Yesterday was one of the toughest I’ve ever had in the ministry, because Satan was doing his dead level best to take out one of the FAM Fellowship members…BUT SATAN IS A LIAR AND A DEFEATED FOE AND GOD REIGNS! And despite his best efforts, yesterday was a VERY victorious day in many ways, even in the life of the member he was doing his best to destroy! There ARE times when the Word of God is ALL we have to hold onto, and yesterday was certainly such a day. So in all of my conversations with the woman who was under so much attack, the two verses I kept repeating to her over and over again were Proverbs 21:30, which assures us that There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. and Romans 8:28 (NASB), which says And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. And there’s no better way to face situations we can’t possibly understand or explain than relying heavily on Isaiah 55:8-11, because it says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. So when the world seems to be crashing in around us, we CAN rely on these verses, just as we did yesterday. And just as He did yesterday, God will ALWAYS honor that kind of stand and confidence in His Word! BUT we have to believe that, NO MATTER WHAT WE SEE OR HEAR to the contrary!

Sharing all of the details of the battle waged is not appropriate here, but when one of our sisters was in desperate need yesterday and felt unable to stand for herself, I know the fasting and prayer support of our members and others is what kept her going, and God faithfully came through with some big miracles by the end of the day! A final divorce hearing didn’t end in divorce as scheduled, but another postponement, which was probably the fourth so far! And the same angry, confused and overwhelmed husband who had said a few hours earlier at the courthouse that he hated her and that she and his step children were not his family and he didn’t want anything to do with them, made a totally 180 degree turn! She was shocked to find him waiting at her house last night when she returned from the hospital, where her seven year old son has been hospitalized since Thursday because of numerous attempts to kill himself and aggressive behavior toward others for the past two weeks. She cried out to the Lord several times yesterday when we were praying and told Him she needed a break; that she just couldn’t take any more, and just as Jeremiah 33:3 promises, He heard her and answered her and showed her great and mighty things she did not know, including sending a deliverance minister to work with her little one last night! And how amazed we both were at the end of the day to realize that while she was crying so broken hearted on her way home from the hospital last night, GOD HAD ALREADY ANSWERED HER PRAYERS, and all her tears and despair were for nothing, because her husband was already sitting at her house waiting for her to come home; the Holy Spirit had already brought the conviction she was so desperately praying for! Little did we know when I was trying to encourage her by reminding her that none of this was a surprise to God; that He already had it ALL covered, just how true those words were! So that will always stand out in my memory as one of the most powerful examples of why we should never rely on our own understanding, but trust God with ALL of our hearts and acknowledge Him in ALL our ways, just like Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us! And that is exactly what she did her best to do. We just had no idea how fast He would work! And just as faithful as He was to deal with the other matters, we are totally confident that God WILL bring healing and restoration to her son’s body, heart, mind, soul and spirit in the name of Jesus! And this amazing testimony should be a reminder to all of us of Isaiah 65:24 (NJKV), which says “ It shall come to pass That before they call, I will answer; And while they are still speaking, I will hear.

And even though that situation occupied a lot of my time yesterday, it was still an awesome day in the ministry too, because the devil was sent packing in several other works of restoration as well! One of our member’s husband, who is a fallen pastor, finally acknowledged his sin and has begun the process of calling out to the Lord in repentance and breaking off the relationship with the NCP. So we fully expect him to come home soon, especially since the person he is turning to for comfort and support is his wife! And NOTHING but the grace and power of God could enable her to do that for her husband! She has truly walked out the biblical principles of restoration and now she is witnessing the Lord’s faithfulness to bless and honor what has been a very humbling, difficult and challenging walk!

Then, last night, another one of our ladies sent me an email to let me know that her husband just dropped in unexpectedly for no apparent reason. And he kept looking at her (which he doesn’t usually do!) and even wanted to know what church she was going to, along with quite a few other interesting questions! I’m sure he’s quite curious to find out about this amazing woman who didn’t react to being served with divorce papers at all as he expected! Instead SHE asked for a meeting so they could work out the details themselves without going through lawyers, and didn’t fight him on anything he wanted. Instead she praised him and encouraged him and made it clear that she would be fine, but she would honor their marriage vows no matter what he needed to do for himself. And then yesterday when she told him that she believed God would heal and restore their relationship, he even said she might be right! And nothing could be further from that than what he’s been saying! ONLY GOD! ONLY GOD!

And one of our ladies posted a very encouraging message as she described how the Lord is working to soften her husband’s heart, which he is demonstrating with small acts of affection and beautiful words of praise and edification! And this is after being emotionally checked out on their marriage for many years! So the Holy Spirit is working a great work of restoration there too!

The obvious reason for sharing the testimonies of God’s amazing faithfulness to hear and answer our prayers is to increase our faith and confidence as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, and to remind us that NO MATTER HOW IMPOSSIBLE OR HOPELESS OUR SITUATIONS LOOK, God IS IN CONTROL, and HIS will is going to be done no matter what plans any man or woman or Satan or demonic spirit has! And the testimony of how God worked for one of our ladies yesterday shows us that just as Isaiah 65:24 tells us, He even answers BEFORE we call! How I wish I had recalled that scripture yesterday, especially since I had just received it Saturday in the following email message titled: Isaiah 65:24 “Before they call, I will answer”. So be blessed and encouraged as you remember that and read the following story!

Subject: STORY – ISAIAH 65: 24 “BEFORE THEY CALL, I WILL ANSWER.”

Some of you may have seen this before, but it is a good story to help us remember that God sees our needs before we even know we have them. We should always remember that “God will not lead us to anything that faith in Him cannot bring us through.” Enjoy!

This story was written by a doctor who worked in South Africa.

One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but in spite of all we could do, she died leaving us with a tiny premature baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive, as we had no incubator (we had no electricity to run an incubator). We also had no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous drafts. One student midwife went for the box we had for such babies and the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly in distress to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst (rubber perishes easily in tropical climates). “And it is our last hot water bottle!” she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk so in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways. “All right,” I said, “put the baby as near the fire as you safely can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from drafts. Your job is to keep the baby warm.”

The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with any of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle, and that the baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died.

During prayer time, one ten-year old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt conciseness of our African children. “Please, God” she prayed, “send us a water bottle. It’ll be no good tomorrow, God, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon.” While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added, “And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she’ll know You really love her?” As often with children’s prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say, “Amen”. I just did not believe that God could do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything, the Bible says so. But there are limits, aren’t there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending me a parcel from homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever received a parcel from home. Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator!

Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses’ training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there, on the veranda, was a large twenty-two pound parcel. I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box. From the top, I lifted out brightly colored, knitted jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas – that would make a batch of buns for the weekend Then, as I put my hand in again, I felt the…..could it really be? I grasped it and pulled it out – yes, a brand-new, rubber hot water bottle. I cried. I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could. Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, “If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly too!” Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted! Looking up at me, she asked: “Can I go over with you and give this dolly to that little girl, so she’ll know that Jesus really loves her?”

That parcel had been on the way for five whole months. Packed up by my former Sunday school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God’s prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child – five months before, in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it “that afternoon.”

“Before they call, I will answer” (Isaiah 65:24)

Since the ministry is growing by leaps and bounds, along with the demands on the time needed to manage many of my other responsibilities associated with it, words can’t adequately express my appreciation for the ability and willingness of one of the FAM Fellowship members to provide such encouraging and inspirational messages and prayers as the one she sent me this morning. As always, God is so faithful to meet every need, even before we know they exist! So as you read the following message and prayer submitted by this very special anonymous author, I know you will be blessed and encouraged!

In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he prays in a mighty way for those who are “marked with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit”. In Ephesians 1:17-19, Paul prays, “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you…and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” As standers, we cannot hope to continue standing unless we know what we’re hoping for and whose power we are calling on. We’ve all got the first part don’t we? We want our spouses back; we want peace in our homes. What about the second part? Who are we trusting? Our own abilities; our mates?

Even more importantly, we have to understand the character of God if we are going to truly trust him and have a faith that moves mountains. Before he can bring our spouses home, he has to ensure that we know him. His word says that we love him because he first loved us. The more time we spend allowing God to reveal himself to us through his word, the more we get a true picture of a powerful, mighty, merciful, loving God. Once we begin to understand his character, we will begin the process of trusting him with our needs. As God meets those needs and “sends down from heaven”, answering us and comforting us, our love and appreciation for him grow as well. As love grows, so does faith and with faith, obedience. We will obey him, not out of fear of condemnation or legalistic thinking. We will obey out of the knowledge that he loves us, love is our motivation. We will obey him by faith as we understand in our spirits that he is truly for us.

This is crucial to marriage restoration because if we do not make the effort to know our God, his nature and his will, we will miss the blessing. How? Because we will grow weary and faint. Isn’t that what happens when we lean on our own strength and understanding to accomplish things? Unless we seek God in his word, we only know how to find him in circumstances. If our circumstances are not pleasing to us, then we will grow bitter and resentful. With trust gone and a bitter spirit, how can we expect God to bring us the desires of our hearts?

