It’s SO important for us to realize and understand that EVERY decision we make has direct bearing on the restoration of our marriages, so I encourage you to listen to the series Joyce Myer began yesterday about Developing Godly Character. As usual, she doesn’t mince words, but there are times when we have to hear the truth to be set free of our bad habits, which CAN keep God from moving in our lives, so pleas listen to Developing Godly Character – Part II, March 14th and Developing Godly Character – Part I, March 13th.

Every man and woman standing for marriage restoration can relate to how difficult it is to overcome the natural inclination to give in to pride and prideful anger, and I’m sure most of us can also testify to the absolute disaster it ALWAYS caused. The following verses demonstrate why they’re so deadly when we’re seeking marriage restoration.

Proverbs 13:10 (NKJV)
10 By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 29:23
A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

As men and women standing for the restoration of our marriages, wisdom, honor, and the avoidance of strife and anger, are the things we want and need, but often seem so unable to attain. That’s why we need to examine our hearts to see if we’re walking in the spirit, which is apparent when we demonstrate God’s unconditional love; or if we’re too often controlled by our flesh, and react in pride and anger. Since NOTHING good EVER comes of that, we MUST focus on overcoming it, because it can and will stop marriage restoration dead in its tracks.

As difficult as it may seem, we CAN overcome and avoid the destruction our pride and anger cause, by understanding and putting the following verses from Ephesians 6 into practice:
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

We’ll get into this in a lot more detail in this week’s Restoration Principles, but I’d be remiss not to also mention 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, which simplifies where this battle begins, and that is with our thoughts, which we MUST take just a minute to consider and control BEFORE we open our mouths or act when our pride or feelings are wounded and hurt:
3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.
4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Just remember…EVERYTHING we SAY and DO glorifies Christ or the devil, so take just a moment to consider who you will glorify BEFORE you act or speak and you will be amazed with the effect it has in your life!

I live in north Florida and love gardening, and this is one of my favorite times of year. After being stuck inside all winter, it’s time to go out and enjoy and marvel at the beauty and wonder of God’s creation. It’s time to clean out everything the winter and frost appeared to kill; but in reality, all sorts of new life and beauty are popping up everywhere! The daffodils and azaleas are blooming in a blaze of glorious color, as the beautiful, winter blooming camellias begin to fade. The amaryllis’ are already coming up with their bloom stalks growing up straight and tall; growing by inches daily! The bare canes of the roses and hydrangeas are putting out new leaves with promise of beautiful blooms to come. The dead growth on the iris’, cannas, calla lilies, gingers, day lilies and many other varieties of blooming plants too numerous to mention, are giving way to new growth, displaying an amazing blessing of regeneration and increase during the winter months.

This is not a new experience for me, as I’ve been gardening for many years now, but it does bring a new perspective as I consider the miracle of marriage restoration. Just as with all of the beautiful things now coming to life in my yard that once appeared to be dead and hopeless, so it is with our marriages. And just as God regenerated and multiplied the plants in my yard, He can and will do for our marriages. Just as I could not do anything to prevent the damage of winter or to make them come back this spring, we are helpless to do anything to save our marriages. And just as there are certain tasks I had to perform to maintain the right environment for my plants so God could do His part to restore them to their glory this spring, there are certain things we have to do that God calls us to do so He can restore our marriages to greater glory than ever before. And one last observation is that the harsher and colder the winter, the more glorious and abundant the blooms are the following season, and I believe we will find the same is true when it comes to the restoration of our marriages. So no matter how dead and barren your marriage looks today, just remember that winter does end and the glory of spring does come! And when it does, you will be able to see all the wonderful things the Lord was doing even when you couldn’t see it!

