The FAM Fellowship is truly blessed to have the continued involvement and participation of several members who have already been blessed with the restoration of their marriages. And since I was really touched by the following Heart To Heart and Praise Testimony posted this morning by Diane, whose marriage was restored as they were working out the final details of their divorce settlement last May, I want to share it here as well.

Diane was saved soon after her husband left and she has always been and continues to be one of the most positive and encouraging members of the FAM Fellowship, and we all love and appreciate her dearly. The reason I want to share what she posted this morning is because it SO wonderfully illustrates the attitudes we all should have as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. If we learn to put these words of wisdom (much of it right from scripture) into practice, our lives and marriages would be totally transformed! A passage of scripture that reminds me so much of Diane is Matthew 9:28-30, because it says:
When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” “Yes, Lord,” they replied. Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith will it be done to you”; and their sight was restored.” …

Just as with Diane’s wonderfully encouraging and inspiring testimony, with every passing day in marriage restoration ministry, I can personally attest to the absolute and powerful truth of Jesus’ words when He said “According to your faith will it be done to you.”; because I see that walked out in the lives of men and women every day! Unfortunately for a few, that means that instead of the awesome praise reports that fill the pages of the private websites each day, they just slide from one frustrating experience and disappointment to another. And the sad truth is that if they don’t have a change of heart and LEARN to see life through the power and promise of God’s Word as Diane encourages below, the day will most likely come when all they have to say is what Job said in Job 3:25, which is What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. So it is my deepest heart’s desire that everyone standing for the restoration of their marriage would learn to follow Diane’s awesome example and put the following words of encouragement from her into practice! So be blessed and encouraged!

“I just wanted to add my praises for all that God is doing in the lives of FAMM members. It is just mind boggling all that HE keeps doing and how things just keep fitting together. I just keep walking around saying “Wow!” and thanking HIM. When you look back over the past few months, it is amazing how far we have all come. We know that we still have along way to go, but with HIM beside us we can do all that He calls us to. I just feel burdened to say look for God in all things; nothing just happens. So many in the world look to luck in circumstances, but we are so blessed when we look to Jesus. Over the past few months, Romans 8:28 just seems to come naturally to me; God will make ALL things work for good. Even with something that looks bad, there is good when you look for God in it. Keep looking up and stand firm on Gods word and He will never leave you or disappoint you. God wants to bless us and through those blessings He receives glory. So be steadfast; believe and do not grow weary; cast your cares on God. He already knows what you want and how you feel, so give it to HIM and He will make your burdens light. Fear not, for He is God and He has NOT changed His mind. Just stay in the race and you cannot lose!

I just felt that I needed to say God will not let us be put to shame or be disappointed, so keep BELIEVING, EXPECTING and RELYING on God for all things. HE is the way, the truth and the life. Remove any negatives; speak things into being and let God do the rest. Stay encouraged. Diane”

While there is quite a bit to learn as we embark on our journey with the Lord for the restoration of our marriages, besides understanding and believing God’s promises to personally defend and uphold the covenant of our marriages; one of the most important things to know is that it doesn’t matter what our spouses propose, because in the end, ONLY GOD WILL DISPOSE! And if we take God at His Word, reading the following verses of scripture leave NO DOUBT about that:

To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. Proverbs 16:1

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? Proverbs 20:24

The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. Proverbs 21:1

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:12-13

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:11-12

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. Proverbs 21:30

I often refer to the verses in Proverbs as the “man Proposes – God Disposes” verses, because that’s EXACTLY what they say, and there just isn’t any other REASONABLE interpretation! So anyone who still believes in the doctrine of “free will” has some explaining to do, unless they feel justified to just totally ignore those verses and MANY others that proclaim the exact same truth! IF man can ultimately choose the course of his life and exactly what he will and will not do; then how could God be sovereign or omnipotent? That would mean that God could do what He wants to just as long as we agree with Him, and I don’t think anyone is so deceived as to believe that…or at least I sure hope not!

And since there’s no better way to illustrate the truth and reliability of the Bible than real life testimonies, the following are examples of just some of the most amazing things we’ve witnessed in the lives of a few FAM Fellowship members in just the past few weeks!

