Being firmly convinced that marriage restoration is not very likely without unshakeable faith and confidence that God CAN and WILL restore our marriages, I often find myself asking the Lord to help me better understand why some men and women just can’t get to that point; no matter how much they want to and no matter how hard they try. The obvious answer is a lack of faith, which means it’s possible somehow to believe that Jesus died for our sins on the cross and that He rose again, without really fully understanding the AWESOME power of God. So perhaps those who tend to be double minded, in which case James 1:6-8 says we can’t expect to receive anything from God, need to focus more on understanding, believing and receiving His power. And we know how important that is, based on what Jesus said in Matthew 22:29, which says Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. And we obviously have to know and understand the power of God to believe the awesome promise in 1 Corinthians 6:14, which says By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Surely it isn’t easier to believe that God can raise the dead than it is to believe that He can bring life to what appears to be dead marriages!

Without understanding and believing in the awesome, omnipotent power of God, it isn’t possible to KNOW and BELIEVE that He has the ability to back up the promises in Romans 8:28-32, which says:
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
And we see that at work in the following verses:

2 Chronicles 20:4-6
The people of Judah came together to seek help from the LORD; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek him. Then Jehoshaphat stood up in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem at the temple of the LORD in the front of the new courtyard and said: “O LORD, God of our fathers, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you.

Psalm 66:3
Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you.

Job 12:13
“To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his.

Psalm 68:34
Proclaim the power of God, whose majesty is over Israel, whose power is in the skies.

Psalm 68:35
You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!

Psalm 77:14
You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.

Jeremiah 10:12
But God made the earth by his power; he founded the world by his wisdom and stretched out the heavens by his understanding.

Daniel 2:23
I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king.”

When we truly understand and rely on the power of God for EVERYTHING we want or need, it DRASTICALLY changes us. For instance, it frees us from the stress and pressure worry and fretting cause, because we finally understand that there’s NOTHING we can do to make or keep something from happening, and we have to trust and rely on God to do it. And we’re no longer under the control of the defense mechanisms we use to protect our pride, which naturally tells us not to let someone walk on us “like a doormat.” It’s ONLY through the power of the Lord that we can be freed from our old nature and transformed into the likeness of Christ, as 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 says, Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. When we study the personality and character of Jesus, which is the ONLY way to be transformed to His likeness, there’s no mistaking His meekness, humility, and servant’s heart, which is truly AMAZING in light of His AWESOME power, as we see in John 13:3-5, which says Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. Since it’s obviously so important, the following verses should help us better understand the nature and character of God’s power, and it’s significance in our lives as Christians:

1 Corinthians 1:18
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

1 Corinthians 2:3-5
I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.

Ephesians 3:7
I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power.

1 Peter 1:3-5
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

Ephesians 6:10
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

1 Corinthians 4:20
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.

2 Thessalonians 1:11
With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

2 Peter 1:3
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

Jude 1:25
to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forever more! Amen.

Revelation 4:11
“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”

And finally, as Romans 15:13 says, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Standing for marriage restoration is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do, and it’s just not possible without relying on the strength of the Lord. But when we put our faith in Him and learn to rely TOTALLY on HIS strength, we WILL be like the “Proverbs 31 Woman”, as described in Proverbs 31:25, which says She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

Unfortunately, when we’re in the midst of the storm, especially in the beginning of it, it’s hard to imagine laughing at or about anything, much less the days to come! But if we’d REALLY learn to draw our strength from the Lord and not to put our faith, trust or expectations in man, particularly our husbands, we would experience peace and strength, and, yes EVEN joy that would not be possible otherwise. And we would realize the truth of Philippians 4:13, which says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So perhaps some of the following verses will help us understand that we CAN do this and that we can do it with joy and confidence, because of the wisdom and promises they contain:

Psalm 118:8
i>It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.

Jeremiah 17:5
This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

Psalm 105:4
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

1 Chronicles 16:27
Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy in his dwelling place.

2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.

Psalm 118:14
The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

Psalm 68:35
You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!

Psalm 28:7-8
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

Psalm 59:16
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.

Psalm 118, is an awesome reminder of why we put our faith and trust in the Lord and NOT in man, and when we do that, we’ll understand the praises expressed in verses 16 and 17, which say The LORD’s right hand is lifted high; the LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!” I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done. So when we’re discouraged, reading it and the following verses will help remind us to turn to the Lord:

Psalm 119:28
My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.

Isaiah 40:29
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 58:11
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

It is my sincere hope and prayer that every woman standing for the restoration of her marriage will learn to live in the strength of the Lord and know His joy, so that Colossians 1:10-14 will become the reality of her life, which says And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. And Colossians 2:6-8, shows us how to make that possible, because it says So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. And we should always remember Revelation 5:12, which says In a loud voice they sang: “Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!” Then we’re able to live as instructed in Nehemiah 8:10, which says Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Regular visitors to the site know that I often refer to and provide links to messages from Dr. Creflo Dollar, whose TV broadcast I greatly appreciate and usually watch twice a day during the week. And a link to his daily broadcasts and website is even provided in the resource section of this site (Note: That link has since been removed due to Dr. Dollar’s teachings on divorce.). However, this past Thursday, May 25th, I was quite surprised by statements he made in his message (unfortunately the link is no longer available), How to Be Liberated From Hurt, about marriage and adultery that are contrary to what the Bible teaches. But that led me to more seriously study what the Bible actually teaches about the Lord’s covenants and what happens when we violate them, which is important for everyone standing for marriage restoration to understand.

In fairness, and in defense of Dr. Dollar, he did stray off his prepared text a bit at that point, and I’m sure it’s easy to say something we wouldn’t say if we were better prepared before talking about it. And very few preachers and teachers do as much study on the topic of marriage, divorce and remarriage as those of us who are personally affected by it. Just the same, Dr. Dollar stated that when a husband or wife commits adultery, the marriage covenant is broken and that the other party is then put in a position of deciding whether or not they want to renew the covenant, the same as deciding if they want to marry that person again. He said that’s what Paul meant when he said “If you be willing to dwell with them…or If you be pleased to dwell with…” that person, referring to the covenant having been broken by adultery. Then He even said that Jesus “Showed up to say your free to go…you’re not held in bondage in such cases“, because the covenant was broken by adultery. He further stated that it “Requires your decision to get it back again…a decision cranks that covenant up all over again”. Unfortunately, this is a fairly common opinion in the Christian church today, but that still doesn’t make it right, and there’s no basis for it in the Bible.

