that the LORD knew what would come on the day he spoke restoration to you. He knew every valley and mountaintop, and yet, HE still spoke restoration to you. I’m reading a book – “Bondage Breakers” (which I fought, btw) and the author made an analogy that has really stayed with me…Imagine a road, lined with townhouses and skyscrapers. You are at one end, and CHRIST is at the other. As you walk down the street, you hear “voices” – trying to distract you from your goal (CHRIST). Those voices, be they circumstances, spirits, what have you, they are trying to slow your progress, impede it, destroy your ability to make it to the end, in CHRIST. Divorce, rotten circumstances, whatever – those are the screamers out the windows as you walk towards CHRIST. Don’t let them impede you one step. (the book, btw, is AWESOME!!!)
And for what it is worth – I haven’t spoken to my husband in over a year – the last time I saw him, he told me he wanted to restore, we had a BLESSED weekend, and then *poof*. GOD taught me that contact with him wasn’t a barometer for the LORD’s working.
Whew – Judy, that was LONG. Feel free to edit or not even post it. Whatever the LORD leads. I have tried to write this a few times and felt too silly to hit “send”…today I stepped out. In HIS LOVE, M______
Thank you, M______, for your honest and straightforward message about the dangers of double-mindedness. Over the years there have been many partners who have been standing with one leg and at the same time dangling their other leg over the fence to keep themselves active in the world of dating, just in case the Lord doesn’t answer their prayers in the way and timing they desire. A timely and well written message, M______. Thank you once again.”

John 10:10-17
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again.

Since Jesus tells us that He IS working to gather our husbands into the flock, let’s not make the work more difficult or delay it by allowing the wolves sent by the devil to scatter us!

Ordering any of the following “Bondage Breaker” products from the links provided below will help support FAM Ministries, and they’re always very highly recommended by anyone who reads them:

Bondage
Breaker Revised, Book and Study Guide – 2 volumes
By Neil Anderson

You feel defenseless. The devil seems to have control of your thoughts and actions, causing you to sin again and again. But there’s a solution! Dr. Anderson gives you a proven strategy for breaking free from Satan’s stronghold and the bondage of habitual sin. Claim victory today! Set includes one softcover copy of the book and one copy of the workbook.

The
Bondage Breaker, Revised
By Neil Anderson

You feel defenseless. The devil seems to have control of your thoughts and actions, causing you to sin again and again. But there’s a solution! Dr. Anderson gives you a proven strategy for breaking free from Satan’s stronghold and the bondage of habitual sin. Claim victory today! This updated and expanded edition includes more encouraging success stories and suggestions. 252 pages, softcover from Harvest.

The
Bondage Breaker Study Guide, Revised
By Neil Anderson

Thousands of people have discovered the liberating truth of The Bondage Breaker. Now you can grasp more fully how God sets us free in this complete guide to victory over Satan and his forces of darkness. Perfect for personal study, or quarterly classes, this study can be used with The Bondage Breaker book or on it’s own.

The
Bondage Breaker – Audiobook on Cassette
By Neil Anderson

You’re trapped. You don’t know how you ended up in such a mess–locked in habits you can’t seem to break or caught in sin. You are not alone. The Bible warns that all Christians will struggle against Satan and his spiritual forces of darkness. This audiobook reveals the whys and hows of spiritual warfare, exposes Satan’s battle for your mind, and details the powerful truth that will break even the most stubborn habits or private sins. You can live without chains! Learn the truth of who you are in Christ and what it means to be a child of God. Knowing your spiritual identity and position in Christ is the essential truth that will set you free. Abridged. Read by the author. 2 cassettes.

As often happens, a common theme on several Christian TV broadcasts today is fear and since fear is why we find it so difficult to “Let Go and Let God”, it’s a great topic to follow yesterday’s post, Letting Go. Unfortunately, fear is a natural enemy to all of us as we stand for marriage restoration, because if we give in to it instead of standing on the promises of God, we don’t have the faith and confidence necessary to win the war Satan has waged against us, our husbands and our families. In 2 Corinthians 10:2-6, Paul said I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward
some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete. Obviously God does not want us to wage war like the rest of the world, and Paul makes it very clear that defeating the devil in the spiritual battle for our marriages requires taking our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ, but fear keeps us from doing that.