First, one of our ladies didn’t fight her husband in any way when he presented her with Final Settlement and divorce papers, even though they came as a total shock to her! She even declined his offer to increase what he had been paying her monthly for Child support. And she demonstrated the most amazing peace and confidence in the Lord; being FULLY persuaded that she COULD put all of her faith and confidence in His Word and promise to uphold the covenant of her marriage; which she very non threateningly, but confidently shared with her husband! Well, they had their final divorce hearing three weeks ago, and her husband moved out of the country five days later. Needless to say upon learning of those plans, his wife was a little distressed; but she knew she had to give that to the Lord too and rest assured that in some way beyond her ability to understand, God would work even that for her good! And from the moment her husband arrived at his destination, trouble started rolling in, and has not let up since! The person who was supposed to meet him at the airport, with whom he was planning to live, didn’t show up and he was stranded at the airport for a day until he could locate some fraternity brothers he didn’t even know, who let him stay with them for three days. And it was immediately apparent that his planned housing accommodations were not going to work out as he had expected. Then he discovered that a certificate required for his employment there would NOT be recognized as he had been led to believe! And within days of his arrival, the third most intense hurricane to ever make landfall in the Atlantic basin, Hurricane Dean, paid a visit! And our beloved prodigal was quite nervous as the storm approached, because he had never been in a hurricane before. Then he even started complaining about the cultural differences, which really came as a surprise since he is accustomed to traveling outside of the United States for business! And one of the most unexpected and interesting occurrences is that he started calling his wife up to five times a day! They talk for at least an hour or an hour and a half every morning and at night before bed and several times in between! And even that could end up being quite a chock, because he’s using his cell phone to call his wife, assuming that the rates are the same as when calling from the states, and I have a feeling that is not very likely…so I just hope and pray he doesn’t have heart failure when he gets his first bill! And a whole eight days after arriving in the land of his dream life, our beloved prodigal called his wife and asked her to send him a ticket so he could come home the next day! But she didn’t have the money and he will have to wait until the end of this week for her to send the ticket. And the final and most interesting unexpected turn of events is that he subletted his apartment before leaving the country, so he will have to live with is wife and kids when returning to the states! Now how about that…after three years of separation! And when our lady asked her dear husband the other day if he had received the final divorce papers yet…well I can’t print the words that came out of his mouth here, because his wife wouldn’t even repeat them! Hmmm…I’m wondering if he just might regret that decision as much as the one to pack up and leave his family behind! Obviously…man proposes, BUT God disposes!

Then another one of our members responded in a very similar fashion when her husband presented her with the same kind of papers; she even waived her rights to his business assets and income. And WITHIN DAYS of signing those papers, it seems that EVERYTHING started falling apart in his business! And he didn’t understand, and certainly didn’t count on his daughters’ reaction when he excitedly told them that he was divorcing their mother and that the “new” woman in his life really wanted to meet them! They were very upset and refused to have any part of that and even stopped going to visit him, because they thought they’d have to meet the NCP. Well, he was pretty upset about that and tried to get his wife to tell them that this was what they both wanted and that it was the best thing for all of them. She respectfully told him she couldn’t do that, but that she would try to talk to them, but they wouldn’t budge. Their final hearing took place two weeks ago and he didn’t even tell his wife about it until it was over, because she had also waived her rights to notification. Things with his business continued to get worse and his wife pulled back from communicating with him as much as she had before, because she found that was easier for her emotionally. And he started calling her and asking why she hadn’t told him this or that, and then this past weekend he called to bring some school supplies to his daughter Saturday, but they all had other plans, and after talking to his wife for about ten minutes, he said he’d come by the next day. And then on Sunday his daughter answered the phone when he called, but he wanted to know if her mother was there too. Then when he came, he ended up staying for three and a half hours, during which time he and his wife just sat and talked (their daughter pulled a very convenient disappearing act – we know how kids are when their parents are divorcing; they just want them to get back together again). That was the first time they spent that much time talking to each other in so many years, she couldn’t even remember when it was! And she was so much at peace that she was able to joke and tease with him and even be a little flirtatious! WOW, what grace! He told her that he had gone to church that morning for the first time in ages, and he asked if she knew where the Bible she had bought for him fifteen years ago was! She just casually mentioned that she had always hoped that he would go to church with her and the girls; just to see if he liked it. And she couldn’t believe it when he said he would! Then when it came time to go, it was clear that he didn’t want to leave, and she didn’t offer her usual hug and kiss when he left, even though she could tell he wanted her too! But that’s okay; because he showed up again unannounced last night and stayed for another hour just talking; including telling her that he thinks about her all day and all night! And when he left, he wasn’t going to miss that hug and kiss again, so he TOOK that…and more! Obviously…man proposes, BUT God Disposes!