First, what Paul actually said in 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 (KJV) does not refer to adultery, because it was instructions given to unequally yoked Christians, saying But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. Besides, in that particular context, the implication would be that if our spouse commits adultery and still wants to “dwell” with us, leaving them is NOT an option, which is quite different than what Dr. Dollar said. And Jesus did not say we’re free to go and not under bondage when a spouse commits adultery. In fact, in Matthew 5:31-32,Jesus said “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. And Matthew 19:8-9 says Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Then in Mark 10:6-11, Jesus said “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.

Many Bible scholars believe the term “marital unfaithfulness” used here does NOT refer to adultery, but to an act that occurs during the period of betrothal BEFORE the marriage, and discovered on the wedding night. That’s because the original text uses two different words when referring to adultery and marital unfaithfulness (or fornication), even though some of the modern translations now use them interchangeably..

It was actually Paul who talked about living in peace in 1 Corinthians 7:15, But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. But once again, there’s NO mention of adultery or that the offended spouse has an “option” to leave the marriage or renew the covenant, and in the next verse he said How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Yet, a lot more to the point is what Paul said FIRST in verses 10 and 11, where he said To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. There are NO exceptions in that command, and Paul particularly made a point of stating that this was a COMMAND FROM THE LORD, which I’m not aware of him doing anywhere else; so it must have been pretty important. And since that’s the first thing he said on the subject of divorce or separation, everything else he said after that has to be considered in that context. And Paul obviously considered the admonition for a woman who is separated or divorced from her husband to remain unmarried (unless she is reconciled to her husband) very important, because he restated and further clarified it in the last two verses of the chapter, 39 and 40, saying A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God. So how in the world someone can believe that either Jesus or Paul taught that the marriage covenant is broken when a spouse commits adultery or that the offended spouse has the option to get a divorce and remarry, is beyond my ability to understand! In fact, Paul was so set on the exact opposite opinion that he AGAIN stated it and FURTHER clarified it in Romans 7:2-3, where he said For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man. That makes Paul’s opinion pretty clear, which was that death is the ONLY thing that breaks the covenant of marriage, and there seems to be no other reasonable conclusion. And when Paul referred to not being bound in verse 15, the Greek word he used was “DOULOO”, which refers to being a slave. But the Greek word he used in verse 39 was “Deo”, which refers to a mutual commitment or agreement, as by a contract, and that’s the same word he used in verse 27 and in Romans 7::2-3. Therefore, the ONLY “escape” clause found in what Jesus or Paul said about marriage, adultery, divorce and remarriage is that in their time, if someone was CAUGHT in the act of adultery, they were stoned to death, which obviously made the surviving spouse free to remarry.

Additionally, if someone commits adultery and the marriage covenant is broken without the other person’s knowledge, they wouldn’t be aware of the requirement for them to exercise their “option” to renew it, so they wouldn’t be married either! Obviously that’s not the way the Lord does things, because that would lead to TOTAL confusion and chaos, and the Bible tells us that God is not the author of confusion!

Hopefully, this effectively dispels the idea that adultery automatically voids, invalidates or destroys the covenant of marriage, but we still need to have a better understanding of how God views a covenant and what happens when it is broken or violated, which is NOT the same as being destroyed or made of no force and effect. So the following passages of scripture provide a better understanding of how the Lord feels about the importance of honoring His covenants, and what happens when we violate or break them:

Jeremiah 31:31-33 – “The time is coming,” declares the LORD, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them, ” declares the LORD. “This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the LORD. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.

Jeremiah 31:37 – This is what the LORD says: “Only if the heavens above can be measured and the foundations of the earth below be searched out will I reject all the descendants of Israel because of all they have done,” declares the LORD.

Jeremiah 33:20-22 – “This is what the LORD says: ‘If you can break my covenant with the day and my covenant with the night, so that day and night no longer come at their appointed time, then my covenant with David my servant—and my covenant with the Levites who are priests ministering before me—can be broken and David will no longer have a descendant to reign on his throne. I will make the descendants of David my servant and the Levites who minister before me as countless as the stars of the sky and as measureless as the sand on the seashore.’

Malachi 2:13-14 (AMP) – And this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears [shed by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives], and with [your own] weeping and crying out because the Lord does not regard your offering any more or accept it with favor at your hand. Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows].

Ezekiel 17:18-21 – He despised the oath by breaking the covenant. Because he had given his hand in pledge and yet did all these things, he shall not escape. ” ‘Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: As surely as I live, I will bring down on his head my oath that he despised and my covenant that he broke. I will spread my net for him, and he will be caught in my snare. I will bring him to Babylon and execute judgment upon him there because he was unfaithful to me. All his fleeing troops will fall by the sword, and the survivors will be scattered to the winds. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken.

The stark contrast between the blessings of obedience and the curses of disobedience are very graphically portrayed in Leviticus 26. Yet, even though the covenant was broken and violated by the unfaithfulness of the people, verses 44 and 45 show us that the Lord STILL considered and honored it as a VALID covenant, saying Yet in spite of this, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not reject them or abhor them so as to destroy them completely, breaking my covenant with them. I am the LORD their God. But for their sake I will remember the covenant with their ancestors whom I brought out of Egypt in the sight of the nations to be their God. I am the LORD.’ “ And we see again in Ezekiel 16, an awesome example of how even though God severely disciplines us when we break and violate His covenant with us, the covenant itself is NOT voided or invalidated by our sin against it. In fact, we see quite the contrary in verses 59 through 63, which say ” ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will deal with you as you deserve, because you have despised my oath by breaking the covenant. Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you. Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed when you receive your sisters, both those who are older than you and those who are younger. I will give them to you as daughters, but not on the basis of my covenant with you. So I will establish my covenant with you, and you will know that I am the LORD. Then, when I make atonement for you for all you have done, you will remember and be ashamed and never again open your mouth because of your humiliation, declares the Sovereign LORD.'”

How totally unsettling it would be if we could not be absolutely CERTAIN that the Lord’s covenants NEVER change and how sad it is for anyone to believe that our failure to keep faith with His covenants could EVER affect their validity. What do we have without the assurance and confidence that HIS covenants will NEVER change? Fortunately, Hebrews 13:8 assures us that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. And just as His love endures forever, so do His covenants, as we see in Deuteronomy 7:9, which says Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

Additionally, Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage addresses what the Bible teaches concerning adultery, divorce and remarriage in great detail.