When we look at the wonder of God’s creation and the restoration He shows us every year in the beauty of nature, we are without excuse, and there’s no reason to doubt He can and will do the same thing in our marriages, as we see in Romans 1:20:
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

The following poem is one of my very favorite emails ever received, and one I send out often. Unfortunately, I don’t know where it came from or who to give the credit for it, but I’m sure the author would be pleased to see it used to offer the comfort and encouragement so obviously intended:

Wait…
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, ‘My Child, you must wait!’
‘Wait?’, you say, wait!’ my indignant reply.
‘Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By FAITH I have asked, and am claiming your Word.
‘My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.
‘And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry;
I’m weary of asking I need a reply!’
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, ‘You must wait.’
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, ‘So, I’m waiting…for what?’
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
And he tenderly said, ‘I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want–but, you wouldn’t know ME.
‘You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint;
You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there;
You’d not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
‘You’d never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove;
You’d know that I give and I save…(for a start),
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of my heart.
‘The glow of my comfort late into the night.
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.
‘You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! if I lost what I’m doing in you!
‘So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
THAT THE GREATEST OF GIFTS IS TO GET TO KNOW ME.
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT.’
-Author Unknown

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 38: 15
I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.

Psalm 135:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Psalm 37:7
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:34
Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

James 5: 7
Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.

Isaiah 30:18
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

I hope the following verses from Isaiah 41:10-13 (NKJV) will be as encouraging for you today as they have often been for me:
10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
11 “ Behold, all those who were incensed against you Shall be ashamed and disgraced; They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish.
12 You shall seek them and not find them— Those who contended with you. Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing.
13 For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’

When we stop to think that the God that made this whole universe, the God that holds EVERYTHING together in His hands, promises that He will be with us, that He will help us, that He will uphold us with His most powerful, righteous right hand, what is there to fear? He is the only one with the power to make the things (and people) that come against us and our marriages as a nonexistent thing, which is exactly what He promises to do for us in these verses. That’s confirmed by Proverbs 21:30 which says:
There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.

I have relied on these verses many, many times and have found them to be VERY comforting and very effective when used in prayer. If we could just wrap our minds around the awesome love and power of our precious Lord and trust Him, we can “rest” and experience this promise found in Psalm 62:1:
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.
There can be NO truer words than these when we’re seeking the restoration of our marriages and facing what to the whole world appear to be impossible odds!

I received this from a FAM Fellowship member this morning and couldn’t wait to share it on the site, so please readOut With the Old and In With the New, by Betty HeimbachAnd check out the rest of the site for some very inspirational prophetic words and a treasure trove of comfort and encouragement atwww.GodSpeak.org.

Thanks Chelle!

When we have doubts that God will have His way, that HIS will WILL be done and that our marriages will be restored, perhaps it would help to consider this interesting passage of scripture in 1 Kings 22 (NLT):
19 Then Micaiah continued, “Listen to what the LORD says! I saw the LORD sitting on his throne with all the armies of heaven around him, on his right and on his left.
20 And the LORD said, `Who can entice Ahab to go into battle against Ramoth-gilead so that he can be killed there?’ There were many suggestions,
21 until finally a spirit approached the LORD and said, `I can do it!’
22 ” `How will you do this?’ the LORD asked. “And the spirit replied, `I will go out and inspire all Ahab’s prophets to speak lies.’ ” `You will succeed,’ said the LORD. `Go ahead and do it.’
23 “So you see, the LORD has put a lying spirit in the mouths of your prophets. For the LORD has determined disaster for you.”

When I first found that scripture, I had to read it several times, because it was such a strange concept to me that the Lord would use a lying spirit to accomplish His will. And then I found these verses in Joel 2:
25 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten — the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm — my great army that I sent among you.
26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed.Whether or not we like it or understand it, we have to accept that NOTHING happens in our life that the Lord does not control and that HIS will WILL ALWAYS be done for His praise and glory, as confirmed again in Ephesians 1:6-14:
6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace
8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
9 And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,
10 to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,
12 in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,
14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.Sometimes God causes or allows calamity in our lives to get our attention and to bring us back into right relationship with Him so we will live our lives for the praise of His glory, which is His plan and intention for us as His children. Romans 8:28 (NLT) confirms that too, because it says:
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

So the next time the lying spirits Satan sends in the form of well intended and well meaning advice from your best friends, your mother, your husband, and even your pastor, try to convince you that the restoration of your marriage is hopeless or impossible, please remember these passages of scripture and KNOW that God’s will WILL be done and that it will ALWAYS be for the praise of His glory. Also remember that Malachi 2:16 says:
“I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.We know there’s never any praise or glory for the Lord in divorce, so we know that it IS God’s will for our marriages to be restored. We can see from these verses that even the circumstances we’re dealing with today will be used for the glory of God if we will “earnestly seek Him” as we’re told to do in Hebrews 11:6 and then Matthew 6:33 (KJV) tells us:
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

And finally, in times of doubt, it is so important to remember and claim the awesome promise found in Jeremiah 29:11 (AMP, which says:
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.