God SO wants us to have the awesome faith and confidence expressed in Psalm 46:1-3, which says God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Now that’s faith in the face of fear! More importantly, and most powerfully, it’s putting faith in the place of fear, because it’s not possible for fear and faith to co-exist. And one of the most awesome examples of overcoming fear with faith is found in Hebrews 16:17-18, which says By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” There’s no point in denying our fear, because that’s unrealistic, but we do need to take Joyce Meyer’s advice and “Do it afraid.” Just like temptation, there’s no sin in temptation, but giving in to it when we’re tempted is what leads to sin. And there’s no sin or shame in being afraid, but the sin and our loss comes when we allow that fear to keep us from walking in the faith needed to please God and make it possible for Him to perform the miracles we need in our marriages and lives. And if that sounds like an overstatement of faith’s power, Matthew 13:57-58 tells us otherwise, because it says And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith. Let it never be said that the Lord can not work on our behalf to change our husbands and restore our marriages, because our lack of faith and confidence in His word and faithfulness makes it impossible for us to overcome the fear Satan intends to destroy us and our families.

So when fear threatens to overcome us and keep us from letting go and putting ALL of our trust and confidence in the Lord, we need to listen to Psalm 91. It’s only two minutes long, so it would probably be a very good idea to listen to it often, especially when we’re going through the most difficult times, because it’s VERY encouraging and assures and reminds us that there’s NO reason for fear when we’re DWELLING IN THE SHELTER OF THE MOST HIGH!!

Psalm 91:
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Even though there are so many difficult challenges when standing for marriage restoration, the most difficult of all for most men and women is letting go, or even understanding that we’re called to do that and what it means. Despite rampant abuse of this particular verse among Christians today, we still have to rely on the wisdom and instruction found in 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NKJV) as we stand for our marriages, because it says But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. However, it’s very important to read the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 7 (NKJV) to fully understand the context of this verse and what Paul acknowledges is his personal attitude concerning marriage, which he clearly felt interfered with service to the Lord.

Through conversations in the past week or so, the Lord has really impressed me with the importance of letting our spouses go, which most of us don’t REALLY understand. Letting them go (or depart)means releasing them to do whatever they’re going to do, no matter how sinful, no matter how stupid, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how dangerous, no matter how wrong, no matter what. Letting them go means we don’t have to know, understand or feel responsible for what they’re doing, what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling, who they’re talking to and even the things they’re NOT doing…nothing. We don’t have to know or “fix” anything, because we know God knows it all and He can handle it all. He’s in control and he just wants us to release them to Him and trust and KNOW that He IS doing what He promises us He will do. And we do NOT have to know when, where, how, or even what He’s doing. And most of the time, the only way to let our husbands and wives go AND live in peace is to release and totally give up EVERY expectation we have concerning them, which is probably the most difficult challenge of all. However, it IS what the Lord wants us to do, and it is a VERY significant part of acknowledging Him in all our ways. God’s plan just doesn’t work without working the plan found in His word. All He asks us to do is stand in the gap for our spouses with faith and unending prayers, and when the perfect time arrives, HE WILL MOVE. But not until then, and if we had any smarts, we wouldn’t want it any other way. So releasing our spouses and living in peace requires doing, and not just hearing, what Proverbs 3:5-6 says, which is Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. And as we trust the Lord and concentrate on doing things HIS way, we can rely on His word in Psalm 37:5-6, which promises Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Since every man and woman standing for marriage restoration knows all about feeling totally helpless to change our spouses or what they’re doing, we should take great comfort from these verses and then do everything in our power to walk them out in our lives every day, because God is not a liar! In fact, Hebrews 6:17-20 tells us Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek. So the very best place for us to be is where we finally understand and accept that we can NOT do anything to change our marital circumstances and that the ONLY hope we have is in Jesus and the way HE made for the restoration of our marriages. So we’re in the right and best place when we understand and relate to Psalm 62:1-2, which says My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. When we stand in faith and obedience, God WILL meet every need and He will be faithful to fulfill every promise found in His word, just as Isaiah 55:9-13 says:
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”

Proverbs 8:34 (NKJV) reminds me So much of the father of the prodigal son, because it says Blessed is the man who listens to me, Watching daily at my gates, Waiting at the posts of my doors. So instead of focusing so much on the prodigal son and what happened to him, everyone standing for marriage restoration needs to be a whole lot more focused on the father and what he did, AND WHAT HE DID NOT DO, because that’s the best example the Bible provides of what it means to let our spouses go and live in peace. So it would be very good for all of us to read and meditate on The Parable Of The Lost Son, more commonly referred to as the prodigal son, and why our husbands and wives are so often referred to as prodigals. I have no doubt that father was totally devastated and that his heart was broken when his rebellious, disrespectful and ungrateful son in effect said that he wished he would die so he could have his inheritance. And I have no doubt that after letting his son go into the unknown dangers of the lifestyle he wanted to live in and waste his fortune on, he made peace with his pain and disappointment, and overcame his fear by devoting himself to prayer, putting all of his faith in the Lord to protect and return his son. That’s why as men and women standing for marriage restoration, we must faithfully do what Colossians 4:2 instructs us to do, which is Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