As I read Psalm 25 this morning, I was struck by how much it applies to just about everyone standing for marriage restoration, because it expresses so much of what is in our hearts, and it reminds us that we MUST completely and confidently put our trust and faith in the Lord to deliver and restore us, and our marriages. And it also reminds me of one of my favorite passages of scripture, which is Psalm 37:4-6, because it says Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Praise the Lord whose goodness, mercy, faithfulness, righteousness and love endures forever!

Whenever we feel discouraged and our circumstances seem overwhelming, we should read Psalm 25 and be encouraged, so here it is:

To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD. Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land. The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you. Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!

It really breaks my heart to see how many Christian men get caught in the snare of adultery, especially those who have been called to the ministry of Jesus Christ. That’s why it’s SO important to recognize adultery as the devil’s trap, intended and designed to kill, steal and destroy our husbands, their testimonies, our marriages, and our homes, and keep them from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives. Proverbs 7 paints a rather vivid portrait of how Satan uses the adulteress to do his dirty work, so it’s VITALLY important that as their wives, we understand that standing for the restoration of our marriages includes standing in the gap for their deliverance and salvation. Which is just as important for women who are unequally yoked, or who got saved during this trial, because the devil certainly doesn’t want wives to lead their husbands to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, as taught in 1 Peter 3:1-6. Since prayer is the most effective weapon we have when standing in the gap for our husbands, and the ONLY weapon many of the FAM Fellowship members have, it’s very important for us to be diligent about praying, and the prayers we find in the Bible are probably the most effective and powerful.

First, we need to understand why our prayers are so important, why we pray, and the awesome power of prayer, which the following verses help us do, as well as teach us more about what the Lord says about prayer:

Jeremiah 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Luke 6:28
bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Mark 9:29
He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer. “

Matthew 21:22
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Luke 5:16
But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Hebrews 5:7
During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.

James 5:13-20
Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

The following passages of scripture are prayers in the New Testament, which we should pray for our husbands every day, many times a day, because when these prayers are answered, everything else we’re dealing with, including adultery, will be overcome and dealt with through the conviction, grace and power of the Holy Spirit. So take the time to insert your husband’s name, and make the changes needed to make them most applicable to your situation. Then print them out, and do your best to memorize them:

Ephesians 1:15-21
For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

Philippians 1:9-11 (AMP)
And this I pray: that your love may abound yet more and more and extend to its fullest development in knowledge and all keen insight [that your love may display itself in greater depth of acquaintance and more comprehensive discernment], So that you may surely learn to sense what is vital, and approve and prize what is excellent and of real value [recognizing the highest and the best, and distinguishing the moral differences], and that you may be untainted and pure and unerring and blameless [so that with hearts sincere and certain and unsullied, you may approach] the day of Christ [not stumbling nor causing others to stumble]. May you abound in and be filled with the fruits of righteousness (of right standing with God and right doing) which come through Jesus Christ (the Anointed One), to the honor and praise of God [that His glory may be both manifested and recognized].

Colossians 1:3-14
We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints—the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God’s grace in all its truth. You learned it from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant, who is a faithful minister of Christ on our behalf, and who also told us of your love in the Spirit. For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12
With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

And once we’ve committed ourselves to praying for our husbands and standing in the gap for them, we NEVER stop, and we MUST have an expectant attitude, believing that the Lord IS answering our prayers, as illustrated in the following verses:

1 Timothy 5:5
The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.

Luke 18:1-8
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’ ” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Most of us are very familiar with the 23rd Psalm, but we probably haven’t taken enough time to study it so we can fully understand its awesome promises, and rely on them during the difficult times experienced while standing for marriage restoration. Therefore, it’s a good idea to go through Psalm 23 verse by verse to see how it applies to us as we stand for our marriages. That way we’re more likely to rely on it and claim it’s power when the devil comes to convince us that marriage restoration is not possible, or that we can’t do this anymore, which is one of his FAVORITE lies!

Psalm 23:1 (AMP)
THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.
The Bible is filled with verses confirming that the Lord is our Shepherd, and that He will ALWAYS guide and protect us, and meet every need. But since this is a difficult time to rest in the confidence and assurance that our needs will be met, it’s very important for us to read and BELIEVE the following passages of scripture so we WILL rely on Him:

Hebrews 13:20-21
May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Jeremiah 31:10
“Hear the word of the LORD, O nations; proclaim it in distant coastlands: ‘He who scattered Israel will gather them and will watch over his flock like a shepherd.’

Jeremiah 23:4
I will place shepherds over them who will tend them, and they will no longer be afraid or terrified, nor will any be missing,” declares the LORD.

Isaiah 58:11
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Psalm 3:3
But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.

Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 5:12
For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

2 Samuel 22:31
“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.

Isaiah 31:5
Like birds hovering overhead, the LORD Almighty will shield Jerusalem; he will shield it and deliver it, he will ‘pass over’ it and will rescue it.”

Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 140:7
O Sovereign LORD, my strong deliverer, who shields my head in the day of battle-

Isaiah 63:11-14
Then his people recalled the days of old, the days of Moses and his people—where is he who brought them through the sea, with the shepherd of his flock? Where is he who set his Holy Spirit among them, who sent his glorious arm of power to be at Moses’ right hand, who divided the waters before them, to gain for himself everlasting renown, who led them through the depths? Like a horse in open country, they did not stumble; like cattle that go down to the plain, they were given rest by the Spirit of the LORD. This is how you guided your people to make for yourself a glorious name.

Nehemiah 9:20
You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst.

Psalm 84:11
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

Psalm 23:2 (AMP)
He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters.
Sometimes the Lord has to MAKE us lie down, because we get so busy fighting the battles of life that we’re too busy to hear Him, or we won’t let Him be the Lord of our lives, especially when we put other things or people before Him. But once He gets our attention and we turn to Him, He is faithful to give us rest, and to protect and bless us, as the following verses assure us:

Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Deuteronomy 12:10
But you will cross the Jordan and settle in the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance, and he will give you rest from all your enemies around you so that you will live in safety.