Then when you get discouraged and need to be reminded of how you can rely on these passages of scripture for the restoration of your marriage, read this awesome testimony,Marriage On The Only Rock, by Judy Rousseau.

EVERYTHING we want as women standing for the restoration of our marriage always comes back to one essential issue, which is faith. Since my feedback from women standing for marriage restoration indicates how difficult this is, I’ll be focusing a lot more on faith, because of what Hebrews 11:6 tells us, which is:
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.This is VERY important scripture, because it tells us just how important faith is in our relationship with the Lord. If we don’t have the faith we need to believe that he can do ANYTHING and that NOTHING is impossible with Him, we need to examine our relationship with Him as our Savior. I know that sounds harsh, but IF we believe the Lord died for us on the cross, and was resurrected again three days later, to pay our sin debt so we could live with Him forever in Heaven, and we experienced the miracle of salvation, we should find it easier to believe that He is a God of miracles and that with Him ALL things ARE possible.

This is such a critical issue to anyone standing for marriage restoration, that I’m not posting my intended article on grace and redemption in Restoration Principles this week. Faith is SO basic to all forms of restoration that I’m going to focus on how important it is. So, the following verses of scripture are a few we’ll be discussing in this week’s Restoration Principles.

1 Peter 1:21:
Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

John 10:
25 Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father’s name speak for me,
26 but you do not believe because you are not my sheep.

Matthew 13:
57 And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.”
58 And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

I know these are difficult verses for some to understand, but we have to remember that the Bible tells us that it is the truth that sets us free, and the truth is what His word tells us, and NOT what the world tells us or what we think or how we feel. The good news is the promise we have in Romans 10:17, which says:
Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.My experience ministering to women standing for marriage restoration has definitely proven how true this verse is, because I can ALWAYS tell who is spending QUALITY time reading and studying God’s word, based on the level of faith they demonstrate in His love, faithfulness and power. So, I can say without hesitation that there will be a direct correlation between the amount of time you spend in the word and the likelihood you will experience a restored marriage.

As women standing for marriage restoration, we often tend to make things more complicated than they are or need to be and today the Lord put a very simple prayer in my heart. While it is simple, I believe we’ll find it VERY powerful, so we should pray it every time our thoughts turn to our husbands.

Lord, be Thou glorified in my husband’s life today. Be Thou magnified in his life today. In the name and power of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Here’s some supporting and encouraging scripture that illustrate the power of this simple but powerful prayer:

John 11:4:
When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”

2 Thessalonians 1:12:
We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 1:21:
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Romans 8:30:
And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Ephesians 1:11-12:
11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,
12 in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.

When our husbands’ lives glorify God, we will be blessed with more than we could ever hope for or imagine, so we need to pray this simple, easy prayer many times a day and trust God to bring it to pass, as only He can, and as His word tells us He will, for HIS glory.

Be Thou glorified in our husbands’ lives today, Lord. Be Thou magnified in their lives today. In the name and power of Jesus Christ, Amen!

A recurring conversation with people standing for marriage restoration is about taking every thought captive and making them obedient to Christ, which means the word of God. As with everything we do, it’s a lot easier to know we’re supposed to do it than it is to figure out how to do it. Like everything else, the Bible has the answer for that as well because God doesn’t tell us to do anything without telling us how to do it. So one of the best answers to this question is found in Philippians 4:6-9, which says:
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Everyone dealing with the issue of separation or divorce knows all about the loss of peace and contentment it causes, so getting control of our thoughts is one of the most important keys to overcoming that. Our thoughts are the basis for our emotions and our emotions dictate our actions, so we MUST get control of our thoughts. Look at what Jeremiah 17:10 says:
“I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.”Obviously God is searching and examining our hearts and thoughts, and judging us accordingly, because He knows they effect our conduct and deeds.