In an effort to clarify and address what I consider a popular misinterpretation, it’s important to note that the Greek word interpreted as “bondage” (or “bound” in the NIV) in the original text of 1 Corinthians 7:15 is “DOULOO”, which means slavery, and the same word used in Acts 7:6, which says God spoke to him in this way: ‘Your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years. And that’s the same word used in 2 Peter 2:19, which says They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. Yet, in 1 Corinthians 7:39, where Paul said A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord., he used the Greek word “DEO”, which means mutual commitment or agreement, as by contract. And that’s the same word he used in Romans 7:2-3, which says For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man. So it is not reasonable to interpret 1 Corinthians 7:15 to mean that if an unbelieving spouse (not necessarily unsaved) leaves or departs, the other spouse is free to remarry. And since God ALWAYS calls us to live in peace, we can’t infer a special interpretation in this context, because the same thing is seen in many other verses, such as Romans 12:18, which says If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Furthermore, rejecting such an interpretation is also consistent with the instructions given to wives in 1 Peter 3:1-2, which says Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. That makes more sense because 1 Corinthians 7:16 asks how we know whether we will save our unsaved spouses, and many men and women with restored marriages say that it was the unexplainable peace they observed in their spouses that first drew them back to their homes. I can’t necessarily explain why this verse says that we’re not bound in such circumstances, but it can NOT mean something totally contrary to what so many other verses say, especially since Paul did NOT use the Greek word DEO. Perhaps it is just simply a statement of the obvious, which is that while our spouses are away from home, we’re not under the bondage of performing or acting as their husbands or wives in terms of our daily duties and responsibilities, which makes us free to focus on other things that glorify the Lord instead. That especially makes a lot of sense when considered in the context of how strongly Paul states his own opinion that married people can’t serve the Lord with the same level of faithfulness and commitment as those who don’t have the responsibilities and concerns of marriage, so Paul obviously considered marriage as a type of bondage or slavery.

Even though we might not understand it, there is no doubt that the Lord expects us to release our spouses and let them go when they want to leave because they no longer believe in the sanctity of the vows they made to us. And, yes, He does know how difficult that is, but He requires it just the same. Perhaps a vision He gave me once will help bring some comfort and make it easier to do, because He showed me that even though our spouses think they are running from us and their families and responsibilities, they’re really just running right into the arms of Jesus. So let’s not stop them by trying to put up roadblocks and holding onto them, or by trying to make them feel guilty for their sin, short comings and failures. That’s the role of the Holy Spirit and He doesn’t need our help. Our role is to ALWAYS show respect, honor and unconditional love for our husbands and wives, regardless of whether or not we think they’re doing anything to deserve it. So the next time you’re husband or wife is doing something you just can’t understand and something you don’t know how to deal with, turn to the Lord and ask Him to help you and visualize them running right into the arms of Jesus! And each and every day when you get up, ask the Lord what HE wants you to do that day for His kingdom and glory, because that IS the real key to living in peace NO MATTER WHAT!

Even though I was looking forward to writing the post I’ve had on my mind for the past few days, when I saw Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message this morning, I knew I’d have to set that aside and share Joyce’s message instead. It’s The Perks Without the Works, in which she teaches the importance of discipline and self-control, and it’s a VERY important message for anyone serious about marriage restoration to watch.

There’s no way to overstate how important it is for us to understand the spiritual laws and principles operating and controlling the kingdom of God, which we need to know and understand so we can put them to good use as we stand against the gates of hell and what the rest of the world says about the restoration of our marriages. So I ALWAYS welcome and appreciate messages stressing how vital that is for the realization of our dreams and the fulfillment of our prayers. In fact, I recently wrote a post about that titled Doing What It Takes To win, in which I stressed the importance of studying God’s word so we’d know what it takes to win the battle for the salvation of our marriages, husbands and families.

God never meant for us to be passive as Christians. Yet, that’s how many view their relationship and walk with the Lord. But no one expecting or requiring a miracle can afford to be passive. No where in the word of God does it indicate that we can accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior and then just sit back and idly wait for God’s blessings, provision and protection to roll in. That’s not how it works, and if we don’t get that, we might be in for a big disappointment, because God will NOT be obligated to move on our behalf and bring about the restoration of our marriages. That point couldn’t possibly be made any clearer than in James 2:17, which says In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. And then Philippians 2:12-13 says Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Since we know that’s not a reference to salvation in terms of our relationship with the Lord and our eternal destination, it must mean salvation in terms of the Lord’s protection, provision, and blessings. And there’s no doubt that it’s saying we must obey in order to “work out” that salvation (or deliverance) according to God’s will and good purpose. And there’s further confirmation of that in Hebrews 11:6, which says And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. and that affirms an earlier message in Hebrews 10:38, which says But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.”