Lord, when we were dead in our transgressions, we followed the ways of the world, working in disobedience. But because of your great love for us, we have been made alive again in Christ. Show us the riches of your grace. We are your workmanship, create us for good works which your word says you have prepared in advance for us to do. We are members of the household of God and the power manifested in Christ’s resurrection from the dead is available to us as we stand for our marriages. Lord, I pray that in each of us, our first desire would be to live holy before you, seeking you and being obedient through faith. As you work the miracle of making us new creations, do the same for our spouses so that they also may glorify you. And unite us with our spouses again. We proclaim by faith that our households will be households for God, that Jesus will be our chief cornerstone and that in him, the “whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord.” (Ephesians 2:21) We pray that you would strengthen us with your power through your Spirit in our inner being and that we would be filled to the measure of the fullness of God. Equip us to lead lives worthy of the callings we have received. We ask for humility, gentleness, patience and that we might bear with one another in love. Help us to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3) Prepare us for your works of service so that the Body may be built up until we reach unity in the faith and grow in the knowledge of God and become mature. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth over the waves of doubt and uncertainty. Instead Lord, by your grace, we will speak the truth in love and in all things grow up into him who is the head-Jesus Christ. In His name, we pray. Amen.

The following was submitted to share here today by a FAM Fellowship member who wishes to remain anonymous, and since it addresses many of the issues discussed in FAM Chat Friday night so well, I know it will be a very special blessing. And I give thanks, praise, honor and glory to the Lord for sending such dear and precious men and women to FAM Ministries, who so obviously share the burden to see us all grow in our walk and relationship with the Lord as we stand in faith and obedience to Him for the restoration of our marriages and families. So be blessed and encouraged!

The Lord led me to Psalms this morning and really opened my eyes to the need to praise him; to call on him with faith. I really believe in my spirit that he wants each of us to honor him more with praise and acknowledgement of his power and in light of that praise and faith in his power-to boldly require and ask for his help. I found Psalm 67:5-7 very encouraging and it is in the prayer below (last 3 sentences):

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He sends from heaven and saves us; God sends his love and his faithfulness. Let my heart be steadfast,
then I will sing and make music. Awaken my soul to the obedience that comes from faith. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations. O my Strength, I watch for you; you are my fortress, my loving God. God will go before me. I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love. You have been angry-now restore us! You have shaken the land and torn it open; mend its fractures, for it is quaking. You have shown your people desperate times; you have given us wine that makes us stagger.
But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner to be unfurled. Save us and help us with your right hand, that those you love may be delivered. Give us aid against the enemy. With God we will gain the victory and he will trample down our enemies.
I call to you as my heart grows faint, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
May we abide in your presence forever! Appoint your love and faithfulness to protect us. Then will we ever sing praise to your name and fulfill our vows day after day.
My soul will find rest in you alone O Lord, my hope comes from you. Trust in him at all times, O peoples, pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge. Because your love is better than life Lord, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live and in your name I will lift up my hands. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. Hear me O God as I voice my complaint. Protect me from the threat of the enemy. O you who hear prayer, to you all men will come. When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions. Blessed are those you choose and bring near to live in your courts! Answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness, having armed yourself with strength. Those living far away fear your wonders; bring them close to you so that they may also call forth songs of joy and praise. You care for our land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works in man’s behalf!
He has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you O God tested us, you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. We went through fire and water but you have brought us to a place of abundance.
We will come to your temple and fulfill our vows to you. Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me! May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us. Lord we ask that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations. May the people praise you, may all the people praise you. Then the land will yield its harvest and God, our God, will bless us and all the ends of the earth will fear him.
Amen and amen. (Taken from Psalms 59-67)

Something else the Spirit shared was Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Also, Galatians 5:6; “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” Paul explains that in Christ we were made free and we are to use that freedom to serve one another in love. Verse 15 of the same chapter says “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” If we do not refrain from judging our spouses, we breed a self-righteous, critical attitude in our own hearts which hinders us from “faith expressing itself through love”. It also brings us back into the yoke of slavery to sin. We must examine our hearts daily and ask God to reveal and weed out any such attitudes. We are all guilty at some time or another of having a critical spirit. But verse 24 promises us that those of us who belong to Christ have crucified the sinful nature. Verse16 says “So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” We are encouraged to live by the Spirit so as not to become conceited, provoking or envying of one another.

Lord, though we are fearful of what you might find, we acknowledge that our prayers and your promises are hindered when sin remains. Holy Spirit, search our hearts and gently convict us of those attitudes and beliefs which are an offense to God. Give us the courage to yield ourselves to you and grant us a daily willingness to submit to you and be changed. Create in us a pure heart and renew in us a steadfast spirit.
Forgive our sins and cover them with the precious blood of your son, Jesus. In our lives Lord, let your glory shine forth. May we lead lives that are pleasing to you as we allow our faith to express itself through love. Lord, may your fruits of joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control be made manifest in and through us. May our spouses and children also bear such fruit.
We dedicate our households to you Lord. Let everything be consecrated to your purposes and plans. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

I already had today’s SOF post, Letting Go is an Act of Sacrificial Faith, substantially written when one of the FAM Fellowship members posted the following praise report on the men’s private website. And since everyone who visits here often knows how amazed I am with God’s mind blowing faithfulness to confirm EVERYTHING, it won’t be too surprising how much I loved this one! And I thank Dan for letting me share it here! Be blessed and encouraged and don’t let Satan cause you to take a U-turn…but IF he does, Praise God, He’ll get you right back on the right path…HIS PATH!

“Last night on the way home from work, I live an hour from my job, I had stopped at an outlet mall only to be disappointed that the Bible Bookstore had closed. All was not lost as the Nautica store is going out of business and had my favorite boxers on sale! Anyway, as I attempted to get back on the interstate to continue my trek home my car began sliding and I lost control of my car. I spun around and when everything came to a screeching halt I was headed in the opposite direction up against the steel guard rail.

My immediate thoughts were, I can’t afford a ticket right now nor can I fix my car. I jumped out of the car – not to assess the damage but to open the trunk, hit the button that reactivates the gas line, jump in my car and get out of there before someone stops and involves the police. (There was no damage to the guard rail!)

As I got back in my car, turned it around and headed home I thanked God that it was not as serious as it could have been. My mind and body began to react with thoughts and pain. I pulled over to the side of the road to check to see if my tail lights were actually functioning; they were. I began to consider what I was supposed to “get” out of this episode of life. Well, this is what I heard God saying to me:

The closer you get to me and the restoration of your marriage the more furious Satan is going to attack. It is easy to slide and end up going the wrong direction. Stay close to me, put all your faith and trust in me and when your faith is not enough, I will give you extraordinary faith beyond what you are capable of having in your humanity. Keep your engine running and I will get you turned around quickly and back on the correct path. Your trip will end safely as you reach your destination. The aches and pain will subside as you feel the warmth and safety of being “home” with me.

The last 20 minutes of my trip home I cranked up the praise songs and sang as loud as I could giving God the glory and praise that He is so worthy of. I told Satan that he was not going to kill, steal, and destroy my marriage or my family – I even laughed at him that he thought he could have victory over me and my family. I know God is working so fervently in my life and in healing and restoring my marriage. The message may not be directly related to your standing for your marriage but it is about faith and the presence of God in our lives.

My prayer for you is to be able to “let go” and let God be the driver on your road to a healed and restored marriage and your walk with Him.
ove and Blessings – Dan”

Even though there is so much about standing for the restoration of our marriages that’s very difficult, probably one of the most consistently difficult is understanding and putting into practice the Lord’s instructions in 1 Corinthians 7:15, which says But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

I’m not even going to address how that verse is perverted by most of today’s Christian leaders to allow and condone divorce and remarriage, because that’s not the point of what I want to share today; and most people reading this have already gotten beyond the deception of that false teaching, which is discussed in great detail elsewhere on the site. So that means we need to find out what it does mean, and why the Lord asks us to do it in the first place, and I’m really excited about the revelation or insight He gave me about that this morning..

There’s been a lot of conversation lately in our FAM Chat sessions and on the private sites about the difficulties of letting go, and how important it is to totally and completely trust God, which will be the topic of tonight’s FAM Chat. So I’ve been thinking about it more and more over the past few days.