And we can’t ignore this verse in Luke 6:45:
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.Most of us know that whatever is in our minds usually ends up being on our tongues, so what we say does represent what we think and how we feel.

All of this is further confirmed in these verses in James 3:16-18:
16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.We need to understand that our thoughts are actually seeds we sow and our emotions and actions are the harvest they reap.

So taking our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ is the only way we can have peace in all circumstances, which we know IS possible based on what Paul said in 2 Thessalonians 3:16:
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

Based on my conversations and email communications with many of you, I know how difficult this is to put into practice, so I hope the above verses of scripture will help put it into better perspective and give you some practical tips and guidelines about how to DO it since it’s SO important. If we can’t get control of our thoughts, it’s not possible for us to act in the love, power and grace of the Lord that marriage restoration requires. So when negative thoughts of your spouse pop into your head, pray for him or her; use some of our prayers to get you started because they will actually change your thoughts and attitudes about your spouse and that will affect your conversation and interaction with them more than you might expect.

The following prayer is from Kimberly and Robert Pinkney, who are prayer warriors affiliated with the World Intercessory Network, which sends prayers out worldwide every day by email. I greatly appreciate their permission to share it with visitors to this site, because this is the kind of prayer we all should be praying every day for the restoration of the holy covenant of marriage, because it is the fabric that holds our society together, as was ordained by God.

Dear Father,
We thank you for this day; for this is the day that the Lord has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it. For you, Oh Lord, are great and greatly to be praised. Your mercy endures forever. Your tender mercies extend to all generations. Your compassion is extended to our children’s children. We thank you, Lord, and we bless your Holy Name. For you are great; you do miracles so great; there is no one else like you; there is no one else like you. You deserve the glory, and the honor, and we lift our hearts in worship to you today. Thank you Lord for making such a beautiful day for us to enjoy your goodness and mercy. Our hearts are open in worship to you all day long.
We pray for marriages, dear Father. We pray for husbands and wives to be convicted in their hearts and begin to pattern their attitude toward their spouses after your Word. We pray for men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, and gave himself for it. We pray for men not to be selfish but to consider the best interest of their wives and their children. We pray for men not to grow weary in working hard to take care of their families spiritually, emotionally and financially. Help them to see it not only as their reasonable service but also as an investment that will pay rich dividends when their children become grown, fully functioning members of society, prosperous as a result of their commitment to your Word.
We pray for wives to submit to their husbands, praying diligently (and in faith) for their husbands to be once and for all committed to the Word and character of Christ. Help them to walk in love, refraining from nagging or complaining. Help them to come up with creative ways to facilitate their husbands’ relationship with you. May they be the mothers that you have called them to be, and help them to realize that any job is secondary to being a mother, and that being a mother is the most important thing they can ever do in their lives. Help fathers to realize the same thing about being a father. We thank you Lord for anointing marriages so that burdens and yokes that get in the way of a Godly marriage and home may be removed and destroyed.
Lord, we understand that families are so crucial to the establishment of your will upon the earth, and that you ordained families. We also know that marriages are an integral part of the family structure. For this reason, we pray fervently for a powerful restoration of marriages in our nation today. We pray against all the opposing forces–in the natural and in the spirit–that routinely come against marriages.
We love you, Lord, and we honor you. And we fully expect the help of the Holy Spirit in our marriages today. We ask these things, expecting to receive according toMark 11:23-24,in Jesus’ Name. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

As usual, Charles Stanley’s TV message this morning was excellent, and I encourage everyone to take time to listen to it. It’s based on John 8:31-32 (AMP), which says:
31 So Jesus said to those Jews who had believed in Him, If you abide in My word [hold fast to My teachings and live in accordance with them], you are truly My disciples.
32 And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.A printable version of the outline is available at this link, where you can watchHow To Build Truth Into Your Life, from March 05, 2006.

No matter what issues we’re dealing with in our lives as Christians, especially as women standing for the restoration of our marriages, there’s just no way to do it without continually abiding in the word of God, which means spending a lot of quality time REALLY studying the Bible and listening to preachers and teachers like Dr. Stanley. I’m always amazed with how much teaching and instruction he can pack into one message. God has certainly anointed him with unique insight and an awesome ability to express biblical principles in a way we can all understand and relate to, so I thank the Lord for him and his willingness to be used by the Lord in such a powerful way!