One of the Bible references Joyce used in her message this morning was Proverbs 16:32 (NKJV), which says He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Even though I’ve read that verse many times before, it had a much greater impact when specifically considering it in the context of self-control, which is obviously what it’s about! And none of us can say we can’t help what we do (or don’t do), because as Joyce points out, self-control IS one of the fruit of the spirit described in Galatians 5:22-23, which says But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. So when Satan tries to deceive us into thinking we can’t do what the Lord asks (and ALWAYS equips) us to do, we have to remember and claim the promise in Philippians 4:13 (NKJV), which says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. May we all exercise the self-control and discipline necessary to insure that our faith is not dead, because our words of faith are backed up by our actions and attitudes, which are in keeping with God’s word.

The following prayer was sent to me by Sharon Kornegay (WIN), which was something special the Lord put on her heart one day after she finished her prayer time. And since it is such an awesome warfare prayer for everyone standing for marriage restoration, I thought I’d share it here. Be blessed!

Father, we thank You that the Holy Spirit is operating in our lives today.
We are strong in You and in the power of Your might.
Thank You that at the name of Jesus, demons tremble and have to flee.
We take our rightful place in the kingdom today and draw a blood line.
We let the devil know that he must flee.
We refuse to be bound today by sickness or disease and declare over our bodies that they are the temple of the Holy Spirit and it dwells within each of us. We are healed.
We thank You that every principality, power, ruler of darkness, spiritual force of wickedness, sorcerer, violent attack, spirits of witchcraft, dominions, forces of darkness, operating against us is bound right now in Jesus’ name.
We are reminded of Your Word which states that who the Son has set free is truly free indeed.
We stand on what is written and declare that God is for us. He is on our side.
We loose the Power of God to reign supreme in our homes, on our jobs and in us.
We thank you that as we submit ourselves to God as unto the Lord, we walk in the same authority as Jesus.
Thank you that as we take unto ourselves the whole armour of God, we are able to withstand in the evil day and having done all we still stand. We stand with our loins girt about with truth, and we have on the breastplate of righteousness.
The truth is the written Word of God.
Our feet are shod with the preparation to face the enemy with firm-footed stability, the promptness and the readiness produced by the good news of the Gospel of peace.
We take the shield of faith, where with we are able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
We take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God.
We pray at all times on every occasion, in every season in the Spirit, with all manner of prayer and entreaty.
To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of the saints (God’s consecrated people). And we pray that utterance may be given that we may open our mouths boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel.
We have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but rather reprove them.
We speak to ourselves today with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in our hearts to the Lord.
We give thanks always to God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
We thank You that we always triumph through Christ Jesus.
We thank You Father that our finances are blessed, our atmosphere is blessed.
Where Your Spirit is there is liberty and freedom.
We thank you that greater is He who is in us than he that is in the world.
We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us.
We put praise on today.
Thank You for sanctifying our lives and we stand in the gap and pray for our husbands, children, loved ones and friends.
We declare the glory of the Lord in whatever place we are in right now.
In the name of Jesus, we have good success daily.
It is evident wherever we may go that Your hand is upon us.
Thank You for creating in each of us gifts and abilities to prosper in every area of our lives.
We don’t just pray and say things as a cliché’ but Father we declare what is written in the Holy Bible and we are walking interpretations of the Word.
We are living testimonies so that we can let the world know that You
are God and You live in us.
You are the creator of all things and will soon wreak havoc upon the things of the devil.
Our families will serve You wholeheartedly and will no longer be vessels of dishonor.
We praise You for helping us to have an anointed prayer life.
Thank you for connecting ministries together all over the world who will stand in faith and declare that Jesus is Lord.
Thank You that it is the Acceptable Year of the Lord!
We serve the Most High God who is more than enough.
Our vats are overflowing today.
The place right where we stand is Holy Ground.
We are not playing around but we stand firmly planted on the truth of God’s Word.
The truth sets us free today.
Jesus is the watchman over our lives and has given His angels charge over us.
We bind up fear because fear has torment.
God, You haven’t given to us the spirit of fear but love, power and a sound mind.
We walk in the authority of Jesus Christ today.
In Jesus’ name, amen.