Psalm 1:3
He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 23:3 (AMP)
He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him–not for my earning it, but] for His name’s sake.
When we turn our hearts back to the Lord and allow Him to be the Lord of everything in our lives, He will strengthen, restore and refresh us with blessings that overflow, as confirmed in the following verses:

Jeremiah 31:25
I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”

Acts 3:19-20
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you—even Jesus.

Isaiah 55:6-13
Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”

Psalm 23:4 (AMP)
Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.
Most women agree that standing for marriage restoration, especially when their husbands want nothing to do with them, is the most difficult thing they’ve ever done, so it’s not unusual to experience moments of fear or doubt, and to feel like we can’t go on. That’s when we REALLY HAVE to put our faith in the Lord and rely on the awesome and powerful promises in the following verses:

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 35:3-4
Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”

Hosea 2:15 (NLT)
I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.

Psalm 23:5 (AMP)
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.
The Lord is more than able to deal with our enemies or anyone or anything that comes against us, our husbands, and our marriages. By asking Him to anoint our heads with oil, we are asking Him to consecrate and anoint us for the purpose to which He called us. And when He does, He WILL provide ALL that is necessary to perfect His plan and purpose in our lives, and bless us abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine, as we see in the following verses:

Romans 8:31
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Psalm 143:12
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.

1 Chronicles 17:8
I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you. Now I will make your name like the names of the greatest men of the earth.

Zephaniah 3:20
At that time I will gather you; at that time I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the earth when I restore your fortunes before your very eyes,” says the LORD.

Exodus 40:9
“Take the anointing oil and anoint the tabernacle and everything in it; consecrate it and all its furnishings, and it will be holy.

Ephesians 3:16-21
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Psalm 23:6 (AMP)
Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.
The Lord will NEVER leave us or forsake us, and His UNFAILING love will always endure forever, as the following verses tell us:

Psalm 6:4
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.

Psalm 52:8
But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.

Psalm 90:14
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Psalm 21:7
For the king trusts in the LORD; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.

Isaiah 54:10
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Exodus 15:13
“In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.

Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 136:3
Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.

And whenever the devil tries to make us doubt our loving Shepherd’s amazing power and faithfulness, we can read Psalm 136 for a quick reminder and reassurance!

One of the biggest mistakes and most destructive habits for anyone standing for marriage restoration is ignoring God’s word and relying on our own understanding, because Proverbs 3:5 promises, Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. So trying to apply our limited human understanding and reason to things we can’t possibly understand and make sense of, is one of the most useless and futile things we can do. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, put it best in Ecclesiastes 8:16-17, when he said When I applied my mind to know wisdom and to observe man’s labor on earth—his eyes not seeing sleep day or night- then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it.

There’s no way we can possibly know or comprehend all that God has in HIS mind and plan for us, as confirmed in 1 Corinthians 2:9-11, which says However, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” —but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. And that’s further confirmed in Ephesians 3:19-21, which says and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Instead of trying to figure out what our husbands are thinking or doing, and what God is going to do, we need to be a whole lot more focused on Romans 12:2, which tells us Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. And Philippians 4:6-7 tells us Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

We have to remember and confess the Lord’s promise in Numbers 23:19, which says God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? God knows EVERYTHING, and we know nothing, especially what the future holds, as Ecclesiastes 8:7 tells us, Since no man knows the future, who can tell him what is to come? Yet we waste SO much time worrying about what’s happening and what will happen, instead of trusting God to handle everything and to fulfill every one of His promises in our lives. We’d make this time and process so much easier to bear if we’d remember this prayer from Jeremiah 10:23, where he said I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. And when Satan tries to tell us otherwise, we need to stop him dead in his tracks by speaking these verses back to him out loud:

Proverbs 21:1
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever
he pleases.
Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 20:24
A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?
Proverbs 21:30
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.

When we attempt to apply human understanding and reasoning to the situations we face, we are not taking into consideration what the Lord told us in Isaiah 55:8-11, which says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. And if we fail to rely on God’s promises and to call on Him, we can’t count on this awesome promise in Jeremiah 33:3, ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ And we can’t ever forget this powerful principle in 2 Thessalonians 1:11, which says With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. According to that, our faith will prompt good purposes and acts to be fulfilled by God’s power! So when we restrict or expect God to act within the very limited confines of human reasoning and understanding, it’s very likely that we’re also hindering the power needed to answer our prayers.

I wonder how many Christians read the above verses, recognizing how truly awesome they are, without understanding how significant the word “if” is, especially in the context of our faith. The Lord had to deal with me some time ago about the word “if”, and challenged me concerning the difference between what I profess to believe and how it gets walked out in the reality of my life. For most of us, there’s an undeniable disconnect between the words of faith we speak and how we live our lives, especially when it comes to how we deal with the inevitable problems and challenges we have to face.

Jesus was probably talking about literally moving mountains, but there’s no doubt He meant for us to apply it figuratively too, and anyone dealing with a troubled marriage or divorce knows all about figurative mountains! But do we have the faith to speak to them and move them, and if we don’t, how do we get it? The answer to that is found in Romans 10:17, which says Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. That means the only way to have the faith needed to move the mountains we face when standing for marriage restoration is to seriously and diligently study the Bible, and there is a direct connection between the level of faith we walk out in our lives and the amount of time we spend reading and studying God’s word. It’s just not possible to walk with the faith and endurance, not to mention the grace and unconditional love, necessary to get us through this very difficult time in our lives, and through to the victorious restoration of our marriages, without spending quality time studying the word of God.

Hebrews 11:1 (NLT) leaves little doubt of what God expects from us in terms of walking and living by faith, because it says What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. Then 2 Corinthians 5:7 says that we live by faith, and not by sight, and once we attain that level of faith, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING can shake it, or the confidence we have that the Lord will bring what we’re praying for into being. And the only way to get that kind of faith is to continually study God’s word so we know and believe His promises.

While it is natural to believe and react to the things we see and hear, or what the world tells us is truth, the faith needed to move the mountains coming against us and the sanctity of our marriages requires us to act in the supernatural grace and power of God. Then when we inevitably catch ourselves responding to the things we see and hear that tend to convince us of something other than the promises we have in God’s word, we have to ask ourselves whether or not we REALLY believe the word of God, and IF we do, how does our response line up with what we say we believe? I just use “If!” to remind me that if I believe even half of what I say I believe, I have to live my life very differently than what comes naturally through my flesh. That helps me put things in the right perspective, based on what I know God tells me and the promises and confidence I have in Him through what His word teaches. Then I can tell myself “that doesn’t matter,” no matter how impossible or unlikely the circumstances may appear.