Last night, one of the ladies in the fellowship met with her husband to discuss the division of their property, because he has filed for divorce. And she was the one who asked for the meeting; because she said she would rather they work that out between themselves instead of going through the lawyers. I was so glad to hear she had done that, because I had a very messy divorce, which did absolutely NOTHING to glorify Jesus Christ, and only served to make restoration of my marriage even more unlikely in the earthly realm. In addition to that verse saying we are called to live in peace, there are so many verses in the Bible that tell us to seek peace, pursue peace and be peace makers. So maintaining and seeking peace in our relationships with our spouses, even when they want to leave us and do a lot to hurt and disappoint us, is obviously very important to God. But any time we find ourselves in the midst of the legal system and in court, by their very adversarial nature, they do little to promote peace. In fact, they almost ALWAYS make bad situations a LOT worse. So I always suggest doing everything possible to avoid relying on the courts and very flawed legal system to help us in matters of divorce, and even child support. There are a ton of scriptures indicating that doing so directly opposes the will and ways of God; like casting all of our anxieties on God because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7), leaning not to our own understanding and trusting God with ALL our hearts and acknowledging Him in ALL our ways so He will direct our paths(Proverbs 3:5-6), not causing God to oppose us because of our pride and humbling ourselves under the mighty hand of God because HE WILL lift us up in DUE time (1 Peter 5:5-6), seeking first the kingdom of God and his righteousness because we know He will give us everything else we need (Matthew 6:33), and letting our gentleness be apparent because the Lord is near, and taking all of our request to GOD in prayer with thanksgiving, without being anxious about ANYTHING (Philippians 4:5-6). And how interesting it is that after that last passage, Philippians 4:7 says And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. So that, along with the other verses, is a pretty good indication of HOW we let our spouses go and manage to live in peace as we’re called to do in 1 Corinthians 7:15! And what an awesome praise report the woman who met with her husband had this morning! The peace she had last night surprised her and since she was not so overwrought, she was able to see how terribly unhappy her husband is, and to have genuine compassion for him. And her faith and confidence in the Lord to meet her needs and restore their marriage is stronger than ever! And everything she did was in complete agreement with the above referenced verses and many others, and our God and Father WILL be faithful to reward and bless that kind of faith and obedience!

And then I have a lengthy conversation with another one of the fellowship members last night who understands in his head that he needs to let go, but just doesn’t seem to be able to DO it. So this morning, as I was thinking about these situations and the FAM Chat tonight, and how exciting it was to see how the Lord had given the woman the peace, not to mention grace and strength, to do what she did last night with such a calm and confident attitude, I kept wondering why it’s so important to the Lord for us to let go. I mean I understood that it’s important, because He made us and He knows how we’re wired. And for some reason, releasing our spouses is important in that respect, because as long as we’re holding onto them they will just try harder to get farther and farther away from us. But it kept going round and round in my head that there had to be more, and I couldn’t believe it when the Lord reminded me of something He had shown me a while back about WHY Jesus wept when Lazarus died. And that gave me the answer. It’s ALL about FAITH, and demonstrating in meaningful and measurable ways that we trust God to fulfill His word in every respect. We have to show God that we believe and expect and rely on HIM to do exactly what His Word tells us He will do, and that we know that His Word will NEVER return void, that it will ALWAYS accomplish what He desires and sent it to accomplish. And He confirmed that by reminding me of a personal experience I had in my personal life, when the Lord told me that my husband was my Isaac on the alter”, and then what ended up happening, with totally unexpected results and consequences. But I’ll save that for another post too!

One Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church, I heard a preacher on TV teaching out of John 11 about the death of Lazarus and how Jesus cried when he died. I’ve heard that same message over and over again so many times in my life and never had the reaction I had that morning! He said Jesus cried because he loved Lazarus so much that He was grieved by his death. And I yelled at the TV “That’s not true! He wouldn’t cry because he was dead, because He knew He was going to raise him up for the glory of God and Himself, so that can’t possibly be why he cried!” I was so surprised, but I knew without a doubt that was true, so I started thinking about why He WAS crying, and the insight that flooded my mind was almost overwhelming, because there was so much that it really did come like a flood. The main thing I remembered at that time was that Jesus even told the disciples that Lazarus was asleep, which they thought He meant literally, but Jesus explained that He was in fact dead and that He was going to raise him up. And when He had been told that Lazarus was sick in the first place, He even said that it was for the glory of God. I didn’t have time to read about it then, but I asked my pastor about it later that day, and he thought I was wrong, that Jesus cried because He loved Lazarus and it showed His human emotion! Well, I love and respect my pastor, but I knew in my spirit that was hog wosh and couldn’t wait to read it to see for myself. He even said something about Jesus was a man at that time and didn’t have all the knowledge of God, and I knew he was straying way off from my thinking on that one! Now with that in mind, read John 11, VERY carefully and thoughtfully. I have no doubt I could write a book about this passage and everything the Lord revealed to me about it, but I hope and pray that as you read it, you’ll see all of the amazing significance it has for us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. In fact, I’ll do a SOF post about that soon. But the main point I want to make here is that Jesus was not crying because Lazarus was dead. I believe He was crying because Mary, who had earlier demonstrated such great love for Him, had lost faith and confidence in Him. That’s why seeing her tears and despair grieved Him so much and moved Him to cry Himself. Why didn’t Mary come with Martha in the first place when she knew Jesus was there? Why did Jesus specifically send for her? Why did He wait for her before going to the place where Lazarus was buried? And why did John think it was necessary to remind us that Mary had poured out the perfume on Jesus’ feet and dried them with her hair? Those are just some of the reasons I believe Mary’s lack of faith is what caused Jesus’ troubled spirit and tears. And we know Jesus was troubled by people’s lack of faith, based on what He said about not being able to perform miracles in his own home town. And His grief is NOT because we don’t believe in Him. It’s because He knows what our lack of faith will cost us, because it is the one thing that can and will keep us from receiving all of the best He died to give us. And we can see how important that is, because ALL through this passage, Jesus repeatedly ask everyone if they believed in Him.

Then when we read the rest of the chapter and realize that it was that very act, that very miraculous, public and sacrificial act, that eventually led to His death; it’s reasonable to believe that added another dimension to His pain and grief. And yet, we do the same thing to the Lord all the time, because all He wanted then and all He wants now is for us to believe in Him and to believe that NOTHING is impossible with Him, that He has the power to bring that which is dead and buried back to life…and that He WILL do it all for the glory of God and Himself. And the very last verse in the passage about Lazarus proves how and why that happens, because John 11:45 says Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him. And when the people around us, all of the nay sayers, see the Lord restore our hopeless, dead marriages, they will put their faith in Jesus too! And the word of our restored testimonies will be used to keep Satan from destroying many more marriages and families and Jesus will certainly be glorified!

And one other interesting observation I made is that it’s not very likely the Jews came just to see Mary, and not Martha. Personally, I think that’s just God’s way of making it easier to better understand the true significance of this passage, because it’s a lot less about God’s power to perform miracles than it is about how absolutely essential it is for us to BELIEVE THAT HE CAN AND WILL PERFORM THEM!!! And when we don’t believe that, we literally grieve our Lord and Savior, because we are in effect saying that we don’t accept and appreciate the precious price He paid to earn our faith and trust. And if we’re unable to let our spouses go when they want to leave in obedience to God’s Word, with confidence in His promises, we are in effect calling Him a liar. So God asks us to let our spouses go, and to continue to live in peace with them and ourselves, simply as an act of sacrificial, faith filled trust. And when we take that step of faith in obedience to His Word, HE WILL BE FAITHFUL TO DO ALL THAT HIS WORD PROMISES SO JESUS WILL BE GLORIFIED AND THE DEVIL WILL BE DEFEATED! And when we don’t have the faith needed to do that, God will be faithful to give it to us when we ask for it, and when we get SERIOUS about reading and studying HIS word (and that’s not reading what someone else writes ABOUT it; it’s reading the Bible for ourselves), which we know because Romans 10:17 (NKJV) says So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. So I pray for all of us to have the faith and confidence we need in Jesus to LET GO, so we will be supernaturally blessed and encouraged!

Words can’t adequately express how personally exciting it is for me to witness the level of support, ministering and encouragement now taking place among the FAM Fellowship members for each other! The Lord has truly blessed the ministry with some of the most wonderful Christians I’ve ever known, and I feel truly blessed to see how the Lord is working in our midst! So I have a feeling there’s going to be a lot more activity here than usual, because our members keep sharing awesome messages of encouragement with each other that I just can’t resist sharing with everyone! And last night one of our men from Australia shared the following message on the men’s site, with a link to a very encouraging and inspiring article as follows:

“I’m not sure if I found this link at this site or if it’s something I found while googling. But either way it’s a really good read by David Wilkerson. It could probably be subtitled “God of the impossible”. It has really encouraged me. I urge you guys to read it at this link.”

The following message and prayer was posted on the ladies’ fellowship site yesterday by Alex, and since I know it will be very encouraging for anyone standing for marriage restoration, I greatly appreciate her permission to share it here, and I’ll be adding the prayer to the prayer section of the site in the next day or so..

“Today God led me to Joshua and the story of Jericho’s walls falling. Then he led me to Ephesians 2:14-16. These verses refer to God’s plan to unite Jews and Gentiles under the blood of Jesus and therefore unify them but as I read, I felt the Spirit telling me to claim this for my marriage and I claim it for all of our marriages. This is the scripture: For he himself (Christ) is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…his purpose was to create one new man out of the two, thus making peace and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross.