Then another one of our ladies, whose divorce was final last month, just spent the long holiday weekend with her husband, who took her out of town for the weekend to celebrate her birthday! And this is the same man who was insisting that she vacate their home by the end of last May, but due to ALL sorts of totally unexpected and unavoidable delays and problems with the purchase of her new house and needed repairs, she only just moved out this past week! And NOW her husband wants to date to see if they should “get back together!” And he’s not going to tell anyone that they’re divorced and he doesn’t want her to either! Talk about a change of heart! Obviously…man proposes, BUT God disposes!

Another one of our ladies is pregnant with two small children, but her husband doesn’t support them financially and she has no other source of income. But soon after her husband left to live with another woman, who is also pregnant, when our member was still in the “reacting” stage (before she came to FAM), she went to court and got a voluntary order for child support, which was supposed to come out of his check each week. But it took weeks for that to take effect and just as soon as it did, he quit his job. Meanwhile, life for him has not gone well at all. They’ve gone through at least four vehicles, with various breakdowns and even totaled a brand new car. And they were just evicted from their apartment last month. The NCP has also admitted that she still has feelings for the father of her other children, who wants her back, which she’s considering! She told our beloved prodigal that all they had to do was look at all the signs that they didn’t belong together! What great wisdom for one so young! And the heat is about to be turned up, because even though his wife refused to do anything to put him in legal jeopardy, apparently the agency that monitors child support payments there noticed that he’s not paying, and they’ve set a Contempt of Court hearing for later this month! And the options are either fines or jail, or a combination of both. So it’s entirely possible that the money they are now anticipating using to move into a new apartment will have to be used to keep him out of jail! And in the meanwhile, he has started calling his wife an awful lot lately and making a lot of flimsy excuses to come by to visit and sending lots of text messages. And he’s admitted that he and the NCP fight a lot and that she even gets physical! And, when our lady came into the room where her husband and oldest son were visiting the other day, her husband was holding his son, with tears running down his face, because he had asked him to come home! Obviously…man proposes, BUT God disposes!

And another one of our members who has been divorced for several years and whose husband remarried last year, has been totally shocked by the sudden and unexpected changes in their relationship. He has started calling all times of the day and night, and doesn’t even make the pretense of calling about their little one anymore! The calls are getting more and more frequent, much longer and a lot more personal. And in the past few days, he’s even started asking her to call him! She has no idea what is going on with him and the NCP, but there’s absolutely NO doubt that he too is thinking of her all day and all night! Obviously…man proposes, But God disposes!

And another FAM Fellowship member who has been divorced for many years and whose husband also recently remarried, has been totally amazed to see what has happened in her husband’s life just since his remarriage. In a matter of months, they lost their business without ANY notice and even had to sell their home. And then another business they put a lot of time and money into was a total flop; then in just the past few days, he stated that his new line of business was going under too! And the NCP just found out this week that the place she works will be closing in two weeks! Obviously…man proposes, BUT God disposes!

And today, our newest FAM Fellowship member went on a business trip a short distance out of town, and was quite surprised to get a call from his wife saying that she was upset with him because he knew she loved to go where he was going and he didn’t aske her to go with him! Well, that would be surprising to anyone considering that in the past two weeks she has said they are “separated”…and has actually asked him to stop wearing his wedding ring, stop saying he loves her and stop calling her by any terms of endearment! And she even told him she didn’t know if being married to him was what she wants anymore. But that’s okay, because he’s got to go back again in two weeks, so now they have a date for lunch and an afternoon of just walking around and checking out the shops! Obviously…woman proposes, BUT God disposes!