If this is an area you find yourself continually struggling with, you probably need to be spending a lot more time studying the Bible, and listening to more praise and worship music, and more preachers and teachers on the radio and television, and keep praying for the Lord to give you a greater measure of faith. Also, make sure you are not diluting the word of God in your life by filling your ears and eyes with the trash of this world by watching secular television or by associating with people who don’t support you or agree with the stand you’ve taken for the restoration of your marriage.

Colossians 4:2 tells us to devote ourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Devoting ourselves to prayer means continually praying no matter how impossible or hopeless the situation looks and to keep praying no matter how long it takes. Then we need to be watching for evidence that God is answering our prayers by looking at the things going on around us that confirm His hand at work in our situation, and we WILL find the evidence when we really start looking for it and expecting it. In addition, we are to give the Lord thanks for what we see Him doing on our behalf, even before we see or understand what He is doing, because there are so many times when He is working in ways that we can’t possibly know, so we have to expect and believe that, even when it’s not visible in the natural realm.

So when everything else around you threatens to destroy or weaken your faith by convincing you that the world is spinning out of control, and that the restoration of your marriage is impossible or hopeless, just think “If!”, and remember Psalm 46:10, which says “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” When we consider the awesome power and might of our Almighty God, and how much He loves us and that He is on our side, what else do we really need to know? Romans 8:31 says it best, by asking “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?” We just need to be still and rest in the Lord, with absolute confidence that He is more than able to do all that we ask Him to do, and that NOTHING is impossible for us IF we really have faith no bigger than a mustard seed!

Dr. Charles Stanley delivered an awesome message about walking in faith last October, which I strongly encourage anyone struggling with faith to watch. Since the Bible tells us that the Lord is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, it’s very encouraging to be reminded of how He rewarded and blessed the faithful obedience of so many of the people written about in the Old Testament, because He WILL do the same for us today!

While working on a post recently, I came across a few verses instructing us to seek and PURSUE peace, and it’s been on my mind quite a bit since then. Most of us already understand that Christians are called to be “peacemakers”, based on Matthew 5:9, which says Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. And James 3:18 says Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. But being blessed or rewarded for doing something is VERY different than having the Lord COMMAND us to do it, and that’s what I’ve been pondering, along with how it applies to marriage restoration.. The challenge is understanding how this principle works with some of the other important principles of marriage restoration, such as REALLY letting our husbands go when they want to leave, while still standing for our marriages in obedience to the Lord. And there IS a BIG difference between pursuing peace and pursuing our husbands and the restoration of our marriages, which is where the letting go while we’re standing comes in. This concept is illustrated in 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NLT), which says (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a Christian insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is not required to stay with them, for God wants his children to live in peace.) And the reason that is SO important is seen in the next verse which says You wives must remember that your husbands might be converted because of you. And you husbands must remember that your wives might be converted because of you. And this applies equally to saved husbands who leave, because their relationships with the Lord obviously need to be restored too, so that’s just conversion of another kind.

One of the most difficult things to understand as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is that we MUST be standing in obedience to Christ, and not for the sake of the outcome we desire, which I know is a difficult concept to grasp and understand. But the difference is where our focus is. Is our focus on being obedient and pleasing the Lord, or is it on getting our husbands back? When our focus is on getting our husbands back, then everything we see or hear that indicates that it’s not happening throws us into a tailspin. But if we’re standing for our marriages in obedience to the word of God, then it doesn’t matter what we see or hear, because we KNOW that the Lord has it covered and that HE CAN handle it. ALL we have to do is focus on obedience to His word and leave EVERYTHING else up to him. We don’t have to know the when, where and how of it all, and we don’t have to worry about what our husbands are or ar not doing, only what we’re doing. We just have to know that when we’re obedient and trust Him, God will bless and protect us AND give us the desire of our hearts..

Most of us have to admit that in the early days, weeks and months after the onset of our marital problems, letting our husbands go and pursuing peace was the LAST thing on our minds! In fact, most of the FAM Fellowship members express a great deal of regret concerning their behavior after their husbands first left, which is something I can certainly relate to personally. Unfortunately, we don’t get to go back and apply what we’ve learned now to those times, but we can learn from our mistakes and focus on applying what the Lord teaches us to our lives today, and one of the most important principles we need to apply is seeking and pursuing peace. If our husbands want to leave, we can not “pursue” them or restoration, but the Lord does command us to seek and pursue peace. So let’s see what pursue means, because it is a very active word, as seen from the following definitions:

transitive verb
1. to follow in an effort to reach or catch; chase.
2. to strive to accomplish or obtain.
3. to spend time doing; work at; practice, as a field of study or a hobby.

intransitive verb
1. to follow someone or something in an effort to reach or catch; chase.

So we have to figure out how to pursue peace without pursuing our husbands and the restoration of our marriages, and that’s where things get a little sticky. It’s obvious that pursuing peace does not include trying to make our husbands pay for leaving us, either in terms of taking them to the cleaners financially, trying to force them to honor their responsibilities and commitments, or making them feel guilty for what they’ve done or are not doing. And that’s a pretty tall order for most of us, and does require a LOT of faith in the Lord and a huge helping of His grace!. It means being a lot more humble than we’ve probably ever been before and it means making a conscious decision NOT to let our natural defense mechanisms kick in and cause us to put up walls and harden our hearts. This is a very important time to ask ourselves if we REALLY love our husbands as much as we think we do, and then read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which says Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I haven’t met one woman yet who could honestly read those verses and say that she’s demonstrated that kind of unconditional love toward her husband. Yet that is what the Lord calls us to do as their wives and it is what we have to focus on. Keeping that in mind will help us as we make a determination to seek and PURSUE peace as the Lord also commands us to do, in accordance with the following passages:

Psalm 34:14
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

1 Peter 3
10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.
11 He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

2 Timothy 2
22 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.
24 And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,
26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

That last verse is SO important, because it reminds us that our husbands are not our enemies. The devil is our enemy, and he’s out to kill, steal and destroy us, our husbands our marriages, and any hope our children have for a future with happiness. While the specifics of seeking and pursuing peace vary in each situation, a lot of the basics are described in the above passages of scripture, and if we pray for the Lord’s guidance, He will show us how we can pursue peace in our relationships with our husbands, which is especially important when children are involved. And reading all of Psalm 34 and 1 Peter 3,> will probably help too.