Lord, I ask that each of us would enter our Promised Land with faith in you, not looking to our circumstances. I pray that as you did for the Israelites, Lord, please go before us and let the walls crumble entirely by your power. Lord, remove the barriers in our own hearts and the hearts of our spouses so that we may first and foremost be reconciled to you. But also Lord, show mercy and grace and make us again one in body, mind and spirit with our spouses. Break off and nullify the unnatural bonds our spouses may have with other women and men and with the world. Lord, I pray our spouses would have no peace in mind or body until they have been convicted by the Holy Spirit and surrender themselves to you, confessing and repenting of all manner of sin and neglect. As our spouses repent Lord, keep us in your perfect love and will that we might minister to our husbands and wives and further confirm for them the unconditional love that waits for them both with you and in their marriages. Lord, as we stand for our marriages, help us to not be afraid to cry out our pain in your open court. Help us to remember that you see our innermost hearts and let us not be tricked by the enemy into feeling guilty for our suffering. As standing wives and husbands, Lord, strengthen us and purify us each day so that we will not harbor any anger, resentment, bitterness or unforgiveness towards you, our spouses or those they are sinning with. Lord, this is our genuine prayer. You know our pain, our weariness. We ask that each day you will show incredible faithfulness and love by equipping us to stand. I pray for peace for each one of my standing sisters and brothers. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Claim this for your husbands and wives, Romans 14:4 To his own master a man stands or falls. AND HE WILL STAND, because the LORD is able to make him stand.”

The following message was shared earlier tonight on the ladies’ fellowship website. And since I have no doubt this is a very important and timely message for many people standing for the restoration of their marriages, I appreciate Jenn’s permission to share it here. And the amazing thing about it is the timing, because we have been standing in agreement against an event scheduled for the upcoming weekend. She was praying that it wouldn’t happen, and I was praying that if it did happen, the Lord would just use it to finally sever any remaining ties her husband has with the NCP. And she was REALLY handling the whole situation with a great deal of faith and confidence, not to mention grace. Well, after the Lord spoke to her earlier today, and before she had time to study about what it meant, she was told that the plans for the weekend are canceled, due to bad weather! Praise the Lord!!! And I have absolutely NO DOUBT that’s because Jenn stood firm and allowed faith to be her guide! So as you read this powerful message to all of us from the Lord through Jenn, I know you will be blessed and encouraged!

“When the Lord speaks to me I usually get really concerned about what he is truly trying to tell me. Years ago, before I became a Christian and had a personal relationship with God, I used to hear stories about God speaking to people and thought “Yeah…Right! I don’t think so…” Well guess what? It truly does happen. But sometimes in my flesh I start to question if this is really happening. Yes it does!! It did back then too, but now I am listening, so I can actually hear it.

Today I kept hearing God tell me Stand Firm and then a little while later I heard him say Faith as your guide. So I decided to look up the main 4 words he spoke to me; and let me tell you, it was awesome to have this revelation. Remain erect, position and endure, securely fixed in place, unwavering, completely loyal and trusting God to give direction and supply advice and to counsel. That is the total definition of STAND FIRM FAITH GUIDE. WOW!!!!!!
But I still really wanted to see what He was telling me written scripturally. And He led me to 1 Peter 5:9-11. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
He is telling us in these scriptures to stand firm because if we waiver in our faith by being so focused on our troubles, we forget that Satan is right around the corner waiting for us to let our guard down and attack. We need to allow God to be our guide by fully trusting him to give us the directions to sustain us through these trials and tribulations. Just like a tourist guide God wants to show us the best there is. The memorable moments, the heartfelt moments that he has in store for us. But we need to let him guide us by reading his word daily, praying consistently, and also sharing the word of God with others. That is why I believe that he spoke to me today so that I’d share with other standers. I was listening. Will you? Remember….
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!!!!!!”

One of the most important, yet difficult and challenging, things for us to learn as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is how to take control of our emotions, because our emotions tend to control us and they influence and determine our actions and WAY TOO MUCH of what we say. Since it’s impossible to do that in and of ourselves (John 15:5), the ONLY way we can accomplish it is to KNOW and BELIEVE the word of God. And that’s confirmed in 2 Corinthians 10:4-6, which says The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete. For a more in depth study of that, read The Importance of Taking Every Thought Captive. And another very similar and related SOF post is Learning to Walk in the Spirit.

There’s no doubt that ALL of us can relate to the struggle between KNOWING what we should do and actually DOING what we should do. This is not a new battle for man, as Paul very well expressed and described it in Romans 7 But the rest of the story and so much of the answer we have to rely on is found in Romans 8, especially Romans 8:5, which is a very powerful verse we don’t focus on or teach about enough, because it says Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. And The Amplified Bible puts it this way, For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit. So that boils down to whether or not we’re focused on things of this world instead of the things of God; are we heavenly minded? What’s on our mind most of the time? What are we seeking and what are we pursuing? Answering those questions will tell us if we’re being controlled by our sinful nature or whether we’re walking in the strength and victory of our spiritual nature as described in Romans 8.

Perhaps having a better understanding of Satan’s power and his never ending desire to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10) every blessing, provision and protection promised in God’s Word, might change our perspective and help us overcome the stronghold he has in the area of our emotions. As so often happens, Creflo Dollar’s TV broadcast message this morning was perfectly timed to address this issue, because it is something many men and women standing for marriage restoration struggle with. We have to understand that standing for our marriage is a matter of warfare, and on one side with us is God and on the other side is Satan, who wants to destroy our marriages and our children. So if we continue to give way to his lies and deception, which ALWAYS try to convince us of anything and everything contrary to the Word and character of God, we allow him to steal the restoration we desire because he steals our faith and confidence that God CAN and WILL do what we ourselves are totally powerless to do. And one of the most effective ways he does that is to convince us that there IS something we can do to change our circumstances, and other than obedience to the Word of God and seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness as we put all of our trust and confidence in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6 and Matthew 6:32-34), There is absolutely NOTHING we can do. That’s why He tells us to HUMBLE ourselves under His mighty hand and that HE WILL lift us up in DUE time and that we can cast ALL of our anxieties on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:5-7! So don’t miss Creflo Dollar’s message, What Hinders the Glory? (Part 2). And here’s the first part, What Hinders the Glory?, from yesterday. And please take notes and study these messages, so they can sink in, because there’s no way to understand the power of God’s Word as we take control of our emotions and stand against the wiles of the devil for the restoration of our marriages, without being greatly blessed and encouraged!

Friday night’s FAM Chat was a great time of fellowship and ministry, and what an awesome blessing it was to see the FAM Fellowship members ministering to each other while sharing their personal experiences to help support and encourage each other! 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 was definitely being walked out, because it says Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. Even though the topic started out with sharing why we believe the Lord will restore our marriages, toward the end of the evening it turned more to how difficult it is to let go and trust God in the midst of our problems, which one of the members shared he is finding very difficult to do. He knows what he’s supposed to do, but just finds it too difficult to actually do it and was seeking practical advice about how to change that. And I have to admit to feeling a lot like a proud mama as I saw the depth of compassion and wisdom poured out by the other members in response to our brother’s need. And since this is something most of us have fought to overcome at one time or another, or may still battle from time to time, that will be the topic of this week’s FAM Chat, unless the Lord comes up with something else before then.

Everyone shared great biblical counsel, and most of the “letting go” responses came down to expressing the need we discovered for a personal relationship with Jesus before really learning to trust Him and rely on His word. Since I know this is the same issue so many people standing for marriage restoration struggle with, especially in the earliest stages, I’m sharing my responses to the discussion about how we let go and trust God in the face of our pain and turmoil as follow:

“Yes, MNO (member name omitted). And glad you’re here too! As long as we think we have to hold the reins, we’re not trusting God’s reign. And I can assure you that once you REALLY give everything to Him, you will wonder why it took you so long. But the bottom line is KNOWING what His word says and that we CAN rely on it. And, as we’ve discussed before, and as MNO put so well above, it’s all about things we can’t see or prove. If we can see it or prove it in the natural realm, where’s the faith? Faith is believing what there is no rational reason to believe…believing in confidence what there is no evidence to support. And that could be tougher for some than others, especially those who have more analytical minds…and believe it or not I’m often accused of being too analytical! And I USED to be!”

“Glorifying Jesus Christ is at the heart of everything God does, and there just isn’t any glory for Jesus in divorce, broken homes, damaged children and adulterous relationships and marriages. So instead of wondering if God will restore our marriages for US, maybe we need to start asking if He will do it for Jesus!”