And I could go on and on with more testimonies just like these, but they should be MORE than enough to make the point that there’s no need for any of us to be concerned or distressed by the plans of our spouses when they are contrary to God’s written Word, because He WILL back His Word and that means He will restore our marriages when we live and act in accordance with HIS Word. And NO separation, NO divorce and NO remarriage will ever succeed against the will of the Lord, so be blessed and encouraged!

When we see the Lord’s hand at work in the lives of FAM Fellowship members as we have in the past week or so, it’s impossible not to be in total awe of God’s power and faithfulness! But there is no denying one very obvious fact; those who BELIEVE AND EXPECT the Lord to work on their behalf are in fact the same ones who see Him working in their lives. The ones who continually encourage and minister to others are the ones who have already had their marriages restored and are continuing to see the Lord’s miraculous, healing power at work in their marriages and families; or they are the ones now seeing Him move in totally remarkable ways toward the restoration of their marriages. And those who struggle with CONSISTENTLY trusting God or with trusting Him much at all tend to be the same ones who see little move or change in their circumstances, which then causes them to become even more discouraged and depressed. And while we often talk about faith and even that the Holy Spirit has to be at work in us to give us the faith needed to stand for the restoration of our marriages, my naturally inquisitive and analytical mind wants to boil it down to something more tangible. But in the end, there’s only one real observable difference between those who consistently have faith in God’s power and faithfulness to fulfill His Word and those who struggle to believe at all, much less consistently, and that’s the degree of confidence they have in God’s faithfulness to deliver on His promises or to believe that His Word will NEVER return empty as Isaiah 55:10-11 assures us. It says As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. If we don’t honestly and truly believe that, what do we have to stand on? That’s the ONLY true foundation for our stand for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families, and anything else or anything less just leads us from one disappointment and frustration to the next.

In 2 Corinthians 1:17-22, Paul says When I planned this, did I do it lightly? Or do I make my plans in a worldly manner so that in the same breath I say, “Yes, yes” and “No, no”? But as surely as God is faithful, our message to you is not “Yes” and “No.” For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has always been “Yes.” For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. It’s SO important for us to understand the significance of what verse 20 says. It says “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.” So let’s break that down a bit. We have God’s promise (of marriage restoration), and the answer (or fulfillment) of that promise is yes in Christ, so through Christ (the authority and strength we have in Him), WE SAY AMEN (SO BE IT) to the glory of God! But the only way we can truthfully and meaningfully say amen or so be it is IF we believe the promise in the first place. And since “so be it” refers to something that does not yet exist, it again comes back to BELIEVING AND EXPECTING God’s Word to come to pass in our circumstances. WE have to be able to take God at His Word, or there’s just nothing to stand on or with.

Based on the praise reports and testimonies posted on the private sites in the past week or so, along with those filling the pages of the archives, we can surely testify to the truth and power of Hebrews 11:6, which says And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. And Hebrews 10:38 even says But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.” So in addition to making it very clear that God is not pleased with us when we shrink back from living by faith, this verse is also very significant in light of James 5:16, which says Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous
man is powerful and effective. And we certainly need the power of effective prayers working for us as we stand for our marriages! Even though we know and understand that we can’t be made righteous without faith in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, perhaps we fail to realize that once being saved, we also have to LIVE by faith! And it certainly is only by faith that we can live by the wise counsel the Lord gives us in 1 Samuel 12:14-16, which says If you fear the LORD and serve and obey him and do not rebel against his commands, and if both you and the king who reigns over you follow the LORD your God-good! But if you do not obey the LORD, and if you rebel against his commands, his hand will be against you, as it was against your fathers. “Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!

So we have to put our trust in the power and promise of God’s Word as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and count on Him to honor His awesome promise in Jeremiah 33:2-3, which says “This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you
do not know.’ And when we CAN
NOT see what God is doing in our lives, that’s when we have to trust Him most especially, and rely on the promise in 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, which says For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. So, when there appears to be absolutely NOTHING going on in the restoration of our marriages, that’s when we have to remember that the answer to ALL of God’s promises are ALWAYS YES in Christ, and be blessed and encouraged!