It’s VERY important for us to share the word of our testimony when the Lord gives us something to praise Him for, because if we demonstrate we won’t use the things He has done for us for His praise and glory, I’m not so sure we can count on Him to give us much more, based on Luke 16:10 (AMP), which says 10He who is faithful in a very little [thing] is faithful also in much, and he who is dishonest and unjust in a very little [thing] is dishonest and unjust also in much. And 1 Corinthians 4:2 says Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. And we know that EVERYTHING God does is for the praise and glory of Jesus, as we see in Ephesians 1:9-12 (NKJV), which says having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory. So let’s not risk missing out on all of the blessings He has stored up for us because we failed to give Him appropriate praise and glory and to allow the word of our testimony to be used to overcome the devil in accordance with Revelation 12:10-11, which says Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

Many of our regular visitors and the FAM Fellowship members know I fasted over the weekend in support of one of the ladies that had a significant event coming up last Saturday and possibly Sunday, and it’s not that unusual or that difficult for me to fast for three or four days. However, Saturday morning around the time of the event in question, I was overcome with the shakes and a strange stomach discomfort, not like anything I’ve experienced before, and I really thought I’d have to eat. But I kept praying and reminding the Lord that I was fasting to loosen the chains, tear down the strongholds, and break the yokes, and that I couldn’t give up. That really surprised me, because I hadn’t experienced that in any of my earlier fasts, and then something similar happened again later Saturday afternoon. Since this was so unusual and God had laid some serious issues on my heart to fast about, I knew this was a form of spiritual warfare, which meant I also knew that if I could withstand it, there WOULD be breakthroughs. And there were!

The particular event on Saturday that initiated my fast in the first place, went a lot better than we could have expected or imagined, and definitely proved the truth of God’s promise in Ephesians 3:20-21, which says Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. God used that event to reveal to the FAM member involved that a lot of things are totally different than what she had believed, and as we know from what John 8:32 tells us, the truth has the power to set us free! Then, by the end of the day Saturday, it appeared that things would not go as we were hoping and praying for on Sunday, so there was a little disappointment about that, but we just claimed the promise found in Romans 8:28 and accepted that God would work even that for good in ways we could not know or understand. Well, we didn’t have to wait very long to see how true that proved to be, because we saw the Lord’s hand at work in an amazing way on Sunday, which could not have happened if what we were hoping for had occurred! Some of you may recall that we also fasted for three days for the salvation of one of our FAM member’s husband’s Easter morning, and that he was saved, praise the Lord! Well, as I was praying when I began that fast, the Lord gave me a word concerning him, saying that He was tearing down the walls of resistance and breaking up the ground, which I believed meant that once the seed was planted in him, it would bring forth fruit. I figured that must be a pretty good thing to pray since it came from the Lord, so I’ve started praying it and encouraging the FAM members to do the same. There’s NO doubt in my mind that what we saw in this particular FAM member’s situation is evidence that the Lord is definitely tearing down the walls of resistance and breaking up the ground, which He keeps confirming over and over again each day!

Then I received a phone call from another FAM member about an event I hadn’t been aware of, which gave her a great deal of encouragement, because her husband attended a special church event for her daughter. He even told her he had to leave and couldn’t stay for the whole event, but after he left, he came back and stayed for the rest of the service! And they even hugged each other for the first time in a very long time! So we pray that those walls of resistance are being torn down by the Lord and that the ground is being broken up!

Then one of the other FAM members had a MAJOR breakthrough in her situation involving a confession she needed to make to her husband, and had even attempted once before, but he had stopped her, saying he didn’t want to know. She really did need to make the confession though, because of how the devil was using it to torment her, but we were in agreement and prayed that if it was something that needed to be done, the Lord would create the opportunity, which He CERTAINLY did! Her husband actually asked her to tell him Saturday and told her the reason he wanted to know it now was so he could use it against her to get a divorce! Talk about a test of faith and obedience! That certainly had to be one! But the good news is that she was faithful and obedient and the conversation that followed is something I believe the Lord will use to begin the healing process in their marriage, and certainly not something the devil wanted! In response to her heartfelt confession and request for forgiveness, her husband also revealed a lot of deep emotions she was not aware of, and which don’t sound at all like the heart of a man set on divorcing his wife and leaving his family!

Then another awesome breakthrough involved a woman who is not a FAM member, but someone one of our members recently led to the Lord and who feels like part of the family just the same. She’s a widow with three children, who recently won a VERY BITTER court battle over their custody and visitation rights with her mother-in-law, who blames her for the death of her son. The FAM member had confronted her Friday night about issues of bitterness and unforgiveness, which resulted in a truly amazing and awesome praise report Saturday! That was the day the first monthly supervised visitation took place, at the cost of $250.00 for the mother-in-law. This woman was SO convicted by what she read in the Bible about forgiveness that when she got to the visitation, she went up to her mother-in-law and hugged her neck, and asked for and offered forgiveness, and told her that this would be the only supervised visitation, that from now on, she was welcomed to come to the house, and that once she felt more comfortable about it, the mother-in-law would be allowed to take the children to her home! It’s difficult to know how amazing this is without knowing all of the details, but for obvious reasons, that’s not possible here, but the results are truly amazing! The healing and restoration of that family is nothing short of a miracle. In fact, the mother-in-law has since helped her daughter-in-law find a home for rent that’s very close to the FAM member’s home. So now her family will be able to move from a two bedroom place to a four bedroom home with unbelievably low rent, and the owner is someone the mother-in-law knows and referred her to! God is just SO AWESOME!

Hopefully this testimony will encourage those of you standing for the restoration of your marriages to use one of the most effective weapons we have at our disposal in the spiritual warfare we’re waging to save our marriages, which is fasting. And you can learn more about that by reading More About Biblical Fasting.

This morning while talking to one of the FAM members about how something her husband said had upset and discouraged her, something she said really stuck with me, which was “The devil is so mean.” Obviously, there isn’t much to be said in response to that, other than acknowledging how true it is! But it does remind me how often we fail to take Satan seriously by fully understanding that our total destruction is the only goal of his existence, and, more importantly, that he has NO power in our lives unless we GIVE it to him. So this seems like a good time to remind everyone standing for marriage restoration of Satan’s purpose and how he works, and how to defeat and overcome him.