“MNO, the only way we can keep Satan from destroying us through the power of our thoughts and emotions is to take them captive and make them obedient to Christ and the word of God. I suggest reading Philippians 4 every day, maybe even several times a day and staying VERY focused on putting ALL of it into practice. Do you listen to praise and worship music? Are you going to a local church? These are very important to you as a Christian…to help you grow in your walk and relationship with the Lord. HE DOES COMMAND US TO MAKE HIM FIRST. And the sin all of us are guilty of is not keeping HIM first. We made our spouses and marriages the priority of our lives, and
God can not and will not bless and reward that. He desires to be the first priority in your life. Do you think about Him even half as much as your wife, and do you desire a closer relationship with him MORE than you desire the restoration of your marriage? I once heard it put this way…when we get our house in right order with God, everything else in our homes and lives will be in right order. God really got my attention and made me change my focus when I studied The Purpose Driven Life, so I’d strongly suggest getting that and reading it. That’s what it took to lead my husband to the Lord in the end, so I know it has power.”

“MNO, what it ALL boils down to is a very personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, because you CAN NOT trust Him without that. And what we’re all saying is that through these circumstances and trials we were brought into that kind of relationship with Him. It’s one thing to know OF God and a totally different thing to KNOW God! And the only way to trust God and KNOW that His plans for you are for good and not for evil is to KNOW Him, and that means you have felt and experienced
His love and goodness; that you realized that without the shed blood of HIS BELOVED SON, you were a sinner doomed to hell; but He loved you enough to send His son to die for you so your sin debt was paid in full and to give you victory over the wickedness of this world. So when you’ve asked Him to come into your heart and to be Lord of your life, everything changes, and when we do that, that is where the peace and joy comes from; that’s why we have the strength to let it go and know that we can trust a loving Father. You can’t trust God without first KNOWING his love and goodness. And I’ve often found in this ministry that women could not trust the Lord to restore their marriages because they had never truly trusted Him for their salvation. That’s the first step, and sometimes people find themselves in a crisis situation and that step gets skipped over, so it’s necessary to revisit it. Because if you can’t find a place of peace and joy in the midst of this turmoil, there’s a disconnect with the Holy Spirit OR you’re just not being still enough to hear from Him. So let’s talk about this more on the phone…okay? The good news is that God is drawing you and HE WILL HAVE HIS WAY WITH YOU, and that can only be very good news indeed, because the best is yet to come, and you WILL have the peace you so long for!
Dear Lord, in the name of your precious son, Jesus, we thank you for giving MNO the peace and faith he so longs for. Amen.”

Then yesterday, one of the members who had left the chat room Friday night before the discussion turned to letting go, shared the following testimony on the men’s private site in hopes of providing encouragement for the member who was asking for help. And since I thought it was so powerful, because I know many visitors to the site will be able to relate to it, I asked for Dan’s permission to share it here, which I thank him for giving. So here’s the word of Dan’s testimony about how he overcame the inevitable struggle to let go and learn to trust God:

“ I have been on my journey of marriage restoration for almost 14 months now. I made many mistakes and suffered more than I thought humanly possible. I truly wish that I could help you avoid the pain but the suffering seems to be necessary in order for God to get us where He wants us to be. I hope sharing my experience it will give you encouragement and faith in God to not just stand for your marriage, but to also do it with the peace and joy God wants you to have while waiting for His timing.

It is difficult for me to prioritize the importance of the pieces of wisdom that I have gained over the past 14 months. Maybe they can’t be separated; they are all intertwined for a reason.
I know that I have done everything humanly possible to save my marriage; at least I thought I had. The one thing I needed to do and didn’t until I was completely broken was to give it all to God. I had to say yes and mean yes in finally letting God have it all. I had faith and I knew God wanted to heal and restore my marriage; I just had to really believe that I was worthy of such a thing. Satan was using me to prolong giving it all to God – because Satan knows the end result!!
You must know that God hates divorce and He will not bless divorce and will not break the covenant of our marriages. He will not let our prayers and faith go without notice. He has plans for us to prosper and nothing is impossible for God; you have to have faith in that, know that the Word tells us that and to actually BELIEVE it is going to happen. He is a God who healed the sick, raised the dead, parted the seas, and moved mountains. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That means He is performing miracles today…NOW, and we don’t have to wait. The supernatural is there for us just as it was for Moses, Elisha, David, Lazarus, and on and on. He loves us just as much.

The most difficult part of my stand has been to not look at my circumstances; my wife telling me she has fallen out of love, her changing jobs and moving 6 hours away, appearing that she has never been happier and nor had more fun, and most of all, replacing me as the man in her life. I can feel the hurt oozing up in me as I write this, but it doesn’t consume me any more because I know God has a victory party planned down the road and He is waiting to receive the glory and honor for His work. I know we will be a powerful witness to others and I can’t wait to share our testimony as so many others have in encouraging me.

Having said all of that, the road has been long and weary. On May 1, 2006 I hit bottom. I had no one to turn to but God, and I was a pretty spiritual person before all this began. I had shed more tears in two months than I had in my previous 49 years. I was down to 130 pounds, missed 25 days of work in 4 months and had written letters to my boys telling them that I loved them and good-bye. I had taken too much medication and really didn’t care. Until – at the completion of writing to my kids the Holy Spirit washed over me and in a Dr. Phil type way said, “What are you thinking?” I was thinking of myself and absolutely no one else! I had refused to let God take my burdens, and even though I knew what His Word said, I had to actually believe He would do all those things for me, an unworthy sinner. I ended up on a psychiatric ward, which I must say was a humbling but wonderful experience. And I am still on medication, which I believe is okay with God for now.

The good news is that God meets us where we are; I didn’t have to clean up…I just had to invite God to take over in a situation that I could do nothing about. I could not change my wife and I couldn’t change myself without God. I had to ask God to reveal my own weaknesses and what He wanted to change in me and then let Him work to bring those changes about. I had to hand it all over to Him. That was when I received relief – joy and peace knowing that God could do what I wanted to do and don’t have the power to do. I have learned so much about myself in letting God reveal things to me, which was pretty scary at first.

The more I prayed, read the Word, became involved in Bible studies, spent more time worshipping at church, sang and listened to praise songs, and surrounded myself with Godly people – the more peace and joy God gave me. I have had fantastic support from my ministers in my stand for the healing and restoration of our marriage. And they have given me cell phone numbers and made time for me whenever I needed to talk. So many people have blessed me and there was less and less opportunity for Satan to attack.

I guess my point is that there is definitely a purpose in the process! It isn’t to see how much pain and suffering we can handle but to get us to the point of surrendering in our brokenness to the only one that can deliver us; our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Now, all that being said, I can’t tell you that every day is a picnic and joyous occasion for me! I long for my wife and I pray every day that she would call and tell me that she loves me and is coming home. And I have to pray every day for God to fill the voids of loneliness, companionship and intimacy. The difference is I know now that God is working even if I can’t see things happening. I do know He has changed me and I would not for go the past 14 months and give up my spiritual growth and the intimate relationship I have with God today. Had my wife come home in the first few months, I am not sure that I would not have compromised that relationship. God continues to encourage me to stand for the covenant of my marriage, and Satan has become less of an influence in my stand as I grow in my obedience to Christ.

I pray for and with you in confidence that God will heal and restore our marriages and families and I thank Him for giving us strength and for leading us through the process with His grace and mercy showered upon us. Trust and obey, for there is no other way.
May the Holy Spirit bless you as you believe in His Word and that His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. I hope I have given you some peace!

Love and blessings.
Dan”

And the following is the reply I posted on the men’s fellowship site:
“Dan, thank you so much for sharing the word of your testimony! It’s clear how the Lord has worked through it just as He does with all of us when we come to the place of realizing what He wants us to realize, which is that without Him we are nothing and we can do nothing! I remember how shocked I was the first time I read that God’s name is Jealous, because that means a lot more than just saying that He is a jealous God, and it explains why having no other gods before me is the first commandment. Of course, Jesus later paraphrased that to say we’re to love God with ALL our hearts, minds, soul and strength. And the Word even says that if we seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, THEN HE WILL give us EVERYTHING else! And since the Word also tells us that God has the power to bring His Word to pass, that it does not return void and that it accomplishes what HE desires, we can see why we some times have to experience the depths of despair as you did.