We often use the word “standing” when referring to our decision not to give up on our marriages, but I wonder if we pay enough attention to how the Bible tells us we’re to do that? It doesn’t do much to know what to do if we don’t know how to do it, so it’s important to see what the Bible tells us about standing. The Bible verses relied on most often are the following verses from Ephesians 6:
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
19 Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,
20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

I never thought about it before when reading these verses, but they follow Paul’s instructions about living moral and upright lives, and walking in right relationship with others, including our husbands and wives, as seen in Ephesians 5, and they acknowledge and validate how difficult it is to do what he instructs us to do, which is why I think he began them with “Finally.” There is no doubt in my mind that it is not possible for us to stand for the restoration of our marriages without doing exactly what Paul tells us to do in these verses. You’ll get a much clearer understanding of them by reading them in the context of Ephesians 5 and 6, which you can read atwww.BibleGateway.com

So many of the most important principles of faith and marriage restoration are contained or confirmed in these verses, so I’ll be posting this in Heart To Heart with some additional thoughts for the FAM members to discuss. It is my prayer for every woman standing for marriage restoration that you will make the decision to forgive, and learn to see your husband through the eyes of God, and not through the pain of your experience. The devil is your enemy, not your husband and he desperately needs you to love him enough to stand in the gap for him.

Just as it is not possible for us to be reconciled to the Lord by works or without His amazing grace and redemption, it is not possible for our spouses to be restored or reconciled to us unless we extend the same kind of grace, mercy and forgiveness to them that Christ extends to us. So it’s important for us to understand what that means and how essential it is in our lives as Christians; most especially as we stand for the restoration and/or salvation of our marriages and spouses..

I love the following verses from Ephesians, because they express the wonder of God’s grace given to us through the sacrifice of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. They reveal God’s will and GOOD pleasure that all things in heaven and earth will be brought under the head of Jesus Christ, which HE will fulfill when the time is right. They tell us that we were chosen and our lives are predestined and that everything in our lives is worked out for the purpose of conforming us to His will so that we might live for His praise and glory. Then we have the assurance and promise that the Holy Spirit was sent to secure our inheritance as Christians and will enable us to live for the praise and glory of God until the day of our redemption!

Ephesians 1:
6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace
8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
9 And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,
10 to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,
12 in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,
14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

When we demonstrate the grace of God and make redemption and restoration available for our husbands and wives, God is glorified and His supernatural power is released to bring them into His kingdom and to give us the desire of our hearts. So instead of yearning so much for the restoration of our marriages, we need to yearn for our spouses’ restoration and reconciliation to the Lord, because once they are in right relationship with the Lord, they will be in right relationship with everyone; including us. That’s why I urge everyone standing for marriage restoration to stop focusing so much on their spouses as their spouse; but to interact with them more as someone in need of a Savior or in need of restoration of their walk and relationship with the Lord. And remember that our interaction with our spouses will either lead them to God or away from Him; if they don’t see Christ in us in terms of the way we treat them, why should they ever consider turning their lives over to Him? Needless to say, extending and demonstrating grace to our spouses under such circumstances requires us to walk humbly before them and God. But the good news is that James 4:6 tells us But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” And an easy way to remember GRACE is that God’s Redemption Always Cleanses Everyone! And that means there’s no longer a need to be held accountable for our past sin and mistakes, so God is asking a lot from us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families, but His grace is always sufficient!

Joyce Meyer started a great series this week about the test and trials we encounter, and how they will either be used as Satan’s temptations, or as an opportunity to triumph so the Lord will be glorified. The whole series goes along with a lot of the topics covered this week on the site and in conversations with women standing for marriage restoration or dealing with abusive husbands, but the one this morning was especially timed perfectly to confirm and expand on this week’s Restoration Principles. So please take the time to watch it The Process of Working It Out – Part IV, March 2ndThe rest of the series is available there too and I believe you’ll be blessed by watching it. We ALWAYS need to look for God’s purpose in everything that happens to us, because if we love Him and we’re being obedient to what His word teaches, we KNOW He WILL cause EVERYTHING to work together for good, and for HIS glory, as Romans 8:28 promises.