We see the devil described as our enemy and his purpose very clearly and graphically spelled out in 1 Peter 5:8 (AMP), which says Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. But then verses 9 to 11 tell the rest of the story and how to respond to his attack, which tells us to Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset–rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the dominion (power, authority, rule) forever and ever. Amen (so be it). That makes it clear that only our faith and confidence in the Lord will bring us through and protect us from the attacks of the devil, and that we have to wait and trust Him to rescue and deliver us, which He CAN and WILL do because He has ALL dominion, power and authority! And that’s confirmed in the following passage from Ephesians 1:
18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,
19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength,
20 which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms,
21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.
22 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church,
23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

Then this passage from Ephesians 6 reveals even more details about the armor the Lord provides so we can withstand the attack of the devil, as well as reminding us that our fight is not with our husbands, because this is a spiritual battle:
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

So a critically important part of winning our battle against the devil is being alert and recognizing his attacks when they come, which ALWAYS begins with planting deceptive thoughts in our minds. And we certainly won’t win the spiritual warfare involved in marriage restoration by doing things the way the world tells us too, as the following passage from 2 Corinthians 10 so clearly warns:
2 I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world.
3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.
4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Then if we have ANY doubt about how the word of God is used to defeat the devil and overcome the weapons of his warfare, we just have to read the following passage from Matthew 4 to learn from the example Jesus set for us about defeating Satan’s temptations when He comes to deceive us:
1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.
2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.
3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”
4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”
5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.
6 “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: ” ‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'”
7 Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'”
8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.
9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”
10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'”
11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.
I love this passage of scripture, because it shows us that when we answer the devil with the word of God, he WILL leave us and we’ll be attended by angels! I also find it very interesting that Jesus didn’t bother reminding Satan who he was and that He already had everything he was offering, something we forget so much of the time. And what nerve the devil had to try to tempt or deceive Jesus with scripture, which means he’ll do the same thing to us! But Jesus didn’t even try to argue with His adversary, He just simply quoted scripture to the devil, who finally left without so much as another word! Since the Lord deals with Satan on our behalf when we put our faith and trust in His word, and confess it, it is SO important to KNOW what the Bible says so it will come to our minds when we need it.

Another passage of scripture that shows us how important our words are when it comes to spiritual warfare and defeating the devil is from Revelation 12, which says:
9 The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.
10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.
11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.
12 Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.”
It’s VERY important for us to understand that the words of our testimony are not just those we intentionally speak to praise, honor, and give glory to the Lord, but EVERY word spoken out of our mouth IS the word of our testimony. And the words we speak have the power of life and death, and we WILL eat the fruit of them, as Proverbs 18:21 (AMP) tells us, Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].

The GOOD NEWS is that Jesus came to give us victory and authority over Satan, of which He assured us in John 10:10 (AMP), when He said (The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). And He even further assured us of the authority and power He gives us to defeat the devil in Luke 10:17-19, which says The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.” He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. And then again in Matthew 16:18-19 (NKJV), which says And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” And one of my very favorite verses, which I often use in prayer is Proverbs 21:30, because it promises that There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. And that obviously covers EVERYTHING! That means we just need to remember one of my other favorite verses, which is Romans 8:28, because it promises And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. So when we truly love the Lord and are living our lives according to HIS will, we’re able to walk and live in the peace and victory Jesus died to give us if we truly believe these verses and what His word tells us.

Anyone standing for marriage restoration is probably already familiar with the passage of scripture from Malachi 2:13-16, but might understand and appreciate it even more from the Amplified Bible, which says:
And this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears [shed by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives], and with [your own] weeping and crying out because the Lord does not regard your offering any more or accept it with favor at your hand. Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
When we read these verses, there can be NO doubt that the Lord considers separation, adultery, divorce and adulterous remarriage evil, which is further confirmed in 1 Peter 3:7, which says Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. So a very important question to answer in our situations is how to overcome this evil, which the Bible has a lot to say about.

Unfortunately for most of us, when we look back at our initial reactions and responses when our husbands or wives left or began adulterous relationships, we probably have to admit that we’ve done just about everything wrong, because God’s answer in Romans 12:19-21 says:
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

So the following verses provide practical advice about how to put this very important principle of marriage restoration to work in our situations, which means we have to make sure we understand them and put them into practice:

Proverbs 11:27
He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.

Proverbs 14:22
Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 25:23
As a north wind brings rain, so a sly tongue brings angry looks.

Proverbs 17:14
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.

Proverbs 25:15
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Proverbs 15:30
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.

Luke 6:27-28
“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Matthew 11:29
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

1 Peter 3:1-4
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

1 Timothy 6:11
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

1 Peter 3:9-11
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.

Psalm 34:14
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

Philippians 4:6-8
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

We thank You, Lord, for godly mothers, without whom we would not be.
And who everything we do, through their eyes of love they see.
We thank You, Lord, for godly mothers and all the sacrifices they make.
Most of which they do for our sake.
We thank You, Lord, for godly mothers who keep us from alarm.
And do their best to protect us from harm.
We thank You, Lord, for godly mothers and the support they give us.
Even for the times when they make such a fuss.
We thank You, Lord, for godly mothers and the encouragement they provide.
And for their hope and expectations too great to hide.
We thank You, Lord, for godly mothers, who leave no need unmet.
And for the awesome example they set.
We thank You, Lord, for godly mothers and every prayer they pray.
As they seek Your guidance from day to day.
And we thank You, Lord, for godly mothers and their unconditional love.
Which we know was sent by You from heaven above.

Well, it’s certainly a mouthful to say that pride hinders marriage restoration, but if we’re honest, most of us have to admit that it was pride that caused a lot of the problems in our marriages in the first place. Most of us have to admit that there was some area in our marriage, where we didn’t think our husband was treating us right. Or we didn’t like something he was doing or not doing, or something he wanted us to do, and we let him know EXACTLY how we felt about it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “I couldn’t let him treat me like a doormat.” or “I didn’t deserve to be treated that way.” That kind of attitude and the pride behind it is what causes trouble in many marriages, and it WILL keep them from being restored too. If we say we want marriage restoration but are not willing to examine ourselves for the changes we need to make, such as overcoming destructive attitudes of pride, we are not ready to stand for marriage restoration.