And, even though I don’t share it often, I have to admit that I’ve been there too. I actually sat on the floor in front of a nightstand where my husband kept a loaded gun, with the gun in my lap…I can’t honestly say that I had made the decision to kill myself at that moment, but I was certainly considering it as I sat there crying totally broken hearted. I couldn’t bear my husband’s coldness and apparent indifference, and I couldn’t understand how it was even possible for someone to change so drastically. And I had given up EVERYTHING for my marriage! I had given up my home, the only means of independently supporting myself through something I had worked years to establish, and my job, because my husband was also my boss. And EVERYBODY had tried to tell me to slow down! BUT as I sat there, the phone (which just happened to be on the same nightstand) rang and I got a grip on my emotions. And there were many other rough moments, but I did eventually turn back to the Lord for the comfort and peace I so desperately longed for. And I wouldn’t change ANY of it today, because I am who I am today because of it and I’m doing what I’m doing today, because of it. And just as Genesis 50:20 says, what others and Satan meant for evil, God has turned to something for His glory and the good of many other people! In fact, I was able to send my husband a letter this past New Year’s Day in which I told him one of the most unexpected things that happened somewhere along the way this past year was how God changed loving him from what used to seem like a terrible burden I had to bear into what I treasure now as an incredible blessing to share! And that happened ONLY through the power of God and a God given desire and willingness to help others who had experienced the same thing…and most of all to help keep them from making so many of the same mistakes I made. And if it were NOT for EVERYTHING I went through and the things the Lord taught me in the process, there would be no FAM Ministries today. And, like you Dan, I realize that if God had answered many of my prayers along the way, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today. And NOTHING would be worth that! … I am fully satisfied with my life and look forward to every day with new anticipation and expectation, because I see His hand at work in so many situations around me, and nothing is more exciting or rewarding than that. And you’re right, sharing these testimonies with others who are now where we were, is very important to encourage them and give them hope. But this is the first time I’ve shared this part of my testimony, so thanks for leading me to do that by the awesome example you set, which is what we all should do according to 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, as shared above.

MNO, I had a conversation Saturday with a woman who is very much where you are; she just can’t let go and trust God to do what she knows she can not do, and what she keeps making a mess of because she keeps trying to do anyway. And the Lord really surprised me with a question He put in my mind. He told me to ask her if she knew for a fact that she could have either a close walk and relationship with the Lord or the marriage of her dreams with her husband, and it was guaranteed, but she could only choose one; which would it be? (She had been asking why the Lord isn’t answering her prayers when she is doing everything she’s supposed to do…even though she really isn’t, because she will NOT let go.) As sad as it was to hear her honest answer, that was probably a transforming moment in her life and the first step to the restoration of her marriage, because I think the answer shocked even her, because she said if she was honest, she would choose her husband! Of course, that was the answer to why God can not and will not work to restore her marriage; she was putting it before Him and had made an idol of her husband and marriage, and now the restoration of it. It’s a good thing God reminds us that HIS thoughts are so much higher and different from ours, because we certainly can’t understand how letting go of something we want works when that’s the exact opposite of what we want! But that is what His word tells us to do, and until we’re able to trust Him enough to take Him at His word, we are not likely to experience the things we’re standing and praying for. We can’t stand on the promises of God without standing on the Word of God, and that’s where the faith comes in! But thanks to your willingness to open up about how you’re struggling, MNO, a LOT of men and women are praying for you, and I have no doubt you WILL feel the power of those prayers in ways you can’t even imagine right now. God promises us that if we seek, we’ll find and if we knock, the door will be opened to us, so just keep seeking the answers and keeping your mind and heart open to hear from the Lord, and you will not be disappointed! Remember, in Jeremiah 33:3 He tells us that if we call out to Him, He will hear us and He will answer us and show us great and mighty things we do not know…BUT WE HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT!

Dear Lord, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful work I see you doing through this ministry, which I know pleases you too! How awesome it is to see someone in pain and distress able to reach out to others who respond with love and compassion and such a genuine desire to help and give comfort. And that’s exactly what you tell us to do as Christians. So I thank you for MNO’s willingness to lay his emotions bare before us; that he felt comfortable enough to do so; a humbling experience which you WILL bless and reward: and for the wonderful response of other fellowship members, especially the way Dan chose to share his awesome testimony and experience. And I thank you for the peace and comfort I know you want to give to MNO in his time of distress, so I ask you to tear down all walls of resistance and to break up the ground of his heart so he can hear you when you pour your heart out to him and make your thoughts known to him. And I thank you that through the power of the Holy Spirit you will give Him the mustard seed of faith he needs to put ALL of his hope and confidence in you. Surround him with your love and goodness, Lord, and overwhelm him with your grace, mercy and glory! I ask these things in the most powerful name of Jesus as I give Him ALL praise, honor and glory! Amen.”

By sharing so much of the above testimonies, I truly hope that anyone in a place of so much pain and despair that it seems impossible to go on, will see that with time and by continually turning to God, you will not only survive, but come out of the trial much stronger and better. And I doubt very seriously that it was by coincidence that I received an email message today that included the following:

“Malachi 3:3 says: “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.” She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?” He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.”

So once again we’ve witnessed God’s awesome and totally amazing power and faithfulness to confirm the messages He intends to deliver! And I pray that anyone who is feeling the intense heat of the refiner’s fire, will be comforted to know that Luke 3:16 says “John answered them all, “I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.” So instead of feeling defeated and discouraged because of the heat, I hope you’ll keep your eyes upon Jesus so you can be purified, strengthened, blessed, and encouraged as you’re transformed to reflect the image of Christ!

Long before I even knew marriage restoration ministries existed, there was NO doubt in my mind that a woman would gladly submit to a man who loved her as Christ loves the church. But thinking about that now, it’s amusing to realize how right I was, despite having almost no understanding of what it really meant! So in honor of the first five men who are now FAM Fellowship members, I’m pleased to dedicate the first Seeds of Faith post for men to gaining a better understanding of what God means when He tells men to love their wives as Christ loves the church! And just as it sounds, that’s a pretty tall order!

Earlier today one of the fellowship members requested prayer for the Holy Spirit to be with him before, during and after the times he communicates with his wife, so he won’t experience so much anxiety about communicating with her, because he’s so afraid of not saying the right thing or of saying the wrong thing. And he shared how he’s always waiting to hear words of encouragement from his wife, but it never happens, and he wants to overcome those feelings of anxiety and experience peace. And I’m sure most men standing for marriage restoration feel the same way, and it’s really no wonder since they probably don’t understand much about what the Bible teaches concerning their role as husbands. And while it might not seem that significant, the best way to start hearing words of encouragement from your wives is to focus SOLELY on speaking words of praise, blessings and encouragement to them instead of waiting to hear them yourself.

Just as women standing for marriage restoration have to learn the importance of a quiet and gentle spirit, and submitting to their husbands, while demonstrating unconditional respect and honor; men need to understand that the best way to help turn their wives’ hearts back to them is to pray and speak blessings, praise and encouragement into their lives. In 1 Peter 3, husbands are instructed “…be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of
life”…and it goes on to say that if they don’t, their prayers will be hindered! So God must be pretty serious about that! And then it says “…live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic…be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” And there aren’t many women who won’t be drawn to sympathetic and compassionate men. So it’s important for men standing for marriage restoration to seek ways to demonstrate genuine sympathy and compassion for their wives. You have to start LOOKING for the opportunities, because when you do, I promise you the Lord WILL provide them. And if it’s necessary, start praying for the Lord to create opportunities for you to demonstrate these traits to your wives.

And as men standing for the restoration of your marriages, you have to really study and rely on Ephesians 5:25-33 to understand what the Lord instructs you to do as husbands, because it says:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Wow! The Lord just gave me an awesome insight as I read that again for at least the twentieth or thirtieth time! God actually expects a husband to wash away (or cleanse) his wife’s sin by covering it with the power of His living Word, in the same way the Lord no longer sees our sin because it’s covered with the blood of Christ. So when it’s difficult for a husband to see anything but his wife’s mistakes and sin, past or present, he’s obviously not relying on the power of God’s Word or covering her with love, because 1 Peter 4:8 says “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” I think that’s what the Lord means when he tells a husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church, because it’s through the blood of Christ, which He shed for us in the most sacrificial act known to man as a demonstration of His love, that we’re presented to HIM as “a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish.” “And we’re all probably familiar with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 which spells out that kind of love a lot more definitively, because it says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.“ And when a man loves his wife that way, she would obviously be cleansed through the power of the Word! And just as with us, that does NOT mean she is blameless or sinless; it just means that she is MADE blameless and sinless through the power of her husband’s sacrificial love. But most of us have to admit that we don’t love that way. And since Proverbs 19:22 tells us that unfailing love is what every man (and woman) desires, we need to pray for the Lord to teach us to love our spouses in accordance with His word.

And another interesting insight I just had when reading that again, is that the most common explanation I’ve heard from women who leave their husbands or get involved with other men, is that their husbands’ didn’t pay them any attention; that he was too busy with work; that he didn’t have time for her; that he was not interested in her; that he was too involved watching TV or playing computer games, etc.. Yet, the Lord tells a man to leave his mother and father to be united with his wife, and become one flesh with her, which means that God’s plan was for a man’s wife to be a priority in his life. Obviously that indicates that she is to be treasured, cherished, cared for and nurtured; not ignored and taken for granted as so many women tend to feel. So perhaps the best way to understand what wives need from their husbands is to consider what we all need and expect from the Lord, or what the Bible tells us we can rely on Him for. The first thing has to be fellowship, which explains why so many women are discontent in their marriages. The next thing is probably protection and provision, and feeling safe and secure is certainly a priority to most women, which includes emotionally as well as physically. And we all want to be blessed by the Lord, and there’s no doubt that women thrive when they receive the blessings and praises of their husbands. And then another vitally important aspect of our relationship with the Lord is our ability to have absolute trust and confidence in Him, so reliability and trustworthiness is also very important to women.