The Bible is so clear about how destructive pride is and how much the Lord hates it, and the lengths He will go to in order to destroy it. In fact, it’s more likely than not, that our marriages fell apart because of our pride and unwillingness to live with our husbands in accordance with His word as revealed in 1 peter 3:1-7, which says:
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Since Being submissive to our husbands, winning them over without a word, and recognizing that the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is worth so much more than our outward beauty defies our prideful nature, many women won’t keep reading, and probably won’t experience marriage restoration either. But we can’t turn to the Lord and call on Him to help us, and say we’re putting our hope in Him, if we’re not willing to do things HIS way, instead of our own way or the world’s. So when we’re finally ready to examine ourselves and root out the pride that abides in most of us, reading the following verses can help us understand what a hindrance it is when we’re standing for the restoration of our marriages:

Proverbs 13:10
Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 29:23 (NKJV)
A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.

Proverbs 16:18 (NKJV)
Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.

1 John 2:16 (NKJV)
For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.

Mark 7:21-23 (NKJV)
For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”

Daniel 5:20
But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory.

Jeremiah 49:16
The terror you inspire and the pride of your heart have deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks, who occupy the heights of the hill. Though you build your nest as high as the eagle’s, from there I will bring you down,” declares the LORD.

Jeremiah 13:9-11
“This is what the LORD says: ‘In the same way I will ruin the pride of Judah and the great pride of Jerusalem. These wicked people, who refuse to listen to my words, who follow the stubbornness of their hearts and go after other gods to serve and worship them, will be like this belt—completely useless! For as a belt is bound around a man’s waist, so I bound the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah to me,’ declares the LORD, ‘to be my people for my renown and praise and honor. But they have not listened.’

Jeremiah 48:28-30
Abandon your towns and dwell among the rocks, you who live in Moab. Be like a dove that makes its nest at the mouth of a cave. “We have heard of Moab’s pride—her overweening pride and conceit, her pride and arrogance and the haughtiness of her heart. I know her insolence but it is futile,” declares the LORD, “and her boasts accomplish nothing.

Amos 6:8
The Sovereign LORD has sworn by himself—the LORD God Almighty declares: “I abhor the pride of Jacob and detest his fortresses; I will deliver up the city and everything in it.”

Ezekiel 7:9-10 (NKJV)
‘ My eye will not spare, Nor will I have pity; I will repay you according to your ways, And your abominations will be in your midst. Then you shall know that I am the LORD who strikes. ‘ Behold, the day! Behold, it has come! Doom has gone out; The rod has blossomed, Pride has budded.

Job 33:16-18
he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, to turn man from wrongdoing and keep him from pride, to preserve his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword.

2 Chronicles 32:26 (NKJV)
Then Hezekiah humbled himself for the pride of his heart, he and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, so that the wrath of the LORD did not come upon them in the days of Hezekiah.

As women standing for marriage restoration, we have to humble ourselves before the Lord and ask Him to deal with the pride in our hearts, and ask Him for the grace, wisdom and strength we need to humble ourselves by submitting to our husbands with the respect and honor our obedience to Him requires, as we see in Ephesians 5:22-27, which says:
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless..
Then when we demonstrate our trust and faith in the Lord with such obedience, we can rely on His awesome promise in Psalm 37:4-6, which says:
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

The term “spiritual warfare” is often used when talking about standing for marriage restoration, and we all know from personal experience that we’re in a battle, probably the most difficult battle we’ve ever faced, but do we really KNOW that the battle does in fact belong to the Lord? Do we truly understand that this is a battle we can’t win in and of our own strength and that the ONLY way we’ll be victorious is to rely on the Lord’s protection and power?

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10, which says “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Being still means being QUIET and DOING NOTHING! And KNOWING that He is God means recognizing and acknowledging His TOTAL omnipotence and power, and that There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD., as Proverbs 21:30 tells us. We have to reach a point in our relationship with the Lord where that is something we know in the very marrow of our being, because that’s the only way we’ll experience the kind of peace that transcends understanding, and what Philippians 4:6-7 teaches, which is Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. So we have to decide whether or not we believe the Lord and His awesome promise in Exodus 34:10, which says Then the LORD said: “I am making a covenant with you. Before all your people I will do wonders never before done in any nation in all the world. The people you live among will see how awesome is the work that I, the LORD, will do for you. Allowing us to stand in faith and obedience to Him for the restoration of our marriages only to let us down, certainly doesn’t qualify for an awesome work or wonder, so if we even entertain that thought, we’re calling the Lord a liar, and Numbers 23:19 tells us God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

Here are some of the passages of scripture that reassure us that our battles are not our own, and that we can rely on the Lord to fight and win them and make us victorious:

Proverbs 21:31
The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD.

2 Chronicles 20:17
You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’ “

Hosea 1:7
I will show love to the house of Judah; and I will save them—not by bow, sword or battle, or by horses and horsemen, but by the LORD their God.”

Numbers 10:9
When you go into battle in your own land against an enemy who is oppressing you, sound a blast on the trumpets. Then you will be remembered by the LORD your God and rescued from your enemies.

Isaiah 31
3 But the Egyptians are men and not God; their horses are flesh and not spirit. When the LORD stretches out his hand, he who helps will stumble, he who is helped will fall; both will perish together.
4 This is what the LORD says to me: “As a lion growls, a great lion over his prey—and though a whole band of shepherds is called together against him, he is not frightened by their shouts or disturbed by their clamor—so the LORD Almighty will come down to do battle on Mount Zion and on its heights.
5 Like birds hovering overhead, the LORD Almighty will shield Jerusalem; he will shield it and deliver it, he will ‘pass over’ it and will rescue it.”

2 Chronicles 20:15
He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

1 Samuel 17:47
All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

Isaiah 42
12 Let them give glory to the LORD and proclaim his praise in the islands.
13 The LORD will march out like a mighty man, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies.
14 “For a long time I have kept silent, I have been quiet and held myself back. But now, like a woman in childbirth, I cry out, I gasp and pant.
15 I will lay waste the mountains and hills and dry up all their vegetation; I will turn rivers into islands and dry up the pools.
16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

2 Chronicles 13:12
God is with us; he is our leader. His priests with their trumpets will sound the battle cry against you. Men of Israel, do not fight against the LORD, the God of your fathers, for you will not succeed.”

When we doubt that the Lord is on our side and fighting this battle for us, we need to remember the following verses from Romans 8:
30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
So the battle REALLY does belong to the Lord!