As difficult as women often find it to do what the Lord asks of us, there’s no doubt that He places a great burden of responsibility on husbands, especially since they’re the ones He very specifically commands to love their wives sacrificially and unconditionally just as Christ loves the church. And blessed are the women whose husbands understand that, because one of the greatest blessings for any woman is to be able to genuinely admire and respect her husband as she submits to him in EVERYTHING as unto the Lord! And since Isaiah 54 tells women without husbands very specifically what they can expect from GOD as their husband, there’s obviously a lot men can learn from it about being a godly husband. So perhaps some of the ladies could read it and respond to it and the other passages of scripture above, and share with the men how and why we might respond well when our husbands put these instructions into practice. Hopefully sharing our different perspectives as men and women with each other in terms of our godly roles as husbands and wives will be a great source of blessing and encouragement as we learn how to stand more effectively for the restoration of our marriages, and even more importantly how to be godly husbands and wives WHEN our marriages ARE restored! So be blessed and encouraged!

Since Satan has been working overtime to attack some of the FAM Fellowship members with condemnation lately, this seems like a very good time to expose its source and destroy its power, because as Christians, condemnation has NO place in our lives! And we KNOW that, because Romans 8:1-2 says Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. And any time we see something like “therefore”, it’s important to see what came before it, because that’s what the “therefore” refers to. And Romans 7:25 says Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. But most of us are probably a lot more familiar with how the inevitable battle between our spirit and flesh is described in Matthew 26:41 (NKJV), which says Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Obviously Paul, who wrote so much of the New Testament, struggled with sin, which he made no bones about in many of his writings. Yet, he said there was NO condemnation for his sin, because of Jesus Christ, in whom there is NO condemnation. And he explained that even more explicitly in Romans 5:15-16, which says But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. And then Romans 5:18 says Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men.

So Satan absolutely loves it when we beat ourselves up because it’s so difficult to bring our flesh under the control of our spirit. But the GOOD NEWS is that 1 John 1:7-9 says But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. And John 6:63 even says The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. So through the Word, we CAN overcome the sin in our lives, and through the blood of Christ we are cleansed from all unrighteousness.

One of the most difficult challenges when first ministering to someone standing for marriage restoration is getting them to stop looking at their spouse’s sin long enough to examine their own mistakes and sin. But then, just as soon as that happens, Satan comes rushing in with condemnation by filling them with so much guilt and shame that they find it hard to believe God would ever restore their marriages! Yet that’s a lie straight from the pit of hell, and totally contrary to the Word of God, especially John 8:31-32, which says To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” But just as with any other kind of bondage, Satan uses condemnation to keep us from being the witnesses God intends us to be for the praise, honor and glory of Jesus Christ. And if Satan can hinder that process by tormenting us with so much guilt and shame that our lives don’t bear witness to the miraculous peace and joy found through the power of the Holy Spirit, he wins; because our lives won’t glorify Jesus as described in 1 Peter 2:9, which says But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

And Ephesians 1 makes it very clear that EVERYTHING that happens in our lives is in FULL accordance with God’s predestined plan and that it will happen according to HIS time table and not ours, AND that it will ALL be for the praise and glory of Jesus Christ. So that means that even our sins and mistakes WILL be used for the glory of our Lord and Savior. And we find an amazing and very descriptive revelation of how that works by reading Isaiah 55, especially verses 6-13, which say:
Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”
Obviously that flies in the face of believing that God won’t restore our marriages because of our past sins! In fact, it makes it pretty clear that when we repent and refrain from our wicked ways and evil thoughts, and turn to the Lord; SOLELY TO BRING GLORY TO JESUS CHRIST, God will have mercy on us and freely pardon us, AND then actually cause us to reap something TOTALLY different than what we sowed! And He even told us we might as well NOT even try to make sense of that, because His thoughts and His ways are so much higher than ours…BUT HIS WORD NEVER RETURNS VOID! So anyone struggling with condemnation that leads to doubting the Lord will back up His own Word, particularly Malachi 2:13-17, which HE said WILL accomplish what HE desires, should read Isaiah 55 every day if necessary until Satan’s lies are overcome and hurled down when we claim it as the “word of our testimony”! And reading Jesus’ awesome promise in John 15:7-8 should help make us a lot more interested and serious about studying our Bibles, because He said If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. So CONTINUALLY AND CONSISTENTLY studying God’s word is how we overcome the condemnation Satan hopes will discourage us and destroy our faith and confidence in the Lord to restore our marriages and families. And according to Jesus, that’s the one sure way to have our prayers answered! Now there’s NO way to understand that without being very blessed and encouraged! BUT…IF you need more, just remember Romans 8:28 promises that the Lord will cause ALL things to work together for our good when we love Him and when we are living our lives in accordance with His will and word! And that “ALL” means past, present and future, good bad or indifferent…EVERYTHING, just like Ephesians 1 says! And God WILL do it all for the praise, honor and glory of His beloved Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

One of the most unexpected and surprising observations I’ve made as the result of many conversations with women standing for marriage restoration, is their reaction when they finally overcome the sense of desperation that once threatened to destroy them, and experience peace and joy for the first time in a long time. And the most amazing thing about it is that it’s something we ALL experienced soon after finding the very peace and joy Jesus came to give us! After the initial flood of relief that rushes over us, there seems to be an inevitable sense of guilt, or even fear that we’ve stopped loving our spouses, and that God is not pleased with us! Yet every one of us have probably heard 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NKJV) at some time or another, which says But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such
cases. But God has called us to peace. So why is it that when we FINALLY reach that God glorifying place of letting our spouses depart and living in peace, instead of recognizing the awesome work of God in our lives and hearts, we feel guilty and totally forget the part about not being under bondage? There’s only one answer, and that’s SATAN! He can’t stand it when our lives reflect the power and glory of Jesus Christ and when the world sees us living in peace and joy in the midst of our marital storms! He can’t stand it when our friends, families and co-workers see the miraculous transformation that takes place in our hearts and demeanor as we put our faith and confidence in the Lord and go about our lives with genuine peace and joy! Why? Because that is exactly what draws people out of his kingdom of darkness into God’s glorious and wonderful kingdom of light, confirming 1 Peter 2:9, which says But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. So for Satan, it’s a fight for the hearts, minds, souls, lives and eternal destination of the countless number of people who will be touched by seeing the peace we have found through knowing and experiencing the love and power of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, including our spouses and children! That’s why I’m so distressed by how that particular verse is terribly misrepresented and perverted by Christian leaders today. Because believing and teaching that God tells us to let our spouses go and move on with our lives, only serves to further Satan’s plan to kill and destroy the marriages God said NO man should put asunder! And it
denies the kingdom of God the power and glory of restored marriage testimonies, which Satan wants to prevent, because he knows they will be used to overcome him and hurl him down, based on Revelation 12:10-11, which says Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. So when we reach that place of peace and joy Jesus came to give us, we should rejoice and praise the Lord and glorify His name by refusing to let Satan steal what our precious Savior paid such a dear price to give us!

And I strongly suspect this is another “just for someone” post today, because even though I saw programs I really liked this morning; when it came time to write my post for the day, I had a TOTALLY blank mind/screen! And it’s very unusual for me to make it to the afternoon without a pretty good idea of what I’m writing about, but that was not the case today. If I didn’t know how the Lord works, I might have been concerned, but I was sure the Lord would reveal it in time, even though it looked like He was waiting to the very last minute! And since I didn’t have a post to work on yet, I took advantage of the “free” time and decided to finish reading Judy Rousseau’s message from yesterday, which she sent out late and which I didn’t get a chance to finish because of interruptions. And when I read her response to a question from one of the “partners”, I thought “That would be a very good topic for a post…especially since it ties into conversations I’ve had with some of the fellowship members over the past few days.” Then I took several phone calls and answered a couple of emails that required responses, and just before settling down to write my post, which I already had pretty well set in my mind, I checked the private sites to see if anything needed my attention. So imagine my surprise and delight when a member had JUST shared something in “Heart To Heart” about the exact same topic I had in mind! The only reason I share these details is so someone knows and is encouraged by the lengths the Lord has gone to just to speak to them in their time of need!

I believe sharing the following messages help illustrate how Satan can turn our stand for marriage restoration into a snare of bondage if we let him, and the best ways to avoid that. So here’s Judy Rousseau’s message from yesterday.

“Here’s another Frequently Asked Question sent in by one of our partners:
Did you think about your spouse/situation constantly or were you able to pray and then completely leave it alone?

I did think of Paul and the situation I was in frequently. However I found that when my husband and my circumstances were my focus, I lost my sense of peace and joy and got caught up in worry and anxiety. There were times that I had to make a conscious CHOICE to keep my mind and thoughts STAYED ON THE LORD, taking every thought captive to His Word and will. I also found it helpful to get out and be with people. Occasionally those people were people who had needs that I could minister comfort and love to. Other times those precious souls set a place at their family table for me and just kinda took me in.

My prayers were varied, at times they were intense, fervent and desperate and other times merely a “Lord please just continue the good work You have begun.” Much of my prayer time was spent quoting and claiming the promises I found in scripture over my life. Because the Lord had spoken very clearly to me about bringing me through to GREAT VICTORY, I was able to let go of much of my fear and anxiety. His grace
was truly upon me and I know that I never would have made it through that time without His hand constantly leading me.”

If you would like to receive Judy’s daily (Monday-Friday) messages of encouragement, please send a message to hope4marriages-subscribe@associate.com and reply to the server notice to confirm your subscription. Hope for Hurting Marriages is a ministry of encouragement for men and women who are praying for the restoration of their marriages and families.

And here’s the message shared on the ladies private fellowship website this afternoon:

“(name omitted), I had to respond to a statement you made in a response to my prayer request this past Sunday, 1/21. In your responding post you said, “I have an almost “I don’t care” feeling, because God is working. And God is being the husband that I need at this very moment.” I thought I was going to do a happy dance, because I too have had and am still having that same “I don’t care” feeling. It is very liberating. It’s not that I don’t love my husband. I do. And I desire him to repent and be restored to the Lord first, and to return home to his wife and kids. But, right now… I don’t care as much. It’s not a priority. For a minute I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn’t “upset” and “fretting” over my situation, and I thought am I the only one who feels this way? I’m so accustomed to those emotions, and now I have the greatest sense of peace and joy! It is amazing. I do my best to keep my mind on Jesus and not my husband. God has been my husband for the past several months. He has covered, protected, provided, guided, and sustained me in ways unimaginable. He has met my every need. I tell you, when my husband comes home, he’s got a big pair of shoes to fill (lol).
Yes, God is my husband for this season and I love him and thank Him.
Glad to know I’m not alone out here….
Love you (name omitted) and I’m standing and praying right along with you.
(name omitted) in Virginia”

And here’s the response I posted on the private site:

“ME TOO! And I know for a fact several of the other ladies feel the exact same way! One of the ladies I talked to this past weekend said that she had felt guilty, because she wasn’t feeling so burdened for the restoration of her marriage and wasn’t praying for her husband the same way she had been…with the same urgency…so she started making herself do it again. And then she was depressed and lost the sense of peace she had finally found! Well, as I told her, that couldn’t be of the Lord! We never stop praying for our husbands or standing for the restoration of our marriages, but we can not allow that to consume our lives. I think that’s what it means to let them go; that we’re not under BONDAGE; and that we’re called to live in peace. So Satan can even turn our burden to pray into bondage and use it to steal the peace we find by RESTING AND TRUSTING in the Lord! God wants us to put all of our focus on Him, and when it is necessary, He WILL give us the burden we need to pray for our husbands beyond the prayers we should always be praying for them, which is for the power of the Holy Spirit to move in their heart and circumstances to draw them into right relationship with the Lord and to restore our marriages…for the glory of the Lord! And I think we should remember to pray for the Lord to send angels to guard and protect them, and to guide and direct them. And there may be other particular prayers the Lord puts on each of our hearts, but I do NOT believe He means for us to lose our peace, HIS PEACE, because of the burden we have to pray for our husbands and to stand for the restoration of our marriages. We’re to live our lives in such a way that those who ARE watching just can’t believe what the Lord is doing in us and for us. They should want exactly what we have, and no one will want discouragement, desperation and depression! They want the righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, which Jesus told us the kingdom of God is really all about! Excellent topic, (name omitted)! Thanks! In fact, I might make this the topic for my SOF post today, since I know it is such a common experience for many of the women I talk to!”

So there’s nothing wrong with experiencing the peace and joy that comes only when we truly trust and rely on our Lord and Savior. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what God meant in Psalm 46:10, when He told us “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” And we should find a great deal of comfort, peace and reassurance in the promise found in Proverbs 21:30, which says There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. So we should never let Satan steal the peace and victory we have in Jesus, by making our faithful obedience to stand for the restoration of our marriages cause us to live in bondage of any kind. Remember that Jesus came to set the captives free, not to put us under bondage, so be blessed and encouraged, and make the most of the peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, which is the abundant life He came to give us.

The following was posted on the ladies’ FAM Fellowship website yesterday, and I thought it was something that would encourage others, so I thank Jenn for graciously giving me permission to share it here too! Be blessed and encouraged!

“While running an errand today for my husband, I was being attacked with negative thoughts in my head of recent happenings replaying over and over. Just as my thoughts were really starting to get to me, I drove past a church that I had driven by earlier and had not noticed their sign out front. However, God wanted me to see that sign at that particular moment. The sign said “Facing the giants in your Promised Land”. I immediately thanked God and just started smiling.
Then tonight as I took a break from trying to help my spouse in whatever he needed, I picked up my bible and opened it to the index to see what God was trying to tell me earlier. Being I am a relatively new Christian, I didn’t even know Giants were even mentioned in the bible. God led me to Deuteronomy 1:28-34.
Det 1:28 tells us that the outlook according to some looked bleak in the land that God wanted the people of Israel to occupy. 10 of the 12 that were sent into the land even said they saw giants. Doesn’t that sound so familiar to us today, especially with family and friends telling us how bleak our stand for the restoration of our marriages look? And in my case, that’s what my negative thoughts were making it look like today. Our giants today are our prodigal spouses, our unruly children, our problems and issues in other areas of our lives. We all have one or more giants to face. But just as God told the Israelites, he is telling us in verse 29 and 30″ not to be afraid that the Lord your God is going before you. He will fight for you”.
For some of us verse 31 will really minister to us. It did for me. God’s love for us is so great that he cared for us while we were in the wilderness. AGAIN AND AGAIN… He brought me out of the wilderness; I know he will bring out my husband as well.
When I was driving this afternoon, God used that sign to bring me back to reality. Before I even knew it, God used that sign to tell me that he heard me complaining and was becoming very angry. He tells us in verse 34 that he hears our complaining. He used that sign on the side of the road to shut me up and remind me of my Promised Land and to know that Yes, I have a giant to face, But I need to carry on, quit complaining and trust him.”

Perhaps the most difficult natural instinct we have to overcome as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is our tendency to respond to the difficulties and challenges we face with either flight or fight. But neither reaction allows the Lord to be glorified in our lives, much less in the restoration of our marriages and families. Yet, our natural self-defense mechanisms and pride tend to make either flight or fight our first reaction, which is why we have to take those thoughts and impulses captive, making them obedient to the Lord and His word for the victory we want. And one way to do that is to ALWAYS keep 1 Peter 5:6-7 in mind, because it tells us Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. And as one of the FAM Fellowship members reminded us last night on the private site, we have to remember and rely on the awesome promise in Isaiah 26:3, which says You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. And Joshua 1:9 tells us Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

All this past week, we’ve been blessed with similar messages on all of our favorite programs about the power of God’s word when it’s sown in our hearts and when we speak it aloud in faith, and the absolute necessity of trusting God no matter what. And Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message this morning was one of the best I’ve ever heard about trusting the Lord and relying on Him for vindication when we’re going through difficult times or when we’ve been wronged by others. And she makes the same point several of our members have reminded us of in the last few days, which is that we go through the things we do for others; for the restoration and deliverance of our loved ones; and for our children and others who are watching us. Some times we have to suffer through difficult times for the glory of the Lord and for the benefit and furtherance of His kingdom, because that IS what we signed on for when we accepted the name of Christ. But that’s not popular doctrine and it’s certainly not preached or taught very often. And that’s why so many of us were caught totally off guard and unprepared when all hell broke loose in our homes and marriages. Joyce uses a lot of powerful scripture references and makes some very profound points, so be prepared to take notes as you listen to A Trusting Attitude – Part II. And you might want to listen to A Trusting Attitude – Part I too.

Then Creflo Dollar’s TV broadcast message this morning is a perfect compliment to Joyce’s, because he even covers some of the same passages of scripture and confirms topics covered on the site earlier this week, such as the power of speaking God’s word out loud and relying on angels for protection and deliverance as they work to accomplish God’s will and purpose. That’s confirmed in Psalm 103:20 (NKJV), which says Bless the LORD, you His angels, Who excel in strength, who do His word, Heeding the voice of His word. And the amazing power of angels to guard and protect us is confirmed in Psalm 91:9-16, which says If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.” And what an AWESOME example we find of exactly how that works in Acts 12:4-11! So here’s Creflo Dollar’s message, How to Get Angels to Work for You, which will be very helpful as we strive to be more steadfast about putting our trust in the Lord and relying on the power of His angels to protect, defend and deliver us! So be blessed and encouraged!